9 Months to Live
by THE L0NE WANDERER
Summary: After a drunken night of mistakes the entire cast of RWBY finds themselves in trouble, but none worse than the blonde knight. Jaune has accidentally got Ruby pregnant. He has survived the Beacon entrance exam, grimm, but nothing could preparing him for this. Jaune will have to survive the wrath of Taiyang, Qrow, and worst of all, Yang…
1. Prologue The Hangover

**9 months to Live**

 **Prologue**

 **AN: I do not own RWBY. I primarily wrote this because with all the depressing shit going down in volume 3 right now, I feel the community could use some laughs. And what better way than at Jaune's expense**

* * *

Jaune Arc groaned as the light hit his eyes. He felt a killer hangover, and hardly remember what happened last night. The only thing he remembered was Yang bringing out several kegs of beer, that she claimed she "borrowed" from her uncle, and the rest of the night was a blur. Finally getting up, Jaune was shocked by his lack of clothes. The man was completely naked. This left the Arc wondering through his alcohol induced headache. He always went to bed in his onesie. Heck, he remembered one time he found it on fire in the middle of the cafeteria, but fortunately (much to the demise of his scheming friends) he still had several spares. He looked around the room, seeing his pants and some red and black female undergarments scattered throughout the room. Jaune began to fear for the worst. His mother had gave him death threats if something like what this looked like happened. Did he actually…

"-Ahhh"

Jaune froze as he turned to see the source of the yawn next to him. There, in nothing but her birthday suit, was Ruby, laying down in the same bed as Jaune.

Ruby shot up out of the bed, bringing the covers up over her as a girly scream broke through the room. She turned to see a naked Jaune cowering in the corner, muttering something about the her sister and the end of the Arc crown jewels.

"Um Jaune...did we…" Ruby asked meekly.

Jaune nodded, his cheeks flushing red. "I mean I don't remember anything other than Yang and booze, but um, we woke up naked in the same same bed, so…" He stuttered "I mean I don't remember anything, not that you would be forgettable, I mean-"  
"Jaune, please shut up"  
"Okay"

Ruby let out a yelp "YANG! She can't ever know! She will literally kill you!"

Jaune shuddered. "Trust me, your sister would do more than just kill me if she found out. Speaking of which, do you have ANY idea exactly WHAT happened last night?"

"I don't know, as we can see, last night got pretty crazy" The Reaper shrugged. "Let's get dressed and go look for them...IN SEPARATE ROOMS JAUNE!" She yelled, throwing a pillow at the knight as he started putting on his pants. Jaune, ran out into the bathroom, embarrassed and silently praying to Oum nothing bad would come from the previous night.

* * *

Fortunately for the two leaders, They managed to locate the rest of their teams pretty easily. Ren and Nora were found in the middle of the forest, most notable the giant tree fort that Nora had built to "establish her kingdom" and Ren hanging from a stray tree with Nora's lipstick covering the poor man's face. Blake was found on Campus, stuck in a tree, which she refused to speak about and had the two swear secrecy on the matter. Weiss was also easy to find, and a funny one too. She had the words _**Ice Bitch**_ written on her forehead in permanent marker. When she asked why Jaune and Ruby were giggling when they found her, the two merely replied that she should just _warm_ up to them. Pyrrha was found in the arena, surrounded by destroyed cereal boxes and remains of the sugary breakfast in her hair.

However, Yang proved to be the most difficult to track down. No one of the gang seemed to remember much from last night, and had no idea where the blonde brawler was. Ruby rushed around the school, using her semblance to cover as much ground as possible. She couldn't find Yang anywhere. The closest thing she found was Cardin, collapsed on the floor of the gym with his crotch plate crushed. Jaune paled at the sight of this, recognizing the work of Ruby's scary older sister. The Arc feared for his sword, and not the one his ancestors used.

After hours of fruitless searching, Ruby seemed distraught. She wasn't worried about Yang, she was worried about those foolish enough to be near her when she's under a hangover.

However her thoughts were interrupted by an announcement on the school speakers.

 _Would the Leader of team RWBY report to my Office?_ Ozpin's voice rang through the halls. Ruby's mind immediately began to run through the worse case scenario. Was Yang in trouble? Did Glynda final get her wish and finally got the authority to expel Ruby from Beacon? Did Ozpin find out about Ruby's theft of the school's cookie supply last week? She was not a crook.

Finally making it up to Ozpin's office, the man himself seemed hardly different, drinking coffee from his mug and had the same mysterious smile. "Hello Ms Rose, I'm sure you and your friends had an... _interesting_ night to say" The headmaster stated as he took a sip from coffee.

"I...ummm….I"

"Do not worry Ms Rose, your sister is currently lying down recovering from a massive hangover in your dorm room. However, I must recommend you have your team avoid Glynda." Ozpin said calmly

"Why do we need to avoid Glynda?" Ruby asked

"I think its best if I just showed you what your sister did last night while following in your Uncle's footsteps" Ozpin said, getting up from his chair and pulling open the curtains of the tower. There, burned across the entire Beacon front yard, was a giant dick

* * *

"GOD DAMN IT YANG!" Taiyang shouted out with rage in the middle of his lecture on the importance of weapon maintenance. All of his students looked at him strangely.

"Oh. Um...Sorry about that class, just had a weird sneeze...don't tell your parents." He shrugged sheepishly. His thoughts wandered to his eldest daughter, and the man had a feeling Yang did something really...Yang-like.

"Alright Mr Church!" Shouted one his students, a... _special_ student named Michael who had been stuck in his class...for three years now.

Taiyang rubbed his brow, a migraine beginning to brew. "Mr Caboose, for the last time, My name is TAIYANG!"

"ALRIGHT CHURCH"  
"ARGHHHHH!"

* * *

Ozpin closed the curtain. "Now onto more important matters at hand. Beacon normally deals with this kind of wildness with a strict zero tolerance policy. However, I have a feeling that you've all learned your lesson from the hangovers your fellow students are suffering from right now."

Ruby couldn't believe what she was hearing. Not only was Yang okay (Sorta) but Ozpin was gonna keep the whole night a secret and let them off with a warning.

"ThankYouSoMuchMrOzpinYouWon'tRegretItSir!" Ruby fired off as she rocketed out of the office. Ozpin merely let out a sigh, and went back to his coffee. "Sometimes I think you're the only one who understands me" The headmaster said as he looked at his mug with tired eyes.

* * *

Jaune was glad to hear back from Ruby. Ozpin knew EVERYTHING that happened last night, including them, but agreed to secrecy as long as the leaders prevented anymore crazy drinking parties. Jaune grinned like a madman as he walked the hallways of Beacon. Nothing was gonna come back to haunt him from last night, he was sure of it. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?


	2. Chapter 1 Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news

**9 Months to Live**

 **Chapter 1: Month 1**

 **AN: Don't own RWBY. Probably would have actually wrote ice bitch on Wiess if I did. AND HOLY SHIT is this thing doing good! Thank you all out there for your support. All your reviews have been positive, and very helpful. Thank you all so much for your support. Now onto the Jaune Arc torture...I mean plot...yeah….**

 **plot…**

* * *

Even after one month, things still hadn't quite returned the same with the teams. Yang was now known campus wide for having a bigger dick than the entire male population on campus, and if you looked closely at Weiss's forehead, you could still see the words _**ICE BITCH**_ written in all caps. The real humor came to the fact that she didn't realize till a day later. Beacon had to have all its windows repaired that day. However, with enough awkward silence, things quickly began to flow between the teams again. Ruby and Jaune however, seemed even more awkward and weird around one another. Both played it off as leader stuff, and that seemed to sate the curiosity of the gang. Still, Jaune began to worry he had ruined his relationship with his first real friend he met at Beacon. It was still a mystery how it led to... _that,_ but it happened, and both were feeling really, really, awkward about the whole thing. Jaune let out a groan as he slammed his head against his desk. _Oh well, enough thinking over my fucked up friendship, might as well get back to to Oobleck's assignment. Now if only I could read past his chicken scratch and coffee stains on the paper…_

Ruby Rose on the other hand, was struggling to keep up in the training room. She was sparring against Weiss, and while she normally found the method of exercise to be a great way to relieve stress (and pent up rage from the Ice Queen "criticisms") , she found herself panting hard after the first round. Ruby usual could go for all day, swinging Crescent Rose with an ease paralleled by few. But now, she found herself panting, the scythe seeming to weigh down. Even Weiss seemed to notice something off, Ending the match.

"What gives Ruby?" The Heiress questioned her "You never do this poorly. Not as good as me, a Schnee, but not...Jaune level of bad"

* * *

Jaune beamed with pride. He had finally finished that damn assignment on the history and uses of coffee. Suddenly, Jaune sneezed all over his homework, causing mucus to fly all over the paper, ruining it.

"OH COME ON!" He groaned as Ren nearly stood by and watched as the Arc attempt to save what little he could of his assignment.

* * *

"But in all seriousness, I'm concerned for you Ruby. You've seemed to be more tired all week, and have began to worry us all. You are our leader and...Ruby? Ruby? RUBY!" Weiss shouted as she saw the rose haired girl began to snore, dozing off in clear boredom.

"Ehh...But I don't wanna go to school Yang...I wanna stay home and eat cookies and play with my precious Rose…" Ruby mumbled as Weiss shook her awake.

"Look you dolt! My reputation is riding on you!" She ranted on the poor girl. "I'm fed up of you being so off! I'm forcing you to go to the school nurse!"

Ruby froze in place. "N..n...nurse? I'm fine, I don't need to go to the nurse..." Ruby looked at Weiss, fear filling the silver eyes, giving her the strongest puppy pout she could muster. However, the puppy pout froze to death in the cold depths of Weiss's heart, and she grabbed Ruby by the hood and dragged her off to the nurse's office, the poor Reaper begging for mercy and help form any. Unfortunately, the student body was still in fear of the Heiress, as seen from the last person who made fun of her forehead. Poor Tucker had been stuck in a block of ice for days now.

The partners made it to the Beacon Sick Bay, a large room filled with beds and medical equipment, and rather... _interesting_ choice of medical tools. Rows of bone saws, bloodied scalpels, and oversized syringes were mounted on the wall, making any sane person try to stay as healthy as possible. The man in charge, a nurse just named Doc, walked up to them.

"How may I help you to ladies today?" Doc said kindly to the huntresses in training.

"I'm here to drop off my partner to be examined. She's been more useless than before lately." Weiss said as Ruby tried to escape the room, but failed as Weiss grabbed her by the hood again. Doc looked closely at Ruby. Other than an above usual hyperness of a patient, Doc hardly saw any problem. Readjusting his glasses and purple lab coat, Doc looked at the Schnee  
"I don't see anything wrong." The nurse said simply.

"Well, look harder!" Weiss ordered to the poor employee. Doc merely shrugged, and went to his office to get a tool.

He came back with a weird looking gun, that appeared to have green sparks flying from the barrel. Doc pointed the device at Ruby, causing her to jump up into Weiss's arms.

"Save me Weiss!" The Reaper pouted to the Heiress. Weiss responded by dropping her on the floor, causing Ruby to land on her butt.

"Owee!" Ruby yelped.

"There, she's injured. Now do something. I need to go make sure the rest of this trainwreck of a team is staying on track. We still got to complete Oobleck's homework on the history of coffee. I heard it's nearly impossible finish if you had to redo it or if you put it off till today." Weiss said, rushing out of the room, leaving Ruby with the weird Nurse.

"Now Ms. Rose, I need you to stay still." Doc said as he aimed his gun at the leader. "I designed this to exam a patient, giving me a complete health diagnosis of the target"  
"Will it hurt?" Ruby wondered.

"Let's find out."  
"Wait, WHA-"

 _ **FLASH**_

A green light covered over the poor reaper, lighting the room with a eery glow. After a good minute, the light died down, revealing a dazed Ruby.

"Hmmm... Well, that's good" Doc said as he analyzed the barrel of his gun

"I'm healthy?" Ruby asked, eyes filled with concern

"Oh no, the gun worked."  
"SO I'M NOT HEALTHY?"

"No, you're perfectly healthy-"  
"Thank god!"

"But...this is weird…" Doc interrupted the reaper, who was just about to raid Beacon's pantry of it's cookie goodness "Ms Rose, have you… seen anyone recently?"

Ruby looked at the man strangely. "Yeah, I just saw Weiss recently-

"No, I mean...Seen any… MEN recently" Doc said trying to explain the best he could to the naive girl.

Ruby froze "Um...Well,...there...um, was..one time about a month ago…" She muttered, flushing into the color of her cape "Why do you ask?"  
"Well, Ms Rose" Doc said as he looked Ruby in the eyes "It identified you as pregnant."

* * *

Jaune Arc was having a bad day. First he had slaved HOURS on the stupid project, only to ruin by his own sneeze! HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE! Then he had to spend the rest of his day salvaging what little he had left of it. However, nothing compared to the icy cold shiver that crawled up Jaune's spine. Call it superstition, but Jaune had a feeling something really, really, really, REALLY bad just happened, something that was gonna be the end of him.


	3. Chapter 2 He wasn't ready

**Chapter 2**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own RWBY. If I did, Jaune would probably be dead. And I would also have a certain bull faunus's hide up on my wall *Grumbles***

 **AN: Holy shit! We made page one in favs of Jaune X Ruby fics! Thank you all so much for your support. Anyway to answer some questions.**

 **To answer the ever so popular, "How screwed is Jaune Ar?" Well, think of the most awful, horrible thing you can think of.  
** **Then multiply it by cancer and inject it with whatever steroids Nora's on. That is what Yang has in store.**

" **How old is Ruby?" Well, Ruby is 18, and everyone is in their senior year at Beacon, so about in their 20s.** **Everyone (For now *Maniacal laughter*) is alive, so basically volume 3 never happened.**

 **Finally, I'll have the gender and maybe number (Jaune has seven sisters, twins have got to run in that family) up for suggestions in the reviews, but I've already decided on the names. (Summer if female, Monty if male)**

 **Now the plot, much like my gravy, thickens. Lone Wanderer out.**

* * *

Ruby stared at the nurse, her head rushing with emotions. Disbelief, fear, worry, shock, surprise.

 _Pregnant?_

"Uhm, there's got to be a problem, I can't be pregnant!" Ruby finally said, breaking the silence that filled the room for a good minute.

Doc looked at her with a with a serious look. "My machine doesn't lie… I think. The last one did insult me, and the one before the tried to infect me with an evil AI- _ **FOOLS!**_ \- sorry,bad cough. But this should have no error. You are pregnant" Doc said in a solemn tone. "I'm gonna need to contact your parent or guardian on the matter, and the father as well"  
"NO!" Ruby shouted. The last thing she needed was her dad, or worse, Yang finding out about that night. Well, now they will know...Poor Jaune. Oh god, Jaune. The poor boy was still trying to fix his and Ruby's friendship from that night, and now he was gonna be in more trouble than ever. "Look Doc, please, let me be the ones to tell them on my own time. I think it would be best if I break the news."  
Doc looked at the girl, Ruby throwing him the biggest puppy pout she could muster. Succumbing to the sheer adorkableness. He let out a sigh. "Fine, but I am at least notifying the staff of this...development." Doc replied, pulling up his scroll.

Ruby knew there was no arguing with that. Doc sent a notification out to the headmaster and Glynda, whom Ruby was sure would foam at the mouth from a number problem caused by that night. She was still finding remnants of that night, most of them caused by Yang. She even overheard the Statue of the founder of Beacon holding his platypus was covered in dick drawings, that no one could prove who caused them.

Ruby finally walked out of the hospital wing, and hopelessness hanging over her. Her dreams just hit a major road bump, and now she had to keep a huge secret from her family to keep her friend ALIVE! Well, there was one person who she could tell now, and that was the person who needed a head start the most.

* * *

Ozpin looked up from his desk, to see a notification on his table. A message from the school nurse, Something along the subject of Ruby Rose.

 _What did she do this time?_ Thought the silver haired man as he took a sip from his mug.

He opened the email, and scanned over it, until a shatter echoed across the empty room, Ozpin's mug crashing to the floor in the Headmaster's shock.

 _Pregnant?!_

Ozpin finished the rest of the message, and started massaging his temples. Is this what Glynda felt like most of the time? Ozpin let out a sigh. He knew Ms Rose wanted to handle this, but Ozpin knew she would also try to avoid telling anyone as long as possible. He decided at that at the end of the month, he would at least notify Qrow.

"Glynda?" Ozpin called out "Would you be a dear, and fix my mug? It was my favorite?"

* * *

Ruby approached the dorm to team JNPR, her heart racing. Every fiber of her being wanted nothing else but to bolt down the hallway in the other direction, but she knew she couldn't do that. Finally mustering the courage, Ruby knocked on the door. Jaune opened the door, his hair tangled in all sorts of directions.

"Oh hey Ruby, kinda busy at the moment. Nora just drank an entire thing of Maple Syrup and is currently on a sugar high-NORA PUT THAT DOWN, I NEED THAT DESK!" The young man called into his dorm, followed by a loud crash of a desk breaking and a maniacal cackle that only the hyper active ginger could do.

Jaune looked at Ruby. "So what did you want? I look like my day just opened up. Ren, you got this?"  
"No, I-"  
"Great, bye Ren!" Jaune said, bolting out the door and slamming it behind him. Letting out a sigh of relief, Jaune looked at Ruby, who was still trying to make sense of what just happened. "Sorry about that. My teammates can be a little...Overbearing. I just needed to get away for a bit. Sorry if I used you as an excuse. So what did you want to talk about Ruby?" The Arc said, turning towards Ruby as the two began to walk.

Ruby took a deep breath. Jaune couldn't take the band aid approach, so it would be best if she told him slowly. "Hey Jaune, Remember the party?"  
Jaune immediately turned red. "Well, no.. I mean, I remember what happened...I mean I do think we know what happened… What about it?" He asked, looking at Ruby. "Look, I'm sorry about that. We were both drunk, and I'm sorry about what happened. I know I'm not exactly the one you would have had… But could we just go back to how we were before? Just two socially awkward leaders?

Ruby looked at Jaune. "Nononono. I mean, I agree. The conditions weren't exactly the best, but I'm glad it was you. God forbid if it was someone else, like Cardin" Ruby shuddered. "But Jaune I have something really, really, really important to tell you. I need to know if you're ready for it"

Jaune gave her his attempt at a suave smile "Ruby, Jaune Arc is ready for anything"  
Ruby took a deep breath,

"I'm pregnant."  
 _ **Thud.**_

Ruby looked down to see Jaune, on the floor unconscious. He fainted, probably out of pure shock.

"He wasn't ready" Ruby sighed.

* * *

 **AN: Welp, Jaune better write his will. Next time, we see how the two come up with a plan**

 **Next Chapter: Brave Sir Jaune ran away!  
Jaune: Did Not!  
Lone Wanderer: Bravely, bravely ran away!  
Jaune: I didn't!  
LW: When danger reared it's golden mane, he bravely wet his pants and ran, brave, brave brave Sir Jaune**


	4. Chapter 3 What was I thinkin

**Chapter 3. What was I thinkin?**

 **Disclaimer: *Checks RWBY ownership* Nope still ain't mine. Dang. Gotta** _ **HAND**_ **it to ya Rooster Teeth. Way to end Volume 3 with a** _ **YANG.**_

 **There's a special place in hell for me. Jaune's gonna be neighbor soon**

 **AN: The reviews are beginning to resembling eulogies for Jaune Arc more and more. And holy crap, We're over 150 favs, making this my most popular fic I've done yet. Thank you all so much and keep it coming! Now to answer questions**

" **If this is the cast's senior year, why doesn't Jaune have his semblance and skills like the rest?" Well, Jaune still doesn't have his semblance yet (This is a man who unlocked his arua very late in the ball game) but he is up to the level that most of the cast was in volume 1 and 2. Unfortunately, the cast is now on near Hunter levels. So Jaune still sucks.**

 **Just a lot less.**

 **Not that it will do him any good now.**

* * *

Jaune woke up, the sun shining brightly in his eyes. The knight looked around, seeing that he was on grounds of Beacon, resting against a tree. Getting up and stretching his back, Jaune thought why he was outside. He recalled Nora breaking into the sugary maple syrup that the team had banned her from, and escaping the dorm to get some peace from the hyperactive sugar crazed ginger. He must have settled on a nap, and man did it felt good. He'd been training late for as long as he's been at Beacon, hardly ever taking a break. And it payed off too. The Arc, while still not on the level of his friends, could now easily pull his share in a hunt. He must have been really stressed, because that nightmare he had of Ruby being pregnant seemed far too realistic for his taste.

"Um Jaune…"  
He turned around, to see Ruby, looking towards the floor, looking incredibly nervous

"Oh hey Ruby. Man I just had the weirdest dream. You were there, and we were here, and-"  
"Jaune...That wasn't a dream" Ruby said quietly.

Jaune paled several shades, becoming _almost_ as pale as Weiss. Pregnant? He couldn't care for a child, hell, he could hardly care for himself! That was if he was gonna live after Ruby's family found out! Yang would literally kill him, making the whole process as painful as she could. And if even by some miracle he managed to survive Yang, he would still have to deal with her dad, whom anyone who fathered kids like Ruby and Yang was someone to be scared of, and her Uncle Qrow, who Jaune heard could kill grimm with inhuman ease _drunk._

"You can't be pregnant!" Jaune finally said "We only did it one time!"

Ruby looked at him and shrugged "Only takes one time to get pregnant" She said. However, Jaune did not respond to this. Ruby looked towards the knight

"Jaune?"

"I'm dead. This is how I die. Jaune Arc. Died age 20, killed brutally by the family of Ruby Rose." Jaune rambled out, visibly pale.

"They won't kill you...I think."

"That's reassuring!"

"We still got some time! We can work out something. We have at least till the end of the month."

Jaune looked at the red hooded girl. It was his fault she was pregnant, and his fault he even agreed to go to that party to begin with. Then again, he did recall Yang did threaten to expose his baby pictures she somehow got a hold of if he didn't go to the party, claiming that the knight needed to "Live a little on the wild side." The current situation was just proof of why Jaune never did anything crazy like parties. His mom had drilled into his head never to go to drunken parties because shit like this happens. Not that he was ever gonna tell Yang that. At this point, he would be lucky to live when the blonde brawler found out.

"Ruby, I'm sorry for getting you into this mess." Jaune said quietly. "Guess I really do screw up everything I touch."

Ruby looked at the Arc with anger, then punched him in the arm. Despite the knight's large aura reserves, the punch still hurt like a bitch.

"OW! The heck was that for!?" Jaune whined as he rubbed his arm.

"It's not your fault dummy! If anything, it's both our fault. Takes two to tango, after all. I refuse to have you put yourself down over this!" Ruby stated, huffing as she crossed her arms. "Look, I need to get going before Yang gets Weiss to start looking for me. I'll keep you updated in the meantime on a plan to keep you alive.

Jaune did a double take. He thought he had ruined this friendship to the ground, but from what Ruby just said. it was stronger than ever. She gonna do everything in her power to make sure her family didn't kill him. The thought was heartwarming to say the least for Jaune. Ruby could have easily chose the easy route, and told Yang right off the bat about what happened, who god knows what torture she would use on him. He would not like to guess, but knowing his luck, all of them.

"Hey Ruby" He called out to the red cloaked girl as she began to walk back to her dorm.

"Yeah Jaune?" She turned back.

"Thank you, for all this. I really appreciate it. If I ever live, I'm gonna try to be the best parent I can. I give my word as an Arc on that." Jaune said as Ruby reached the door back into Beacon's dorms.

Ruby didn't know what to say. The Arc's where a family who took their word very seriously, and never gave it lightly. Sure, Jaune might be a goofball compared to most of his family, but still, the statement's value did not lose it's meaning.

"Thank you Jaune." Ruby said as she raced towards Jaune and crushed him in a hug that was stronger than her small frame led people to believe. Jaune stood there awkwardly for a seconded, and hesitantly returned the hug. For a little bit, both thought things might work out for the better. However, as they broke away from the embrace, both realized that their teammates were probably beginning to wonder where their leaders went off to, and the less loose ends, the better.

"Well...Bye Jaune" Ruby said awkwardly, finally heading towards her room.

"Bye Ruby" The Arc waved as the Reaper left his sight. Jaune let out a sigh. He had a lot of work to do, and writing his last will and testament was one of them. Never hurt to be prepared, as his mother always said. The Knight left the courtyard, failing to notice the dusty old crow circling above.

* * *

Time had passed remarkably faster than both Jaune and Ruby wished it. They were approaching the deadline of Ruby's family finding out, and by god, they needed a plan, and fast. Ruby was keeping things as low key as possible, but she was beginning to fall behind in classes that required physical participation. Gym class proved to be a nightmare, being run by an old Vet everyone just called Sarge, with his robot assistant Lopez, who was permanently stuck on Spanish. Sarge had a habit of a bit...over the top. The man usually had students do one of two things. He would have them either play dodgeball, where the teams were always Red and Blue, or have them run on the track, trailing after the students with Lopez driving Sarge's jeep, while Sarge would shoot at students who were dragging behind with his shotgun. If it wasn't for Ruby semblance, Ruby was sure she would have been "Sarged". Jaune however, could not say the same, as he was currently being treated for 3rd degree burns from the shotgun blast. Ruby joked with him in private that it was "practice."

Overall, the two had finally seemed to get over that night, and if anything, their relationship had improved. Jaune was now always being nice towards Ruby, giving her cookies all the time. They did come up with some plans, but none of them they were willing to try.

Ruby let out a sigh. Homework was draining, as it was usually. Having a semblance of speed often meant being bored really easily, and homework was always a trial for the reaper. However, her scroll buzzed, breaking what little concentration Ruby had on the paper. She opened it to see a message from Ozpin.

 _They Know._

Well...shit.


	5. Chapter 4 Run Faster Than My Bullet

**Chapter 4**

 **Disclaimer: One day, I will own RWBY. And Red vs Blue. However, when I asked for the rights, all they did was call security, and then I body slammed by a luchador. So until then, It belongs to Rooster Teeth.**

 **AN: Holy crapbaskets! over 190 favs! We made the top ten of Jaune x Ruby pairings! Thank you all so much! Now onto the questions addressed in the reviews.**

 **Most people seem to be seeing the whole thing as Yang's fault. Well, we'll have that fact brought to her later. Plus, Yang can't be held responsible for the actions of two young adults, only the fact that she was the one who supplied the booze.**

 **Next up, Why not do an abortion? I feel that it would go against everything Ruby stands for. She would never take a life, much less a baby.**

 **Alright, onto more lighter terms, TO THE CHAPTER. Lone Wanderer, out! *Jumps out window***

 **Editor: Isn't this room on the 5th floor?**

* * *

Yang was having a good day. She had successfully avoided the death glare of the wicked Witch, who was still trying to find evidence that the campus's rather… _sexually immature_ problem was done by the blonde brawler. Still, while most of that night was a drunken haze to Yang, she had a blast, and _definitely_ left her mark on the school. She was gonna go down in student history as one of the greats, for both her skill in combat, and her legendary party.

Yang walked out the training room, clocking in a new best against team CRDL. A part of her would always smile at bringing the large men to tears. Stretching out her tired body, Yang sat down in the hallway and relaxed. Nothing could ruin this day in her eyes.

Her nap was interrupted by a buzz from her scroll. Huh, says it was from Professor Ozzy. Yang wondered what the headmaster could want with her. Couldn't be about her... _manly_ touch to Beacon, cause she would have heard about it months ago, and from the the Wicked Witch. Yang opened the message.

* * *

Taiyang was having a long day. Working at Signal was draining work, requiring patience the man was desperately running low on. The past two months had been long for the Hunter, having to work overtime because of an incident involving an Atlas tank and his least favorite student. Rubbing his temple, Tai let out a groan, his migraine pounding against his skull. This was almost as bad as the time he tried to give his eldest daughter her first haircut. God, he still felt aches from day. Who knew a 5 year old could throw a table? At least Tai knew Ruby wouldn't get in any trouble. She was much more tame then Yang, preferring to stay at home and do weapon maintenance rather than go to parties. Yeah his youngest was a little anti social, but in Tai's eyes, that wasn't a bad thing. He wouldn't have to worry about boys till much, much later, and at that point, he wouldn't have to care.

Tai's eyes snapped open to a buzzing coming from under the piles of paper buried underneath his desk. Letting out a groan, the teacher began to shift the papers around to find his scroll. Finally unearthing the device, Tai looked at the screen.

 _From Ozpin. Jesus, what did Yang do this time?_

* * *

Qrow stood outside a bar, holding a fist up as the door slammed on his face.

"OH YEAH, YOU'RE SERVICE SUCKS ALMOST AS BAD AS YOUR BOOZE!" The gray haired man called out as the owner flipped him off. Qrow walked away. Maybe he had gotten kicked out before he could get any real drinking in for starting a fight with some of the bar's more well known patrons. But in his eyes, they had it coming, harassing the poor girl they had with them. So maybe he did go a little overboard, but hey, it runs in the family. The past month had been one big haze for the dusty old crow. Hell, he could have sworn he'd seen his youngest niece talking with some wimpy looking guy, but hey, he was drunk, and Ruby was known for being socially awkward. It was probably just Yang, and that was far more believable considering her track record. He was still hearing Tai bitch about how she destroyed some crappy club.

Qrow felt a buzz in his pocket, and checked his scroll.

 _What do you want this time, Oz?_

* * *

"I'M DEAD, I'M DEAD, I'M SOOOOOOOOOO DEAD."

"Jaune calm down, They don't know quite yet, we still have time to follow the plan"

Ruby and Jaune stood in the middle of team RWBY's dorm, the rest of the team thankfully absent. Blake was out of town getting some new books, Weiss was meeting up with her older sister to probably kick a small animal, and Yang was beating the crap out of team CRDN. Jaune was panicking, pacing nervously across the room, with Ruby trying to calm him down. The Arc had entered a full blown panic, fearing life as he knew it would end soon. However, they were silenced by a sudden boom, sending the room shaking. It didn't sound that far from the small dorm.

"What was that?" Jaune asked, fearing the answer.

"That" Ruby paused. "Was probably Yang."  
 _ **"JAUNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"**_

"Definitely, definitely Yang."

Jaune curled up into a ball and moved to the corner. He was gonna die. Killed by Yang, then revived only to be killed by her father and uncle. Then brought back one last time for his mom to kill him. This was the end.

"Jaune get up! And put on your disguise! Sun will be waiting for you at Haven! All you have to do is make it there alive in one piece! Can't be that bad" Ruby said with a rushed tone, trying to motivate the Arc. Ruby took a deep breath. "Jaune, do you want to die in the most painful way imaginable, or do you want to get your ass up and live to see another day!?" Ruby huffed.

Jaune finally got up. "I don't have a choice in this, do I?"  
"Nope"  
"My life sucks."

* * *

Yang saw only red. She read Ozpin's note, and saw the Arc's name. He was gonna pay for touching her younger sister. No one, NO ONE, Touched her sister and lived, much less knock her up. She bolted towards the dorms, leaving a trail of beaten students in her path. Not if even the teachers dared to stop the Blonde's rampage. She tore threw JNPR's dorm, breaking through the wall, to reveal Nora drawing a near naked Ren, who only had a pink towel wrapped around his torso.

"Jaune. Where. Is He." Yang gritted out, her hair flickering behind her.

"Oh Jaune, He said he had to go meet Ruby for something, Studying I think?" Nora said, giving a grin like nothing out of the usual just happened.

"Nora I don't think this is a good idea-" Ren tried to tell her, but was cut off by the hyperactive Ginger.

"Ooo, I wander what they're studying!? Maybe they're studying Biology, or Human Anatomy!"

And at that, what little control of her rage Yang had went off the deep end, drowned, and went to hell.

She broke through the only non broken wall in the dorm, bulldozing her path to the Arc, visibly foaming at the mouth with rage.

"I think Jaune's gonna have a great time" Nora said as Yang punched a poor student who got in her way through the roof. Ren could only facepalm at the situation, and wandered what his leader could have done to piss off the Brawler to this level.

* * *

Jaune knew this wasn't gonna work. He knew this plan wasn't going to work when they came up with it a week ago, and he knew it wasn't going to work now. Unfortunately, it was the only thing they had planned that had any chance of letting him live. He scratched his lip, the fake mustache causing much discomfort. Slowly creeping down the hallway, he went to JNPR's dorm to collect the rest of his things, hoping not to be seen by anyone.

 **"HEY YOU!"**

Jaune wandered what he could have done in his past live to deserve such shitty luck. Maybe, just maybe his disguise would work. Turning around, the Arc saw a sight that nearly killed him on the spot form fear alone. Yang was standing in front of him, her hair blazing, golden flames flickering off of her mane, her eyes red with blood lust. _Please don't see through the disguise, please, please, PLEASE!_

Yang squinted her eyes, giving Jaune a hard stare, thankfully not recognizing him. "Have I seen you before?"  
Jaune stayed true to his disguise, and answered the brawler through his thick mustache.

"No, No, mi nombre es Juan Arc" Jaune replied in flawless Spanish, His sombrero covering his trademark blonde hair. Yang seemed confused, but definitely not seeing through his charade. He silently thanked his mom for forcing him to take all those classes on learning the blasted language. While she claimed that it might one day come in handy, Jaune never thought it would be used to save his life.

"Oh, you must be one of the foreign exchange students. Well, If you see a blonde punk about your height, tell me, OR ELSE" Yang said with a dark look that screamed of bloodshed if crossed. Jaune could only bring himself to nod, then bolt off in the opposite direction.

Finally making it to his dorm, Jaune was shocked to see two Yang sized holes in the walls. Ren was standing there with a dull expression, more tired because of the oncoming finals. Nora, on the other hand, was pinning a pink sloth poster over one of the holes. Jaune was glad Pyrrha was out on a tournament for the week, because the Arc was gonna have a hard time explaining himself to her.

"OOH Look Ren! A Mexican! Good, we needed some cheap labor to fix our walls!"

Jaune mentally groaned. Of course that would be Nora's first thought.

"Nora, I don't think that's an actual Hispanic." Ren stated, trying to calm the hyperactive girl down from her antics.

Jaune yanked off the sombrero and off his head and ripped off the fake mustache. "OW! No, It's me Jaune!"  
"Jaune's a mexican who's gonna fix our walls? Oh Jaune, Yang was looking for you, here, let me call her, YA-"  
Jaune quickly covered his hands over the Pink Powerhouse's mouth. "Nora! Quiet! I'm hiding from Yang! She kinda wants to kill me in the most horrible way imaginable." Jaune said in a hushed town, slowly taking his hand off Nora's mouth.

"Why would Yang try to kill you Silly?" She chirped.

Jaune let out a sigh, and looked around for anyone. He was not about to let such a huge secret be told to some eavesdropper for blackmail. He did not want to live through another round of Cardin's punching bag. Turning to the half his team, Jaune began to explain the current problem.

"Look, remember that party Yang threw 2 months ago? You know, the one with the _Special Drinks_? Well, turns out me and Ruby...KindaMaybeSleptTogetherAndNowShe'sPregnantAndHerFamilyIsGoingToEndMeInTheMostPainfulWayPossible" Jaune rambled.

Nora and Ren seemed to understand his rambling, and started at him blankly. Finally Ren broke the silence.  
"Well, Seems like you better run. But Jaune, I do have one question. What are your plans if you live to witness the baby's birth?" Ren said with a solemn expression.

This caught the Arc off guard. He had been so absorbed in coming up with a means of survival that he hadn't even thought that far. Looking back, it seemed incredibly selfish to the knight. "Geez, I...Never really thought that far...I guess I would try to be the best father I could. God, I'm such an idiot" Jaune said, slamming his head into his desk, causing the poor thing to fall apart, due to the abuse it took from Nora earlier that month.

"No, you're young. You'll come up with an answer on your own terms, for now, we need to get you packed and out of here"" Ren said, getting a bag out for the Knight.

After cramming as much belongs as he could into his pack with the help of the two, Jaune stood outside the new entry for his former dorm. "I can't thank you enough, Ren, Nora. You guys are the best teammates a guy could ask for."  
"No need to thank us Jauney boy! Just stay alive!" Nora said with her usual smile.

"That is true. It would be quiet sad if our leader went out this way. I wish you luck on your travels." Ren said as he handed Jaune a thermos. "This contains a nutritional drink that should be able to supply your body with all the nutrients it may need."

Jaune opened up the thermos a sliver and instantly gagged at the smell. "Thanks Ren" Jaune said weakly as he tried to hold his lunch.

Quickly recovering, Jaune pulled from his bag a series of letters, and handed over to them. "Almost forgot, I wrote these for the whole crew to read, kinda as to explain the current situation, but more so as a last will and testament. I need you guys to make sure everybody gets theirs." Jaune explained as Nora flipped through them.

"Thank you Jaune. Now you really must be going on your way. Your airship out of Beacon will be leaving soon. "

And with that. the Arc departed from his teammates, hope filling him.

 _Maybe I might live after all._

* * *

 _I'm gonna die._

Jaune was currently upchucking the contents of his stomach. There where many things the Arc had improved on since entering Beacon, but unfortunately his air sickness served to be one of the few things that still plagued Jaune. Go figure, he would be the first one to experience nausea in this pregnancy. Letting out a humorless chuckle, the Arc picked himself up from the bathroom, and went back to his spot. The events from the day had drained the boy, and Jaune figured a nap would do him some good. Sleeping off his air sickness might work. The Arc closed his eyes, drifting into sleep.

"Hey Kid"

Jaune lurched up, looking around. The deck was dark, the night blanketing over. Jaune must have slept through a good portion of the trip, cause it was still day when he dozed off. Looking in front of him to see who called him, Jaune saw a tall willowy man, with gray hair and appeared to be drunk, as he was constantly wobbling, and seemed unable to stand still.

"Do you know who I am?" The dusty old man rasped out. Jaune had never seen this man before in his life, but decided to handle this gently. A drunken civilian was always a hard thing to deal with. "No sir, but could you please leave me be? I was kind of in the middle of-"

The Man cut Jaune off, hushing him. "No, nononono. Here maybe this will help." The man stood to his full height, a good half foot taller than Jaune. He than reached back to pull out a rather complex looking weapon, marking himself off as a hunter. The compact blade sprang at into a sword mode, the blade gleaming silver in the shattered moon light.

"You're a hunter?" Jaune asked, a bad feeling entering his stomach.

"Closer, but no cigar Kid. Here" The Hunter said, shifting his weapon, the blade breaking apart and beginning to arc into a...no...it couldn't...

A Scythe.

"I'm Ruby's Uncle" Qrow said as the blade reflected Jaune's terrified face.

 **AN: Welp, he's fucked. See if Jaune can pull off another miracle, or just turn into a drunken memory of Qrow's.**

* * *

 **Omake: If Ruby didn't do the nasty with Jaune.**

Bakers around Vale were left confused upon seeing their shops one morning. It appeared they had been robbed, but the contents of which was stolen left them off. Rather than steal money, dust, or even some of the other valubales in the stores, the thief only seemed to take the cookies, leaving behind red rose petals.

The bakers could only scratch their heads at this, but continued work as usual, producing more cookies to make up for the loss.

Yang looked for her sister, and stopped to see Ruby standing atop a pile of cookie crumbs, the small Girl's belly visibly distended from the sheer amount of cookies.

"RUBY! How many cookies did you eat!?"  
Ruby let out a groan. "Eleven...teen..." and with that, the reaper fell into a massive food coma.


	6. Chapter 5 Take The Money and Run

**Chapter 5.**

 **Disclaimer : On the 12 day of christmas Rooster teeth gave to me  
A middle finger for asking for RWBY.**

 **AN : Damn we are just climbing! Thank you all so much for your support and keep it up! And thanks to LoverForeverNow for catching my mistake with Cardin's team. I will be getting to fixing that.  
** **Now to answer some questions.  
** **"Will Raven be in this?" Well, I haven't decided yet if Mother of the year should show up, but if you guys keep asking, then I'll see what I can do.  
** **"What happened to doctor patient confidentiality?" Well, they are still in school, and a combat school at that. Student parents and family need to be updated on life changing medical conditions. This was how I reasoned with it. So Sue me.  
** **"** **Anyone know how to play amazing grace on the bagpipes?** **I think Jaune's gonna need that**." **No, but I can get team FNKY on board for the funeral.**

 **Now you guys seem to forget. I NEED YOU GUYS VOTES ON THE PREGNANCY! Feel free to leave your vote on gender and number of babies. (Once again, 7 sisters, the Arc seed is potent.)**

 **Without further procrastination, onto the chapter!**

 **UPDATE: 6/23/2017  
And I'm back. Been meaning to do this for some time now, and why not now? Should I probably release the new chapter first? Probably. But I haven't stopped doing impulsive stupid things yet!**

* * *

Winter sat at the cafe with her sister, enjoying so much needed time off. With her career, it had become increasingly difficult to stay in contact with what little family she respects, and was nice to talk with her younger sister. The two had been catching up most of the day, catching up on lost time. To anyone else, the temperature physical dropped 30 degrees, but the sisters where just catching up in a very Schnee like way. That being nit picking at each others small mistakes. However, all pleasantry the two were having were cut off as both of their scrolls.  
"SHE'S WHAT WITH HIS!"  
"HE'S ATTACKING WHO ON WHAT!?"

Both sisters looked at one another with questioning looks. After a minute of awkward silence, Winter was the one who broke. "An old...acquaintance was seen attacking someone on a civilian ship. Command wants me to go rein hi-the person down." Winter replied coolly "Now what was your dilemma about, sister?"

Weiss gave a defeated look. There was no hiding this from her sister. The younger Schnee let out a sigh. "One of my teammates, The blonde one with that dresses very...loosely, just informed me that my partner may have just gotten herself into a problem because of some... very _annoying_ Idiot."

Both got up, and gave each other a quick sisterly hug, and went to solve the problems, heading in opposite directions.

 _Why do you always get into the biggest messes, you dolt!? And remind me to kick Jaune in the crotch. Or better yet, get Yang to do that...Yes...Mwha hahaha!_ Weiss thought as she paced towards Beacon, most likely to bail out Yang when the police finally subdued her. That is, if they managed to. If the past years had been any indication, Vale's police force was not the most efficient.

 _Damn it Qrow, you drunken bastard of a man. Just once I would like you not to make a god damn scene while I'm trying to enjoy myself. Do you know how hard it is to go through the amount of paperwork these childish acts generate?! Christ, I hope you better have a good reason for this._ Winter fumed as she made her way to her ship.

* * *

Jaune was currently running for his life. Well, as much running as being in an airship would allow. Which to say, is not nearly enough to dodge cannon fire from an angry drunk uncle. He did manage to get out of range of that the blood thirsty blade by sacrificing Ren's...thing. Whatever it was, edible was not one of them, and it did serve to slow Qrow down. But as Qrow began to corner the Blonde Arc, Jaune quickly began to see his options narrow down rapidly.

Looking towards a window, Jaune looked down to see miles of forest. They where 30 minutes away from Haven by airship, but in 30 minutes, Qrow would have his head on a pike.  
Letting out a groan, the Arc prepared to do one of the dumbest things he had ever done. Well, right next to going into combat school with no real training and his family's old sword. But hey, that worked out well, so hopefully this would to. Jaune looked down below, seeing the forests down below.

"I hate my life"

And with that, the Arc jumped out the window, his aura shielding him from the broken glass. Quickly falling towards the forest floor, Jaune tried to remember Pyrrha's lesson on landing.

* * *

 _The Two stood on near the high jump on the Beacon pool, preparing to work on landing and changing momentum when falling_

 _"Now Jaune," Pyrrha said "Today we're gonna work on landing. One of the key things to a good landing is to be able to-"_

 _Suddenly, Ruby walked in, wearing a rather... Yang-like bikini "Yang, are you sure this is only swimsuit you have?"_

 _The Blonde Brawler followed behind, wearing a similar bikini that highlighted her boo-Bad Jaune, think, landing. Listen to Pyrrha_

 _"-and that's should cover the basics" The champion finished off "You ready?"_

 _"Wait, what? NOOOO" He was cut off however as Pyrrha gave him a encouraging push off the deck, only to see the knight flail his arms uselessly and belly flop into the pool_

 _"Sorry!"_

* * *

The Arc's flashback was cut off as he landed hard on the forest floor. His aura had taken the brute of the hit, but reduced him down to dangerously low levels.

"OWW, It was be observant of your surroundings, why is it always that I forget the most important step first!" Jaune groaned as his entire body ached in protest.

Getting up, Jaune cracked his entire body. Nothing was broken, save for his pride, which had been shattered enough over the years of put through humiliating shenanigans. He still could shuttered at the many food fights caused between teams JNPR and RWBY, nearly all involving him flying through the roof at the very beginning.

Looking up to check if he was safe, Jaune froze in terror. There, falling from the ship with much more grace then him, was Qrow. That man was determined to punish the Arc. Jaune did the only thing that came naturally to him in this situation. Run. Run for the god damn hills. Who knew, maybe he could make it to Haven, that which is 50 miles away through dense, grimm infested forest. Yup, He's screwed.

Bolting with as much speed his legs could bring, Jaune ran. After what seemed like forever, Jaune finally stopped, bringing his head down, panting hard. Maybe Sarge's deadly version of exorcise helped him after all, because Jaune didn't see Qrow anywhere. The only thing he did see was a black bird circling above. Letting out a sigh, Jaune went to a stream for water, exhausted from the sprint. Looking down at the calm stream, Jaune saw reflection. Taking a sip from it, the water began to show a large black mass behind him, similar to that of a grimm. No, Jaune's luck couldn't be that bad, could it?

Unfortunately, it was. Behind Jaune was an Ursa Major, and a rather large one at that, towering over the Arc. Reaching for Corcea Mor, Jaune was shocked to see his hand come up blank. "Don't tell me I left it on the ship" Jaune groaned as he leaped out of the way of a massive paw strike.

Great, now he was stuck in the middle of a forest, low on aura, no sense of direction, no weapon, a homicidal drunk after him, and an Ursa wanting to use him as a chew toy. Seriously, did he just walk by a black cat while breaking a mirror because tripping over some salt? Actually, something like that did happen a couple months ago, but there was no cat, just Blake who stood by, watching the Arc bumble over. Oh well, Jaune hard more pressing matters, such as the giant grimm who wanted to rip his face off.

Jaune began to duck and weave through the grimm's attacks, the beast's strikes seemed slower to the Arc than the past death threats he dealt with that week. Finally seeing an opening for an attack, Jaune curled his fist. He'd seen Ren take down grimm before with his _bear_ hands. Hey, Yang might have appreciated that pun.

If only she wasn't trying to kill him.

Pulling back his fist, Jaune brought it down on the grimm's skull with all his might, his eyes closed with effort.

He opened one eye, hoping it worked.

It didn't.

The grimm, rather than be defeated by the punch, seemed unfazed, and if anything, agitated at the pathetic attempt. Raising it's claws, the Ursa prepared to end the Arc. Jaune could merely stand and look frantically around, but his attempt had left him closed in with the grimm.

"HELP, ANYONE!" Jaune called out, desperation forcing the Arc's hand.

 _SWISH_

Jaune was shocked to see that his plea worked, and he was now out of the Ursa's reach, suspended up in a tree by a familiar silver blade.

"Corcea Mor!" Jaune said, grinning "But wait, I left you on the ship, then..." Fear began to return to the Arc as realization hit him.

There standing in the clearing, was Qrow, and Jaune was now stuck in a tree by his own sword. With a flick of his wrist, the more experienced hunter reduced the dark bear to ashes in a single slash of his scythe. Dropping his stance, but not yet sheathing his weapon, the drunk man faced Jaune.

"So Jauney Boy." Qrow said, raising his blade towards the hunter in question. "I want you to explain, word for word, what happened 2 months ago, in the next 30 seconds. If I deem it right, I'll let you go. And if I don't...well Tai and Yang are gonna be _really_ disappointed they didn't get a turn." He said, planting his blade dangerously close to Jaune's crown jewels.

"EEP! Wait really?" Jaune said, his face full of hope.

"25..."

"Okay, Geez!"

* * *

Thankfully, Jaune's story had passed Qrow's check. Apparently when he first found out, he was the only one who had thought to contact Ruby first, rather than go on a death hunt for him. After Qrow got the story, THEN he went on the death hunt. Cutting the tree Jaune was stuck in clean in half, Jaune found himself free in the most overkill way.  
Pulling the tree off of him and pulling out his family blade, Jaune turned to Qrow. "Hey, why are you so mellow about this?" Jaune asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.  
Qrow looked at him. "Well to be honest, might be because I'm drunk as hell right now. Or could be that Yang and Ruby are here literally for the same reason. But eh, who knows. One last thing before I go. If that baby doesn't have a father when it's born, there will be a fate worse than death for you if you choose not to." And with that, Qrow jumped over the clearing, bolting off at speeds only a veteran hunter could have, disappearing from sight in seconds.

"Well, now that he's gone, I can finally make my way to Haven...SHIT I FORGOT TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!"

* * *

Qrow stared off blindly as Winter began bombarding him with logistics.

"-A priceless vintage airship destroyed, hundreds of angry civilian complaints, several witnesses gave reports of unprovoked violence, and intoxicated in the line of duty! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!" Winter ranted off at the the dusty crow.

"Nope" Qrow said simply. Winter stared at Qrow as hard as she could, but eventually the glare broke, her expression softening.

"You can't keep doing stuff like this Qrow."

"This was just a one time thing, Ice Queen. Now, how about we pick up where we left off last time?" Qrow said, a grin rising from his face.

"Right now? but-"

"Ssssshhhhhhh. Less talking, more naked."

* * *

Ruby was beginning to get some peace. It had been a day since Jaune had left, had Yang was nowhere to be found. This was both a good thing and a bad thing. Good because the problem of her sister was out of sight, out of mind. Unfortunately, this also meant that she had begun her Arc hunt. Ruby could only hope that her long term distraction proved to be effective. Ren's hair dye was not cheap to replace.

Letting out a yawn, the pregnant redhead stretched out on her bed. For the most part, it had been an easy day, the classes flying by. A nap in Port's, a coffee infused lesson on history with Oobleck, thankfully dodgeball with Sarge (Red team, again. Now if only the lazy freshman on her side would quite taking naps and getting Sarge mad at them) and surprisingly no sign of her teammates. Normally Ruby would be against this, but now she was glad to not have her teammates. She could not handle the lecture Weiss was going to give her, or the judging stares from Blake. She wanted to end her last year at Beacon on a good note. With Graduation just 2 months away, the deadline was approaching. She still had to decide her main plan. Before the events, it was to stay with her team and be heroes. Maybe get a boyfriend, or get enough parts to give Crescent Rose an AI program to help run some of the upgrades she been wanting to add. But alas, her future just got thrown a huge wrench thanks to that one night. It was moments like these that made Ruby truly miss her mother. Wiping a single tear from her eye, Ruby made note to visit her mother soon. It had been to long since the last time she went.

"Awh great, now I'm all emotional.." Ruby said with a low laugh. Ruby began to ponder what life would be like with her baby. Would Jaune be a good parent? Would she be a good parent? Would she be able to continue her dreams, or would Jaune be held back by her? She had to admit, the image of her and Jaune standing beside a girl with blonde hair and silver eyes was a comforting thought...

 **"RUBYYYYYYY!**

 **WHAT**

 **DID**

 **YOU DO!"**

"Oh...Hi Weiss..."

Weiss held up her message from Yang. "EXPLAIN. NOW!"

* * *

 **Omake: Blood Gulch Gym.**

Simmons and Griff ducked as a hurl of rubber balls flew past them. Running to the corner, the juniors hid in the arena. Unlike a regular school gym, Beacon had a full out arena, simulating a boxed off canyon, complete with two bases, fitting the man in charge of the gym's color spectrum. Red, and Blue. Griff fell on the floor with an audible thud, his orange aura glowing as it absorbed possible damage.

"Griff! What are you doing! The Blues could be here any second! OR worse Sarge! I don't want him to see me with someone slacking off" Simmons said frantically as he tried to get his partner up.

"Oh can it you Kiss Ass! My lungs are trying to kill me!" Griff said, refusing to get up.

"Griff, we hardly did any running!"

"Keyword running. And running requires energy. Energy that I am not willing to spare."

"I know a drink that will fill you right up! It's here in my cylinder!"

 **"NOT NOW DONUT"** Both Griff and Simmons yelled at the teammate the been ignoring.

"I DON'T SEE YOU RUNNING DIRTBAGS! BLAMOE!" The team looked p to see Sarge in the standing above them, shotgun aimed at Griff.

"IT'S ALL GRIFF'S FAULT SIR"

"OH SHUT YOU KI-OW!"


	7. Chapter 6 To the place you rest

**Chapter 6.**

 **Disclaimer: Ozpin refused to give me RWBY because I hate coffee. Not my fault I hate the stuff. I just run off sugar instead of caffeine. *Drinks an entire quart of chocolate milk* See? I drink milk!**

 **AN: Sorry for the hiatus. I was kinda on vacation at Disney World and burning the script for Frozen 2. Also if you hear a guy in a storm trooper helmet beating up a traitor at the Magic Kingdom, I had nothing to do with it and you can't prove anything! Well this is doing great! Over 270 favs.  
Now onto questions.**

 **The main one has been Pyrrha and her role. Well, read to find out, damn it!  
Next up, Most of you have requested for me to, for lack of better words, portray Weiss as less of a bitch. To be fair, she can be a total piece of work most of the time, but when shit hits the fan, Weiss is a great person to have. This is how I see her. So during this chapter, we get to see the caring side of the Schnee Heiress. Sorry if I have her being as cold as _Weiss._ Sorry, just _Schnee'd_ like a good pun. Alright, I'll stop before you folks want to bury me in a shallow grave.**

 **Now your votes!  
One: 6  
Twins (Poor Jaune): 8  
** **Triplets** **(Damn, it's gonna SUCK to be Jaune if this one wins): 6  
** **Quadruplets (Jesus Christ, Jaune will be dead on the spot): 1**

 **The overwhelming ratio of the vote of gender is 4 girls: 1 boy, and the name of the first daughter is definitely going to be Summer. For more names I guess I'll just cast out votes after the number and gender are confirmed after month 4. But till then, Keep voting!**

* * *

Weiss stood by the door, holding her scroll in Ruby's face.

"Explain. NOW"  
Ruby stared at her like a deer in headlights. What does Jaune to get out of these kind of things? Oh yeah, make it up an excuse and pray that it works.

"Um…. Spelling error?"  
Weiss gave the red hooded girl the stink eye. "Yeah right, Explain before I go find out from Ozpin himself"

Ruby sighed in defeat. She might as well tell Weiss now rather than when she was huge.

"Remember that night where Yang threw that party with the drinks? You know, the one where you got-"  
"I KNOW!" Weiss interrupted, a vein visibly showing on her forehead, the faint markings still present. This was gonna be a long day. "I mean go on"

Ruby decided to continue explaining "Well, you guys all got yourself into unquie situations. I mean, I still don't know anything about how things led to the aftermath of that night. But what you don't know is what me and Jaune did. We woke up in the same bed naked, and we could have guessed what that means."  
Weiss scowled deeply. "So you're telling me Jaune took abuse of a drunk girl for his own pleasure. That's it" She said as she brought out her rapier "I'm going with Yang to kill him."  
Ruby quickly grabbed Weiss, holding her back from leaving "Wait! That's not what happened! Jaune couldn't manipulate someone even if he had a step by step manual right in front of him!"

Weiss considered this for a moment. It was true, the Arc had shown to the Schnee time and time again he had all the charm of a mule and less of a kick than one. Weiss sadly knew that Ruby was probably telling the truth, as much as she wished she could use this to attack the boy who had been trying to use his terrible excuse of flirting on her for the past few years. Letting a out a small groan, Weiss gave up her attempt to murder the Arc.

For now that is.

"Fine Ruby. I wouldn't kill the idiot. But what is your plan? A child is a lot of work." Weiss said to Ruby, causing the Reaper lose her pouting face and change to a one of deep thought. This was the first time Ruby actually had to address this problem. For the past 2 months she've been shoving it to the back of her head, but now she couldn't help but ponder. "I guess I was gonna graduate and wing it from there. I mean, I kind of run this team, how hard can a child be to that?"  
"Ruby, you left Zwei locked in the bathroom and forgot about because it was cookie day at the cafeteria." Weiss deadpanned  
"Oh, that was just a one time thing"  
"Let's not forget the time you got lost in the mall"  
"It's not my fault they build those things like mazes! I just wanted to see the weapons on display!"

"You're avoiding my point Ruby" Weiss said firmly "You need to get a plan together. If Jaune's in it, fine, the child will have a father. But both of you two have a lot of growing up to do before you are remotely ready for a child. And this is if the dolt survives what your family wants to do to him."

Ruby let her partner's words sink in. She always knew she was a little on the immature side, often being seen as childish, but know she couldn't have that option, and neither did Jaune. They both needed to be there as mature, responsible adults in order to raise their child. Needless to say, she had a lot of work to do before, and she only had 7 months. Turning to Weiss, she looked at her with the biggest pout she could muster. "Weiss, could you help me?"  
Weiss looked at her partner. Her father would say to aboden someone who got into this kind of situation, but she was nothing like her father. She would stand by her friend, and help her through this, one way or another. However, teaching Ruby to be a parent was not a job she could do very well. She would need help, and she had a feeling Yang was going to be very busy with other matters, and probably rope Blake into it. If only someone else could help

"Um, Hello?"  
Weiss and Ruby turned to see Pyrrha standing out by their door. "There's two giant holes in my team's dorm, Jaune is missing, and when I asked Nora about this, she just grinned and said to ask you Ruby."  
Weiss grinned as Pyrrha stood with a puzzled look on her face. What better way to teach about dealing with kids than someone who basically babysits an entire team.

"Oh well, Pyrrha, you see-" Ruby started before getting cut off by Weiss.

"You see Pyrrha, Ruby and Jaune got themselves into a bit of a situation and I need your help…"  
 _This is going to be a long day_ Ruby thought as Weiss dragged the Champion into the door and slammed the door

* * *

Yang was furious beyond belief. She had finished scouring all over Beacon and found no trace of the Arc. The sneaky bastard had escaped right under her nose. But she was determined to make the bastard pay for her sister. She heard from her Uncle that he found the Arc on a airship towards Haven, and engaged in combat with him, but "lost" him in the forest and had to make an "urgent meeting for something of utmost importance. Translation; He had a booty call.

She groaned at her uncle's failure. Then again he was drunk, and he did send her a video of Jaune faceplanting into the dirt, that Yang then continued to upload said video to the internet. _Vomit Boy epic fail_ She chuckled to herself, but shook her head, focusing on her mission. She had a certain black cat to recruit to her hunt.

* * *

Taiyang was done. Not only did he have to deal with the bullshit his eldest and his students gave him, but now Ruby was pregnant! He was going to kill the boy who deflowered his precious Rose. That was, after he murdered the idiot student who was currently attempting to explain the giant hole in his classroom wall.  
"Well you see Church-"  
"TAIYANG"  
"Church, there was this bug on the wall, then some stuff happened, then some other stuff, then some stuff with guns, then some more stuff with fire, and now we have a new window to look out of! Isn't that great Church? Church"  
Taiyang's patience with Caboose had finally ran out. Ozpin could deal with this, cause as he just showed with this _lovely_ little problem with his baby girl, he deserved all the headaches that came with the special kid.  
"Yes, Michael" Tai gritted out "In fact, its so nice, that for your service, you're getting to move up to Beacon! Where I never have to see you again!"

"Yay! I get to make all new best friends! Bye classroom, Bye Church!" Caboose said as he walked out the classroom, heading god knows where.

"MY NAME IS TAI-you know what, not my problem anymore" Tai said as his face cracked into a smile "I'M FREE! CLASS DISMISSED!"

The students took no time to question their teacher's mental breakdown. They were as glad as his that Caboose was gone. Poor Johannes, or was it Jones, still was in the infirmary from last week's events.

With his class gone, Tai began to pack his travel bag, grabbing all sorts of goods. The sooner he left, the faster he could join Yang to hunt down the bastard who dared to touch his baby girl...

* * *

Jaune groaned. He had been going in what seemed like circles for hours now. Had it been anywhere else, Jaune could have used his scroll to pull up a map, but it happened that the forests surrounding Haven where infamous for the bad reception. Just his god damn luck. He hoped he could find his way out of the forest, and hopefully near Beacon. Seeing the sun set, Jaune had to force himself to accept that he was done hiking for the night. The last thing the Arc wanted to do was wind up getting himself more lost than he was in the now dark forest.

Building himself up a small fire, Jaune munched on a granola bar and began to think over his future. He and Ruby had been good friends straight from the start of Beacon, being the first one to befriend at the school. He still chuckled thinking about when he found the cloaked girl sitting in a crater. But the two over the years began to become more awkward around one another. Jaune did have an interest in Ruby, but never wanted to act on it in fear of botching up his first friendship at the school, and fear of Yang castrating him. So for the most part the two just stood by each other when left alone, both lacking the social skills to start a conversation. But after that night, the two's relationship took a complete turn. Jaune honestly found himself confused of how he felt about Ruby. He cared for her deeply, but it was different then the love he had for his team. His team was his family away from his family, Pyrrha acting like a mother figure for the team, always helping them up after each fall. But with Ruby, Jaune always felt his heart, brain, and mouth freeze up. It just confused the Arc to no end. Now throw in a baby, and it made the Arc's life a whole lot harder. What would his future be? What came to mind was him and Ruby holding a blonde haired girl with silver eyes, a child as beautiful as a rose in summer. However, Jaune's thought soon began to fog, the lull of sleep pulling him in.

Standing by a cliff, Jaune looked up to see a young woman standing by a marble tombstone, a white cloak blocking most of her face. She appeared to be paying respects to the grave. Jaune's curiosity called out to him, and he walked up to the woman. The lady turned to face him, revealing silver eyes with a motherly look and a sad smile.

"Hello Jaune." She spoke, a voice as graceful as a summer breeze.

Jaune could only look in shock "Do I know you? Who are you?"

The White cloaked stranger merely gave a simple reply "You do not. Who I am is not important. Think of me as a guardian angel of sorts..." She said, giving off a warm smile.

"So your my guardian angel? So you look out for me? Good, because let me tell you, I have A LOT of people trying to kill me right now-"

"Never said I was your's, boy" The Angel cut him off. "I watch over another, more innocent soul. I called you today because you have an important role for her. You must make a choice, and one soon. You must stay alive, and become a parent for her sake. Please, I beg you, do not let this child grow up missing a parent. I cannot curse anymore to that fate again" She said, a single tear streaking down her cheek.

Jaune looked baffled. He never thought of it that way. He needed, no he WILL, be the best parent he could. Ruby needed him, and by god, he was going to fight skin and tooth for his unborn so he would see them. "Thank you." Jaune said as he looked up at the angel, to see his vision began blur.

"One last thing, Knight of Arc. Make Ruby Rose cry, and I will haunt you in this life and the next"  
And with that, Jaune faded from the dream realm, leaving the angel alone by the grave, the moon casting a silver light upon the forest floor.

 _Ruby, your mother misses you so much_ Thought the woman as she stared out into the horizon.

* * *

Jaune woke up with a start. He looked around all over for the white cloaked woman, but saw nothing but forest. It had all been a dream. Jaune looked up to see the sun beginning to rise. Perfect timing. Packing up what little supplies he had, Jaune began again on his search for Haven.

Hours flew by and Jaune was still lost. His feet had begun to feel like it was personally trying to kill him, and he was exhausted from spending the day out in the sun. Climbing up over a clearing, Jaune lost footing on something and landed straight on his ass. Rubbing his sore butt cheek, Jaune looked up to see he slipped on a banana peel. God damn bananas, lying in the middle of the forest...wait, banana's lying around in the middle of the forest? Could it be?  
"SUN?" Jaune called out.

Sure enough, from a tree nearby, came down the monkey faunus, hanging from a branch from his blonde tail.

"Dude, Jaune! I've been looking all over for you!" Sun grinned as he went over to the Arc.

"You don't know how glad I am to see you" Jaune said as Sun helped him up. "How did you know to find me here?"

"Funny you say that" Sun said, a large smile painting his face as he pulled out his scroll. Showing it to Jaune, the Arc was shocked to see a video of him faceplanting into the forest floor. "You're famous, Jauney boy"

"God damn it Yang" Jaune cursed, slamming his hand against his head, just knowing it was the blonde brawler who uploaded it to the internet. Who else uses the username _Bumblebee69_ _?_ Oh well, at least it got Sun to find him. "Oh well, at least we aren't that far from Haven. My feet feel like they're killing me."

Sun cringed. "Actually, about that Jaune. It's not that far for me, a monkey faunus who can easily travel through thick forests. For you, we still got a day's journey."

"I hate everything." Jaune stated as he began walking towards Haven

"Awh, that's the spirit" Sun said as the two began the journey back.

* * *

 **Omake: The interview.**

Ozpin ajusted his glasses. "So Mr..Caboose. I heard you want to be in Beacon. What makes desire to be a hunter?"

"Well, there was this guy who asked me if I wanted to do become a hamster, so of course I said yes, then I joined this cool hamster school, met my best friend Church, who is my bestest friend ever, and got Freckles! He's super nice and is the best dog a man can ask for" The student said, pulling out his assault rifle

Ozpin let out a heavy groan. Not even a minute in and he already had a killer headache. And Tai put up with this for years. Taking a sip of his coffee, Ozpin continued the interview

"So Mr Caboose, Mind telling me who you think I am?"

"Are you Santa? OH MY GOD YOU'RE SANTA!"

That's it. He's done. "Glynda, care to take care of this new student for me?" Ozpin said as he got out of his chair and left the room.

Glynda walked towards the room. A student couldn't be worse than Xao Long. She was still finding dicks on everything. Just the other day Ozpin found a dick at the bottom of one of his mugs. She opened the door to see the chair on fire and the table in ruins, the student in question holding his weapon that was smoking.

"Not my fault. We all agreed it was not my fault"  
It was at that point Glynda began foaming at the mouth


	8. Chapter 7 House of the Rising Sun

**Chapter 7.**

 **Disclaimer: *Puts on assassin's creed hood, and sneaks into the room containing the rights to RWBY***

 **Lone Wanderer: Almost...almost…**

 ***A rooster comes in and bites the Lone Wanderer in the ass with a giant pair of dentures***

 **Moral of the Story: I don't own RWBY. Rooster Teeth does. Now does anybody own an ass shaped ice pack?**

 **AN: Okay, I'm doing good. Thinking of having an Omake series in this of the misadventures of Caboose at Beacon. What would you guys think of this? Anyway onto your feedback.**

 **Now a large portion have pointed out that I've kinda made everyone an asshole. Now I did not mean to do this. I do not hate any character on RWBY...correction, I hate Mercury and Adam, like most fans do now. But they'll get there appearance in this...MWHAHAHAHA!**

 **Another review pointed out that everyone seems to be against Jaune except a select few. This is not the case. The only people truly after him are Yang and Tai. To Qrow, it just** _ **Schnee's**_ **like he's a bit distracted and honestly pities Jaune.**

 **Another is Will Jaune ever catch a break. Yes. Yes he will. When is the question. And the answer, is actually now.**

 **Now for the polls.**

 **One Child: 7  
** **Twins: 17  
** **Triplets (I can see it now. A lovely stone slab; Here lies Jaune Arc. He died a not-virgin): 20  
** **Quadruplets (Oh god damn it Barb):2**

 **Welp, the triplets are in the lead, with a close tie with the twins. Keep up the voting to see your results make it in. After month 4 (Where the genders and numbers are found out) I shall began casting votes for names and if there should be a boy. One name shall be Summer for the first born, so it's up to you guys to decide the rest. Now onward to the story!**

* * *

"Come on Blakey, I need your help on this! It's of utmost importance!"

"Yang, I said it before, and I'll say it again. My name is Blake, and No"

Blake and Yang stood outside the Vale Library. Blake was having a perfectly fine day, till her partner had to show up. She was enjoying the new edition of Ninjas of Love and Yang literally burst through the wall. Not only that, she lost her library card because of Yang's little entrance, and then she went on to tell Blake Jaune had manipulated Ruby and got her pregnant. Blake knew enough to know that Yang was probably exaggerating and too mad to find the truth. Blake knew Ruby was pregnant, she could smell the shift in scents thanks to her faunus heritage, but gave her leader her privacy. After all, her team, well most of them, proved to be respectful of Blake's secrets. Ruby would tell on her own terms. Blake also knew that when Yang found out, she probably jumped to conclusions and began hunting down the poor boy. However, judging by the red dilation of Yang's eyes, Blake guessed she didn't have much a choice in the matter of joining in on Yang's "Arc Hunt". In Yang's eyes, you're either with her or against her. And Yang could hold a grudge.

"Fine, I'll help you" Blake said, regretting her choice already "But I'm gonna need to stop at the dorm and pick up my stuff if we're gonna go hunt down-"

Yang held up a black duffle "Alright got your stuff Blakey! No time to waste!"

"Wait let me check, there's still some things I might need" Blake said, opening the bag. She was shocked to find everything in it, spare close, toiletries, hell even her mature books she that she had to keep literally locked away so Ruby wouldn't read them.

"How did you get my books?" Blake asked

"Oh, I used my key." Yang said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world

"I never gave you a key…"

"I had one made. Simple as that Blakey."

After being the partner to Yang for about 4 years, one would think Blake would get used to her quirks, but still Yang would find a way to throw a curveball at the faunus. Well, so much for checking on Ruby and making sure she was okay.

"Let's just get going." Blake said, walking towards the airship station.

"That's the spirit Blakey!"

"Blake!"

* * *

"So let me get this straight. You and Jaune slept together at Yang's party, and now you're pregnant, your family is now trying to kill him, and you want me to teach you how to be a parent." Pyrrha listed off.

"That about sums it up" Ruby said, looking at the ground.

Pyrrha had to digest that for a moment. Jaune, her social awkward partner, who was more dense than a brick and virgin, had managed to sleep with Ruby Rose, the only one that carried a death sentence that would be carried out by Yang, and not only that, had knocked her up and now had flee to Haven to escape the wrath of the blonde brawler. And there was also 2 holes in her dorm that Yang made. Pyrrha rubbed her forehead. "Alright, but I don't know why you would come to me for this…"  
"Well, Yang isn't exactly a good role model, Blake is with Yang, and I can't teach her alone. I don't have the... fortitude...yes, the fortitude for such a task. No offence Ruby." Weiss listed off. "That, and you practically act as a mother for your team. You deal with Nora. You can deal with anything."  
Pyrrha really couldn't argue with that. While Jaune was a great leader on the battlefield and did care for the team, he did not do a great job at managing them. He still struggled to deal with his own problems, though he had made leaps and bounds since he first came.

"Well, I guess I'll help you Ruby" Pyrrha said "But when do you want to start?"

"Since we're kinda cut on time, now would be best" Wiess stated before Ruby could speak.

"Well, where do you want to start?"

Ruby thought for a bit. "How about were you learned how to deal with your team? You always seemed to be on top of the situation in your team, even more than Ren."

"Well, truth be told, I never did learn. It just came to me over the years. I care deeply for everyone on my team, each one is like the sibling I never had. Whenever I see one of them struggling, whether it be Nora in patience, or Jaune in training, or Ren experimenting with fitness shakes, I make it my goal to help them. I guess when you see your family in need of help, you'll just feel what you have to do" Pyrrha said, reflecting back on her teammates. "And yes, Nora can be a bit hyper, and Ren can have a lack of input, and Jaune may not be the best hunter, but they're my team, and I personally wouldn't have it any other way, and I know they would too. I guess I just filled the role of older sister because that's what this team needed."

Ruby gave what the champion said some thought. Pyrrha said she just followed her instincts, and handled each one with special care. Ruby could only hope she could be as caring as Pyrrha was, or even better, her own mother. Either way, she could hope for the best and would try to be the best mother she could be.

* * *

Jaune and Sun actually arrived at Haven in record time. The school itself was a lot like Beacon in some ways, but seemed to lack the history the other had. While Beacon's halls were covered with small imperfections from age and as of most recently, dicks, Haven had a rather new look to it. Team SSSN welcomed the Arc into their dorm with ease, Neptune already familiar with him and Sage and Scarlet just flowing with it. Unfortunately with just a month away, team SSSN had to leave the Arc to himself. Ozpin, or more accurately Glynda, would still send Jaune an online version of . Jaune used his new free time to start reading up on somethings. Team strategies, combat books, swordplay, but also books on parenting, pregnancy, and the needs of a baby. Jaune was not skilled at many things, but planning ahead was one of the few things he had a knack for. He and Ruby were two very different leaders in this aspect. Jaune liked to have a surefire plan and strategy to beat his enemies, while Ruby would usually wing it. The two were opposite sides of a coin. The child prodigy and the wannabe hunter. Both had proved there place at Beacon over the years, saving Vale from sinister plots, terrorists groups and Grimm attacks. Jaune knew that the he and Ruby would get through this in their own ways, so Jaune planned. A child would need a home, food, diapers, affection, a mother and a father. His teammates, his wonderful, caring, teammates would help him and Ruby raise it like it was their own family...wait...family...

A thought occurred to Jaune as slammed his book shut in the SSSN's room. He still had to tell his parents and siblings about this, and dear god he was not looking forward to his mother's reaction. Her last words were before he left for Beacon was "and Sweetie, if you ever knock up a girl, I'll it off." Ah, family...Plus not to mention each of his sisters, all having knowledge of his weak points, would kill him after his mother. His dad on the other hand would congratulate him and ask when was the wedding. Ah, good ol Papa Arc. Either way, He needed to tell his family soon, and it was best they found out on his terms, and not Ozpin or god forbids Yang sending them a message. Jaune decided when school was out and Yang was distracted he would take Ruby to his family and explain to them the situation. Maybe his mother could help them out after beating Jaune to near death with her frying pan. For now, he had to learn on what's best for a child when they cry in the middle of the night. Jaune had a feeling he and Ozpin were going to be very good friends. Friends of Caffeine. But for now Jaune was good.

Sun walked into the room a little later, a bored, bland expression on his face. "I hate classes! THEY'RE SO BORING! Why can't we just do something fun! Like spar!" Complained the monkey faunus as he threw his books on his bed.

"Well, we do need to study for other things in life" Jaune said, looking up from his book

"I'm pretty sure a hunter will have no use for knowing the obedience of a dog compared to a wolf! I need to stretch. Come on Jaune!"

Jaune looked up "Wait, What?"

Sun looked at Jaune with his trademark grin "We're sparring!"

A few minutes later, the two stood on opposite sides of an arena, Scarlet, Sage, and Neptune watching from the bleachers. With a buzz from the screen, Sun bolted towards the Arc. Jaune gave a quick swipe, only to have Sun jump up and flip out of his reach, an unfortunately Jaune still lacked a range weapon. Note to self; Make some sort of firearm Jaune though to himself as he raise his shield to block a kick from the agile faunus. Sun launched off Jaune's shield, and sent a volley of shots racing towards him. Rolling out of the way, Jaune began to analyze Sun's attacks and look for an opening. This was what Pyrrha found worked best for Jaune during their training, a stay on the defense till you locate the enemy's pattern and find a way to counter it. With Jaune's large aura reserves, it allowed him breathing room to spot his opponent's weak point. It was through this that Jaune had finally began to do good at the spars, till the point where he could beat most students now. Sun was a monkey faunus, so his was already very agile, and his gun nun chucks had a could ruin an enemy if he got close. There was also his semblance to take into account, the light clones. Jaune could deal with one Sun without much struggle, but more than that and he would be screwed. Grabbing a fierce grip on his sword and shield, Jaune began to block blow after blow from Sun, but he was beginning to mess up, as his aura began to decrease. He needed to find Sun's weakness and fast.

Scarlett looked at confusion at the fight. Sun was being...Sun, but there new roommate seemed to be just stalling, hiding behind his shield. "Hey, Neptune, you know this guy right? So why isn't this bloke doing anything against Sun?"

Neptune stayed looking at the fight, but did let out a response "He's trying to find a weak point. Jaune may not be good at many things, like having good looks like me, but he does pull through in the end. We'll have a good fight before this is over. This is just the warmups."

Sun began to become more and more fast with his attacks, the nun chucks spiraling like two helicopter blades near the faunus. Jaune panted, his shield arm aching from the amount of stress it was handling. Sun's tail flicked around him, an extra limb that could be used against the knight. As the nun chucks whirred past him, Jaune couldn't help but the amount of skill needed to use those things. Every time he tried to use nun chucks as a kid he would just end up getting them tangled up and hitting his face. Wait...That was it!

Jaune sprinted forward at Sun, Crocea Mor at the ready. Sun readied his nun chucks for an attack, but was surprised to see the Arc family sword stuck in between the chains.

"Surprise monkey boy" Jaune said as he twisted his blade, causing the nun chucks to fall out his hands. Sun quickly gave a upper kick, causing Jaune to stumble back, holding his jaw. Getting out of his daze, Jaune looked for his opponent. Not right, not left, not behind, then that could only mean...

"SURPIRS-" Sun hollered as he dropped down from the ceiling, a kick aimed at Jaune's face, but was caught off guard as Jaune caught the boot with a gloved hand, and used the momentum to send Sun flying across the arena.

"You give up yet?" Jaune called out, twirling Crocea Mor around for show.

"No, I'm leaving you behind"

"Wait, what-" Jaune was cut off by a solid punch from the back. Turning around, he saw several light clones of Sun, all ready to hurt him.

"Awh, Sun of a bitch.."

* * *

"Good game Jaune" Sun said as the knight in question was rubbing an ice pack against the back of his neck, where a rather large bruise was forming.

"Yeah, you two Sun." Jaune said "Just caught me off guard with the semblance."

"Yeah" The monkey faunus replied, scratching the back of his head. "Oh hey, about that, why didn't you use yours? I mean, I'm sure it would have been helpful"

Jaune swallowed his pride. He hated telling people this, but might as well "I...kinda maybe haven't unlocked my semblance yet.."

"HOW HAVE YOU LIVED THE PAST 4 YEARS!?" Sun looked at Jaune with shock "Everbody has there semblance unlocked at this point! What, next you're going to tell me you didn't have aura till you got to Beacon?"

"..."

"HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!"

"Well, I did have a great teacher, some luck, and really good friends watching my back"

Sun got up and gained a rather determined look. Like he was about to do something that gave Jaune a bad feeling. Not Yang is going to murder me feeling, but this is not going to end well for me feeling.

"Sun, what's with that look, I don't like that look"

"What look?" The Faunus replied innocently

"THAT LOOK! The one you get when you see someone just about to slip on a banana peel!"

"Why that's because, Jauney Boy, I'm going to be training you to unlock your semblance!"

* * *

 **Omake: A Million Lien But...**

"Alright Jaune" Sun said as he pulled out some drinks out and sat at the table next to rest of his team. "We'll be playing a little game we call a Million Lien But. You come up with a catch to a million lien, and see who would take it while thinking through the scenarios of life. Since you're new, I'll start.

A Million Lien but… your get a glowing dick that is as bright as the a 540 watt light bulb"

The team thought through a moment. Jaune decided no because he would end up missing every time because he couldn't aim, and of course, Sun said, yes, because he could call his dick "THE SUN". Everyone else said no. However, before they could continue, Sun felt a change in his pockets.

Pulling out his wallet, the faunus was shocked to see a million lien in there. "I'm rich!"

Jaune was suspicious of this. "Sun, you might want to check...something else..."

His question was answered when sun pulled his pants forward and was greeted by a blinding light. "THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER!"

So it seemed as though the effects of this game made it into reality somehow...

By the end of that day, Sun had used glowing dong for a many pick up lines, each one failing more than the last, Neptune had the only fire for the world from his ass, Scarlet was now the Atlas's most wanted for 24 hours once a month, Sage now had to be moved around in a baby stroller by a body builder if he wanted to go anywhere, and Jaune had an evil twin who had somehow dyed Yang's hair a rainbow shade and cut it into a Mohawk. Needless to say, Jaune did not have an evil twin anymore.


	9. Chapter 8 Time in a Bottle

**Chapter 8: Time in a Bottle**

 **Disclaimer : *Hides under a cardboard box, approach the right to RWBY, but steps on a whoopee cushion, notifying Rooster Teeth he was here, and gets shot in the ass* Wanderer? Wanderer? WANDERER!**

 **Moral of the story: Do not own RWBY. If I did I would have made the would be hit song parody, "Cold as Weiss" followed by the "House of the Rising Sun"**

 **AN: Thank you all so much for your support. We are now in the top 6 of Ruby X Jaune fics in favs, and climbing still. I thank you all so much for taking time to read this. But damn, I cannot help but feel you guys have high expectations for Jaune's semblance. Here's to hoping I get it right!**

 **Now onto your questions**

" **Will any of CFVY arrive to help at some point?" Well, I might be able to put Velvet in, but that's really all I can think of. Maybe have Caboose mistake Coco as hot chocolate? I really will just write it at as I go.**

" **What happened to Pyrrha's crush?" Well, It faded overtime to a more sisterly, motherly love. Pyrrha still loves Jaune, but as the brother she never had.**

 **And yes. I have shitty grammar. I try to go back and fix it.**

 **Also *Insert Schnee pun here***

 **Now for the votes.**

 **One Child: 7  
Twins: 21  
** **Triplets (We gather here today in honor of Jaune Miles Arc. I'm to be told that's not his middle name): 25  
** **Quadruplets (4 times the fucked):2**

 **One thing people have pointed out to me is godparents. At the rate of triplets being in the lead, each child will have their own, but I've already picked them out. Now onto the chapter**

* * *

"DODGE"  
"Wait, wha-" Jaune was cut off a Sun's boot made contact with his jaw. The two had been training for about a month now, and Jaune still hadn't made any progress towards his semblance. Sun's "training" was basically hitting Jaune and waiting till something cool happened. Jaune himself had taken up reading up on semblances, and had been greeted with the textbook definition of it.

 _A semblance is an extension of a hunter's soul. Like aura, it is unique for the person, no two semblances are the same. In some cases, people close to one another can have similar semblances, like the Schnee family,have the ability to create ice glyphs that sure for a wide range of effects, but much like a snowflake, is slightly different the the others._

This lovely bit was nice, but it didn't help at all towards unlocking his semblance The book basically described how his semblance was focusing on the things that made him unique, and letting it take for. This served to be practically useless to him, and his large aura could only take so many kicks to the face.

Jaune had during the month go over the semblances he did know. Pyrrha had her powers of polarity, Nora had her ability to absorb electricity and her monster strength, Ren had his calculating aura pulses, Ruby had inhuman speed, Snow Angel had her glyphs, Blake had her shadow decoys, and Yang had her oh so lovely hit-me-I'll-hit-you-harder. Jaune saw them with their semblances and it fitted them to the point it would be wrong to see them without it. But what did Jaune have? A shit load of aura, mediocre combat readiness, and less social skills than a sloth.

On the bright side finals were nearing up and school would be over soon. Unfortunately so would his hiding place. Jaune had been keeping an eye on the news in Vale, stories of a blonde haired woman accompanied by a black haired woman rampaging on the city's nightclubs, destroying them all one by one. One owner even said she went as far as to crush his right testicle, and still demand whereabouts of a John Angle. Close calls, but Yang was still getting closer.

Getting up and rubbing his jaw, Jaune faced towards Sun, glaring daggers at the faunus. "Was that really necessary!?"

"Yes. Completely" Sun said with a serious face, helping Jaune up. "But seriously, are you okay?"

"Only thing hurt at this point is my pride. And that, my friend, has been beaten down so many times... so...so many times"

"Oh yeah, remember that dance where you had to wear a dress? Oh man, and the next year you had to dress as Glynda-"

"Alright I get it Sun. And the theme was Halloween! I honestly thought it was scary!"

"And the year after that you dressed as a stripper. A female stripper, hell I can still find pictures of it on my scroll-"

"I GET IT SUN!"

"Alright, geezs, no need to get your _panties_ in a wad" Sun said, grinning at his joke while Jaune gave him the stink eye

"dodge." Jaune said.

"Wait wha-" Sun was cut off as Jaune punched him hard. "OW! Oh come on, that was funny and you know it!"

* * *

Ruby grunted as she tried to finish tying her corset, but was struggling to get it down to the regular adjustments. Sure enough, her stomach was beginning to show sighs, it already becoming hard and slightly rounded. To anyone who wasn't that observant thought that all the cookies where finally catching up to the young huntress. Fortunately, nobody did speak out vocally of this theory, manly in fear of the big ass scythe sniper rifle. The one student who did ended up being shot out the window, landing on Nora's pancakes, then being used in some hellish version of ping-pong. Poor Tucker needed to know to shut up.

She grunted as she finally managed to get the corset tied, but at the cost of any large breaths. Oh well, Ozpin did have her schedule changed to involve less physical activities. Unfortunately, she was going to need a new uniform soon, and she was not looking forward to that. The month had gone well for her, the lessons with Pyrrha and Wiess, mainly Pyrrha proving to be very helpful. The fellow red head had been a godsend to Ruby, helping her stay on top of her homework, making sure to keep the rumor mill from getting out of control, and had regular meetings with Ren and Nora. It did get lonely in the RWBY dorm now that Wiess and Ruby had been the only people living in it, and Wiess actually had been a better partner then usual lately. Where she would normally snap at Ruby for screwing up, she seemed much more gentle when handling it. It almost seemed Weiss had taken up on Pyrrha's advice, but Ruby feared to tell her this in fear of Weiss going back to her old ways. She was happy, but also sad that Yang, Blake, and Jaune weren't here. Every time she tried to contact her family, all she would go straight to voicemail. Ruby knew it was bad, but damn it, They need to realize it was both there fault! I mean, it's not like Jaune's parents over reacted when they found out!

...

Oh crap baskets...

They still needed to tell Jaune's parents...

"OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!" Ruby began to pace around the room, entering a full blown panic. Weiss bolted from the other side of the room, rushing to here partner

"Ruby, what is it? Is it the baby?" Weiss asked, worry in her eyes.

"No...I mean Yes...I don't know" Ruby said, distress clear

"Ruby, I need you to calm down and tell me what's wrong" Weiss stated firmly. She needed to know if she needed to rush her friend to the hospital, and someone always needed to remain calm, and since Blake wasn't here, She would have to step up.

"I... Me and Jaune I mean..."

"You and Jaune what?"

"WeKindaMaybeForgotToTellJaune'sParents"

Weiss looked at Ruby. Here she was, worried to death that Ruby had some problem physically in her pregnancy, but the only thing the bumbling leaders did was forget one of the most important steps. Letting out a sigh, Weiss looked towards Ruby "Look, I'm sure the two of you had been very busy, I mean, finales are next week, and graduation in 2. Weiss had personally planned to have her father overthrown from his position as CEO of Schnee Dust Corp, and already had most of the Board with her. Turns out faunus abuse and slave labor was REALLY bad for PR. Who knew what a little blackmail given to her from could have so much power?

She and Ruby began to head off to class. Weiss slightly envious of Ruby of missing out of gym. Mr...Sarge always seemed to put Weiss on the loser team in his favorite sport and the heiress did not enjoy it one bit. She did not like to be at the bottom of the barrel, much less a shotgun barrel. Shuddering Weiss prayed today was a running day. After all, all you had to do was run faster than the orange armored freshman who the teacher seemed to have a personal vendetta against.

Speaking of vendettas, Weiss was furious at Yang. She didn't need to be hunting the bumbling leader and dragging her poor partner with her, she needed to be here at Beacon helping Ruby. Weiss picked up her scroll. Time to bring Winter into this...

* * *

A scroll buzzed. Qrow looked up from the bed to see Winter's scroll light up, showing the mini ice queen trying to contact her.

"Who is it Qrow?" Winter asked pulling the covers over her naked form.

"No one that can't wait" The alcoholic replied, turning off the scroll

"Last time you said that it was Ironwood with a mission that was extremely important."

"Come on Ice Queen, unwind a little. It can wait" Qrow said as he begin to nibble at Winter's neck, getting a moan from the elder Schnee.

 _It probably could wait_ Winter thought as she turned off the lights, ready to start round...oh who was counting at this point?

* * *

Weiss looked at her scroll. Winter did not pick up which only happened when she was on very important missions. Oh well, she could wait, her sister was probably off saving foreign people and bringing justice in her wake. Weiss wanted to be just like her sister, calm, composed, and true to her job. Winter was the best older sister., unlike a certain blonde brawler. But hey, at least she knew for a fact Winter wasn't didn't do anything crazy with the opposite sex. Weiss shuddered at the thought

Her sister? Never.

* * *

"Come on Blake, we need to find him!" Yang said with vigor, cracking her knuckles.

"We've been searching all month, surely there are more, _sisterly,_ things we have to do than go on a manhunt?" Blake said as the two stood outside the small town outside Haven. A month they've been on the road, hitting club after club for the whereabouts of Jaune Arc, all ending with Yang exploding and beating up the bouncer, bartender, and owner all at once while Blake silently contacted Sun for checkups on the Arc, who had been trying to unlock his semblance. However, as much stalling as Blake made, Yang was making progress, and not to mention Yang's father would be joining them soon. Mr Xiao Long said he had to settle some..."unfinished business" before they could join, and dear god Blake did not want to even know. She had enough headaches with one Xiao Long, another would shave of 5 of her 9 lives. And as many subtle jabs Blake made to Yang about that she should be caring for Ruby, instead of killing the father, nothing seemed to set Yang off her murder campaign. Blake truly felt sorry for Jaune, because Yang was going to kill him when she found him when she found him. And at the rate Yang was going, it was going to be soon. She hoped that this would end soon, because god damn she wanted to just go to her precious little corner, and read her book, and Yang had made it nearly impossible to get any peace and quite.

Was it so much to ask for some quite time?

* * *

The twilight was now blanketing the day, and Jaune and Sun still continued to train, or more accurately, Sun beat the crap out of him. The day led as the same before, little results, but Sun refused to end today on a without any progress. The day left Jaune tired, beaten, bruised, and feeling down. He hadn't made any progress today, he wasn't going to make any progress tomorrow, and he sure as hell wouldn't have it unlocked by the time Yang got here. Jaune might as well just bury his own grave at this point.

"Get up" Sun said, standing over Jaune

Jaune was done "No."

"I said get up"

"What's the point? Yang will kill me anyway, I'm useless to Ruby, and I ruined her career. At this point, it would be best if I just-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence" Sun barked out, cutting Jaune off "You ruined no one's career, you're a better leader than me, and Yang won't kill you..I think.."

"Oh, that's so reassuring" Jaune said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He just wanted to be done with this.

"Look, maybe the problem with your semblance is your view of yourself. From what I can see, you still see yourself as the same wimpy kid who snuck his way into a school meant for heroes. You moved past that. You earned your place among us time and time again. You disarmed me! No one's ever done that before! You became one of the most brilliant strategist there is! Now get up, and focus your aura, imagine one of the warmest thoughts you can think of, any will do" Sun said as he held his hand out to Jaune, helping him up.

Jaune thought back. The one thing that came to mind was the end of his first year at Beacon. WBY and NPR threw a conjoined surprise party for their fearless leaders as a thank you for all their work that year. Nora and Ren made Pancakes with a side of cookies, Pyrrha and Weiss had gotten some sweet deals for some party stuff, and Yang and Blake put it all together the whole thing. It was one of the happiest moments of his life, his team, his friends, all with him. Hell he even got to spend some time alone with Ruby, thanking her personal for the advice she gave him that helped him with the whole Cardin problem. Ruby blushed at his thank you, and gave Jaune a hug, and Jaune stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. The party always had a place in his heart, regardless that in the end it got taken down because of an arm wrestling match between Yang and Nora. It was the first time he truly felt he belonged at Beacon.

Channeling his aura, Jaune led it build up, the pressure visibly making him sweat

"Now hold on to that memory. Now allow your aura to be released, it taking form!" Sun called out.

Jaune let his aura out grunting with the effort. It felt like he was trying to change the course of a river. However, he opened his eyes and was shocked to see a solid white light form around him, but fade instantly.

"I HAD IT!" Jaune cried out with joy. After a month of no results, this was a god send. White light being useful or any hint to what it was? No. But he now had a staring point. If Jaune could go from a little better than a citizen at combat to someone worthy of Beacon, he could get his semblance unlocked soon.

"Great work Jaune" Sun called out, a grin on his face. "You made the first crack in the wall. Now to move on to shattering it. Now give me all you got! We got to make sure you got that adrenaline flowing! Yang won't hold back!"

Jaune gripped his sword with new vigor. He would do this, for Ruby, for his kid.

* * *

 **Omake: The Adventures of Michael J. Caboose in Bacon...IT'S BEACON YOU IDIOT!**

Ozpin was backed into a corner with this. He couldn't get rid of Mr. Caboose, no, he tried. He just kept showing up OVER AND OVER. He tried to get a restraining order but the court had turned against him and saw it as him refusing to accept a student out of pure spite. So Ozpin now had to decide what to do. For a student this late, and this... _slow_ he was going to need a special team...or go with the tried and true method of shoving him where ever his initials allowed a cool name to form. God, he loved this job and it's sweet, caffeinated perks. Oh coffee...

Snapping his head back to focus and away for now from his love, Ozpin pulled up the chart of freshmen students. Scanning through, Ozpin saw one team of 3 who still needed a member. Alison Tex, Leonard Church, and Lavernious Tucker still needed a fourth member...Hmmm... Let's see...

ALLC...nope

CALC; who wanted to be a team named after math?

MALT: Tasty, but no. He did not want to betray his loyalty to the current team CFVY, who had successfully helped him in opening his side businesses of BeaconBucks

CLAM: ...close enough.

"Hey man, did you here? We're getting a new guy" Tucker said as Church stormed off from the shooting range, his score being...less than satisfactory.

"No, and I don't care. As long as this new guy is less annoying then you and less intimidating then Tex, I'll be fine." Church said as he slung his sniper rifle to his side.

"Dude, I don't know how you managed to get her to go to the dance with you this year. She's like, half shark, half tiger, part bear, part killer whale, part rattlesnake, and 100% pure bitch" Tucker said

However before he could continue, a black knife flew across and landed right below Tucker, dangerously close to his sword, and not the one that glowed.

"Oh haha Tex! Real funny!" Tucker said nervously as the red haired hunter came into the room.

"Nah, It would have been even more hilarious if I didn't miss" She said as she pulled the knife out and began to sharpen it. "and if you do want to know, Church got me roped into this dumb dance because 1. We where drunk as fuck from that party that bimbo blonde senior threw; and 2. I can still gut you and Church hands tied behind my back asleep"

"Oh come on, you couldn't take me, I'm a badass" Church boasted with false skill

"Oh, is that so? Why don't we test that theory in the sparring room" Tex said as she narrowed her eyes. She was not in a mood.

"Hello students"

The makeshift team was cut off to find Ozpin standing near the door to there dorm. "I'm here to bring you to our new student. Come with me"

The three followed Ozpin as he led them outside. However, Church seemed to have a bad feeling about this, a feeling he hadn't felt in years, a dreadful sense of fear of something that happened to him many years ago...But that was impossible, there was no way that idiot made it into Beacon, let alone into his own team.

Glynda stood by Caboose. Ozpin had her "watching over the student" in other words, babysitting the thick student so he wouldn't destroy anymore school property. As Glynda saw the rest of Mr Caboose's future team in the distance, she saw Caboose begin to squint.

"Is that... OH MY GOD CHURCH! IT'S ME CHURCH!" The Blue armored hunter in training hollered across the field.

 _ **BAMMM!**_

Glynda was caught off guard as she heard the familiar sound of a sniper being fired off. Who would fire a sniper this close and here? She needed to get the student to safety. "Mr Caboose, we are under fire! We need to get to cove-"

"CHURCH IT'S ME! YOUR BEST FRIEND!" Caboose said, his smile widening as he waved his hands around.

 _ **BAMM BAMM BAMMM!**_

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" The familiar voice of a Mr Leonard Church cried out across the field

"Wait, you know Mr Church?" Gylnda asked

"Yup" Caboose said with a smile "This is his special way of saying hello!"

Right when she thought Ozpin could pick no worse choice than making the obvious student who faked there way in leader, she was proved wrong.


	10. Chapter 9 Won't Back Down

**Chapter 9. Won't Back Down**

 **Disclaimer: HEY RT! CAN I OWN RWBY!  
** ***Gets hit by a toaster*  
** **I'm taking that as a maybe. Still don't own Ruby, but hey, I can dream.**

 **AN: You guys keep coming up with better ideas for Jaune's semblance than I am T_T Damn. Well, I hope you people like my idea for it. I'm going with my own that I think has been done before in the show, but not sure. I think a semblance can be taken ways, increasing a physical trait, creating clones with different effects, manipulating an external object, or just saying fuck you to logic (cough-Cinder-cough). So I've been "researching" (Looking for an excuse to binge watch all awesome fight scenes) to find one that would fit both the lore and Jaune. So hope you people are happy with it! Also would you guys be okay with me giving the poor guy a range weapon? Seriously, he's the only one in the show who doesn't have some form of a range attack. So I'm thinking a big ass revolver. It seems like a good choice, hasn't been done in the show yet, and lets face it, Jauney boy needs a weapon that he can call Jaune's weapon, not an Arc family weapon.  
Also, for the record, I imagine John Arc, Jaune's dad, looking and acting like Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist, while Ms Arc (Haven't came up with a first name) as Rapunzel from Tangled. Frying Pan included.**

 **Now one person pointed out to me that the Xiao Long family manhunt seems ridiculous, and rather pointless, and honestly thinks the whole thing is just preventing Jaune from being with Ruby and his unborn child(ren). To answer this, thank you for pointing this out. I am planning on Jaune returning to Ruby really soon, and don't worry, Yang will calm down.  
** **Eventually  
One of the main reason for the whole running away thing was 1; That's how Jaune would do it. I meant his whole escape from Beacon to be a journey for him, were he would grow and develop. Yang would also grow from this at the end, learning her flaw; her anger.  
Also, sorry for all if I've been having Jaune as a punching bag. His character is the one people can relate to most, one that's normal, has the bad moments we have, the hardships we face. In a way, Jaune's kinda like Charlie Brown, always hoping for the best even though his he values himself poorly  
**

 **Now onto the votes!**

 **One Child: 7  
Twins (Close runner up): 25  
** **Triplets (fan fav I see): 29  
** **Quadruplets (Still think I have a higher chance of voicing someone in RWBY than this does. Fingers crossed on some badass.):2  
** **Octuplets (Really people? Really?): 1  
For the sake of common sense (And Jaune) I'm limiting the number from 1-3. Because anything beyond that point is ridiculous.**

 **On a side note, I would kill for someone to draw up a proper cover for this fic. Anyone who want to try feel free to send me your try**

* * *

Jaune let light build around him, but as fast as it came, it vanished just as fast it came. He been spending the past 3 days trying to get his semblance unlocked. The good news was he was he was now actually making steps towards unlocking it, and the fights against Sun had become easier and easier to him. But he was still stuck where he was when he first got the light to show up. He knew his semblance was whitish gold, but it still lacked form. Sun had mentioned that his large reserves of aura served to make this process easier, considering most students spend an entire year in pre hunter schools like Signal training just to unlock their semblance, and the fact the Jaune was already at this stage in just a little over a month was impressive. But still, Jaune found himself pushing himself harder and harder. He needed to unlock this, he would not hold back his friends, his teammates, Ruby...

Jaune stood up straight but fell back, a sudden sense of weakness rushing over him. It felt like Cardin had hit him with the side of a bus.  
In the sky.  
Gaining back his balance, Jaune stood up, panting hard. He checked his scroll to see his aura in the red. Of course it would be, but he couldn't afford to waste time. The faster he could knock sense into Yang, the faster he could get to Ruby. Sun and him had formed a plan, and sun even borrowed some blonde hair dye for a little "decoy" he had planed. Jaune didn't question this, mostly because he feared for his health what it was, and he needed to focus on his training.

Then sun began to set, and Jaune laid down on the ground. Watching the forest slowly slip into twilight, Jaune began about what his semblance could be. He never did remember his father, John Arc, using any sort of semblance. Usually the senior Arc just punched or stabbed his way through his hunts with his giant javelin cannon, while boasting about some technique being passed in the Arc family for generations. He also thought over how each semblance reflected a person, and their desires and inner emotions. Yang was a person who was know for her fiery temper, and he heard that she had been one to perverse from loss, so it would make sense that her power would be to hit back harder. Pyrrha always wanted to make everyone happy, being an magnet for fame, but only cared for friends that cared for her for being herself, not a champion, so it would make sense that she would have powers of polarity. Jaune would get his semblance that would fit him, and him alone. Sun was helping Jaune as much as he could, but ultimately it was Jaune who could do this, and Jaune alone.

Getting up, Jaune focused his aura once again, refusing to let his own fears to get the best of him. Ozpin once said long ago that negative emotions attract Grimm, like bees to honey, bringing darkness and despair. Ozpin said that he knew of the faked transcripts, but instead of seeing a liar, he saw someone with hope to make a change and meaning with his life. Jaune gritted his teeth, for his future, no, _their future_ , he would train. Not to defend himself from Yang, but to be strong enough to defend the people he cares for.

* * *

Ozpin looked out the tower window, sipping his coffee, deep in thought. Years of peace where nice, and all actions to removed said peace had been halted thanks to his current senior year tracking down the person responsible and Qrow bringing her down. With the figurehead gone, the thief and the butcher left, and Ozpin was finally able to give the fallen maiden the rest she so valiantly earned. James was also revealed on his plans to take over Vale thanks to a helpful girl android, who claimed she was helping her friends. Ozpin felt that this had something to do with a certain red cloaked girl, but dismissed this. Gyldna was the one who had knocked James off his pedestal, and did he fall far. He was stripped of all military rank and control, and only goes out to help on grimm hunts. Peace had seemed to establish it's self in Remnant.

But something seemed off. Something seemed to gnaw at the old man, like he was missing something important. He at first just dismissed it as the paranoia of an old veteran, but now, it seemed...too peaceful. Like a calm before the storm. And the more Ozpin thought of the actions of Ms Cinder, the more he felt like he had been played. He was tired, tired of the nightmares haunting his dreams, nightmares of a sick grim version of a human mocking him for his failures and the flawed way of man, and claim that she and him were locked in some sick version of chess, with Remnant as the board. Ozpin always thought it was just a dream, but now...now he was beginning to think otherwise.

Ozpin sipped his coffee. For now, he would enjoy his peace. His hoped his legacy, his students, would be enough to defend Remnant. They where no longer the children he remembered from what seemed like yesterday. He could only hope it would be enough to change it...

"Sir, are you okay?"

Ozpin turned from his window to see Glynda, worry visible in beneath her usual stoic expression. He smiled. Glynda would always be there, despite her attitude towards his...quirks. "Yes Glynda. Just thinking" Ozpin said, dismissing the issue "On a side note, how is Mr Arc and Ms Rose? Last time I checked Mr Arc was going through a strict training regiment to unlock his semblance, and Ms Rose was preparing for finals and graduation. Also, did you get Ms Xiao Long and Ms Belladonna there finals?"

Glynda readjusted her glasses, and began to go through her list "Sun Wu Kong informed us that Jaune has made a breakthrough, but still has work to go, but at the rate of progress should have it unlocked by the end of the week."  
Ozpin nodded at this. Much like his father and mother, Mr Arc was a hard worker, and when determined on something was a force to be reckoned with.  
"Ruby Rose is in perfect health right now, and is maintaining her usual grades in her nonathletic classes, but needless to say, those have suffered. As for social wise, since you must know, the whole school is still unaware of the situation and she has her friends Weiss Schnee and Pyrrha Nikos supporting her. On a side note, she will be having her first appointment at the end of the month, checking on how the baby is developing. But-"  
Ozpin looked at Glynda "What?"

"She seems to be feeling down about the end of year dance at senior graduation." Gylnda sighed "I've seen her visibly cringe when seeing or hearing any mention."

Ozpin thought about this for a moment. He tried often not to play favorites, but Ms Rose was a special case. "Hmm...Let's see if we can get Ms Xiao Long off Jaune's trail, shall we? I think he has a very important dance to make, and must not disappoint. And Gylnda, make sure to get the man a suit. I've lost faith in his choice of formal."

Glynda looked baffled "Sir, it's agisnt regulation to take such actions, we can't-"

Ozpin looked a Glynda with his small smile "When have I ever followed the rules?"

"Fair point. I'll have him here on time" Glynda sighed "back to subject, I tried sending the test booklets to Ms Xiao Long, but all I received back was a box of ashes with shotgun shells mixed"

"I expect nothing less. Tai did the same."

* * *

Ruby was feeling down. Finals, the stupid dance, graduation, the fact she hadn't got use Crescent Rose, everything was just getting to her. Weiss refused to let her go out on hunts, mainly for the safety of the baby. It was annoying, to say the least. Ruby found herself getting more and more bored. She didn't like sitting around, she wanted to go out and make a change in the world, not be stuck studying for some final. Knocking her head against the cafeteria table, Ruby moaned, oblivious to the destruction being caused by the needless bickering of teams CLAM and another freshman team called LSDD (Not to be confused with the drug. Their leader Lopez corrected. Or she thought he did. He only spoke Spanish)

Weiss quickly broke her moping as she sat at the table, a salad on her tray, with most notably a cookie. All worries immediately left the red haired girl as she zeroed in on the baked good, attacking it with the fierceness of the monster she wore for pajamas. However, this did not get the heiress from noticing Ruby's short lived depression.

"What's wrong?" She asked to Ruby.

"Oh...nothing..." Ruby said, quickly trying to change the subject.

"Yes it it. Don't avoid. You know you can trust me with your problems, I'm your partner."

Ruby let out of groan. Of course she couldn't keep a secret. Blake made it look so easy. "I just feeling down. The end of year dance in gonna suck for me. I guess I wanted to go with Jaune, but now it sucks because he's not here, I'm stuck being alone and awkward, and I want to go to it because this is one of the last things we'll do at this school before graduating"

Weiss looked in deep though for a second before answering. "Well Ruby, I did hear this from Neptune...and they're gonna try to sneak into the dance. Vomit boy included."

Ruby immediately lit up with excitement "ThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYou!" Said she, bringing Weiss into a bear hug.

"Hey, I said try! Now let me go..." Weiss said.

With that, Ruby began to get her plan the dance. The student body planned a masquerade theme, and this would be perfect. Only one small problem. She lacked any nice dress that would really fit her at this point.

"Weiss...small problem... I don't have a-"

Weiss cut Ruby off "You honestly forgot who you have for a partner" She said, holding up a silver SchneeCard. "Now this weekend, me, you Pyrrha, and Nora, dress shopping. AND NO STOPPING TO LOOK AT WEAPONS!"

"But they look so cool! Plus all the mods I could add to my baby..."

"NO"

* * *

Jaune let out a roar as he swung Crocea Mors towards Sun. An early morning spar was going, under Sun's insistence. Jaune was beginning to think these little training matches where more for Sun's benefit then his, seeing how testing drained the usually carefree faunus. The whole point of these brawls where to get Jaune to try his semblance in combat, and use it to his advantage. However, a glowing white light did jack shit in a fight. Raising his shield to block a volley of bullets, Jaune began to focus his aura again. Letting it build up, boil, focusing on the memory...

However Sun cut Jaune off, seeing a message from his scroll. "Jaune, there's a grimm attack going on at a village. We're one of the only teams who can get there in time. You good to fight?

Jaune nodded. This was his job, or would be his job. To defend the people from the advances of grimm, and save the people from those who disturb the peace. "Yeah, I'm ready. Any aura I lost should be back when we get there. Now let's go, we've got lives to save."

Within less than a hour, the school had loaded team SSSN and Jaune into a Bullhead, sending them towards the village. Supposedly this was the most recent in a long series of grimm attacks towards small societies, cut off from most of Remnant. While most have been saved, there where still those lost to the dark creatures. Jaune vowed not to let that happen. This was his dream, to protect, to defend to...and like that his lunch gave up. Damn air sickness.

"You okay Jaune" Sun asked

Jaune stood up, a weak grin on his face. "Yeah," he answered "Just that you can't train motion sickness away. It''s a bigger problem than you think"

"So that's why it's vomit boy..."

"Oh can it"

 _We have reached our destination. Hunters, prepare for jump._ The PA system rang out, the bay door opening.

"You ready Jaune? Also remember. LAND" Sun said as he grabbed his weapons, loading rounds into them.

"That was only one time! And yeah. I'm ready" Jaune said, taking a slow run, and leaping off the ship.  
Surprising, falling was much more fun when you knew how to land. Jaune actually got what the others enjoyed. The air rushing past his face, the lightness of his body. He was soon to be a hunter, one of the champions of Remnant. Nailing the landing for a change, Jaune dug his sword, planting it firmly into a tree, slowing his decent to a halt. Looking in the horizon, Jaune saw smoke rising...Where they too late?

Team SSSN followed suit, landing near the knight. Making a sprint towards the village at speeds only a trained hunter could obtain, they arrived to be greeted with a horrid sight. The best way Jaune could describe it was that day of the breach, but much, much worse. Grimm ran rampant, tearing buildings apart in search of their hunt, people running for their lives in hopes of saving themselves. Jaune could almost feel the fear, the depression, the grimm...He would not stand for it.

The team sprung into action, dispatching grimm with ease. Jaune himself had taken himself into the fight, bringing his sword down upon beowolf upon beowolf. He had gone from taking down one Ursa barely to finally being able to hold up his part in a hunt. He would not let such creatures win.  
Sun and Neptune had teemed up, taking down a large death stalker, Sun leaping up and shooting the giant scorpion's tail, dodging it's deadly stinger, while Neptune planted a deadly blow with his trident. Sage and Scarlet were doing good on there own, the pirate and the heavy teaming up to take down a nevermore. Scarlet used his grapnel to get a a hold on the giant bird, the end of his blade wrapped tightly around the neck, and then had Sage anchor the thing to the ground., then deal the killing blow, turning the beast to dust.

The grimm slowly began to trim down in numbers as the hunters continued to dispose of the beasts. Jaune quickly went around the village, till hearing a cry of a small boy. Racing towards it, Jaune saw an Ursa cornering a boy in the woods, the child backed up, fear in his eyes. This scene seemed shook Jaune, calling him back to many, many years, to a time he almost forgot.

* * *

 _A 5 year old Jaune Arc stood outside the forest. It was a boring day to the child, so out of adventure, he began to explore the forest near the Arc Estate. He was tired of being babied by his sisters. He was just as brave as they were!_

 _Exploring further into the woods, Jaune found himself tripping on a large root, and bump his head hard against a tree as he fell from his stumble. Jaune held back tears as pain raced through him. He would not cry, he was an Arc, a hero of Remnant! However, Jaune's fear begin to grow as glowing red eyes appeared from the bushes. An Ursa Major appeared from the bush, growling. It began to approach Jaune, sensing his fear, his agony. It was going to kill the boy, brutally, and all alone._

 _Needless to say, the 5 year old erupted in tears, wailing for help._

 _But no one came._

 _The Ursa stood up, raising it's massive paw, it nearly the size of the boy himself. Jaune closed his eyes. This was all his fault. He was going to die without his daddy, his mommy, and his sisters..._

 _Jaune waited for a solid second for the attack to come, but it never did. A familiar figure stood in front of the young boy,, holding a familiar javelin that erupted with white light. Letting out a roar, the eldest Arc ripped through the grimm with ease, the beast disintegrating as the glowing blade cut through the dark bear like butter. Jaune felt his vision fade, but not before the man picked him up, giving Jaune a fierce look with his solid blue eyes._

* * *

Jaune snapped back to reality from his thoughts. This was the memory that had made him want to be a hunter, but also planted the seeds of self doubt. No child deserved to face the darkness of grimm, especially one so young. Racing towards the Ursa without thinking. Standing in front of the child, Jaune channeled his aura, and with a flash, the soul energy raced across Croceas Mor, casing it in a white glow, humming as it flowed through the ancient sword, giving it a blinding glow. The same happened with his shield, the metal shield seemed to have an ever flowing force of energy casing the metal. Jaune payed no mind to this, his mind focusing on one thing. Saving the child from the monster before it.

Jaune blocked a massive paw with his shield, the grimm's arm literally being torn to shreds by the aura coursing through the metal. Jaune gave a quick lower slice to the grimm's legs, the energy encased sword ripping through the flesh with brutal ease, crippling the Ursa and forcing down to earth. As it fell, Jaune brought his sword up, cutting the grimm's head off in one clean slice.

Sun stood in awe as he saw Jaune do this. His sword, once thought an outdated artifact not fit for a modern fight, now seemed to be as deadly extension of the knight's soul. This was Jaune's semblance. This was something that proved the Arc to be reckoned with. A literal use of his aura, effectively coating his blade and shield with aura, making them into a dangerous weapon that could cut through anything.

Jaune panted as the glow vanished from his sword. Collapsing the shield and sheathing the sword, Jaune picked up the child. The poor boy had fainted from the excitement. Making his way towards the refugee camp, the Arc called out for the boy's parents. He saw red head man and a blonde girl approach him, relief filled in their eyes. Both hugged their son as Jaune gave them the boy, and then was crushed by a hug as both parents embraced him, thanking him over and over.

Finally meeting up with team SSSN, Jaune felt exhausted. However, he saw Sun grinning like a maniac.  
"What is it Sun?"

"Oh nothing. Just waiting for you to realize." The faunus answered with a cheshire grin

"Realize what?"

"That you unlocked your semblance"

"WHAT?!"  
"Oh, we also got a dance to make at Beacon this week. Guess you do get to make your graduation Jauney Boy. And don't worry bout a date. Neptune's got that covered."

"WHAT?!"

* * *

 **Omake: Bull castration AKA; The Cycle of Vengeance is a bitch. Yang's bitch.**

Adam was having a shitty day. He'd woken up that morning to find that someone had drugged him and dyed his hair blonde. Now he was getting asked by his men why the change, and even had some saying he was never a red head to begin with, and that this was his natural color. Hell, some even said he did it because of a rumor that his beloved had a thing for blondes. His own allies seemed to just increasing his bad mood. The White Fang was now a mere shadow of what it was 3 years ago, all thanks to his love's betrayal and her meddling team of _humans!_ It sickens him to think he still had feeling for that _Traitor._

Adam went from station to station, doing an inventory check. Preparing for an incoming raid on a Schnee labor camp, he could not afford to allow weakness. The camps not only served as an example to humankind, but it also allowed Adam to gain much needed forces. He went to his planning room, looking at his map of Remnant. The White Fang might just be revived...

 **"YOUR SOUL IS MINE JAUNE ARC!"**

Adam looked around. Did he just hear that? No...it was just him. Maybe years of brutal murders of humans had finally caught up to him...

Nah.

However the bull faunus did not get to finish this thoughts, as a wild mane of blonde hair came crashing from the ceiling, tongues of fire flickering around the mass with savage rage. Before Adam could even pull out his sword, the intruder brought down her right fist, encased in a golden gauntlet, down with serious fury, carrying the momentum from her fall through the ceiling...

right down on his manhood.

The last thing Adam saw was his own blood on the floor before he passed out of the pain.

* * *

 _-And so, officials have put the wanted terrorist leader Adam Taurus in a heavily guarded hospital, currently being treated for a damage the lawmen have described as "A fate no man should live through" Any ideas of his defeat might have to do with his hair, usually a crimson shade of red, now dyed a light blonde. The only piece of evidence found by investigators of our mysterious hero was a shotgun shell and the words Adam was found muttering, "Junior was right". For now, the public has named this mystery person The Nutcracker. Next up, Presidents Schnee's bitching stache voted mustache of the year, with second being a Peter Port-_

Jaune shut off the TV, looking at Sun with horror.

"THIS WAS YOU DISTRACTION!?" Jaune asked the monkey faunus who had on a solid poker face. "HOW COULD YOU CONDEMN SOMEONE TO THAT?"

Sun looked at Jaune with a serious look "Eliminating the competition my friend. All's fair in love and war." and with that, Sun fastened a tie loosely around his neck. "Now if you mind me, I have a rendezvous to make with a certain pretty little kitty"

Jaune could merely just stand there slack jawed as Sun went out the door. And he though his love life was fucked up. At least it was a criminal. Plus, while Jaune had never met the man before, he did have the strange urge to cut off his arm. His methods just went against everything Jaune believed.

Oh well, back to bing watching Xray and Vav on Schneeflicks. Maybe he could get some Schneeflicks and Chill later with Ruby after this was done. Ah Yeah.

* * *

Yang stood on the rooftop, getting a shiver down her spine "My sisterly sense is tingling. Someone just implied they wanted to do something with Ruby"

Blake looked at Yang with a bored expression "And you would know this how?"

"I'm just that good. But the good news is Ruby isn't doing anything because her mircochi-I mean I just have a feeling. Because I am the night-"

"No"

"I am the law-"

"You are not doing this"

"I am-" Yang paused dramatically as lighting flashed behind her "THE NUTCRACKER"

"Yang no"

"Yang yes. Now put on this suit, Cat woman!" Yang said, holding the "costume"

"Yang there is no way I'm wearing that. I've see clothes in your wardrobe that are less revealing than that." Blake deadpanned. There was no way she was going to agree to this, no way on Remnant-

"Oh well guess I have to save that all you can eat sushi buffet to myself. Pity the Nutcracker's feline sidekick couldn't show up with her"

Eh, screw her pride, she wanted that fish. Guess she would have to inform Sun of her change of plans.


	11. Chapter 10 Bullet hits the Bone

**Chapter 10. When the Bullet hits the bone.**

 **Disclaimer:** **I shall win the rights to RWBY in a game of Mortal Kombat!  
** ***1 Hour Later* Anyone know how to stitch a heart back the chest cavity? Because I still don't own RWBY.**

 **AN: Man, I can say with a happy heart this is my most successful fic, both fulfilling it's purpose by making the fandom laugh their asses off after the end of volume 3, and being the most popular and well received piece I wrote. From the day I write this, 9 Months to Live stands at a solid 350 favs, making it be ranked number 5 in the Lancaster fics, and I thank each and every one of you. Every like, every review, every follow, means the world to me. I hope I can give you the best story I can.  
Also, can you tell I just saw Batman V Superman? You will see more of Nutcracker and Catwoman in the omakes, fighting their villain, the ARChenemy (name courtesy of pokewarrior. How did I miss that pun? And I call myself the Pun King, not to be confused with the Mad or Podcast Kings...)  
Also bonus points to those who figured out that most of the chapter names are classic rock names and lyrics**

 **Now onto questions.  
** **"Does Yang have a robot arm in this AU?" No. All shit that went down in volume 3 basically never happened. Qrow was sent in like Seal Team 6 and took Cinder out before she could unleash hell, so no. Sorry if I've been making it seem like that.**

 **One Child: 8  
** **Twins (making a comeback): 31  
** **Triplets (Once again, you guys got me kinda rooting for this one.): 36 (error, sorry)**

 **Welp, You peeps definitely want more than one. Poor Jaune and Ruby. But seriously, some cover art would be amazing!**

* * *

Shopping. If there was anything Ruby had a love hate relationship with, it was that. For years, she had been dragged by Yang from store to store, and having to wait while she tried clothes after clothes, item after item. The only reason she ever went was because Yang promised to take her to the weapon store afterwards, and more times than not that visits lasted less than Yang's stores. But dress shopping was a completely new concept to the huntress. Ruby usually depended on her trusty combat skirt and corset combo, and maybe the change with her street clothes, but otherwise she had not changed her style once since entering Beacon. She could only hope the presence of Weiss and Pyrrha made this better.

Speaking of the two, they had somehow managed to get one of Vale's most well known fashion designers, a student at Beacon called Donut, who was known for his rather... _interesting_ "lightish red" choice of clothing and countless double entendres, which he seemed to be oblivious towards. Despite being just a mere freshman at Beacon, the young man had already made himself quite famous in the world of fashion, leading most to believe that there was something was something other than clothes in his closet. He normally refused any student requests for fashion, but even he could not refuse the requests of a world renown fighter and the heiress to the biggest company in the world.

So here she was, being poked around with a needle, while Donut took her measurements, and Ruby was really beginning to regret letting Weiss convince her to leave behind Crescent Rose. He was really starting to get on her nerves with all his comments.

"Combat skirts were soooo last year"  
"Black with red frills, that's so garish!"  
"Capes are completely out of style"  
"Needs more color! A nice lightish red!"

One quick slice to the neck artery from her baby and she would be done. Maybe a couple dust rounds for good measure. But nooooo, she had to leave the giant collapsible bolt action sniper rifle scythe at school, and go to the mall like a normal person. Screw normal knees, she wanted her baby! Well not her actually baby, the giant scythe...oh boy this was going to be a long day

Finally getting her dress on, Ruby was shocked by her reflection in the mirror. Ruby for a second saw her mother, in all her beauty, standing in a dark red dress with black lace trimming off of it, followed by Ruby's familiar red cloak, adding to wonder of it. Ruby began to tear up.

"It's...perfect..." She muttered out

"Well of course it is! My name is Franklin Delanor Donut!" chirped the designer as he went towards Weiss and Pyrrha. The two had been very happy with the outcome of Ruby's dress, and selected a red and black mask for her to wear to the dance. Now if only the dunce would get his part right and show up not in a dress.

Again

for the 4th year in a row.

Jaune really needed to stop making the same bet every year with Yang

* * *

Jaune was having a hard time trying to keep his cool. Yeah, having his semblance was. pretty cool, and now he had an _edge_ against Yang (heh, Yang wasn't trying to kill him she would say Jaune was on fire instead of wanting to set him on fire). The information dump Sun laid on him had him stressed as all hell, and with finals testing going, to say the Arc was under pressure was the understatement of the year. He was still worried to death about the combat segment of the Beacon final exam. He was utterly screw, and his fights with Sun had proven that Jaune needed a firearm. Desperately.

Jaune knew his best option would be to craft such weapon. Croceas Mor was to precious to be altered by the bumbling knight. Knowing his luck, Jaune would end up running the blade forever rather than upgrading it. At this point, the old sword was an extension of Jaune, one he wouldn't change for anything. As Ruby said all those years ago, _It's nice to have someone appreciate the classics._ So Jaune began to look into gun designs and models from the Haven Library, and pulled up the necessary supplies and costs for said weapon.

After hours of research, Jaune did have a basic concept of what he had in mind. He knew it would be best for him if he had a small gun, something to big would weigh him down, so he went for his own design made from various other blueprints for a powerful double barrel revolver. He made it in hopes of it being able to fire a multiple dust rounds at once for different effects. The chamber was designed so that it could handle both, while the gun itself had two triggers, one for each barrel. He got the idea for a special dust chamber from Weiss. As much as the Ice Queen was cold to the Arc, Jaune could not help but feel that at times they shared the same role for their teams. Nora and Yang being the heavy hitters, Blake and Ren being the tactical fighter, Ruby and Pyrrha being the special finisher, and him and Weiss as support. He hoped this weapon combined with his new semblance would be enough. His only regret was that he didn't do this with Ruby. She was always a bit of a gun nut, and would probably have laid out the makings of a laser cannon that also functioned as a cookie dispenser if given the chance. But Jaune did not have the opportunity, and this was something he had to figure out on his own. As she said, students had to make their own weapons. Getting Ruby to help would be cheating in his eyes.

Picking up his designs, Jaune made his way down to the Haven forge. He honestly didn't know what to expect of the forge, having only been to the one at Beacon vary few times. Great thing about a regular sword is that you never really have to worry about the barrels clogging or the hammer being delayed, and the few times he did go it was with his teammates to help them get their weapons repaired. The Beacon forge was a small facility, that students could use on their own, but had to bring their own materials and run it by the forge master, a rather young man named Washington, who was hired just recently into Beacon after leaving his old job on a bad note. Washington always made sure that each student cared for their weapons, and did not hesitate to punish those who didn't. Jaune never had to deal with Washington's fury, but hoped maybe the Haven forge master was more...helpful than Washington.

Jaune entered the forge, and barely had time to react as a sharp blade of metal went flying with deadly velocity just over his head, trimming a few hairs off. The startled knight looked towards the direction of the projectile to see a purple haired woman holding the making of some sort of firearm that was smoking from use.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU SHOOT AT ME!?" Jaune yelled at the purple haired woman

"Why the hell did you just barge in here!?" The woman retorted with annoyance clear.

Jaune gritted his teeth. This woman looked the same age as him, maybe younger, and was already bossing him around as if he was nobody. "I came here to see the Smith about helping me work on making a weapon! Where can I find him?"

" _She_ is right in front of you. Blacksmith Hilda Indigo at your service." Hilda said as Jaune visibly cringed "Oh don't sweat it. You aren't the first, nor will you be the last to make that mistake.

"Oh thank god. I am so sorry. I was just expecting someone more... _blacksmithy"_

"Let me guess, you where expecting a big man with arms the size of steel girders and a beard that seemed to be covered in singed hairs?"

"Pretty much."

"Welp, you want a weapon do you? Show me the designs."

Jaune quickly pulled out the blueprints, fumbling through his bag and showing her the crumbled paper. "Here you go Ms Hilda"

The Forgemaster looked over the designs, a mild look of interest crossing her face. "Hmmmm...A double barrel.." She muttered, thinking the idea through and continued to think over it. "The main design is pretty solid, but still needs some revisions. But might I ask, why the choice in a double barreled revolver? A revolver is a weapon that is infamous for it's reload time, and making it double barreled just makes it even more tedious."

"Well, I have a friend of mine who's kind of a dust pro. She uses a wide variety of dust fir different effects, and her weapon uses dust in a revolver like chamber, so I thought that allowing a second barrel to the gun would allow for more dust combinations, and by doing so give me a whole new range of effect in a battle." Jaune explained.

"I give you props, the concept is interesting and would definitely help you in a fight, and would already be more useful than that old artifact"

"Hey! There is nothing wrong with my sword! It's been serving my family for generations!"

"I can tell." Hilda retorted. "Anyway, pick up that hammer and put on that apron hanging on the wall, boy."

"What? Why?" Jaune questioned her.

"You think I'M going to build YOUR weapon?" Hilda scoffed "No. All students build their weapons. Not design and give them to the smith and expect them to magically conjure it out of thin air. My Job is to assist you in building it, not do the entire thing. So start the fire Blondie"

Jaune groaned. Oh well, at least it wasn't that bad. Jaune looked towards the furnace, and saw the dial. It was on a low temperature. Jaune thought that it must be similar to cooking, and there was no way a temperature that took 10 minutes to boil water would make due for melting dust enforced steel. Turning the dial to it's max, Jaune was shot back as a column of fire shot from the furnace.

"YOU IDIOT IT'S MADE FOR FORGING! YOU HAVE IT TOO HOT!" Hilda screamed over the flames as Jaune quickly turned it down.

"Sorry Ms Hilda" Jaune said, facing the ground, his body covered in ashes.

"This...is going to be a long day..."

* * *

Jaune wiped the sweat from his brow. Forging was a lot more work than he thought. The process was tedious to say the least. Several times he had slammed the hammer onto his fingers, singed himself, and cut himself on the metal. Hilda would always make sure he was doing the right thing and chew him out if she saw him lazing around. But now he finally got to rest, as the metal was in the last stage of being prepared to be shaped into the components needed for his gun.

Taking a seat next to Hilda, Jaune began to wait in awkward silence. After several minutes Jaune finally broke it. "So..." He began "What made you choose to be a smith for a combat school? Not really something I would have saw myself going for as a kid."

"Well truth be told, I never really thought I would be a blacksmith. Personally, I wanted to be an inventor, but the Schnee Dust Co. just seemed to not care for the things I made or wanted to abuse them for things other than their original purpose. So I quite and took a job as the Forgemaster at Haven. Might as well see it that the hunters of tomorrow have the tech to save the day" Hilda said, taking a sip from her bottle of water she pulled out from her fridge. "What about you Blondie? What brings you to Haven? Last time I checked, only student named Jaune Arc went to Beacon, not Haven."

Jaune scratched his head. Oh boy "Long story...a long, long, long, **LONG** story"

"We got time. I told my life story and helping you build a weapon to save your ass. The least you can do is tell me yours"

Jaune sighed with defeat "Alright, but I warned you. You see, about 2 and a half months ago..."

* * *

Jaune had left the forge covered in burns, bruises, and cuts. Turns out forging was a lot more difficult than he thought. He had been hit by the flames, hit himself with the hammer, and cut himself with the metal more time than he thought. His new weapon would be completed in the morning, as all the parts where made, just needed to be put together overnight. For now, Jaune would get some sleep. Tomorrow's problem.

However, Jaune's thoughts seemed to be more on Ms Hilda's words towards Jaune after he finished his story. The purple haired woman had completely stayed calm the whole time he told his tale, keeping a poker face the entire time. However, Jaune was shocked at what she said to him when he finished.

 _"-and that's why I'm here in Haven" Jaune explained. He looked at Hilda to see her deep in thought. "Hilda?"_

 _"Well," Hilda finally said. "That's quite the tale you got. My honestly, it's not your fault. If anything, it's the sister."  
_

 _"What? How is it Yang's fault?"_

 _"Did she ever stop to consider that the whole reason you didn't want to go to that party was because of situations like the one you're in now? And instead of helping her sister through the pregnancy, she goes on a death hunt for the child's father, rather than hearing him out first. I personal would have probably slugged you, but not to go as far as manslaughter. You need to talk some sense into her the moment you meet her. A person like that is stubborn to the end, so expect a fight."  
_

 _Jaune stood at shock. Every point Hilda made was true. Yang's rage got the best of her. Did Jaune deserve a punch to the face for the whole thing with Ruby? Probably. But Yang had taken it to a whole new level. Jaune needed to get Yang to reason...but how?_

Jaune began to plan things through, jotting down ideas in his binder, till Sun came in and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up from his desk.

"What gives Sun? I'm busy!"

The monkey faunus gave a grin "We're going tux shopping Jauney Boy! Ozpin's orders! Quote on quote, _"I wish Mr Arc to come to this dance in something more formal and masculine than a dress"_ ".

"OH COME ON! Even I have the common sense to show up to this in a tux!"

"I recall you saying that last year, and the year before."

"That was because I lost a bet!"

"Dude, remind me to never to you to Las Valegas. You are horrible at gambling"

Jaune facepalmed. "Alright you win! Let's just go already!"

Several hours later and much browsing and little shopping, the Arc came out with a black tux with red trims, and a dark red tie to match, with gold cuff links. Sun made sure that Jaune had everything ready, and double checked him to make sure had everything ready for the dance in two days. Getting Jaune a white mask with blue and gold markings, Sun finally had faith that his friend won't mess this up. Point for the Monkey Wingman!

* * *

 **Omake: Fabric of Reality got spilled on by Caboose**

Church was done. He had left Caboose alone in order to get some private time, and was now in the middle of the forest, pissed beyond belief. He was not lost! He just...wanted to view that tree he'd passed four times now some more. He was just so ticked about Caboose being on his team. He enjoyed the years of peace he had gotten away from the dumb ass, and now he was forced to live with the idiot! WHO IS RUNNING THIS SCHOOL!?

Church however found himself stuck in a clearing. He looked around to see a tall blonde man, with a solid tan and scruff around his face. The man also seemed to be as lost as he was... _I mean as he seems lost_ Church mentally corrected himself. Church walked up to the stranger, hoping he could get some directions out of him.

"Hey! You! Do you know how to get to Beacon?" The colbalt teen asked.

"No, I'm standing in the middle of the forest because I soooo know the directions!" The man snarked an a voice that sounded freakishly like Church's.

"Hey, quite impersonating me!" Church said with conviction. The last thing he needed was some jackass talking like him.

"No, you are clearly mistaken, I'm not impersonating you, you're impersonating me!" The man countered, visibly annoyed

"There can only be one Leonard Church, and he's right here!"

The man stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes growing in shock "Did you just say...your name was Church?" He said with a stressed tone

"Yeah, and don't forget it asshole"

"You wouldn't happen to know someone named Caboose by any chance?"

Church's face visibly darkened "The dumbass has been following me for years! I had some alone time away from him, because he got held back, but now he's in my team, and it's hell! How the hell do you know him!"

"I'm the teacher that's been stuck with him for all those years! Do you know what it's like to have someone call you Church and claim your his best friend! And the countless amount of injuries and destruction of property he caused by accident!" Tai ranted.

However, both where cut off mid rant by a sudden burst of electricity appeared in the middle of the clearing. The energy began to form into some portal, and out of it emerged a large man, covered in head to toe in some high tech cobalt blue armor. The man got up, cursing a lot about some damn future cubes, and noticed the two standing in front of him,

"The fuck are you looking at?" The armored man snarked, his voice nearly identical to Tai's and Church's.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Church asked

The man stood up straight, pulling out a long sniper rifle, but the weapon itself was weird, it seemed to have no blade on it. "Who the fuck am I, I'm Leonard Church, that's who! Who the fuck are you!?

"I'm Leonard Church, you fucking fake!" The hunter in training shouted, pulling out his sniper rifle.

"Look guys, lets calm down. Let's just sort this all out..." Tai said, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Hey, quite impersonating me! It's already bad enough this asshat claims to be me, now you got to sound like me!?" The Armored Church growled, poking Tai in the chest.

"Now look here, I'm impersonating no one, you dumbass" Tai said, getting his gauntlets ready

However, the fight brewing was cut off by the portal, which spat out several other cobalt armored soldiers, one yellow armored one, a glowing mini version of them, a weird orb thing, and a man in a weird looking jumpsuit with glasses.

Church, Church, and Tai all looked at the dog pile of cobalt "Who the fuck are you guys!?"

"WE'RE LEONARD CHURCH DICKWAD" shouted almost all the pile, with the exception of the man with the glasses, who stood up and look straight at them

"I'm Director Leonard Church of Project Freelancer."

"OH MY GOD WHO CARES" shouted every Church and Tai.

Tai groaned. This was one massive headache he didn't need. But at least it wasn't going to get any worse.

* * *

Burnie Burns was having an okay day at the office. He still had to remember to kill Gus and Gavin, get Geoff to get his ass moving on achievement hunter, and to get Brain to quite running around laughing manically about the Mad king, test some new Immersion ideas on his lab rats, and he still needed to get Barb to quite making so many god damn puns! Every pun felt like an assault on his soul, and he could only take so much bullshit.

Moving on with his schedule, Burnie went to check on the the RWBY production. He hoped the fans would like the Chibee plan. But hey, if not, Aprils fools fuckers! Laughing to himself, Burnie walked around the studio, but nearly tripped over a cord.

"Fucking Miles. I have to clean up everything around here" The Texas man mumbled under his breath as he picked up the cord for the camera, failing to see the label _Dimensional Immersion Camera by Microsoft_ on the camera. Burnie plugged it in, and was immediately covered in a strange light by the camera. The next thing Burnie knew, he was in the middle of a forest, surrounded by cobalt Spartans,the Director, Ruby's dad, and some hunter with a sniper rifle.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU" The hoard asked the man, all in his voice.

"I'm Burnie Burns! What the fuck is this shit all about?"

But the man never got his answer, as a loud _CHURCH_ rang over the clearing, and everyone visibly cringed. A blue hunter with a happy expression entered the clearing, and his eyes lit up like a child on Christmas.

"THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER CHURCHES! WE WILL ALL BE BEST FRIENDS"

"NO GOD PLEASE NO! ANYTHING BUT THIS!"

"This is it. I've gone to hell and this is my eternal punishment" Burnie said as chaos broke loose


	12. Chapter 11 Heartache Tonight

**Chapter 11: Heartache Tonight.**

 **Disclaimer: *Goes to RT with a Mexican mustache* Hello, my name is Lone Juanderer.  
** ***Comes back an hour later* Damn, they saw through my brilliant charade. Don't own RWBY.**

 **AN: Okay, One thing has been pointed out to me. For a Lancaster Fic, I really have kinda been not delivering on the main shipping in this. That's because truth be told, I'm as socially awkward as Jaune Arc in real life. But I can promise you that I will take this into consideration. Now that Jaune is being snuck back into Beacon, he and Ruby now can actually have a relationship…now for Yang and Tai…well…let's just say shit is going to hit the fan in this chapter.**

 **Now onto the votes!**

 **One: 8  
** **Twins: 33  
** **Triplets: 38**

 **and on a side note, GRIFAbyte101: DAMN IT GRIFF! 17 IS A NORA NUMBER! NOT A REALITY  
** **Votes will be finalized by the next chapter, so just a little warning to get your vote in. The genders for each vote are as following**

* * *

 **One: Girl. Majority want a girl  
** **Twins: Boy and girl**

 **Triplets: 2 girls and a boy.**

 **Now onto the chapter! (Song used for the dance is "Kingdom Come" by Coldplay, great song btw)**

* * *

Blake checked her scroll. Both the Rose and Knight were in position, at the dance, and Yang was still none the wiser. Planning with Sun was difficult while entertaining Yang was difficult, but it was done! Nothing could go wrong-

"Let's see what you've been reading this whole time" Yang said as she snatched up Blake's scroll.

Aw crap baskets.

Yang's eyes slowly turned from their regular lavender to a furious red.

"We are going to Beacon, Blakey"  
Double crap baskets…

* * *

Ruby looked at her reflection and fixed her dress nervously. The dress still had all the grace as before, but Ruby still felt anxious about the whole thing. She was never a social person, and if the plan worked, she would get her first dance…The whole thing was just new to Ruby. Usually in dances she would just stand near the punch bowl with Jaune till he lost his bet and had to wear a dress.

"Come on Ruby, you can come out now! We're gonna be late!" Weiss called from outside the bathroom. Neptune had asked Weiss out to this dance, and she did not want to miss dancing with the blue haired man.

"Alright" Ruby said, taking a deep breath. Okay, yeah she was pregnant, but still, the student body didn't know, and would never know before it was after the fact. Plus, she would get to see a certain blonde haired knight, and she really hoped that she could actually get the courage to talk to Jaune about something she been meaning to tell him for about two years now…

* * *

Jaune fixed his tie nervously. He felt horrible, sweating terribly, his knees shaking, and this thoughts racing over what could go wrong. "Yang could show up, Ruby could hate me, her team could want to kill me, the Beacon campus found out and wants my head on a platter…"  
Jaune was cut off by a sting on his left cheek. He looked up to see that Sun had slapped him.

"Pull yourself together man. I checked with Blake, Yang still has no idea where you are, Ice Queen doesn't want to kill you, and the campus still are clueless about this whole mess. As far as I know, they think you did something with Yang's hair. Now if you screw this up, I WILL hurt you!" Sun groaned as he pushed open the doors to Beacon, putting a golden mask up on his face. "Now cut back Jauney boy. We got the whole night to relax. Cut loose and enjoy time with Ruby. You might just get lucky and get a kiss from the little lady"

Jaune looked at the hall. The entire hall was decorated with a theme of legends, people dressed with all sorts of flowing gowns and wearing masquerade masks of all sorts of variety. Jaune looked all over for the familiar red hood but much to his demise, he couldn't find her. Of course…his luck.

Feeling the dance ultimately lost upon him, Jaune went to the punch bowl to wallow in his self-pity. Might as well stand there with all the rest of the people who couldn't get a date or just too awkward to interact with the crowd. Getting himself a cup, Jaune began to drink his worries away with the cheap fruity beverage. Might not be spiked, Glynda had sent a student wishing they never did the one year it did happen, but damn, he could try.

"So…I see you're standing awkwardly by the punch bowl too"

Jaune turned around to see a beautiful woman in a flowing gown of dark crimson, black frills covering the ends. She wore a black and red mask, and had a familiar black hair with red tips…

"Ah, I'm just waiting for someone" Jaune answered smoothly, trying to keep his nerves under control.

"Oh really?"

"Yup"

"…"

"…"

"So…can I ask the lady for a dance?"  
"..."

"..."

 **"OH JUST DANCE ALREADY"** Sun called out halfway arose the hall, breaking the awkward tension between the two.

"Well?" Ruby asked Jaune as they headed to the dance floor

"Well what?" Jaune said in a panicked tone. Did he screw this up all ready? If so, new record, but still!

"You gonna ask me if I wanna dance?"

Jaune slapped his head. Damn nerves "Oh yeah... Ruby Rose, would like to take this dance with me?"

Ruby's eyes lit up "I would so kindly, Sir Jaune" She replied, giving a exaggerated bow as Jaune took her hand.

The dance floor began to start the slow dance, a song Jaune recognized, but forgot the artist, but mostly because all thoughts where focused on the most wonderful person he knew dancing with him.

 _For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come._

Jaune and Ruby began to dance, taking a slow shuffle of feet. Several times, Ruby stepped on Jaune's feet, but honestly the Arc could have cared less

 _Until my day, my day is done._

"Well, I have to say, standing awkwardly with someone is a whole lot better than standing awkwardly alone" Ruby chuckled lightly as they continued their dance

Jaune let out a soft laugh "Yeah, and who would have know that I would actually get to stay in a suit the whole time?"

"Hmp. Vomit Boy"

"Crater face"

 _And say you'll come, and set me free,_

"Ruby?"

"Yeah Jaune?"

"I want to apologize. The past month and a half I should have been there for you. I couldn't even get the courage to talk down Yang, but ran. I will never abandon you again. Whatever next, I will be there."

"Jaune..." Ruby said, tears in the corners of her eyes

"Nope, no crying tonight. God knows how long it takes for a woman to get their makeup right. 7 sisters drilled that into me" Jaune said, soothing Ruby

"YOUR FAMI-"

"Will know in all good time. For now, its just me, you, and no worries.

 _Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._

Jaune began to focus in on Ruby's lips, as red as her namesake. Bringing his face closer to hers, Jaune looked Ruby deeply into her silver eyes

"Ruby Rose, I think I'm in lo-"

 **KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM**

The music cut off as red lights began to fill the once lively hall. Students looked around in confusion, all wondering the source of explosion. Sun, Neptune, Weiss, Pyrrha, and Scarlet quickly ran up to Jaune and Ruby, Sun having a panicked expression on his face

"You need to hide." Sun said in a somber tone "Now"

"What, why? Is it a grimm attack? White Fang?" Jaune asked

"No, even worse"

"Torchwick? Mercury and Emerald? Cinder?" Ruby rattled off

"NO! Code: Yellow Fury, YANG KNOWS YOU'RE HERE! Jaune, GTFO!" Sun said, gesturing towards the exit.

"No."

The entire gang looked at Jaune with wide eyes "ARE YOU INSANE!?"

"Look, I got a plan. I'm having my weapons sent in from my locker, Sun, Pyrrha, take Ruby out of here. This could get messy and I don't want you anywhere near it."

"What you can't make me do that, Jaune this is suci-"  
Ruby never got to finish her sentence, as Jaune gave her a full blown kiss, taking Ruby by surprise.

"Cookies..." Jaune said as he pulled away "Your lips taste like strawberries and cookies."

Ruby was blushing a furious crimson. "Well...I do like cookies..."

"Welp, now I die happy. Sun!"

"Hey wait!" But Ruby was cut off as the monkey faunus picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. "Let me go!"

"No can do, Jauney boy has a plan, and I have faith in that. Plus, he has a few more tricks up his sleeve than you think"

* * *

Jaune quickly began to unload his locker of his gear. Taking off his suit jacket, Jaune braced his armor back into place over his dress shirt, and buckled up Croceas Mor around his hip. Grabbing his newly built weapon, Jaune holstered it onto his hip, hanging it from a leather loop on the other belt. He hadn't even had a chance to field test it, let alone name it. Oh well, no time like the present.

 **"JAUNE"**

There, standing in the entry way, was Yang. Her hair was glowing a furious gold, her eyes so red you swore that they were blood, her gauntlets seeming to glow white hot in anticipation. Jaune could only hope his planing worked out.

Jaune and Yang stood at opposite sides of the room, facing one another. The student body could almost feel the tension, the pressure in the room nearly enough to kill a man. Yang's eyes burned a solid red, her hair seemed to glow gold with her rage.

"Now, Yang, why don't we talk this out like civilized people-" Jaune stated calmly, trying to defuse the situation before it got any worse.

However, his plea fell on deaf ears

 **"YOU BASTARD!"**

In a flash of fire, Yang bolted towards the knight at breakneck speeds, a fist raised to deal pain. Knowing the power to great to be blocked, Jaune made a quick side step, dodging the punch by the skin of his teeth. Jaune kept his shield out, but left his sword and pistol sheathed. Even though it wasn't the smartest move, he hoped he could still reason with Yang.

However, Yang ferocity was quickly gaining the upper hand. Jaune had never been much of an agile fighter, and his training with Sun was pretty much the only reason Jaune was alive right now. The monkey faunus had been one of the most mobile fighters Jaune knew, and he picked up on some of his styles during their duels. However, Jaune's refusal towards violence just seemed to anger Yang even more, adding more fuel to the already raging inferno.

 _"_ **FIGHT ME YOU COWARD!"** Yang growled as she gave a furious uppercut, making solid contact on Jaune, making contact for the first time. The punch was so powerful that even with his aura, Jaune still felt like he was getting hit with the side of a sledgehammer. Spitting out blood, Jaune stood up and unsheathed Croceas Mor. She wanted to fight?

Let's give her a fight.

Gritting his teeth, Jaune willed his semblance. Croceas Mor erupted in a brilliant white light, his aura encasing the ancient blade. Let's show Yang how much trouble she caused him, Ruby, and so many others in her blind rage.

Any shock of the Arc's semblance was lost on Yang, either being too consumed in her rage or the battle. She charged head first at Jaune, only for her gauntlet to be met by a metal shield, a river of energy slowly corroding at her aura as her arm was covered in white energy. To make matters worse, this wasn't a kinetic attack. Yang couldn't use this later. Normally, Yang would have took notice of this, but in her rage, it just seemed to add to her anger that her attack was futile. Picking up a table, Yang threw it directly at him, with enough force to kill a grimm with ease. Acting quickly, Jaune sliced the table in two, sending the halves spiraling into the wall, where the shattered. And with that, the fight truly began.

Jaune began to slowly focus on counters, using Yang's own momentum against her, knowing that any physical attacks of his own would bite him in the ass later. He needed to defeat Yang in one swoop, after wearing her down. Any attack she could get up from was a tip in her favor. So Jaune focused on defense, maintaining his semblance on his shield.

Finally seeing Yang slow down for a second, Jaune made a quickdraw for his revolver. Rotating the chamber to one of the special dust rounds he designed, Jaune aimed the large. Pulling the trigger, his shot missed Yang, landing right in front of her. All the students watching thought the Arc screwed up his shot, but was proved wrong as a burst of light bursted from the bullet, causing everyone looking at to lose their vision from the sudden burst.

Yang, blinded by the flashbang shot, swung her fists blindly in rage, taking luck shots into the white, breaking everything around her. Jaune's voice cut through her blindness, a focus for her anger.

"Yang, you need to calm down and listen"  
Yang dashed towards the voice, only to be greeted by nothingness, stumbling over something she couldn't see. Grasping at straws, Yang thrashed on the floor with rage, attacking anything within her range.

"Yang. I need you to hear me out. Your party you threw, all those months ago… Me and Ruby woke up naked in the same bed, with as much memory of that night as any of you. And whatever of that night doesn't change the reality, that one way or another, we did do **_it,_** and both willingly, and now Ruby is pregnant, and I'm the father. I hope to be the best father I can to my child, and be the best one to help

* * *

Ruby raise it. But Yang, in your rage, you forgot about Ruby, and even forgot that you were the one who forced us into that party. Rather than be a kind supporting sister and hear the problem out, you left on a manhunt to kill and/or castrate me. So I beg you, Yang Xiao Long, don't let your rage control you."

"Yang, please listen." Ruby's voice called out. She had finally managed to get away from Sun, and to the main fight, and just in time too.

Jaune's words finally seemed to make an impact, as Yang's eyes slowly faded to back to their regular violet, as her sight returned. In front of her, she saw Ruby, nearly in tears, Beacon's hall in rumble, and Jaune beaten and bruised. Did she cause this? Did she let her rage control her so much? She always wanted to protect Ruby, but all she did in the end was abandon her just like her mother did to her…. What she did was unacceptable. Tears began to fill Yang's eyes. She was truly a horrible sister.

"Ruby...Jaune..." Yang choked out as she broke down in tears, bringing the two into a bone crushing "I'm so, so, so sorry. What I did was inexcusable. I was a horrible friend, a horrible student, a terrible huntress, and worst of all, a god awful sister. I cared more about getting my rage satisfied than actually caring for you. Do what you will. I deserve no part in your child's life"

Ruby let out a sniffle "You know... _hic..._ Yang, I could never... _hic..._ do that. You're my hot heated sister, and soon to be a hot heated aunt."

"It would be more of a crime to not inculde you in this child's life" Jaune said as he helped Ruby and Yang up "You are one of the most eccentric people I know. 2nd to Nora"

"Is that a challenge I hear Jauney Boy?" Yang said with a grin, her usual self returning full force.

"Wait I mean-"

"Too late! Nora! ME! YOU! CONTEST! NOW!"

"I'LL BREAK YOUR LEGS!"

Ruby and Jaune let out a sigh as Yang and Nora began to compete. Both at this point lost their care for the state of the gym, for in their eyes, it was home. Because the whole family was there with them. With that, Jaune and Ruby fell into each others embrace, and fell asleep on the gym floor to the sound their teammates.

 **AN: Yang ex Cockblock machina**

* * *

 **Omake: Semblance ideas**

Jaune began to concentrate on his aura. Feeling it begin to boil up, the pressure reaching its breaking point, Jaune let it flow out…

And immediately felt his left shoulder explode in pain as Jaune slammed into a tree.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"Holy cow, Jaune I think you did it!" Sun called out, jumping down from the tree he had been watching Jaune from. "Try doing it again!"  
Rubbing his aching arm, Jaune began to channel his aura again, letting it gather, than releasing it in a burst, only to find himself slamming into the same tree again, just as painful as the first time

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"Hmm…You appear to have some sort of side dash…" Sun said, deep in thought "but you see to keep going to the left. Try focusing on the right"

Jaune groaned, focused his aura, concentrated on the right, and released it…

"SON OF A MOTHERF******* ***** ***** ** *** BITCH!" Jaune yowled as he slammed into the same tree again, his entire left arm consumed in pain.

"It appears your semblance is move a super speeds only to the left…though my question is how far?" Sun said, his eyes filled with curiosity.

Jaune let this own need to know get the better of him. Forgetting his pain temporarily, Jaune took a couple steps away, and called his aura…and slammed into the tree once again

"You know, in hindsight, it might have been a better idea for Jaune to face the opposite side" Sun said as Jaune cursed rapidly on the floor in pain.

After finally getting Jaune's arm treated, Sun and Jaune finally began to come to a conclusion

"Well, it appears your semblance is to be able to move 3ft to the left very quickly" Sun said as the two viewed over their data.

"Why only the left?"

Sun replied with a shit eating grin, his teeth sparkling "Well, as a reflection of your soul, it's only fair that your semblance is never right"

"I hate you sometimes, you know that?"

"Eh, I'm your lovable monkey wingman"

"Keep telling yourself that"

* * *

 **Now by popular demand, here's an actual canon oma** **ke to the plot**

"Oh Jauney Boy!"

Jaune lurched up from his small nap, sending Runy awake from her using him as a pillow. Looking in front of him, Jaune saw Nora and Yang holding what appeared to be... No, for once in his time at Beacon, NO!

"I'm not doing it! I didn't make any stupid bet to lose this year, I'm not wearing a dress and you can't make me!" Jaune stated, but it fell on deaf ears.

Yang gave her trademark grin and Nora cracked her knuckles. Jaune quickly began to realize how small his chances actually are. Turning to his only hope, Jaune looked to Ruby with a face begging for help.

"Please tell them no"

Ruby gave a small smile and shrugged "You look cute in a dress"

"You traitor..."

Standing in the dance floor, Jaune did what he did best. Lead..true, he would perfer an actual combat situation, but hey, Leading the squad in an epic dance while in a knee length dress that had a way too low neckline (Damn it Yang) was something he could live with

Now if only Yang didn't leave in the near the end. Something about Vale needing it's hero.


	13. Chapter 12 Gimme Three Steps

**Chapter 12. Gimme Three Steps**

 **Disclaimer:** ***Grabs rights to RWBY and bolts for the door* HA! I GOT YOU SHOULD SEE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACES! YOU LOOK-*Hits wall and drops rights, Rooster Teeth picking them back up*-ridiculous.  
** **Do not own RWBY**

 **AN: Thank you all so much for your continued support and reviews! 9 Months to Live is now the 2** **nd** **most faved in the Lancaster fics, only behind Love is a Knightmare, which in my opinion is the better fic. Anyway, I'll be writing a Lancaster for an event called 9 Days of Lancaster (No relation to my fic, coincidentally) anyone is free to join, so anyone out there interested just contact Fate-117 at his account. It's basically to promote Lancaster, which in my opinon is the msot screwed over of RWBY shippings, living in the shadow of Arkos and being shot down by White Rose. So yeah, Support the socially awkward from now till May 1st!**

 **Now votes will be posted at the end of the chapter, because they're finalized! The winner will be revealed in this chapter!  
** **Onto story!**

* * *

The week flew by quickly as things began to return back to normal, if you could even call it that. Jaune pass the finals he took during his "vacation" and Ruby also passed hers thanks to help from Weiss and Pyrrha. However, due to Yang's long term absence, she did have to spend the past week working on finals, putting her in a foul mood. Thankfully for Jaune however, she chose team CRDL to cut loose.

The last week of school seemed to be very...weird. Yang and Jaune did let it slip of Ruby's condition during their fight, and the school for the most part stayed silent on the matter. Mostly out of fear of what Yang would do if they even dared gossip. That girl seemed to have ears everywhere. Jaune himself didn't get much grief on, much to his surprise. In fact, the only person who made an comment was Cardin, who only said Jaune was possibly the luckiest and dumbest person for tapping that. Jaune never did get a chance to say anything, seeing as Yang appeared right behind Cardin and suplexed the large hunter.

Overall, Jaune was happy. The week was a peaceful one, spending time with RWBY, with the visit to the doctor to actual see his child coming up, Nora trying to come up with baby names (He didn't have the heart to tell her "Boop" was not a baby name) and just enjoying his last week as a student at Beacon. Jaune knew for the most part his team would always be there for him, and vice versa with Ruby and her team, but it was bittersweet. This was their home for four years, and now it's time to say goodbye.

However, on the day before Graduation, Jaune got a message from Ozpin. The mysterious Headmaster wanted to see Jaune in his office. Making his way to the tower, avoiding Glynda (She was even more pissed at the gang then before. Turns out she didn't like Yang's destruction of school property and attempts of homicide on a fellow student) Jaune arrived to the circle office, Ozpin waiting for him, holding his trademark mug full of...was it coffee? Now that Jaune thought about it, maybe it was something more...alcohol related. That would explain the forest test from his freshman year, or lack of there of. 4 years and Jaune still had a slight grudge from the man launching him into a grimn infested forest

"So, Mr Arc" Ozpin said, Jaune quickly snapped up, realizing he was getting distracted fast. "Tell me, what do you plan to do once you graduate Beacon?"

Jaune thought for a minute. "Well, I guess be a father to the kid me and Ruby are having, while doing work as a hunter" Jaune said, scratching the back of his head. He really did need to get a solid plan worked out.

"And what work as a huntsman? You are a Beacon trained hunter, trained by one of the greatest champions of today, the only male heir to one of the greatest hero lineage in history, and have a tactical mind so potent that you could out maneuver even the smartest general. You have many skills, and you've worked hard to be where you are today." Ozpin stated as he sipped his coffee.

Jaune was taken away from this. He never really thought of himself in that light. I mean, yeah he has improved a lot, in fact the one award he expected to get at graduation was most improved. But not to such a degree. The way Ozpin was describing him, it just didn't seem to fit Jaune. He was just...Jaune.

"Thank you very much Professor, but I'm not that good-"

"Mr Arc, I made many decisions I regret in my long life. You, are one of the very select few I'm proud of. Do not ever sell yourself short." Ozpin said. "Now, I brought you here with an offer. You have as of recently, proved yourself to be of an above average skill, holding your own and winning against Ms Xiao Long, leading one of the most successful teams in Beacon history. So, I brought you here to offer you a job"

Jaune looked at Ozpin, his eyes in shock. "What? Excuse me Professor

"Oh Just take the damn job already!"

Jaune turned around to see Ruby's uncle, Qrow, walking into the room, holding an empty flask. "Sup Ozzie"

Ozpin let out a subtle groan "Qrow, I thought I told you to wait in the other room"

"I did, but I quickly ran out of booze and patience"

Jaune merely looked at this with shock and confusion, and with a hint of caution. He's seen what that man can do with a scythe, and anyone who taught Ruby was to be feared. "Um...Hi?"

"Sup, John, was it?" Qrow slurred, leaning towards Jaune "Heard about how you finally knocked some sense into my eldest niece. Good work kid. Now just watch out for the lion."

Jaune did not even bother to correct the man, and decided to focus on Ozpin. "So, what was is this job you wanted me?" An occupation would be ideal, and one picked from the Headmaster himself would be perfect.

Ozpin took a sip of his coffee, then looked intensely at Jaune "Let me ask you, do you believe in legends? Stories told through ages?"

Jaune was caught offguard by the question "Um...Yeah, I guess. There's a little truth behind even the most wildest tall tale"

"I figured you would believe so, Mr Arc. Have you heard the story of the 4 Maidens?"

"Yeah, my mom and sisters loved to tell me that one. Doesn't it have an old hermit who lives in solitude till 4 maidens, each representing the seasons teach him how to enjoy life, and in exchange gives them power to spread their goodwill?"

"Very good Mr Arc. Now, this story, despite being hundreds of years old, has truth to it. For what it's worth, there where 4 maidens, and each blessed with power unrivaled by few. This power would be passed on when the maiden passed to usually the last person the previous maiden had on their mind before death, or would be selected at random."

Jaune looked in confusion. What?

What?

"So, let me get this straight. Childhood fairytale is real, and there is magic power that is passed like a baton through the year from girl to girl? I think you've been spending way to much time around Ruby"

Qrow chuckled "Well, when you put it like that..."

Ozpin glared at the drunk. "Anyway, it has been our duty to keep these maidens protected, and by doing so the rest of Remnant. I bring you hear today because as of recently, a new fall maiden has yet to been found. I need someone to help Qrow-"

"Babysit more like" Qrow snorted as Ozpin sighed

Ozpin continued "Anyway, I need someone smart, someone who knows how to spot manipulation and help Qrow find the maiden as fast as we can. I fear dark forces are at work again..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" Jaune said, holding his hands up "I thought Cinder was dead! That's it right, who else would try something like this

"Trust me kid, she's dead as your social skills. Some other bitch unfortunately has seem to have taken up her mantle" Qrow grimaced.

"Yes. Recent actions have shown signs that someone has been making contact with all of Cinder's old contacts. Roman Torchwick has escaped his jail cell, Mercury Black and his partner have resurfaced, and it all points towards one direction. So I need you to help Qrow. I can trust someone like you to do the right thing Mr Arc"

Jaune was taken back by all this. All the peace teams RWBY and JNPR had worked for, all the blood, sweat, and tears, where being undone. A new villain was rising, and he had the opportunity to help, but...Ruby. He recalled her saying that Qrow would be gone for long periods of time, and he couldn't do it to her. "Professor, I'm honored that you have so much faith in me, but I can't. Me and Ruby... I'm going to be a father, and I need to be there for her."

"Don't sweat it kid. My niece would be more pissed that you din't take the job to help the world rather than be with her. And do you want to be stuck with her knowing your choice? Ha, good luck" Qrow snorted

"But..."

"But nothing. Ruby would, no wants you to do this. Plus, I'll put in a good word with Ol' Tai."

Jaune was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth "SIGN ME UP"

* * *

Ruby checked her scroll. She had stopped once again at the dreaded nurse's office, this time to check on her pregnancy. However, the father was running late. Someone better be here soon or she was going to be cleaning blonde hairs from Crescent Rose's blade mechanisms...

Jaune ran into the waiting room, panting, his face clear from exhaustion.

"Sorry... **Pant**...Ozpin... **pant**...wanted...to...talk...but...baby...now..." Jaune panted out, his face visibly red.

Ruby eyed him, but shrugged "Eh, you're here anyway. Already better than my uncle with my birthday"

"Ms. Rose, I'm ready to see you"

Ruby and Jaune turned around to see a familiar Nurse in purple, holding a clipboard of what appeared to be medical gibberish.

Walking into the sonogram room, usually meant for heavy injuries, Ruby got up onto the table and pulled up her loose shirt she had on, to reveal a small, but visible bulge. Jaune grabbed her hand as Doc began to spread the gel, causing a shiver to course through Ruby. Finally Doc brought the device down to Ruby's stomach, scanning over it, looking intently at the screen...

"Oh that's unusual..."

"IS THE BABY OKAY?" Ruby exclaimed

"OHMYGODWHATIFIT'SHORRIBLEYDISFIGURED" Jaune panicked.

"Oh, no the baby is perfectly fine. Or should I say Babies!"

Jaune and Ruby looked at the nurse. Did he just say what they think he said...?

"You're having twins!"

 **Thud.**

And at that moment, both Ruby and Jaune fainted on the spot.

* * *

 **Omake: A Million Lien but...: 2**

Sun, Nora, and Yang and sat down at a table in the Beacon commons, enjoying a high class meal courtesy of Sun, who would not stop giving what could only be described as a smile similar to Yang when she cracked a horrible pun.

"Alright ladies, time to introduce you to a little game the boys of team SSSN call a Million Lien but. I'll start." Sun said as he took a swig of his imported Caribbean banana smoothie. "A million Lien but... you have your arms replaced with muppet arms."

Yang didn't even take a second to answer "HELL YEAH! Imagine beating down team CRDL with muppet arms! That alone would make my day!"

A flash of light encased Yang, blinding everyone temporally. When there vision returned, Nora and Yang where shocked to see that Yang arms, where indeed, replaced with that of the soft velvet kind you would see on a puppet. Yang's eyes lit up as she lifted her chair with the same ease as she normally did, giving a rather...interesting grin, than got up and left, something about dicking around with CRDL.

The game ended with Sun know having the ability to regenerate all his blood instantly but had one small cut cause it to all squirt out (still not as awesome as _The_ Sun), and Nora having to hug every stranger she met. So nothing really changed with Nora. What really shocked them was when they tricked Weiss to get in. Let's just say she did not realize quite the effects of the game...and well...she's currently livestreaming every dump Schnee takes...

* * *

 **AN: And the votes are done!**

 **One: 9  
Twins: 51  
Triplets: 48**

 **This was a close poll, insanely so (3 votes, 3 votes!), but I think this one does make the most since taking into account how small Ruby is. Once again, thank you all so much for your votes and continued support. Till Next time, Lone Wanderer out!**

 **Hasta la Vista Baby!**


	14. Chapter 13 Come Sail Away

**Chapter 13 Come Sail Away**

 **Disclaimer:** **I activate my trap card!  
** **RT: I summon the rights to RWBY!  
** **Lone Wanderer: Damn, the one thing I don't own!**

 **AN: THE LONE WANDERER IS BACK BITCHES!  
** **Little confession to make. I started this with actually little to no intention of even completing it, or even writing a 2** **nd** **chapter for that matter. But I saw so many people like this, and not lonely that, but even love it! So thank you all so much. It's your support that drives me to write this. This is a fic that I hope one day you can go back to laugh, to smile, and to just lighten up your day, even a little. I kinda screwed up at some parts, so I will be doing a slow edit on each chapter, revising it to a much better quality. THIS MEANS MY ASINE GRAMMAR.  
** **Also, for the record, my Hasta La Vista baby was an unintended pun. I'm just that good at them. I'm like the pun edition of Eminem. (Pun God)**

 **Questions!**

" **Is there going to be a public Beacon graduation?" Yes, and no. I see it as 2 ceremonies. One personal to Beacon and one available to the public. Think of it as receiving a military promotion.**

 **Now onto the chapter! *Jumps out the window***

 **Meep fanmeepster: Damn it, that's the 5** **th** **window this week.**

* * *

Jaune and Ruby woke up lying in one of the beds in the Nurse's office. Jaune groaned as he got out of the bed. Looking around he saw the Doc looking at them, curiosity in his eyes.

"Oh, you two are up!" The nurse said as he went to their side. "You two took a little nap. Do you remember what happened before you passed out?"

"Well…I had the meeting with Ozpin, and then I rushed to make it here-"

"Still he was a little late" Ruby interrupted, cracking her neck as she stretched out.

"As I was saying, then you did the test and told us that you two were having twins"

Twins.

Twins.

Two.

Whole.

Babies.

Jaune quickly felt like he was going to faint again, and Ruby herself didn't feel so good.

"Well, aren't you two just lucky" Doc said cheerfully, unaware to the young adults panicking "You get double the experience! Just think about it, you get to pick out two names, two different colors for the room, and so much more!"

Both teens to began to go into a mental breakdown. Jaune found himself curled up in a ball in the corner, while Ruby was pacing around nervously.

"Two?!" She said as she raced from one side of the room to the next "I can't even handle one! But TWO! AHH!"

Doc, realizing the panicking soon-to-be parents. grabbed the hyperactive huntress and pulled the moaning Arc out of the corner of depression

'Okay Mr. Arc, Ms. Rose, deep breaths, in, out, in, out." Doc said in a steady voice, having the two young hunters mirror his actions, slowly seeing the two return to a sense of calm "There, now you're both calm enough to consider the fact that you are having twins."

"What did you just do?" Jaune asked "Because I would really like to learn how to do that if I'm really am going to have two kids."

Ruby nodded in agreement "Yeah, or maybe I should try that when I'm trying to deal with Weiss and one of her rants…"

"HEY!"

The young Schnee randomly called out in the middle of the Beacon library, causing everyone in there to hush her.

"What was that all about?" Blake asked, not even looking up from her smu-I mean mature romance novel

"My Schnee intuition sensed a disturbance in my name…" Weiss said looked around franticly, looking for the perpetrator, but to no avail.

"...I need a vacation after this. A nice long vacation away from everyone…" Blake said to herself as she went back to her por- IMeanSwordCatalog

Doc looked at the two "Oh, trust me, you two will be getting very acquainted with them! They're breathing exercises for when giving birth!" The purple coated nurse smiled happily "You can learn more at my course I'll be teaching over the summer for expecting couples!" He said, shoving a pamphlet in there hands.

 _Pregnancy for Simpletons: Sponsored by the SDC._

"Huh." Jaune and Ruby both said, flipping through the pamphlet.

"Wonder if we could use Ice Queen to get us a discount?" Wondered the blonde knight as he eyed the price.

"Probably with the bribe of her being a godmother to one of them" Ruby stated, knowing that she would probably act similar to how she did with the

Doc looked at them both with a grin "So, will I being seeing you two, or, well, four later?"

Ruby and Jaune looked at each other, then gave the doctor a solid nod.

"Great! I have this whole plan to involve a gluten free, eco friendly, sugar free diet-"

* * *

The Lion of Beacon stood before the grounds of his old territory. That ballsy bastard had outsmarted his teammate, both his daughters, and had thus proven to be a worthy adversary. Surely he needed to up his game. He would not allow this to go any further, but he had to get his priorities straight for the moment though. He had to watch his two baby girls graduate from Beacon. Then castrate the cursed boy...

* * *

Jaune fidgeted at the uniform given to him by the school. The blue and gold graduation clothes seemed to want to personally suffocate him, the tie was nearly impossible to get right. These cursed uniforms...Why couldn't he just graduate in his good ol' hoodie and jeans? The last day of school had flown by so fast, and to the seniors, it seemed like only yesterday that they entered Beacon's halls. Finals craze was done and over with, and with it came the emergence of what many consider the greatest senior prank ever done in Beacon. Yang herself held the prank with a sense of pride, going far as to call it her little baby. Even said it could play with Ruby's little squirts when they come. Needless to say, Yang had a wanted poster in the teacher's room. Glynda did not take kindly to a prank of the level Yang pulled off. Most students find that just mentioning the Blonde Brawler sent the teacher into a foul mood.

"Need help?"

Jaune looked behind him to see Ruby, in the woman's graduation uniform, with the addition of her signature red cloak.

The Knight gave her a grateful nod "Thanks. I swear the whole point of the male uniforms is to strangulate the wearer"

"Hey, at least you don't have to hide a pregnant belly! With Twins!"  
Jaune shrugged. She had him there. "Oh, about that….My parents... They're coming to the graduation. In fact, they kinda brought the whole Arc clan." Jaune said, scratching his head nervously.

"ALL OF THEM!?"

"Yeah, all 7 older sisters. Jane, Joan, Julie, Jennifer, Jewel, Jessica, and-"

"Let me guess. Something with a J?" Ruby asked.

Jaune laughed "Nope. Why does everyone always guess that? No, Aurum."

The reaper slapped herself on the face. "Of course. Please tell me your sisters are better than Weiss's sister. She's just plain scary" She said, visibly shuddering form memories of the elder Schnee.

Jaune eyes began to trail off. "Well, they aren't as much as...uptight? Yeah, uptight as the Ice Queen Sr, but the entire Arc family is a bit… expressive. Anyway, speaking of families,what have we heard of your dad from Yang?"

Ruby stayed silent for a good solid minute. "He'll be at the graduation, but don't worry, Yang and Uncle Qrow have a plan!"

Ruby looked him dead in the eye. "How doomed are we?

"Well...I mean, there is always the off chance-"

"Don't beat around the bush."

"Let's just say that it's more likely for the Nora to become serious and become the next Goodwitch than we have of an uneventful graduation."

Ruby sighed in defeat "Normal knees..that's all I ever wanted? Was it that much to ask for?" She said to no one in particular.

"Hey, I have a plan!" Jaune exclaimed "...well a percentage of a plan"  
"What is the percentage?" She deadpanned

"Okay...maybe like 12 percent… actually it's more of a concept really?"

The soon to be huntress face palmed. This was going to be a long, long (Xaio) long graduation.

* * *

The families slowly flooded into Beacon, families and civilians from all over Remanent came to see the next generation of Hunters move on. To some, it was a heartwarming moment of seeing their loved ones become the new defenders of the kingdoms, to others it was a moment of hope for peace and for the future. As for those graduating for most it was the moment of a lifetime. It was the moment that their training ended and their lives as huntsmen and huntresses began. For a certain goodwitch however, it will be a night of paperwork and headaches; after all the lion is stalking his prey and the lion will not be stopped until he has his prey's 'head' on a stick. As for the prey, well his only hope is that his friends and family will be able to save him from the Lion. But now was not the time for that. Now to many was a time of peace, pride, and-

"JAUNE! WHERE'S MY LITTLE BOY!"

Mrs. Arc, a rather pretty looking woman for her age, with short brunette hair and green eyes, looked all over the Beacon courtyard for her only son.

One of her daughters looked to her "Mom, I don't think he's here…"

"NONSENSE!" bellowed. A mountain of a man, the head Arc stood at towering at 7 ft 3, with a head so bald it sparkled, with a mustache of gold that rivaled Peter Port's, and seemed to draw attention like a rogue paladin mech running down a highway. "MY SON IS MERELY WAITING FOR THE OPPORTUNE TIME TO SHOW HIS FULL SKILLS TO THE ARC FAMILY!"

All 7 Women looked to their father, facepalming, as everyone was now looking at them with weird looks.

"Dad, you do this everywhere we go…" Spoke Joan, the eldest of the children

"Joan, stop criticizing your father and focus on finding your brother" said as she continued to scan the large crowd of families and students

Julie, the 4th child, rolled her eyes "Mom, I'm sure that with Dad's little introduction, finding us will be easy…"

"Yes, but you know how Jaune is… always winding up into dangerous situations. I swear, that child always manages to attract trouble. Then again, it's probably genetic, I mean when I was your age, I always seemed to be getting into one problem after another-"

Droning their parents out the way they learned from Beacon (Thank you, Prof Port) the sisters quickly began to hunt for their brother.

"Ren, come on! What do you mean I can't bring a sloth with me to the stage! Jaune said it was okay!"

"That's because you literally had a table underneath him."

The sisters turned their heads to see a rather... _eccentric…_ redhead holding a giant stuffed sloth(?) with a man wearing a long green garb with raven like hair with a magenta streak.

"Excuse me, did you say Jaune? He's our brother, we're looking for him." Spoke Jessica, the middle child.

"Know him?" Exclaimed the energetic redhead "Why, he's our fearless leader, silly! So you must the sisters he's always mentioning!"

"What she means to say is yes, we are his teammates" Said the raven haired boy  
"Oh, so that must make you...Nora? And your boyfriend must be Ren, right?" Joan asked the two students

"Oh, we're not together-togethe-" Ren started but was cut off by Nora.

"Yup!" Nora said with a nod "Now, last I saw our fearless leader I think he was over in the dorms. Something about his doom. Now come on Ren!" And with that, the redhead grabbed the poor boy by the arm, leading him off to god knows where to do god only knows what.

With that Joan and Aurum decided to go to find Jaune, while the rest of the Arc sisters returned to watch their over parents before they got into any trouble or humiliation.

Finally making their way to the JNPR dorm, the sisters were shocked to see a human shaped hole into what seemed to be their brother's dorm. Looking through, Aurum and Joan saw their brother panicking.

"-I mean,they will kick my ass! Not to mention the frying pan!" Ah, nothing new here. Jaune always did seem to find trouble.

"It won't be that bad, now come on! We're gonna be late" Spoke a female voice. It couldn't be Jaune's partner, Phyrra, they saw a hoard of fans surround the champion. The women looked at each other with wide eyes. Jaune and a girl? Joan and Aurum leaned in closer

"Just let me enjoy my last few moments of living. Your dad and my parents will kill me by the end of the day."

"You got me pregnant, it's not like you seriously assaulted me or attacked me."  
"YOU DID WHAT!?" Jaune and Ruby turned around to see Aurum and Joan standing behind the yang shaped hole with the look of murder in their eyes.

"Um...hey Joan, Aurum...heh heh..long time no see…" Jaune said, shaking where he stood "how have you...I'm screwed aren't I?"

Both sisters gave their brother a solemn nod.

* * *

"-and that's the story" Jaune explained as his sisters glared daggers at him and Ruby.

Joan was the first to speak "You do realize, that failing to notify us, your own family Jaune, has made this all the more trouble for you."

Aurum snorted. "Yeah, you'll be lucky if mom doesn't cut off your dick and kill you with the frying pan and tell your children your tale to scare them straight."

"Please Jaune's sisters-" Ruby started

"Aurum and Joan" They corrected the reaper

"We already moved past this. It wasn't any of our faults. We both didn't know it was alcohol, and we both accepted the responsibility of both our actions. Even MY sister has moved on!"

"And your father?" Joan said, her eyes holding a look similar to that of Professor Goodwitch

"...We're working on it" Ruby fell in defeat.

"Look, if you could just keep this a secret from the rest of the family for at least graduation." Jaune pleaded to his sisters. "We just need to make it through our graduation into huntsmen then we're golden."

"Alright, fine we'll go with it, BUT after graduation ends you WILL be telling the others, got it?" said Aurum

"Got it" replied Jaune with a defeated look.

* * *

"JAUNE!"

The young knight was caught off guard as he was tackled to the ground. "OW!"  
"Oh Jaune, your mother missed you soooooo much!" The mother Arc said as she gave Jaune a crushing bear hug.

"Lungs...LUNGS!" Jaune choked out as he began to see lights.

"Sorry, I just missed my baby boy soooooo much!" Mrs. Arc said as she finally released him from her death grip.

"HE'S NO LONGER A BOY ANYMORE DEAR, HE'S NOW AN ARC MAN IN HIS PRIME!" Boomed the ever so loud Mr. Arc as he gave Jaune a hardy pat in the back...a bit too hard, sending him flying forward into the hoard that was his sisters.

"Jaune!"  
"Sup bro"  
"Meet any girls?"  
"Still a virgin?"  
"Come out of the closet?"  
"Have you seen my dress I wore to my dance at Beacon?"

Ruby watched from a distance as the poor boy got bombarded by his family. It was a heartwarming wild scene. She was always happy with Yang and her dad, but to see Jaune with her siblings. It also made sense how he was able to adjust to team JNPR's and RWBY's antics so easily. With a family like that, one must expect the unexpected.

Finally calming down the hoard Jaune called his family, and getting glared by Aurum and Joan, gesturing towards Ruby from behind Mr Arc's towering form.

"So Mom, Dad… I have someone to introduce to you…"  
"IsItAGirl?" Mrs Arc said, her eyes going wide as she looked around for said girl, Ruby silently giggling inside.

"HAS MY SON FINALLY FOUND HIMSELF A WOMAN WORTHY OF CREATING THE NEXT GENERATION OF ARCS!"  
"Don't be silly dear. I would castrate Jaune with my frying pan if he ever got that far in Beacon, especially since I didn't raise no dirty tuckers…"

Jaune immediately paled to a near Schnee shade, and his mind and courage backpedaled out the window. "No-no-no-no-no, she's just my fellow leader, Ruby Rose! Come here Ruby!" Aurum and Joan both facepalmed at their brother's failed attempt.

In a flash, the Crimson Reaper rocketed over to the large family "It's a pleasure to meet Jaune's family. He talks about you guys very often."

"Mom, I think Jaune has something to tell you about-" Joan started but was cut off by Momma Arc

"That's my little boy! Please, call me Soleil **[1]** , and any friend of my son is a friend of me!" Mrs Arc said, shaking Ruby's hand with extreme vigor.

"THANK YOU FOR HELPING MY SON AT HIS TIME IN BEACON! YOU ARE TRULY A REMARKABLE YOUNG LADY! SURELY A GIRL LIKE YOURSELF WILL HAVE GREAT THINGS IN THE FUTURE!"

Ruby turned as red as her cloak at the praise "Oh, I'm not anything special...I'm just a normal huntress..."

"NONSENSE! I'VE KNOWN OZPIN FOR YEARS AND I KNOW HE DOESN'T CHOOSE HIS LEADERS RANDOMLY! WHY, I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS PUT ON A TEAM WITH MY DARLING WIFE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO!"

* * *

 **30 years ago…**

"Headmaster Ozpin, what teams do you suggest I order the new students into?" asked the assistant headmaster at the time, a young man by the name of Coeur Al'Aran **[2]** asked the coffee addict, who honestly looked no different back then compared to today (he'd swear it's the coffee)

"That, my dear friend, is what I do best. Just try to use their initials as acronyms and use whatever forms the closet to an actual word, then whoever's name is in the front is the team leader." Ozpin said, sipping from his ever present mug.

"But Sir," Started the Coeur "That doesn't make any sense! The teams are completely random, at best, and the leadership would not nessarsarilly fall into the hands of the most able; it would be a complete shot in the dark! It doesn't make any sense! Especially considering the fact that the students will be working with these arrangements for the next 4 YEARS!"

"You done?" Ozpin asked calmly

"...I think so" Coeur panted

"All out of your system?"

"Yeah."

"Here have some of the Teacher's special brew. You'll see things in a whole new light, I promise this much" Ozpin said with a small grin, handing the man a mug of steaming caffeinated goodness

 _One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us-_

* * *

 **Present**

"HE IS TRULY A GENIUS!" Bellowed Mr Arc.

Somewhere off campus, Glynda sneezed.

"Bless you Ms Goodwitch" Ozpin said, as he drank from his mug

Glynda merely shivered a little "I just felt someone say something horrible."

"Maybe some coffee to ease your mind"

"Ozpin, I told you this once, and I'll tell you again. I'm a tea person. Get your damn grinds away from me."

 _Damn_

* * *

Taiyang Xiao Long stood on the opposite side of Beacon campus, talking with his eldest daughter

"I can't believe my little girls are all grown up! Now where's Ruby, and better yet, the bastard who knocked her up! You, me, and Qrow are gonna kill him! Well that is if Qrow can at least get his drunk ass together."

Yang scratched her head nervously "Ruby's um...busy getting ready! Yeah! I'll have her over here soon! As for the target he's...been missing. I would have searched longer, had it not been for finals and stuff"

"Why don't you bring me to Ruby? I can't stand having her out of my sight any longer!"

Yang mentally gulped. "Um okay Pops, just give me a minute, I want you to meet my partner, Blake!" She said, grabbing Blake, who had been sitting nearby reading her book without a care in the world. Giving Blake a desperate look, she turned to her dad "Blake, meet my old man-"I AM NOT OLD"-"Hush, yes you are. Pops, meet Blakey. Now you two go meet one another while I go grab Ruby" Yang said, bolting off in the other direction, leaving Tai and Blake standing there.

"So…" Blake said. "You ever wonder why we're here?"

"Dunno. Isn't it one of life's greatest-"

* * *

Ruby's conversation was caught off mid buzz as her scroll began to vibrate. Looking at it, she saw a message from Yang.

 _Bumblebee69: The Lion is coming towards Flower and Knight, I repeat, Lion is coming! Plan Fiesta now!_

Ruby eyes grew in shock, but quickly masked it.

"Sorry about that. Jaune and I gotta go get ready soon, but first let me show Jaune this thing my sister sent me"  
"What thing?" Jaune asked, genuinely curious and lost

"You now...the thing! Just look!" She said, shoving her scroll at the dense knight.

Jaune saw the message and paled several shades for the 2nd time that day. "Um, yep we gotta get going now, bye mom, bye dad, bye sisters!" Leaning in closer to Aurum and Joan, he whispered into their ears "My last will and testament is underneath my pillow. My bed is the one on the far right." And with that he bolted off, with Ruby in tow.

"Wait! Jaune do what is our plan for getting around dad?" Ruby asked once they were a safe distance from the dorms

"Surely, in order to get past a veteran hunter, I'll need a crafty disguise." Jaune said "Unfortunately, all I have is my sombrero"

* * *

"Alright Yang, where is Ruby? You've been literally leading me in circles!" Tai said with slight agitation

Yang merely faked confusion "You know, I coulda swore I was going the right way… Man, you think there would be some sort of sign. Maybe a distinguishable landmark or something? " She shrugged "Oh well"

Tai rolled his eyes, only to see a familiar red cloak in the corner of his eyes.

Rapidly turning around to where he saw the cloak, Tai's eyes widen when he sees a Ruby running towards the graduation hall in her beacon uniform with Crescent Rose on her back, followed by a tall skinny male figure

"YOU STOP RIGHT THERE YOU DAUGTHER DEFILING BASARD!" Tai screamed, sailing across the courtyard with a raised fist, but stopped dead in his tracks as Ruby stood in front of…

A mexican in a large sombrero and holding a guitar

"Dad! Stop!" Ruby exclaimed, flailing her arm like crazy "This isn't him! In fact, I think he moved to Canada!"

"But Canada is not real" Tai said with suspicion clear on his face. "And who's this guy?" Gesturing towards the shaking hispanic

"Mi Nombre es Juan Marco. No Ingles" Spoke the man

"He's your...um…-"

"Your surprise mariachi band player that Ruby and I got to surprise you! I know how much you like your cultural music, but unfortunately, this was all Ruby and I could get! Now I need a moment to make sure he has the right song. He doesn't understand english that well." Yang said, then grabbed said player by the back of his shirt, leaving Ruby and Tai standing.

"So...Canada's not real? Then where did Ein go? I miss that old Corgi. He would love Zwei!"

"Um...ya see Ruby...um…." Tai trailed off. God, how did he break this to Ruby?

* * *

"A MARIACHI PLAYER WAS THE BEST COVER YOU HAD!?" Yang whispered-yelled at the Arc in disguise

Jaune shrugged "Hey if it ain't broke, don't fix it! It worked on you!"

"What do you mean it worked on m-you son of bitch, that was you?!" Yang growled "You know what that doesn't matter, because now we have to get you through graduation intact."

"And what's your plan?"

"Wait, I thought you had a plan?!"

Jaune scratched his head "12% sounded like a lot more in my head"

Yang facepalmed. " Alright...know any Spanish Tunes?"

Thankfully, for both Jaune and Tai (Weiss vouched that the father was spared from a horror later) an announcement rang through the speaker system.

" _May all students please report to the auditorium? Graduation will begin in 30 minutes. Do not be late. Also, on a side note, if any parents sees any graffiti on campus of the...male type...report it to Professor Goodwitch as soon as possible. Thank you."_

"Well that's convenient" Jaune said, heading off towards the auditorium..or at least, he thought so.

"Wait, what do I tell my old man!?" Yang called out to Jaune.

"Come up with something!"

* * *

"-And that's why the mariachi player had to cancel." Yang finished explaining to Tai. Jaune said she had to give a story, so she gave her dad one all right...Don't mess with the Yang or you're gonna end in a bang.

"Wow. I can't believe he had to go bail the rest of his band from border patrol." Tai commented.

"Yeah, now Dad,Yang and I REALLY need to get to graduation...Like, right now…"

Tai slapped his head "Oh yeah, you girls go ahead! I'll be in the first row!"  
Yang and Ruby ran ahead, racing towards the auditorium. "So, wonder how long dad's gonna be till he realizes that Rose and Xaio Long come in the last of the alphabet Yang said while grinning.

"Yang! That wasn't very nice!" Ruby said, attempting to scold her, but failing

"Heh, I can't help it, my last chance to give dad grief as his little girl."

* * *

Tai stood in the courtyard, feeling a sense of pride. His girls had grown so much. Now if he could only remember where the auditorium was….wait, what did Ozpin say about male type...wait, did that mean...no, she wouldn't, Tai raised her better than that.  
Turning the corner, Tai looked over for the map of Beacon, only to see that over the glass casing, a huge dick was spray painted over it.

"GOD DAMNIT YANG!"

* * *

At last, graduation was here. The room was filled to the brim with proud teachers, crying parents, observing citizens, and nostalgic veteran hunters. The chatter in the hall fell to silence as Ozpin walked up to the microphone and started his speech.

"I'll… make this brief… I forged this generation, with a dream. To make the guardians of humanity, that would not only defend humanity from the evils of the grimm, but correct the mistakes of past generations, mine included. I am proud to say, that I can proudly pass the baton of the world's protection, to this new age of hunters and huntresses. I'll now have the Valedictorian, Ms Nikos, take over from here." Ozpin finished, fixing his glasses, then walking off stage, as Pyrrha approached the mike where Ozpin left it.

"Before I start, I would first like to thank the teachers of Beacon for teaching us all so much. From Dr Oobleck's lessons of history we can learn from the mistakes of the past. From Professor Goodwitch, we learned the values of discipline and combat, and with Professor Port...We learned patience. So thank you, all so much for your time and effort. We as the students, can only give you our deepest gratitude for all you gave to us." At this, Glynda started rubbing her eyes.

"Glynda, my dear, are you crying" Oobleck asked her

The deputy headmistress merely shook it off "I'm not crying. I merely just caught something in my eye. Now hush she is still talking!"

Pyrrha continued her speech "Beacon will always be our home, a place to many that served as a new start, where either a champion fighter could meet the hero descendent, where the past was the past but as this chapter closes, another opens. Destiny is calling each one of us, to do our part, to make Remnant a better place. So we stand together, as a Beacon of hope for the future!"

"THAT'S MY GIRL P-MONEY" a voice called out from the student section  
"GOD DAMNIT YANG!" another voice hollered from the parent section.

Finish her speech as the audience erupted into applause, Pyrrha walked off stage, Glynda taking her place.

"Thank you very much Ms Nikos, and both Xiao Long's, if I hear anymore from both of you, I will deal with you personally after this." She said, glaring daggers at both blondes. "Now, I will begin to hand out your diplomas. It will begin in alphabetical order, so please be patient. Let us begin."

Meanwhile, in the family section, the Arc clan, or more accurately, Solheim Arc was in a state of excitement.

"My little boy is about to become a hunter!"

Joan and Aurum, however, where trading looks

"Should we tell her now?"

"Nah, if our brother's luck is anything, then it should happen in 3…"

Glynda cleared her throat. "Now to begin the list"

"2"

"May I get Jaune Arc. leader of JNPR, to receive his diploma"

Jaune felt himself filled with pride. Walking up, he took his diploma from Professor Goodwitch, and shook her hand. However, he felt like he was forgetting something…

"And 1"

As if on cue a loud"YOU DAUGHTER DEFILING BASTARD" Tai roared, bolting on stage "YOU KNOCKED UP MY PRECIOUS ROSE!"

Joan turned to her mother, only to see that her eyes have dilated to a predator like glare.

"Get me my frying pan…" She gritted, the Fearsome Arc of Death returning to action.

As Jaune ran off stage for his life, Tai and his mother most likely behind him, he only had one thought.

 _YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT QROW!_

* * *

Ozpin stood by the window, his mug in hand. The graduation always left him in a bittersweet mood. To see the next generation move forward filled him with a sense of pride, but also filled him with regret, knowing that not everyone in the room would return over the years, but that was just a possibility, and as much as he hated to say it, these students, were no longer the children that first entered his school four years ago. Now they were warriors, trained to fight and die so that others may live.

"Let me guess, you're brooding Oz"  
"And you've been drinking." Ozpin said, turning around to see Qrow, his silver flask in hand.

"You kiddin? I'd be crazy not too, what with all the chaos going on out there." The ashen haired huntsman said as he took a drain from his flask. "Poor Jonah-"

"Jaune"

"Whatever, anyway, the poor kid's probably having his balls torn off simultaneously by both his mother and Tai. Poor kid won't stand a chance."

Ozpin took a long draw from his mug and groaned "Shouldn't you be down there stopping such a situation from happening?"

"Shouldn't you be down there as well?"

"I probably should be there…" Ozpin said "But something important came up. Besides whatever happens I'm sure Glynda can handle it. It's just that I've been wondering, did we really make the right choice with Mr. Arc? The knowledge of our inner circle. The last person we introduced turned on us, and Mr. Arc has a future with your niece. I truly don't want to send another one of Ms. Rose's loved ones to their death."

Qrow took a solid drain from his flask, but found it was empty. Letting out a sigh, Qrow put a hand on the old headmaster's shoulder. "Look, Oz. We've been over this, and we've all had our guilt on Summer's death. She knew damn well of the dangers, and no one could have made it on time to save her."

Sighing Ozpin looked at Qrow with a somber smile. "Yes… We can only move on and hope for the best, that the new generation will have the wisdom not to make the same mistakes as the last."

* * *

Mercury sat at the bar, the stench of alcohol strong on him. Work for him was hard after Cinder got taken out by the damn headmaster's pet bird. He was a mere shadow of his former glory, the large rise of caution caused him to practically hug the shadows. No more high end jobs, no more big purchases, he didn't even have his former allies. His so called "friends" had hightailed it out when they saw the head of Cinder Fall fall to the reaper's falling scythe.

What good was an assassin when there was no one to assassinate?

Getting another drink from the bartender, Mercury let out a groan. His father had made him into a weapon, and here he laid, rusting in a bar drowning his regrets and misery with a bottle.

"Like father like son, it seems" Said a voice behind him.

Bolting up into a sloppy battle stance, Mercury turned to face the stranger. "Who the hell are you and how do you know my dear old dad!?" He shouted, his voice full of drunken rage.

"At ease assassin" Spoke the stranger, a tall masculine figure whose face was covered by a dark hood. "I mean you no harm. Only to bring to you an opportunity to change this...destructive path."

The silver haired boy let out a scoff "HA! Last person who said that kind of thing now has her head being used as some trophy, no doubt decorating someone's mantle."

The stranger shrugged this off. "I am nothing like your former boss. She was nothing more than a careless woman who manipulated her way to power. Calculating as she was, it did not save her. She could have had it all, but one slip up caused her demise at the hand of that blasted old bird, Qrow."  
Mercury rolled his eyes "Oh yes, and I assume you would do sooooooo much better, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Ominous?"

"I have several armed men surrounding all exits to this building. The bartender, as ordered by me, has slipped a mercury poison into your drink, that I have the cure to. Furthermore, I have several snipers in nearby buildings that have you in their sights. You are left with very few options, Mr. Black. I would suggest that you take my offer." The man stated.

Mercury eyes went wide in shock, but then quickly hid it. The first rule any assassin learns is to never let the client get you off guard; this is a show of weakness and in the underworld the showing of weakness can and, most likely, will get you killed. "Yeah, and how do I know you're not bullshiting me? Any fool can bluff"

"And any person with a brain knows when to show a flush. Oh by the way, you should feel the poison kicking in right about...now" The man said, looking at his watch.

Mercury steeled himself, but then nothing happened. "Ha, I guess you were wrong, jacka-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" Mercury was cut off as his chest exploded in pain. Curling on the floor in pain, Mercury gritted his teeth. He refused to let this asshole get the best of him.

"Hmm...Guess the lack of legs must have messed with the transfer of the poison into the bloodstream. Anyway, Time is ticking . You can either join me and see yourself make history, or die in pain, on the floor of a bar, with no allies to call your own. The choice is yours."

Mercury groaned in pain. Being Cinder's little lapdog had some fun to it, but look where that got him. Then again, this man obviously knew how to get an edge over a person, and his options were rapidly decreasing.

"FINE!" Mercury spat out. "I'll be your little soldier, just give me the damn cure!"

Mercury couldn't see it, but he bet the man was probably grinning as he drew a vial from his cloak. "Right choice Mr. Black." He said as he handed it to Mercury. Spitting out the cork, the assassin downed it all in one gulp like a man drinking water after coming out of a month in a desert. The pain slowly fading, Mercury stood up.

"Alright asshole, just don't pull that shit on me ever again, or I will fucking kill you"

The man turned towards the door "Oh trust me, as long as you follow orders, you won't ever find yourself looking down the barrel of a gun. Now come along, Mr. Black, I have some associates that I believe you're rather familiar with…"

'Well, down the rabbit hole and into goddamn hell itself.' Mercury thought while following the man out the door, leaving the bar empty

* * *

 **Omake: The Beacon SUPER SLAM Steel Cage BOOTS TO ASSES!**

Ozpin looked and the filled stands. This was a great idea for a fundraiser, and Glynda couldn't tell him otherwise. This was a brilliant idea; just have the students do what they do best and have them pay to watch and televise themselves beating the crap out of one another in an over the top bragging way.

"Ozpin, out of all your ideas, this one is by far the worst one yet" Glynda said from behind Ozpin as the tall man took a sip from his ever present coffee mug.

"The only bad ideas are the ones that are never tried. Now do you have any bets Glynda?" Ozpin merely stated.

The huntress let out a groan and muttered under her breath

"10 lien on Ms Xiao Long"

"Welcome students to the event that happens only once in a lifetime, the first ever Beacon SUPER SLAM" Oobleck announced from his PR box, Port sitting right next to him.

"Yes indeed, and what a fight we have today. In one corner we have the young knight of Beacon, dubbed lady killer by the female crowd, descended from a line of legendary warriors. This man will defend his short title of Beacon Super Slam champion this night in the ring as he takes on 6 fellow students in a steel cage chutes and ladders and put boots to asses! AND HIS NAME IS JAUNE CENA!'

A blast of horns started playing as the lights focused on Jaune, who still seemed to be lost. What exactly did the Arc agree to?

"Hey, so where do I get my weapons?" Jaune asked looking around the arena

Ozpin, who was acting as referee, looked to Jaune. "You will not be using any weapons. Only your natural talents."

Jaune thought about this. It couldn't be all that bad, he did learn unarmed combat form Pyrrha, who could kick Cardin's ass like it was nothing, so it couldn't be that bad… However, his thoughts were interrupted as Port began to announce his opponent.

"AND in the other corner, enters his Opponent. The Blonde Brawler,

The Raging Canadian,

The Golden Fister,

The Pundertaker,

The Nutcracker,

The one, the only,

MACHO HUNTRESS YANGRY SAVAGE!"  
With a sudden burst and an "OH YEAH!", Yang broke through the ceiling, landing in the arena, the crowd silent except for a slow clap and a guy calling out "Super hero landing!" from the back of the stands. She was wearing a large bandana covering her scalp, and wore large sunglasses, and seemed…hyped to say the least.

"What" Jaune merely stated, his mind still try to understand what was going on.

"Let me tell you something, Jaune Cena, Oh Yeah" Yang stated, a certain kick in her voice as she walked up to Jaune. "The Macho Huntress is gonna take you down, oh yeah, because I'm the light that comes out of the toaster when a bread is toasted, you have the crust and you got the bread but you don't got the macho huntress, so you don't have anything at all, OH YEAH!"

"What?"

"But that's not all, oh yeah, I'm the cream of this league, oh yeah, and I'm gonna rise above the rest, because I'M THE CREAM OF THE CROP!" Yang threatened, as the crowd seemed to explode with excitement.

"What?" The poor Arc asked.

"Alright, any questions before the match begins?" Ozpin asked to the two

Jaune raised his hand "Um, yes, what is –"

"THEN LET THE MATCH BEGIN!"

Ozpin seemly disappeared out of the ring, leaving a confused Jaune. Looking around the only thing the Arc saw was a hyped up Yang…who was cracking her knuckles. Oh Oum he hoped his aura would help him live through the slaughter that was about to happen.

Turns out, it did. Yang literally ending up tiring herself out on flashy attacks that consumed nearly all her aura, leaving her too tired to fight, causing the match to end in a draw. Yang came out looking exhausted and Jaune…well Jaune's face looked like a it had been used as batting practice for the entire Vale Griffball Team, The Orange Bellied Bastards. Getting out of the ring, Jaune looked around frantically, calling out into the crowd.

"ADRIAN- I MEAN RUBY!"

Jaune was immediately tackled to the ground by said huntress, in a bear hug, followed by a yelp of pain from him and a sorry from Ruby.

As the crowd began to explode, the headmaster turned to his assistant.

"That's 10 lien you own me Glynda." Ozpin said, the ghost of a grin on his face as he sipped from his signature mug.

Glynda facepalmed and rolled her eyes.

Afterwards, Oobleck and Port stood outside the arena, asking questions to the audience. Holding a microphone up to one his students, Ms. Belladonna, they asked her a question.

"Ms. Belladonna, what are your opinions on the fight tonight?" Port asked, stroking his mustache with pride.  
Blake merely glared, annoyed by being distributed from her reading. Finally grabbing the microphone, she simply spoke "Wrestling is fake" dropped the mike, then walked away, leaving both teachers with their mouths hanging open. They were even more shocked to see the Macho Huntress come in and pick up the fallen microphone.

"Um… MS. Yangry Savage, do you have anything to say on tonight?" Oobleck asked the blonde brawler, only to be taken back by a loud shout from Yangry Savage.

"I HAVE BEEN CHEATED! OH YEAH! I HAVE BEEN CHEATED BY THE HEADMASTER OF BEACON HIMSELF!"

* * *

 **1: Jaune's mom's name is french for sun. I would have tried yellow in french, but turns out, IT IS JAUNE! YET ANOTHER SNEAKY COLOR NAME RT! First Weiss Schnee being Snow White in German, now this! I'm onto you….**

 **2: Coeur Al'Aran is the writer to the famous fanfic, 'Professor Arc'. I personally find it to be the most hilarious RWBY fanfic I've read, and just couldn't resist writing him in as the Gylnda's predescor. What happened to him for Glynda to replace him, you might ask? The answer is simply …[insert to be continued]**

 **AN: BTW, I wrote this all to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up.**

 **GET RICKROLLED!**

 **BetaReaderNote: This has been very fun to write. While LW was listening Never gonna give you up while writing I was listening to a very different song: Discord by Eurobeat Brony. Also did you know that apparently the word fandom is actually short for fanatic domain? I'm just gonna put this out there while we are on the subject of Coeur Al' Aran, my personal favorite of his stories is 'Not This Time Fate'.**


	15. Chapter 14 I can't decide

**Chapter 14: I can't decide….If you should live or should die**

 **Disclaimer** **: I have many things. A boomstick. A manly facial scar. Today, I will face my foe, and I will gain the rights to RWBY!  
** _ **6 seconds later**_

 **They dropped a bullhead on me. HOW THE HELL DID RT DO THAT! I don't own the rights to RWBY.**

 **AN: *Brakes into a random happy dance* WHOOO HOOO! 9 Months to Live has just became the most favorited Lancaster fic, making me the unofficial leader of Team LANC (Lone=L, make this a legit team, Lancaster writers.) For some reason, you people decided that my writing isn't complete and utter crap, and now look! Number one of the Lancaster baby! *Walks up to the invisible podium* I'll make my speech brief.**

 ***Takes a deep breath***

 **Hail Schnydra**

 **Wait… you mean its not? Forged Destiny beat us? But it only only has four chapte-oh the writer of Professor Arc wrote it. Well, only one thing to do now.**

 ***Rips off usual NCR ranger armor to reveal green jumpsuit* YOU ARE NOW MY ETERNAL RIVAL**

 **YOUUUUUTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
*Jumps out window***

 **But in all seriousness, thank you very much. I'm happy to say this fic was (at one point) the lead fic of the Lancaster fleet of shipping, but hey, I had my run, and by god am I happy with it.**

 **On a separate note, HOLY CRAP Volume 4! The designs, the Grimm, and the disappointment of not seeing if JN(insert x'd out P)R got new designs. Looks like not much has changed though. Yang's still in her Yangsty phase, Weiss is now literally Elsa *eye twitch* and Blake is now has successfully become the anti hero, trench coat and all. But no. All the hype.**

 **Now onto questions**

 **One person asked why Mercury was out of work. Well for starters, working with Cinder was in the longshot, a gamble. He was all in, or all out. And since Cinder fell (heh) Mercury's reputation as an assassin hit the drain, and so did the need of an assassin. With the Fall of Cinder (heh heh) the crime would be halted to a near stand still. The best he could do over the next 3 years was get low class jobs as a simple thug. None of the high paying assassinations.**

* * *

"-Ruby Ro-"

Not even letting Glynda finnish, Ruby used her semblance to grab her diploma, then made a beeline straight to the headmaster's office. After her father and Mrs. Arc's… outburst, Jaune jumped out cafeteria and ran as fast as he could; her dad and his mom hot in pursuit. It was at that point Glynda snapped, threatening any student or adult who got out of line until after graduation ended. Therefore as soon as she got her diploma, she made sure to find the few people who could talk some sense to her father.

Entering the Office, she did not expect to see both Uncle Qrow and Ozpin looking at her with the same calm smile.

"Uncle Qrow, Headmaster Ozpin, I need your help! Dad found Jaune at graduation and kinda told Jaune's mom by mistake-who we were totally gonna tell after graduation- and now he's being chased by dad and I really don't want dad or his mom to kill him! So please-please-please help him!"

Ozpin took a sip of his coffee "I'm sorry Ms Rose, but as you are no longer my student. I can no longer interfere in your lives."  
"And Tai will just punch me in the face for being drunk as usual."  
"Are you drunk?"

"Is the moon shattered?"

"Fair point."

Qrow paused for a sec, then looked to his niece with a gleam in his eye that worried her. "Hey Ruby, I got an idea…" He said, standing up off Ozpin's desk "We can't interfere, can we?"  
"Indeed" Ozpin said "After **him,** the council banned any involvement a headmaster has in a hunter's life once they graduate."

"Well, would a former teacher and family member offering a suggestion count as involvement, Ozzy?" Qrow said with a smirk plastered on his face.

The grey haired headmaster allowed himself a small smile "I do not believe so Qrow"  
"Well than, little niece oh mine, here's what I suggest you two do" Qrow said, leaning towards Ruby and whispering something into her ear.

"What?" Ruby said her eyes in shock "I would never do that! That's so mean!"  
"It's called a bluff, sweetheart. Try it sometimes. Preferably soon before Glynda has to clean your boyfriend's blood off the front yard."

"He's not m-" Ruby started but then stopped. What were Jaune and her? And what did happen that night? The two were always gonna be best of friends, but the party and the dance really changed things. She really needed to bring this up to Jaune...oh wait...Jaune...who was currently running for his life from his mom and her dad.

"ThankYouGottaGoNowBYE!" Ruby said before rocketing out of the room at full speed, leaving behind the usual trail of rose petals. The two adults stood in the room quite.

Ozpin finally spoke "So, when are you going to reveal your current relationship with your family?"

Qrow burst into laughter "HA! You honestly think I'm dumb enough to let Tai in on any relationship I'm in?" The man is Mr Steal-yo-girl incarnate."

* * *

Running. Why does it always have to be running?

Jaune Arc was seriously beginning to think he was cursed.

Dodging the occasional gunshot, park benches flying at high velocity, and of course, the frying pan.

Why did these things happen to him?  
By now, Taiyang Xaio Long and his mother were trying to kill him. Okay, maybe putting off telling his mother about him and Ruby was a bad idea. Okay, scratch that, it was possible the 2nd dumbest thing he ever done. Number one would always go to giving Nora that special sugary syrup for Burniemas.

Worst.

Idea.

Ever.

Seriously not kidding, JNPR's dorm walls were about 90% spackle because of the energetic ginger. However, his thoughts were cut short as a fist hit his gut hard followed by the cold sting of iron making contact with his face that could only be the feared frying pan of horror.

The poor knight went sailing across the front lawn until hitting the statue in the front of Beacon, leaving a Jaune shaped dent in it. Glynda was gonna kill him for that...oh wait, he was already dead.

The blonde looked in front of him to see the two veteran hunters close in on him, looking at him with a face that could easily make a grimm wet itself, coming in for the kill.

"Any last words, you daughter defiling bastard?" Taiyang said, cracking his fists, Jaune visibly cringing at each crack, knowing from his eldest child that a Xaio Long fists knocked on death's door for you.

"Uhmmm….Well…"

However, his mother quickly cut the knight off. "Jaune" She said it in a simple tone, but Jaune knew this meant hell. His mom was never one to get angry, but when she snapped, she would first have an outburst of pure rage, then what followed was a catalyst of pain and calculated suffering.

Taiyang pulled back a punch, golden flames forming around it in the shape of a lion. Jaune closed his eyes. This was it. RIP. To his two unborn children, he wished them good luck and that they knew that he loved them dearly; to Ruby, regret for never getting the opportunity to tell her how much she meant to him. Jaune braced himself for the end.

Huh. The end smelled like rose petals. Now that Jaune thought about it, Mr. Xaio Long would have hit him by now. Cracking one eye open, he was shocked to see Ruby standing in front of him, with the rest of RWBY and JNPR holding his mom and Tai back.

"STOP!" Ruby cried out

Tai looked at his daughter "Move out of the way Ruby. Daddy is busy…"

"Dad...listen" Ruby all but pegged, giving her father her cutest puppy pout.

It took the veteran hunter all he had to not look Ruby in the eye and succumb, but justice had to be done. Nobody, and he meant nobody, messed with his youngest daughter. Not after Summer…"Ruby, leave here now, and call off your friends. You too Yang" Tai said, his eyes full of conviction.

Yang rolled her eyes to this and gave her old man a quick jab to the ribs "Dad, you're being an overprotective asshole. Trust me, I would know"

"GOD DAMN IT YANG"

Team JNPR was having just as much trouble. For all the strength Nora had, she was visibly having trouble holding Mrs. Arc in the lock she had her in and that was with Pyrrha helping her with the broken bits of the statue bent to help restrain the raging mother. All the while Ren was trying to offer the mother some herbal tea to help calm her and bring order back to the present.

Ruby took a deep breath "Alright. Fine go ahead. Beat and/or kill Jaune" She said.

At this Jaune, Tai, and Soliel looked at Ruby with shock "What?"

Jaune shook and fear "What are you doing Ruby?"

Ruby looked at him "Trust me just roll with it." She said to the knight before turning to the raging parents "As I was saying...Go ahead. Do what you will. But just know how this all happened. We were both dragged to a senior party by a decidedly unnamed individual-"

Tai squinted his eyes "It was Yang wasn't it?"

"I cannot answer that question. As I was saying, we went to this party, both Jaune and I, and we had a good time...we think. Ya see, turns out that someone, who shall be unnamed-"

"Yang again"

"Oh come on, you have no proof it was me!" Yang proclaimed, but was shushed by her sister.

"-had alcoholic beverages. Due to this we ended up getting really drunk, which is why we don't have much memory of what happened that night, and stuff happened and we ended up doing it"

A moment of silence fell over the group. The tension in the area was at an all time high. It was all silent. Nobody knew what was gonna happen-

"Guess you could say they were _drunk_ on love!" Yang said, grinning like an idiot as everyone groaned and slammed their head.

"God damn it Yang" Tai said weakly, dropping Jaune by the collar, before beginning to weakly laugh. Mrs. Arc herself actually let herself indulge in a small chuckle, and before they knew it, everyone was weakly laughing.

Finally calming down, Mrs. Arc embraced her son. Not in a death hug, but instead a kind motherly embrace that managed to relieve Jaune of all the stress from his years at Beacon, and the pressure he felt. His need to be a hero, the whole Cardin blackmail fesico, running to Vaccuo in order to hide from Yang's wrath, and now this...

His mother finally stepping back, she looked her son in the eye. "Jaune…"

And then immediately whacked him upside the head with a frying pan.

"OWWWWWWW"

Cracking her knuckles, Soleil looked at Jaune with a serious look "That was trying to hide this from your family Jaune. If you just would have explained to us straight from the start, none of this would have happened." She lectured him while Jaune rubbed the already present bump on his head.

"Yes Mom...ow" Jaune

"Good." She said and then turned to Ruby. "Well, Ruby, I'm more than willing to help with the child, having raised 8 myself, numbskull included."

Ruby shrugged "nah, I think me and Jaune can handle 2-" She said not realizing the slip.

Everyone looked at her as Jaune face palmed. "Wait, 2?" The whole courtyard seemed shocked at the statement.

Ruby blushed and looked to her feet "Yeah...Surprise...I guess…"

Yang brought her and Jaune into a massive bear hug "Oh, Congrats you two! I'm gonna be an Aunt of two little socially doomed kids!"

"Hey! We aren't that awkward" Jaune said

"Yeah you are"

"Yeah, we are"

Soleil grabbed the group hug into her own embrace "I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMOTHER OF THE MOST ADORABLE KIDS EVER!"

Tai stood to the side. He would not. Someone had to be a man here-

"Come on Silly get in there" A energetic voice said behind him. The next thing he knew, he was picked up and thrown into the group hug like a chunk of meat to a pack of wolves.

' _Maybe_ ' thought Tai ' _I could let this whole grandfather thing grow on me'_

* * *

Mercury followed the mysterious hooded jackass as best as he could. Paranoid bastard gave him the shortest fucking leash, literally having him wrap a strip of cloth around his eyes so he couldn't give away the location to anyone. Though, to be fair, letting the guy you just poisoned run around wasn't the brightest of ideas.

"You can take it off now, Mr. Black." The man said, his voice echoing.

Taking off the strip of cloth, Mercury looked around. They were in some sort of warehouse or bunker. Tall ceilings, concrete floors, and enough crates to be a storage facility..or in this case, a weapon stockpile. Soldiers were everywhere, either practicing their shooting, running drills, or running a tight lookout. With all his years of assassin training, Mercury knew that those soldiers were highly trained and each would have equalled 3 regular men in combat. They weren't quite hunter level, but with the sheer numbers it would pose a major threat.

"So, you kidnap-no sorry,'Recruit' me into your little boy scout troop, Wow aren't you Boss of the year" Mercury said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Honestly, he didn't care anymore about getting in this guy's good graces. Being poisoned would do that. "So what's this big thing you need me to do!"

"One, I am your commanding officer. You will address me as either Captain or Sir. Show some discipline. I will not have this kind of behavior in this operation. Two, you will be breaking into a prison in Atlas to retrieve a valuable asset. This is a Covert Ops mission, and as such, any detection is unacceptable. You will be supplied a small drop ship that will fly over the prison, and will be able to pick you and your partner up two miles south of the prison as it will be hidden behind the mountains." The Captain addressed Mercury as he pulled out a scroll, showcasing the layout of the prison.

"Whoa whoa whoa, Partner?" Mercury fumed "I don't do partners"

"Until now you didn't. I think you'll find this one familiar. Ms. Sustrai, come in"

On cue, the familiar green haired thief walked into the room, dressed in a black and camo green stealth outfit.

"Hello Mercury" Emerald said, looking the assassin dead in the eye

Mercury just stood there looking at her for a solid minute, silence filling the room with an awkward tension. Finally, it was broken.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Mercury yelled, jumping at Emerald and tackling her to the ground. However, after beating the thief for a good minute, However something seemed off…

"Told you he was an edgy asshole"

Turning around, Mercury saw Emerald walking into the room and standing next to Captain. Looking down, he saw that he was beating a mere foot soldier. Damn these illusions.

"You done with your little outburst?" The Captain said, his tone dry and impatient

Mercury rolled his eyes, and gave the poor soldier one last good kick "Fine...but what's she doing here"

"I'm here because this guy thinks its a good idea to pair you and I up for this mission. Afterall we worked sooo well together before" Emerald deadpanned.

The Captain seemed unfazed by the skepticism " Both you and Ms. Sustrai have shown that when you two do work together, there is little the work between an assassin and a thief can't accomplish. Which is why I have both of you working on this vital mission. Now ready yourselfs if needed, and be back here within an hour. Oh, and failure is not an option." And with the, the man walked out of the room

"Who shoved a pole up his ass?" Mercury commented

"Just shut up and get ready, you'd better not mess this up for us."

* * *

 **Omake: RWBY and the quest for the holy grail**

Ruby sat at the RWBY cafeteria table, bored, and picking her nose with little interest. It was a slow day…

"Stop picking your nose you dolt" Weiss said slapping Ruby's hand away from her nose before going back to her sandwich.

"It's just so boring right now! There is nothing to do; classes are out because it is the weekend, Yang and Blake are out shopping in Vale, and Team JPNR is out on a mission" Ruby complained "I just wish something interesting would happen"

"Attention Students, would Miss Rose please report to Ozpin's office. I repeat Ms. Rose please report to Ozpin's office." a voice said over the comms system

Weiss turned to glare at Ruby, but before she could get a word out Ruby shouted "Before you say anything I just want you to know that I didn't do anything wrong and I have no idea why I am being called up to Ozpin's office."

"Yeah yeah I believe you. Just go, it is best not to keep Ozpin waiting for long." Weiss replied after sighing

"Thanks Weiss! I'll try to be back soon!" Ruby said before she ran off to see what she was called to Ozpin's office for.

Reaching the elevator to Ozpin's office Ruby pushed the button then started tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for the elevator to arrive. Every minute here was another minute out of her cookie time. Eventually the elevator arrives and Ruby zips in and pushes the button for Ozpin's office. She rides the elevator up and when the doors open into Ozpin's office she steps out. The first thing she notices upon doing so is that Ozpin is looking out the window with his back to her and that Professor Oobleck was sitting in one of the chairs in front of Ozpin's desk.

"You wanted to see me Professor Ozpin?" She asked while walking up to his desk

"Ah yes Ms. Rose thank you for coming here so quickly. Please take a seat. I called you here because I have a mission for you and your team. One that was requested by Doctor Oobleck here." Ozpin said as he turned around to face Ruby and Oobleck.

"Yes Girls!" Rambled out the green haired doctor as he blurred across the room, setting up a large maps and charts "My calculations have have led me to believe that by calculating the exact time period and location from the bible of Oum, I have discovered the resting spot of the Holy Grail of Oum himself! I find this shocking discover...SHOCKING!"

Ruby merely looked in confusion "Whaaaa?"

Ozpin raised his glasses "Ms. Rose, the Holy Grail is an artifact so potent, that it is said to make the most perfect coffee."

Oobleck joined in "Indeed! Just the right amount of sugar, cream, and caffeinated goodness! It is said that one sip can restore a man from any injury or loss of sleep!"

"Yes, it is truly an artifact needed Ms. Rose. For us...and the rest of Remnants of course" Ozpin dismissed "But we need you to get a team together to find this legendary relic."

And so, Huntress Ruby went to form her hunters of the long lunch table, Including Sir Yang of the Sun...or was it pun? The weiss cold warrior that is Huntress Weiss, The Black Panther Huntress Blake, the Amazon Champion, Huntress Pyrrha, The Lady (QUEEN!) Nora of pancakes, and her hunter Ren of the Sloths (Really Nora?) and the brave Hunter Jaune, who heroically ran away and the battle of Atlas, who bravely nearly wet himself on the fields of terror, and courageously screamed like a little girl in the flight of the Emerald Forest.

"Ruby, why are we using coconuts instead of horse?" Jaune asked the reaper as they 'galloped' through the forest, leading their two teams.

"That's because Ozpin didn't give me enough lien to get horses...That, and I spent most of it on cookies. WORTH IT!" Ruby replied as she chomped into a large cookie that she pulled from her large back, which the knight swore he saw shake and bark. Oh well.

"Ah ok then, Ozpin always was a cheap bastard." Jaune replied understandingly "So, where exactly are we heading?

"We...are heading…." Ruby paused for effect "TO A BOXED OFF CANYON!"

Weiss looked up from the back "What? We are not going to a boxed off canyon! Why would something as important as the Holy Grail be stuck in it! It doesn't even hold any strategic advantage!

"Well the map says so! Right here!" Ruby said, pointing to the spot on the ancient piece of parchment. "Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1 in the Valhalla forest."

"Why does that sound familiar?"

"CHURCH! CHURCH! LOOK, I FOUND THIS COOL LOOKING SIPPY CUP IN THE WOODS!" Caboose yelled across the forest, waving an ancient looking mug around.

Church on the other hand, was tired, exhausted, pissed as hell, and as usual, debating whether to leave Caboose to the grimm. "For the last time Caboose…. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"  
"Okay best friend!"  
"YOU'RE NOT MY BEST FRIEND!" Church yelled before storming off.

Caboose stood in the forest, holding the old cup. "Oh well" He said, tossing the thing off the cliff, the cup falling into a river, and begin to chase after a butterfly that caught his eye. So the blue hunter pursued the poor insect, until bumping into a group of people banging coconuts together while pretending to gallop.

The one in the front, a young woman with short black hair with red highlights, looked at a piece of paper, while a tall scrawny blonde man argued with her

"Ruby, we're in the middle of nowhere!"

"But I followed the map exactly as it is!"

A white haired girl spoke up from the back of the line "You probably read it wrong you dolt!"

"Hey!"

"Hello!" Caboose said, the entire group turning to him, finally noticing him.

"Um...Hello?" The girl in the front said hesitantly

"Can you tell us where we are? It's very important hunter bussines" Said the tall blonde.

"OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE HAMSTERS!? I'm training to be one!" Caboose said, his face filled with joy

"What" The pale one in the back deadpanned.

"Look, My name is Ruby Rose, and this is Jaune Arc" Ruby said, gesturing towards said blonde "And we're looking for the Blood Gulch Canyon in Valhalla Forest. Can you test where we are?"

"Okay! You're here!"

"Nonono, what is here?"

"Where we are!"

The white haired girl walked in front of Ruby "Let me take care of this, as a Schnee, I've dealt with dolts before."She then turned to Caboose "My name is Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Co. As such, I demand you tell us or exact location and the name of this forest!"

"Okay mean ice lady!" Caboose said with the same optimistic tone

"HEY!"

"You're in Flood Gulp Crayon in the Vale hall forest!"

Weiss stood there, her face in frozen. Ruby waved her hand in front of her, but got no reaction.

"Weiss? Weiss?" She said, shaking the Schnee

Finally, the ice queen snapped out of it. "Sorry. just ...too much...stupidity"

"Thank you. Now, have you happen to seen a cup that looks like this?" Jaune asked, pulling out a peice of parchment that had a near identical picture of the mug Caboose had found earlier.  
"Yup! I threw it off a cliff though since it was boring."

"."

"."

"."

" **WHAT"**

* * *

 **AN: Silly, me almost forogt, Want more of my Red vs Blue shenanigans from the world of RWBY? Then check out my side story Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, a story dedicated directly to the idiots and assholes we know and love**

 ***Cinema sin ding: Obvious advertising is obvious***

 **OH COME ON!**


	16. Chapter 15 Should I stay or should I go?

**Chapter 15 Should I stay or should I go**

 **Disclaimer : Well, I think I'll just casually stroll by an-SURPRISE! *Leaps for the rights to RWBY but gets tased by the electric gate***

 **I don't own the rights to RWBY.**

 **AN : Annnnnnd there. Sorry about the slower chapter updates. And my casual fuck up in the beginning of first uploading the wrong doc. For those who know nothing of this, good! Stay oblivious. The long updates have been a mixture of me procrastinating like nothing, me trying to improve the quality of each chapter, and writing 3 other stories on top of school work. Once again, consider the flight of Jaune is over, we can now begin to transition to the next part. The actual plot. All trouble from the (grand)parents will, for the most part, be gone. As I recall, there's still one person angry who's name rhymes with Food Bitch! Also, seriously lancaster writers, make team LANC a thing.  
** **Lone Wanderer  
** **Anonymous Prick  
** **N  
** **Context, it makes sense  
** **Now to the chapter! *Jumps out window***

 **Meep Fanmeepster: Seriously, we need to get stronger windows.**

* * *

Flying in a ship with someone who left you hanging out to dry, for several hours to a high level Atlas prison, as it turned out, was extremely awkward. Emerald and Mercury both refused to talk to one another for the most of the flight to the Atlas prison, and it let to a very tense trip.

"So...what a have you been up to?" Emerald said cautiously.

"Nothing much" Mercury said, not making eye contact and seemingly intent on staring at the mountains as they passed over them.

Emerald was ticked at the assassin. She knew he would have still been angry from Cinder's fall, but now he was just being stubborn. They all had time to have their regrets. They needed to focus on the task at hand, after all both their lives depended on the mission's success.

The PA system crackled to life "We're approaching the drop site. Prepare to jump" addressed the pilot.

Emerald loaded her SMGs and Mercury finished the last calibrations for his deadly prosthetics. "Any Idea what we're breaking into a prison for?" Mercury as the doors opened, the cold wind blowing harshly, cutting into them.

Emerald merely shrugged "No idea. We just have a cell number and are told don't get caught. The Captain said anything else from there is up to us, just as long as we get out undetected and with the target alive."

"Great just, great" Mercury replied sarcastically "Do we even know where this cell is?"  
"Yeah, it's in the maximum security wing as for where in the maximum security wing it is, we'll have to find that out by sneaking into the prison archives room."

"Oh joy, even better it's in the maximum security wing and we don't know where in the wing it is! This target better be worth it" Mercury grumbled

"Yeah, it's gonna be a pain; I can tell that already, but there's no going back now. Come on let's jump before we run out of flight space." Emerald replies calmly before leaping out of the plane

"Yeah yeah I'm coming" Mercury says before jumping out as well.

Landing in the snow drift the two of them stand up and start to gather their bearings.

"You got the recall beacon?" Emerald asks

"Yeah I got it. What about you, do you have the jammers?"

"Of course I got them. We'll need them to deal with any electronics that we come across as we make our way through the facility. They aren't the sort of thing I would forget." Emerald said while scoffing.

"Ok then let's get moving we have to get in and out of that facility in less than 3 hours, otherwise the drop ship will leave without us." Mercury stated in a way that didn't leave much room for argument as he started walking towards the facility before stopping with face of realization. "So uhh how are we going to get in anyways?"

Emerald stops with a look of sudden realization as she realized that she had yet to fully grasp a plan together. When they did work together all those years ago, it was usually Cinder who schemed. She shrugged "I guess our best bet would be to use my illusions to knock out some guards undetected, then grab their clothes and armor, then one of us goes to find the archives to locate the cell, then move on to the security room, take out the guards, and tamper with the recording devices so that there is no recording of us ever being here and then finally make it to the cell, and leave with the target. If all goes well by the time that they notice something is amiss, we will be long gone."

"You know we probably should have done this on the way here." Mercury laminated before deciding to save any complaints he had and give'em right to Captain Asshole when they get back. He nodded his head, then proceeded to follow Emerald towards the prison walls. As they approached the prison walls they saw a patrol of three, two male and one female, soldiers walking and conversing along the outside of the walls.  
"-I swear man, I actually have a grimm cow trapped in a hole in the ground!" Said one of the men

"Oh come on, I call B.S. Ryan" Said the other male. "It's wrong to keep an a cow like that trapped in a hole, and let alone the fact that grimm cows don't exist!"

The other man, Ryan, rolled his eyes "Obviously you haven't looked hard enough to find a specimen like Edgar. Michael"  
"YOU NAMED IT EDGAR?"

Finally the female spoke up. "You two idiots shut up and focus! We have a job to do."

Ryan rolled his eyes "What job? All we ever do is stand here and talk! That's all we ever do!"

"Fine, if you two seem to think that, then you two can enjoy patrolling over the courtyard!"

"But there's nothing there!" whined Michael "All there is, is snow, snow, and more fucking snow!"

"Good" The female, probably a commanding officer, "then you wouldn't mind giving me a review over it!" She barked, and then walked out of the room, leaving the two guards wide open for the two rogues.

Silently communicating the two designated which one of the guards that they would take with Mercury sneaking up behind one and taking him out with a kick to the back of the head from his prosthetic leg, while Emerald took the second out by hitting the soldier in the back of the head. Ten minutes, after the two rogues have dumped the bodies and switched out their armors the female guard returns.

"Well, have finished your reports yet?" She asks in an intimidating manner

"Yeah, there is only just snow out there, nothing but snow and mountains" Mercury replies in a sarcastic manner.

"Fine that's good enough, let's go and get inside you two." She said while waving her hand towards the door

"Right let's do that" The two rogues replied and followed her through said door.

-Time skip-

"Alright, this seems to be the right cell, the Captain wanted us to get the prisoner and get out undetected" Emerald said as they finally approached their target.

"Well, time to crack this bad boy open, take whoever this asshat is, and never see you or the head asshat never again" Mercury said. Without another word, he slid the keycard through the slot, then opened the cell door to reveal…`No. HE DID NOT JUST GO THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT TO FREE-'

"Awh, the kids finally decided to free daddy! About time you goons decided to free me." Roman Torchwick commented as he saw the two enter his cell. The man himself had hardly changed over the years, although it was noted he looked skinnier than before.

Emerald looked as ticked off as her partner "This has got to be a mistake. There's no way he would want you…" she mumbled softly in a state and anger and shock

Torchwick waved his hands around "You two do know I'm right here, right?"

"This has got to be the wrong cell."  
"No, the numbers match exactly!"

"Then they must have moved him! No way Torchwick is our guy!"

Roman rolled his eyes "Ah, you two love me just as much as my own kids would love me if I had any. In all seriousness though, has it ever occurred to you two trigger happy thugs that I actually am usefull? Someone around here has to have a taste for subtle fashion; after all I know for sure that these soldiers and the person or people who designed this prison uniform certainly don't. I mean seriously, red and yellow stripes is just so gaudy looking and hard on the eyes. Now, what does Cinder want, and why the hell did she let me rot in jail for over 3 years!" He growled.

Emerald almost couldn't bring herself to look at Torchwick, and even Mercury felt a tinge of guilt. As much as he hated being out of a job, at least he wasn't in a cell, but then again Torchwick's rant removed a lot of the sympathy from his mind… "Torchwick...Cinder is dead. She's been dead just about as long you've been in jail." Emerald said slowly, trying not to piss off the thief.

Roman seemed quiet. Too quiet. No rage, no anger, no outrage. He seemed blank. Finally, he looked at the two, swallowing down the rush of emotions he was feeling right now "Well, if it's not Cinder, then who does want me, cause you two sure as hell didn't come here just because you missed me and my company." Roman asked. If he was getting back in the business, he wanted all cards on the table. He would not rot in jail again, he was Roman bloody Torchwick! He would not let himself be screwed over again.

"A man who goes by the name Captain. No, we do not know his real name, but he appears to be raising a small army, and an actual army at that, not just some angry faunus citizens and cheap goons with even cheaper guns" Emerald said.

"Sounds like a real stick up the ass and also don't knock on my men; some of them actually have good tastes in fashion." Roman said as Mercury broke off his cuffs.

"Oh, don't even get me started" The assassin growled

"Ooh, touchy subject Boot Boy. Though just so you know I can't leave this cell due to the prison implanting tracking chips in those who are under maximum security. If the sensor in the doorway detects me leaving this room alarms will go off throughout the facility.

"That will be a problem then, as we're not suppose to raise any alarms." Mercury laminated

"Wait! Mercury do you think that one of the jammers could block the signal from the chip?"

"You know, I think that might just work at the very least it is worth a try." Mercury commented before turning to Roman "Here hold this jammer, it should block the sensor's signals from bouncing off the chip."

"Ok let's go. We don't have all day to get you out of here." Emerald said as she left the cell.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming" Roman replied as he got up off the bench following her out of the cell.

The new trio quickly fled from the cold cell. Running around the corners, Emerald checked her watch. They've been here an hour and a half and there was the roughly hour long run over the mountain side to get to the landing zone where they could than signal the dropship to land and pick them up. Meaning that they only had about 30 minutes to get out and get to the mountains, or risk getting captured, hunted down by the captain's men, and worst of all, having to hear Roman and Mercury bitch about it. Pulling out the map of the prison that they had stolen earlier Emerald started to guide them out of the prison. Running past the corridors, Emerald used her semblance to cover up the three of them from the occasional guard, while Mercury using the scrambler hidden in his bionic legs to get them past the cameras. Roman, however, was unnaturally quiet, and it seemed to catch Emerald off guard. The criminal from the past would always make self-claimed witty remarks and insults, making both her and Mercury want to punch him square in the face. But he was quiet. And it worried her.

"Why are you so quiet?" Mercury asked vocalizing her thoughts for her as the small group navigated through the prison halls, avoiding contact with the guards.

"None of your business, Legbreaker." Roman retorted quickly. "And we need to stop at the inmate item storage. I have things vital to me in there."

"Like hell we are!" Mercury growled

"Oh, and how would you work if they locked you up and took your leg." Roman replied, which silenced the assassin pretty quickly "Good. Now shut up and get me there. I can deal with any of the locks if needed"

Emerald growled. This was not part of the plan, and they could barely afford to risk it. They needed to get the pickup point now, but if her memory of Torchwick told her anything it was that Roman was more stubborn than ass. "I think the storage might be on the ground floor, near the laundry area. If we hurry, we MIGHT just be able to retrieve your crap before we miss our window of time. Now move your ASS!"

Wasting no time, the group of criminals made their way to the storage in a hasty quiet manner. Finally checking the coast was clear, Roman pulled out a hairpin and begin to pick the lock, till a click was heard. Walking into the room, Roman quickly went through the storage units, putting aside a pile of valuables, most likely to pawn at a later time. However, Mercury saw the box he was looking for.

"Yo, old man, that it?" He said, pointing to a box labeled R. Torchwick.

"Thank you. Now come to daddy" He said, breaking it open to reveal his cane and original clothes, bowler hat included "Oh, daddy's missed you so!" He said, throwing off his prison garbs and quickly putting on his regular clothes, not caring about Roman and Emerald being in the room.  
"JESUS OLD GEEZER, WE'RE RIGHT BLOODY HERE! WE DO NOT NEED YOU STRIPPING!" Mercury yelled, covering his eyes

"Kid, you try being in a prison where privacy is nonexistent and having a sense of modesty." Roman snarked as he finished putting on his jacket "Ah that is much, much, much better!" He said, twirling his cane and placing his bowler hat upon his flame orange hair.

"Put your hands up now!"

Ah, crap.

Standing in the entrance to the storage, was a guard, his gun pointed a Roman "Stay right where you are, or I will open-"

The poor man never got the chance to finish his sentence, as a blade pierced his chest from behind. The man fell, revealing a short woman with pink and brown hair, holding an umbrella with a psychotic grin crossed her face.

"Neo! You little minx, I knew you were coming for me!" Roman said, sounding happy for the first time during this whole mission "What took you so long?"

Neo started at Roman, saying nothing, but Roman seemed to understand her much to Emerald and Mercury's confusion

"Well, that's understandable, they can be quite troublesome. No, I don't having any hard feelings. At least you tried Neo. More than these two have to say." Roman said, then turned to the duo "Now, before we leave this place, I want to make one thing clear. Neo stays a secret till I say kiddos. I don't like the sound of this Cap guy, and if I'm gonna be doing any business, I'm not going in without at least one ace up my sleeve, as gambling it all paid off sooo well last time."

Emerald snorted "Pfft, what makes you think you're in any place to bargain with us? We just broke you out of jail"

"That's where you're wrong. You got me out of my cell. What's to per say, stop me from alerting the guards and getting you two arrested? I would be more than happy to give you a taste of what I've been through these past few years"

Mercury eyes widened. That cocky little shit! If he would...but then a thought occurred to him. "Alright. Fine. We'll keep the midget a secret" He said as Neo frowned at him, crossing her arms.

"What?" Emerald said, looking at the assassin as if he were insane

"BUT" Mercury stopped her "We want a way out too. A whole contingency plan. I fucking hate this guy. Honestly, Cinder treated us better, and that bitch used the threat of disintegration like it was the next big thing. So if you plan on having a way out, we want in on it too."  
Roman paused for a bit, thinking it over. Finally, he spoke. "It will be hard, and I'll need you two to give me as loose as a leash as possible from this guy. But I might, MIGHT, be able to pull it off."

Emerald nodded "Alright, this is all fine and dandy, but aren't we forgetting something?"

Both men looked at her with a look of confusion.

"OUR WAY OUT! MOVE YOUR ASSES!"

"Alright, geeze." Roman complained "Neo, get yourself out of here. I'll meet up with you when I can. You know where."

Neo nodded and disappeared from the room. And with this, the Assassin, Thief, and Mobster escaped the prison.

* * *

 _1 week later._

Ozpin looked at the reports laid out on his desk, the main headlines varying but the point was the same

 _Roman Torchwick escapes prison after years of captivity._

Now normally, Ozpin would leave business like this to the police, seeing as the council had restricted his possible actions to that of teaching his students, giving hunters missions, and hunting Grimm, but this was far too suspicious to leave alone, seeing as how this had happened in a maximum security prison with an undisclosed location other than that it was in Atlas, and the fact that the only person who had escaped was Roman Torchwick and no one else. There was simply no way Roman could have done it alone, and Neapolitan, despite her best efforts, had yet to succeed in locating him over the years, let alone break him out, that's just how secure and secret the prison was. Nobody wanted to risk another Cinder. No, this breakout implied that it was orchestrated by someone with strong connections with the criminal underworld as well as knowledge from within the Atlesian military, likely even connections within the council of Atlas: if not the other three kingdoms as well. The problem was that the only known person who fit that description, Ms. Cinder Fall, was dead. This new breakout only seemed confirmed his fears that there was a new player in this twisted game and they don't seem to mean well. While the world government had hunted down many of Cinder's former allies and contacts, Qrow and himself playing key roles, the investigations were still ongoing, and with time, had become low priority in the eyes of the public. People like Emerald Suantrai and Mercury Black were still at large. Furthermore this new player is likely combining their own contacts with those that Cinder use to have. This reinforces the idea that his order NEEDS to find the remaining three maidens.

However, despite all this, Ozpin was glad to have some good news. The new Fall Maiden had been located, earlier this week, and was already transitioning into the role. Mr Arc and Ms Rose managed to make peace with both their parents, and if the Beacon rumor mill was to be true, they would be sending him 2 hunters in 17 years hopefully, and could begin on his new work with helping Qrow soon.

Pressing a button on his desk Ozpin opens up a contact menu. He needed to get the drunkard on Torchwick's case while it was still hot, and someone as experienced as the criminal knew how to cover his tracks well.

* * *

Jaune walked up to the cabin his parents had given him as a graduation president. The cabin itself was nothing to impressive, something each one of the Arcs lived in after graduation as their hunter career hits full stride. However, Jaune knew for a fact that he actually had no intention of leaving the cabin. It was a decent sized house, one large floor, complete with a master bedroom and two guests, a small kitchen, and two bathrooms, and rent was something he was not willing to deal with. That, and his parents HEAVILY implied him marrying Ruby and using the house to raise the children. God, did he want to slam his head vigorously against a concrete wall until he forgot every bit of that awkward can of worms. For now the only thing he was willing to worry about was how he was gonna repaint the cabin to something… less feminine… Hot Pink was not a color for any respectable masculine man to have their walls. Which he definitely was and if anyone disagreed they could tell that to the end of his revolver (name pending)

Opening the doors to the cabin, slowly unbuckle off his armor. The one downside other than the color was that it was a hike to get here. Needless to say, doing any hiking in summer with armor on would leave most people hot and sweaty, and despite his extensive hunter training, Jaune was no exception.

"Nice color there Kid"

Jaune jumped up visibly, attempted to draw Croceas Mor only for the sword to fumble out of his hands. Facing the intruder, he looked to see Qrow's tall frame raiding his fridge "Shame kid. You think a man who can now legally purchase and consume booze would have at least some beer in the fridge." The tall man commented as he closed the door.

Jaune was still in shock "What are you doing in my house?! And where the hell were you at graduation!"

Qrow merely shrugged "Hey, Jones-"

"Jaune"

"Meh, doesn't matter. Look, I was very busy talking with Oz over important stuff. Now, kid have you turned on the news recently?"

Jaune looked confused "What does this have to do with breaking into my house and raiding my fridge!?"

The ashen haired man held a finger up to Jaune's mouth, shushing the Arc "Sshhhhhh. I'm not drunk enough to deal with your complaining. Long story short, this" He said pulling out his scroll and handed it to Jaune.

The blonde looked at the article displayed on the screen. _Master Criminal Roman Torchwick escapes maximum security prison; police have yet to confirm how he managed to escape, nor where he was being held. Further information has yet to be found or released._

"Roman Torchwick?" Jaune said "That name sounds familiar..."

Qrow nodded "That's the crook Ruby and her team caught during the Breach 4 years ago. He was being held in a secret Atlas prison meant for the more dangerous criminals; only a select few even knew it exists after having confirmed connections to the deceased Cinder Fall, but now he's out"

"So what does that mean?"  
"Well, kiddo, it means several things. 1, Eyeliner never much of a head leader. He was middle management for the higher up. Kinda like Glynda is for Oz. The actual leader could not be bothered dealing with the lowers, so Cinder employed him to carry out her dirty work. Plus, someone like him would have gotten out years ago if he could get out on his own will. No, someone wanted him out. Someone is in need of a skill set that Eyeliner has… 3. Neo, his known accomplice has tried and failed repeatedly to locate him, so she couldn't have broken him out."

Jaune nodded to Qrow. He himself had never met the criminal, but if the stories told by team RWBY were to be held true… "You would only be here if Ozpin believed that it was related to the maidens, since you already to tried to kill me a couple months ago. So tell me; how is this related to the four Maidens?"

"Ahh, there's that famous Arc intellect shining through that thick skull of yours; well you see kid, due to the facts that Eyeliner's affiliation with the deceased strip tease and the fact that he couldn't of gotten out alone, Oz believes that the person that broke him out has similar goals. Personally it is a bit of a stretch to me, but the order wouldn't have gotten this far without going on hunches and being a little paranoid over the small details"

"Ok so what will I do now?" Jaune asked, straightening out, prepared for whatever mission Qrow and Ozpin were gonna throw at him

"For you right now, nothing. You need to settle down with Ruby and your kids for now."  
But what abou-" Jaune started, but was interrupted by Qrow.

"I wasn't done yet. I'll be out searching for information about our new game player as well as the remaining three maidens. In a few months, I may call upon you in order to get your assistance in a mission, and remember do NOT tell Ruby about any of this, do I need to repeat myself?" Qrow finished with a intimidating look on his face

"N-n-n-o-o-o Sir!" Jaune stuttered out, Qrow's look clearly having its intended effect on the young hunter "But one question...Why not?"

"It's because I know my niece, and if she catches wind of this, she will make it her duty to take action, regardless of her current condition" Qrow said, steel in his voice

"Oh and one more thing kid…"

"Y-Yeah?" Jaune nervously responded still slightly under the effect of Qrow's look even though he was no longer making it

"You're a fully grown hunter with your own license, weapons, and a powerful semblance on top of that. You shouldn't act like everything is so intimidating anymore, at least within reason. So grow a bloody pair. But don't take this as you're reached your maximum potential, kid. It would be best if you worked on mastering it over the time that I'm gone. After all there is a difference between discovering your semblance and mastering it. If you were to master it, you would become much more useful to us. And do yourself a favor and ask Ruby to take you out to a shooting range. I've seen you trying out your double barreled revolver and I'll tell you the truth without any sugar on it; you suck. Ruby was more accurate when she started training with sniper rifles. And she was 7."

Jaune scowled "My aim isn't that bad. And what person gives a 7 year old a sniper rifle?"

Qrow snorted "Kid, trust me, just work on your aim. And for the record, I was drunk."

"But you're always drunk"

To this, the elder man pulled out his signature flask and took a good drink from it "Touché Jerry"

Jaune facepalmed "Not even close that time"

"Welp, I'm gonna head out now. Oh, and one last thing? You might wanna get that window fixed"

"Wait, what window?" Jaune asked as Qrow walked out the door. Looking into his kitchen, Jaune saw that the window over the sink was broken, almost like a full grown alcoholic man went through it to conduct. "YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT QROW!"

* * *

 **Revenge of the Omakes!**

 **Omake: Wait, I thought you did…**

Mercury looked to Emerald as they landed outside the prison "So, do what do we do now?"

"Now you turn on the radio jammer...you did bring it right?"

"No, you I thought you had it." Mercury snapped at her

"No, you were supposed to bring it, without it this job will be a lot harder: not impossible but still harder. Do you at least have the Radio beacon?"

"Nope, again I thought you had it"

"Wait, so let me get this straight; are you telling me that we went all this way, throughout the whole 6 hour trip, and you not ONCE thought to check for supplies!" Emerald asked in a frustrated and tense manner

"Well I thought you had done it!"

"Obviously Not! Damit Mercury this is why we need to communicate better!"  
"Well it's obviously not just my fault; communication is a two-way street!"

"You know what fine, let's calm down, stop yelling and get our heads in the game. We can still do this together...somehow." Emerald replies calming herself down and lowering her voice in the process

"Yeah ok you're right I guess let's just try to get this over and done with"

*10 minutes later*

"CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! RUN EM! THEY"RE GAINING ON US!" Mercury yells at Emerald as they run down the hall with alarms blaring and shots going off behind them

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT! IT'S KINDA HARD NOT TO NOTICE WHEN THEY ARE SHOOTING AT ME! THIS IS ALL YOU FAULT MERCURY! I'M NOT SURE HOW, BUT IT I- OH CRAP!" Emerald exclaims as they round the corner running straight into 20 more guards these ones standing and kneeling in a firing line  
"FREEZE!" A familiar voice yelled at them before repeatedly firing taser stun rounds into the two intruders, overwhelming their auras and paralyzing them in place.

"Junior Detectives, bitch!" Neptune said, blowing the gun smoke off his weapon then high fiving Sun.

"Man, who knew your crime senses would have led us here" Sun said, fake mustache included.

Neptune shrugged "Yeah….totally not a lead from the Nutcracker… It's Al' natural"

*few weeks later*

" _Hello Vale I'm Lisa Lavender reporting to you live here from Local bar, and underground crime ring, Junior's bar, to tell you that yet another dastardly plot to topple our fine kingdoms and to end this peaceful time has been foiled. This time the plotter was not an individual who worked fully independently of our groups but was instead the once famous and respected, now infamous and detested_ **[DATA EXPUNGED (AN: Tee Hee)]** _who worked under the alias of the Captain. As for what caused_ **[DATA EXPUNGED]** _to go rogue authorities are remaining tight lipped on the matter and while further details are hard to come across what details are available point towards heroic actions of Beacon graduate teams RWBY and JNPR-"_ Lisa's voice is cut off as Ruby turns turns off the TV, turning towards Jaune, who was trying to nonchalantly drink a mug of coffee. "Did you have an epic crime busting adventure without me?" She questioned the knight

Jaune tried to give his best poker face "Ummm...No?" He said, Qrow standing right behind Ruby, gesturing wildly for him to play dumb

"Uncle Qrow, I know that you're behind me. You still smell of booze" Ruby said, turning around and scolding the man.

The older hunter sighed "Shit. My one weakness. Alcohol."

"Grrr...Both of you two!" Ruby exclaimed, shaking her fists "Well, at least I have Yang...Yang? Where is Yang? She was right here, where could she have gone?"

 _Meanwhile, on a rooftop in Vale_

"I'M THE NUTCRACKER!"

"To quote your dad, God Damnit Yang"  
"WHO IS THIS YANG OF WHICH YOU SPEAK? NEVERMIND THAT, COME MADAM MITTENS EVEN THOUGH THE CAPTAIN AND HIS EVIL HAS BEEN CAUGHT, THERE IS EVIL STILL AFOOT IN THIS TOWN!" Yang The Nutcracker yells toward Blake Madam Mittens before jumping off the roof they were on.

 **Omake: GraVale Falls**

Qrow looked at his grand niece and nephew with pride. Ruby and what's his name sent them down here to train with him over the summer, and he could tell he was really bonding with them.

A 12 year old girl, with hair like that of a sunset, looked at him "Hey Druncle Qrow, I found one of the old weapons in the basement! Me and Rouge **[1]** are gonna go out and hunt grimm!"

Qrow looked to his niece, seeing her holding one of the older models of Crescent Rose left over when he first helped Ruby make the piece of beautiful death dealing art that she uses now. The giant scythe seemed to tower over the girl, and the silver blades looked sharp enough to rip through flesh and bone with ease. "Hmmm...Sounds like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing… Good thing I'm a perpetually drunk uncle! AVENGE THE FALLEN, KIDS! AVENGE THEM!"

* * *

 **1: Yes, this is legit, the male will be named Rouge (pronounced rooshe, which lazy me, is just french for red. In my defiance, Jaune is yellow in french, so sue me.)**

 **AN: Today's chapter is brought to you by the song** _ **Roundabout**_ **by Yes or aka** _ **To be continued**_ **. Now before I finish this chapter, I would like to give credit as this chapter was mainly written by my editor. So now like that one mom with their kid, I'm gonna shove 'em into the spotlight to stand awkwardly.**

 **Meep: Well of course he does that, but I ain't just gonna stand around awkwardly; no I'm gonna do something. As for those of you who are wondering what Jaune's mother uses as a weapon when she is out on a mission, she uses her cast iron frying pan. Yes, the very same one that she threatened to castrate Jaune with (don't ask how that would work, you probably don't wanna know). As for how that became her weapon, there is a funny story behind that. Wanderer and I were talking about how certain objects seemed indestructible: things like Nokia Phones, George Foreman Grills, and of course cast iron pans. Then I (I think jokingly) suggested that Tai's weapon should be a nokia phone thus the conversation turned to using these household items as weapons and so that's how Jaune's mother ended up using a frying pan as a weapon in battle. Also the Captain's real identity is !... *gets hit in the back of the head with a frying pan***

 **Lone Wanderer: Sshhhh...you've told to much… *Looks over fallen body* Oh...shit. *Jumps out window...again***

 **Meep: *gets back up looks around and sees the broken glass in the window frame* dammit I just replaced that glass. One of these days I'm gonna put bulletproof glass into these windows and laugh when he tries to jump out of it and ends up smacking his face against the glass. Maybe then he won't jump out the window**

 ***Lone Wanderer in the distance* NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!  
Meep: *leans out the window* I will find a way! *turns away from the window while sighing* Oh well. We are glad that you continue to read this story and so for what I expect to be a one time thing we have decided to give you two omakes instead of one**


	17. Chapter 16 Escape From The City

**9 Months To Live**

 **Chapter 16: Escape from the City**

 **Disclaimer: *Sneaks into RT, sees a bomb lying on the ground next to right to RWBY*  
** **LW: Andy? Is that you?  
** **Andy: Yeah, who's asking, asshat?  
** **LW: Oh, ummm... No one in specific. Hey why aren't you in RvB anymore?  
** **Andy: DON'T EVEN GET ME-*Goes on rant, as Lone sneaks while he distracted* Wait, where are you going? *Explodes, then que Goofy yell*  
** **LW: I do not own the rights to RWBY. They belong to RT.**

 **AN: Gahhhahahaha. Volume 4. Where do I start? Well, Evil Council of Evil, The Humble Freckled Farmer Boy who I honestly think was just a test run of the new animation they left in by mistake, the new Grimm we saw (yes Ruby, let's set the tree limb on fire, like THAT won't give it a deadlier advantage) Jaune's hoodie and upgrade/ progression, Jaune becoming slowly the director of project freelancer (play it again Fillis), Weiss's dad making Atlas great again and a younger brother we never heard from, Yang's crippling depression, Blake having some fun in the Sun at sea. My one major nitpick, is actually Jaune's hoodie. If the Pumpkin Pete's award needs for 50 box tops, THEN HOW THE HELL DID JAUNE NOT KNOW WHO PYRRHA IS? I mean, I know the guy is a dense idiot (Well, I never said I wasn't a hypocrite) on occasions, but not that dense. On a side note, I feel like a dick now for not having Blake's parents at the graduation. Also, Thank you very much to KegiSpringfield for making us a cover for this fic. It looks fucking epic. NOW, V4 related questions bound to come up.  
** **Will I have the Evil Council of Evil? Bitch, I might.  
** **Am I psychic and predicted the Evil council of Evil and one of them is the Captain? Bitch, maybe I am.  
** **Will I incorporate the upgrades to Jaune's weapons? Is Pyrrha dead here? No. So no  
** **Will I also include the freckled farmer Oscar? What do you think? HELL YEAH!  
** The freckled farmer woke before the dawn. Getting up to tend to his cro-  
 **Ha, no. Onward to the real chapter. *Goes to jump out window but hits glass with comedic effect, the glass remaining intact although its frame was shaking a bit* What the hell?**

 **Meep: "HA! I had installed bulletproof glass in all the windows! Now you can't jump out of them!"  
** **LW: You can't stop this Lone Wolf from wandering! * runs to jump out window again.*  
** **Meep: *I watch smirking at first but that smirk falls away when upon hitting the glass it pops out of its frame and Lone falls through the window frame* "Damn it! Now I'll have to reinforce the frames too!" *sighs and then grins* "oh well I suppose I'll have to address the reviews myself then."  
** " **First things first, someone commented that they hope that the story doesn't get all dark and gloomy like volume 3 did; and to them I say: wait and see where things go. Most of the comedy and action areas are usually written by Lone while I work on adding some serious parts and checking grammar. So the tone of a chapter is ultimately decided by how much each of us writes. As for the tone of the story; well that's up to Lone and the** _ **things**_ **that the men in white coats give him. I'm just here to help him and to try and stop him from writing into a corner or going more insane. Like resurrecting MechaHitler. Which could be kinda fun now that I think about it. As for you readers, well you're just gonna have to come along for the ride. Though just a word to those who are still concerned, rest assured neither Lone nor I have ANY plans to go with as Lone says 'volume 3 act 2 Volume 4 route of darkness and depression'  
** **And for those of you guessing who the Captain is, just know that Ozpin is still mostly human he can make mistakes; whether or not this was a red herring will not be revealed just yet. So be careful on not falling into one of our conveniently place pitfalls, as Lone has filled them with hungry monstrosities that when I asked him what they were, he merely responded with, and I quote, "People that are now dead possessed by demons summoned by what I swear was a complete accident I had nothing to do with and unrelated to the chainsaw where my right hand once was, now shut up and get back to work"."**

* * *

Ruby woke up in her bed. Summer life had so far been semi-uneventful, compared to the mess that was her last couple months at Beacon. Blake had went back to Mistal to go visit her parents since they couldn't afford **[1]** to make it to Beacon for the graduation (thank god, that would have been an awkward meeting) and left saying "I'm having a well deserved vacation", Weiss was busy wrestling ownership of Schnee Dust Co. from her father and was winning last time she heard, but was struggling against her younger brother who everyone but Blake seemed to not know about, and Jaune had been over several times to visit her, despite the grief her dad and Yang had given her. Both Yang and her father tried to be stealthy about it, but subtlety is not a Xiao Long trait. One thing that surprised her was the cabin that Jaune had told her about. It was something akin to her own home from what she heard, and it warmed her heart as well as sent her on a nostalgic trip back when her and Yang where little kids, playing in the woods, reliving their own versions of fairy tales of heros defeating monsters and saving the day. She wanted to give her own kids what she had when she was a kid, and more.

Pyrrha and Weiss had given great advice on being a parent, but there was one person she who she knew would be the best, despite all the grief she was given.

Yang.

Most people would be shocked at this statement, but Yang had practically raised Ruby after Summer's death. It was her who read her stories to sleep. It was Yang who comforted her when she got nightmares and couldn't sleep. Her dad was there, but for a long time he was just an emotional mess, hardly taking missions even after recovering.

So Ruby went to her sister's room. Yang decided to stay with Ruby and Tai, claiming that she wanted to spend a little more time driving their dad nuts, but Ruby knew that was just an excuse so she could watch over her. She always did have a habit of keeping an eye out for Ruby, and while it could be frustrating, it was nice to know she cared. Knocking on her door, Ruby waited till for response

"Yello?" Yang's voice came from the other side of the door

"Yang? Can I come in" Ruby asked

"Sure, Sis oh mine"

Ruby entered Yang's room and was shocked at the sight she entered. There, she saw several burned pieces of wood and Yang holding what looked like a flaming chainsaw

"Do I want to know why you're holding the chainsaw Qrow gave us for Christmas last year?"

Yang shrugged "Just a project I've been working on. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find decent wood for this thing?"  
"I don't think the wood is the problem" Ruby deadpanned.

Yang threw the chainsaw haphazardly into the corner of her room, then plopped on her bed "So Sis, what brings you here?"

"Well...I was kind of wondering…"

Yang looked at her "What?"

Ruby looked at Yang shyly "Well, if you could give me some tips about being a mother. I mean after mom died and dad fell into a depression you pretty much raised me on your own with the occasional help from Uncle Qrow."

Yang looked at Ruby "Wow Rubes...I..umm" She started in shock "I personally just did what felt natural to me. I actually recall your mom treating me like her own kid even though I wasn't. So when she passed away, I did it at first to kind of pay her back. She acted as a mom for me when Raven left for god knows what, so at first it was just taking care of you for her memory. But then, I accepted you fully as my sister when Qrow saved us when I went on one of my Raven searches when we were just little kids. It was my fault that you got put in danger in the first place. From then on out, I started looking out for you more than ever before. I didn't want to put you in the same hopeless danger I did that night. So the only advice I can give is really just try to do what feels natural and to be there for your kids. You'll learn more how you go, and someone as compassionate as you will be a great mother."

Ruby looked at Yang with tears pooling at that bottom of her eyes "Sis!" She said before tackling Yang in a bear hug "Thank You. Thank you so much Yang"  
"Awh, hugs are nice" Yang joked, returning the hug.

* * *

"Hello?" Jaune said, knocking on the door to the cabin down in Patch. He decided to combine things. Might as well try a date with Ruby doing the one thing she loved the most. Shooting guns. Besides, Jaune had a feeling she was being driven crazy with all the forced bed rest, it would do her some good to take her out shooting. Or more accurately, her taking him shooting, because god forbid, his own practice ended up with everything BUT the (intended) targets being hit.

Jaune stood there for at least for a good minute till the door finally opened, to see a scowling Taiyang Xiao Long.

"Oh. It's you…" He said, failing to contain his dislike of the Arc.

"Yup...Me...Jaune Arc…" He said, standing there. Remember what Qrow said. Confidence. You are now a huntsmen, You're still alive!…you got this "I'm here to take your date on a daughter...I mean daughter on a date…"

Smooth Arc.

Real fucking smooth.

"You roll lady killer!" Jaune heard Yang yelled from behind the door.

"Please tell me she didn't film that." Jaune asked with fearing the answerer.

"Kid, It's Yang. What do you think?" Tai said. "Now, let me stop you right there. You do NOT come to my house and demand to bring my daughter on a date. Nononononononono. First off, You need to appease me, get in my good graces."

"I kinda blew that one out of the water 4 months ago…"

Tai gritted his teeth "I'm _aware_ of that. But, out of the goodness of my heart-"

"And the threat of no grandkids" quipped Yang from the background

"-I've decided to give you a chance" Tai growled, scowling at Yang "First off, where is this date and what do you plan to do?"

Jaune smiled. Here was something he would succeed "I was planning on just taking Ruby out to go shoot in the clearing in the woods, since she's probably being driven nuts with the lack of action. Plus, I need some help with my new revolver and I think she would be thrilled to help me work the kinks out." He said, getting a thumbs up from Yang on the couch."

Tai scowled for a moment, staring down the Arc. Jaune felt the burn of the gaze, but remembered to follow Qrow's advice. Prove your worth as a Huntsmen. Don't be a weenie. So Jaune managed to maintain his poker face under Tai's fierce glaze.

Finally Tai spoke up. "Fine. But I want her back by 6:00. No less. If she is so much as a second late to the door, well...let's just say Yang will be joining me this time."

"Sorry Jauney boy, gotta agree with Pops on that one"

Jaune opened his mouth to argue, but quickly closed it and nodded. It was not his place to argue, and it would be best to be in Tai's good graces.  
"Now, I'll go get Ruby" Tai said, leaving Jaune with Yang.

"So…" Jaune said, trying to break the ice "No hard feelings, right?"

Yang grinned "Well, you knocked up my younger sister on accident, but I did kinda jump the gun and started a manhunt with the intention to kill you. So no hard feelings." She said, and then punched Jaune by her definition of lightly.

"Yeah, where exactly was the law, during this whole fiasco?" Jaune said while rubbing his arm. "Cause you think the law would prevent this kinda thing from happening?"

Yang gave the fellow blonde a sheepish look "Yeah...about that…"

"Oh god…"

"Oh, not what you think. I didn't actually murdered anyone. I just pulled A LOT of favors and blackmail I gained over the years. You have no idea how much Sun tries to impress Blake. Let's just say Monkey Boy gives Kitty a lot of blackmail material she does nothing with" She said, wiggling her eyebrows

"Ya know...I don't want to know anymore." Jaune said, facepalming

"Good!" Yang grinned "Cause trust me, there is a lot I know that you don't want to know. And just think of all I can learn from your sisters!"

Jaune visibly paled "Wait, what?"

Yang gave Jaune a very Yang like smile "Why, after graduation, your dear sisters, all 7 mind you, gave me their numbers, and shared with me all sorts of fun photos!"

"Oh god...they wouldn't…"

"You made a very cute flower gi-"

"DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE OR EVER SHOW IT RUBY!"

"Show me what?"

Jaune turned around slowly to see Ruby right behind him, hands on her slightly swollen hips. "Ummm…that...surprise….Yeah...That surprised I have planned, right Yang" Jaune said, his face begging for Yang to play along.

"Yup! Now time to go, Lady Killer!" She said, picking both up by the collars of their shirts and dragged them both towards the door. "Now time for you two to enjoy your date!"

Tai gave Jaune a hard look "Remember what I said, boy."

Jaune gulped "Yes Mr Xiao Long Sir!" And with that, Yang slammed the door on them

"You know, you don't have to be so hard on him" Yang spoke as Jaune and Ruby left out of earshot

Tai sighed "I know...it's just so hard for me...You two are all I have left, and every time I see the kid, all I can think about as that he's gonna take Ruby away from me."

Yang looked at her father "You know Ruby would never do that, and honestly, Jaune has probably never had an evil thought in his life. Besides, as I recall, I was born from a similar situation as Ruby and Vomit Boy"

"And look how well that turned out! Raven left! Do you think I want that to happen to Ruby!" Tai snapped "Sorry...your mother is always a sore spot for any member of team STQR."

Yang gave a solemn nod "I know. My entire life I felt myself questioning why she left, why she chose her "tribe" over her own daughter. I still want to know. But Ruby is not anything like her. She doesn't run away from her problems. She lets people in. She doesn't let the weak die, she saves them. I know...I know my mother abandoned me...abandoned you...but Ruby would never do that. And Jaune would never make her do that. I've seen that idiot slowly fall for Ruby, and vice versa. The booze just cut the restraints loose. Not that it was obvious at first. Hell, I'm just now kind of realizing it. Did you know how they first met?"

Tai shook his head "No"

"Well, I would say he threw up on my shoes in the airship on the way to Beacon, but that's not quite true. They really met on after landing at Beacon. I kinda pushed her to go make some friends after getting off the ship, so I left her to herself, to go out and interact with new people. And Ruby being...Ruby, somehow ended up pissing off her future partner who was not the nicest person at the time, and exploding in front of Beacon. Right when she thought Beacon wasn't for her, Jauney boy came in and offered her a hand getting up from the crater. It was the first gesture of kindness she felt that day, from a total stranger no less."  
"I do recall receiving a letter mentioning something of a nice awkward kid, a mean ice lady, a savage girl in a bow, and exploding in front of Beacon."

"Guess you could say she started it off with a-"

Tai cut her off "Don't you dare finish that sentence."

Yang rolled her eyes "You ruin all my _pun_ "

"God damn it Yang!"

"Anyway, as I was saying, that wasn't all. Back when we were doing that mission for Oobleck, you know, the one that led to the breach?"

Tai nodded in recognition. "Didn't you girls cause a train to break through the walls after dealing with a midget, a guy who uses wayyy too much eyeliner, and a person with a thing for Schnee's?"

"Hey, that was a midget from HELL!" Yang yelled, but then got back on _track_ "Anyway, it was Jaune that Ruby first called for backup, and sure enough team JNPR came rushing to our aid, their fearless leader in front. We probably wouldn't have gotten as lucky as we did if it weren't for them."  
Tai shook his head. "Well, this family does seem to have a thing for blondes at the least." He shrugged "But I'll guess I'll go easier on the kid. Now come on, and grab the camera."

"We're gonna creep their date, aren't we?"

"Standard dad procedure. Every dad watches over his daughter's first date."

"What about me?"

"I worry more for the person you date then you. No offense"

Yang shrugged. "Fair point. Now let's go! I have money on Jaune getting a kiss! The kids at Beacon are gonna owe me soooooo much after this."

"You bet on your sister?!"

"Don't feel too left out. I made bets on you and Uncle Qrow too!"

"WAIT WHAT?!"

* * *

Jaune continued to lead Ruby through the forest, in what seemed like circles. "Sooo...we there yet" Ruby asked quietly.

"Not yet…" Jaune said, half unsure. He could have sworn he made the right turn...or was that supposed to be a left turn another walk down? Play it cool… "Totally not lost"

God damn it.

"Sure" Ruby giggled behind him.  
"Look, I swear, I know how to read a map! Every summer my family would go camping and do all kinds of things!" Jaune moaned.

"Like what?"

"Well….we've did archery, hiking, search and rescue, biking, horseback, training that will save you from a heart attack, scuba diving, miming, keeping up with rhyming, football, limbo, science, pre-calc, space ships, treasure hunting, bomb defusal, no refusal, fantasies, circus trapeze, and fights and ghosts and paint and snakes and knives and chess and dance and weights" Jaune listed off in an almost musical fashion.

"Wow...that sounds like quite the camp...camp. I mainly just had Qrow show me his weapons and teach me neat tricks and go exploring with Yang." Ruby said looking at Jaune " So what will we be doing?"

"So glad you asked!" Jaune beamed "You have Crescent Rose with you, right?"

Ruby flicked the massive weapon out into it's scythe form "Yup! Never leave the house without it!"

Jaune smiled sincerely "Well, your Uncle actually gave me this suggestion. Since I need to actually work on my aim (which is still not that _bad_ ) with my revolver, I decided to bring you out shooting to a clearing! Don't worry, I prepared targets! Now, I think I take a left here...or was it my other left?"  
"Oh yeah, your revolver! Kinda forgot about that! Could I see it? What it's name? What can it do? LetMeSeeLetMeSee!" Ruby said, making a desperate grab for the gun.

Jaune chuckled and handed her the revolver "Sure Ruby. It's nothing special like yours or the other weapons we're familiar with, since it can't really turn into anything nor act as anything but a revolver, but I actually made the chamber something similar to Weiss's rapier, having it able to hold different types of dust that with the two barrels will allow for different dust combinations"

Ruby nodded "Yeah, smart choice on that. I went with a standard clip for reloading due to my fighting style focusing on speed, but the concept is unique, and I could see you using this is your fighting." She said, but then whacked Jaune upside the head "AND that's for leaving this precious child unnamed!"

Jaune rubbed the back of his head "Hey not my fault, I'd probably come up with a name that everyone would laugh at!"

"Oh come on, we would not"

"My team attack names." Jaune deadpanned

"FLOWER POWER! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Ruby fell on the forest floor, laughing away. Jaune groaned. Of course he'd make an idiot of himself. Finally, Ruby seemed to bring it down enough and Jaune helped her up.

"Oh come on, I'm sure you'll come up with something good!" Ruby said, still slightly giggling.

Jaune rolled his eyes "Yeah, and Weiss will get a tan and Yang will cut her hair into a crew cut."

"Oh come on, I have faith in you! Why don't you give it a try?" Ruby said

Jaune thought for a moment "Okay...um...how about...High Noon?"

Ruby quickly covered her mouth to prevent herself from laughing. Trying desperately to keep a straight face she shook her head "How about we try something else" She managed to get out

Jaune scowled "Alright, fine, how did you pick Crescent Rose's name?"

Ruby was quiet for a moment "My uncle Qrow told me of stories of my mom when I first starting building my weapon. She cared immensely for her weapons, and even others, basically making sure everyone's weapon on the team was at maximum efficiency. To her, a sharp blade made a world of difference, caring for them with the patience of a gardener to their plant. She cared for them like they were children to her, and in her own way, she was right. Weapons are extensions of us, a part of our creativity and ingenuity poured into a means of defending us and those around us. I named Crescent Rose with the intention of caring for it like my own blood."  
Jaune fell silent. He never thought to give Crocea Mors any thought like Ruby did. True, he still cared for it, but it was always his ancestor's blade, nothing more, nothing less. So he thought of something personal to him. Something unique.  
He thought back to what drove him to be a hunter. When he first lie- _I mean_ joined Beacon, he did it because it just felt like something he had to do. All his family had been hunters or heroes, gave something to the world, and Jaune...was just Jaune. He wanted to make something of himself, for his family's sake.

But over time, it became more than that. During his time at Beacon, he met some of the most craziest, loyal friends a man could ask for. Ruby always managed to drag him out of his bubble and make him realize that there was a whole world out there that needed help. It helped remind him that despite his problems, he could always do some good in the world. She helped him be less absorbed in his own problems, and allow him to swallow his pride (or what little he had left at this point) and allow himself to start. It was the end of his problems and the beginning of helping others.

" _Croissant Luna_. The Crescent Moon" Jaune said, holding the revolver up in his palm.

Ruby nodded "It fits"

Jaune spun the gun then holstered it into his belt "So, about that shooting range"

Ruby eyes lit up "Take me away, Vomit Boy!"

"Alright Crater face" Jaune replied, rolling his eyes.

This time, Jaune actually managed to read the map right, and finally made it to the clearing. Ruby looked around in awe. All around the clearing where varying targets at different ranges. Some were cutouts of Beowolves, some of Ursa, others of Boarbatusks, and Ruby swore she saw a couple of cutouts of Cardin.

Jaune grinned "So, how's this" He said, a stupid smile plastered on his face as Ruby looked around, her face full of joy

Suddenly, he was taken off by Ruby tackling him in a hug, causing the two of them to slam to the ground, or more accurately, Jaune to fall and Ruby to land on top of him.  
"ACK!" Jaune yelped as Ruby landed on his stomach "Careful!"

Ruby blushed as red as her signature cloak "Heh heh...Sorry"

The two sat there for a while, enjoying each others company in the shade of the trees in the summer afternoon. However, Jaune finally got up off the ground.

"Come on Rubes, I didn't spend all morning setting up these targets for as to lay here, let's get shooting!"

Ruby shot up and flicked Crescent Rose out, and cocked back the bolt "I'd thought you'd never ask!"

* * *

Tai looked to his daughter from the bush "What do you here?" He whispered to Yang  
The Younger Xaio Long hushed him "I can't here the two with you talking! Do you have any idea Xiao Long I've been waiting for this?"  
Finally, Yang began to hear the two socially impaired leaders

"You sure we should be doing this with you being pregnant?" She heard Jaune say

"Oh, it can't do that much harm to them" Ruby replied  
"Ok just so you know I'm warning you ahead of time, I'm not that experienced in this"

"Nobody is that skilled their first couple times"

"Well, mine really isn't that big…"

"Size doesn't matter, it's how you use it!"

Yang looked to her father with wide eyes

"What are they saying?" Tai asked her

Yang looked to her father "You don't wanna know. Trust me. I cannot unhear what I heard."

Tai gave Yang a confused look, but shrugged "Oh well. Can't be worse than what I did at your age."

"Uhhh please don't make me imagine you and mom doing it." Yang blanched before regaining her normal voice tone "Ya know, maybe we shouldn't be spying on them?"

Tai paused and thought for a bit "Nah." He answered

"You know we're in deep shit if Ruby finds out?"

"Yeah, but still, I at least get this much." Tai said, and peaked out of the bush. Ruby and the boy stood laughing as the boy attempt to shoot a large variety of targets, even a couple Tai swore looked like Benedict Winchester (god he hated that asshat from his days in Beacon), but was not doing so well as he seemed to miss nearly everyone. Ruby slowly adjusted his arm, getting closer to the boy, and moving his arm with care, and giving him words of encouragement. Every day she became more and more like her mother…

"Dad, are you crying?" Yang asked

"NO" Tai sniffed "Just caught a bit of dirt in my eye"

"Doesn't aura protect us from that-"

"Just shut up and help me stalk your sister's first date"

* * *

 **Omake: The Wanderer shatters a wall** **and a window**

Ruby was startled to hear a knock on her door. Going to check, she was shocked to see a man standing there with a worn brown leather trenchcoat, wearing a gray armored chest piece, and holding a parcel.

"Yello, Renegade delivery service. Package for a Ms. Ruby Rose?" The man said, scratching at his brown messy hair, cowlick sticking straight up in the front

"Yes.." Ruby said slowly "I was unaware we had a mailman"

The man scowled. "Oh for the the love of- I'm not a mailman, I'm a courier! Mailmen are those pussies in the city who can't handle walking, let alone some adventure. We deliver no matter the location or condition!"

Ruby was confused by this "But what about the grimm? Isn't it dangerous for-"

The man merely responded with a double barrelled shotgun from the holster on his back "Few grimm can deal with buckshot, and even fewer men. " He said, blowing the barrels for effect. _" and for those that can well that's what my chainsaw hand is for"_ The courier whispered out of the side of his mouth. Ruby was excited by the weapon. Was the man some kind of special hunter?

"Oooh! What's it called, what does it turn into?" Ruby exclaimed, stars in her eyes.

"Boomstick. And nothing. You don't mess with what's already perfect."The man man said, his green eyes full of seriousness. "Now, I need to go back to my job"

"Wait, all you do is wander around from town to town. Doesn't it get lonely, traveling by yourself?" Ruby asked, genuinely curious about the strange. To her shock, the man broke into laughter "What? Why are you laughing?

"Red, you don't know how close you are to the truth. Fortunately my walks are _**VERY**_ enthusiastic. I see you also are following the new sensation that's sweeping the nation. Say, do you have any windows on a 2nd story floor?"

Ruby gave a confused look "What Sensation!? What nation!? I live on an island! Also why do you ask?"

The wanderer gave a dark grin "No reason…Anyway, here's your package Ms. Rose. Enjoy your day." and with that, the man went off his way, traveling back down the dusty road leading to their house.  
Yang looked to Ruby "So who was it at the door Ruby?"

Ruby shrugged "Some mailman dude. Did you know we could get mail? I mean, we live in the middle of a forest in the middle of an island. It's a miracle we get good cell reception."

"Man like that must be quite the Lone-ly Wanderer…" Yang said, before sipping from a mug.

"GOD DAMNIT LONE!" Shouted a certain frustrated editor.

"Why did you put so much emphasis on the lone part of lonely?" Ruby asked, her confusion at on the emphasis was evident in her tone

"I don't know why I did that" Yang replied with a troubled look upon realising that she didn't know why, leaving her just as confused as Ruby was.

"Hey Ruby, Yang, why is there a package? Did you guys finally get me something for father's day?" Tai said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Wait, that's today?" Ruby and Yang both said at once as Tai's shoulders fell.  
"You guys forget it every year…"

"What about last year!"

"That was just a world's best drunkle mug with dad poorly written over in sharpy."

"What about the year before?" Ruby asked

"Okay, that was great that year… I still have the blackmail photos of your Uncle Qrow! Out of all my years of knowing that man not once have I seen something as priceless as **[2]** -"

The Wanderer stopped, a qrow blocking his path. "Okay, I probably should stop right there, Cause the only thing I want broken is the 4th wall, not my spine." He said to the bird, as the creature almost seemed to scowl at the man. "But on this last note…"

And then the man ran into the office building, and jumped out the window.

"Apparently he forgot that he also wanted that window in particular broken" The rather frustrated editor growled as he began the slow process of replacing the window and sweeping up the broken glass. "I wonder if this is how Weiss would react to this sort of thing." **[3]**

* * *

 **1: Around the time I write this, Blake's parents have yet to be in Volume 4. Due to this, I'm taking a complete shot in the dark. My guess is that Blake's parents are rather poor, as most faunus seem to be (not racist, just guessing based on statistical observation). See, not I'm 100% a dick. Only an asshole.  
** **2\. BITCH I AM PHYSIC! I fucking called this somehow... Anyone who's seen episode 4 knows what I mean. I wrote that part at least a week before that episode came out.  
** **3\. Meep here, I felt like leaving this reference to one of the funniest (and oldest) fanfic series I have ever read, Weiss Reacts by ElfCollaborator (just a warning for any who wish to delve into the series; if you are not very well versed in anime and various video games then some if not most of the references will likely fly over your head)**

 **AN: Yeah, this again. Insanely long notes for this chapter. Now, a lot of people brought attention that for a lancaster fic, this actually doesn't have much of it. The categories this is under are romance and humor, and while I have definitely delivered on the latter. In fact, one of my biggest tips for humor is to have it be well paced. A good joke is if I run into the room, hit you in the face with a dead fish; then run out the room giggling like an idiot. It's the other I feel like I have done shitty at the romance and there is a reason for this.  
The sad fact is that I am as socially inapt as these two, and it bleeds into writing. I basically have no idea how to do that well of a romantic scene, and this chapter is my hope of redemption. I'm still unsure about it, but I definitely try to keep it well paced, which is a common problem with Lancaster fics. They have chemistry, it's just getting it to react naturally, not forcing it. I on the other hand, will score a date the day Lancaster becomes canon.  
** **Meep: I'm not much better when it comes to romance to be honest. When it comes to writing, realistic or even believable romance is one of the hardest things that I have tried to write.  
** **LW: So basically romantic help needed. For the story. I'm a lost cause. Seriously PM me if you think you can help and HAVE experience. If you don't you're wasting my already wasted time  
** **Meep: Also I recommend that you check out the community that Lone here has created for lancaster fics (To the Socially Awkward) if you haven't already at least.  
** **P.S. There is a story I enjoy reading called Silver by Imyoshi Some of you guys might like it.**


	18. Christmas Special

**9 Months to Live Christmas Special!**

 **Disclaimer: So the Wanderer thought. And he thought. Till he came up with an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful idea. An awful, wonderful, idea!  
"I'll take the rights to RWBY as my-" Lone fell to the ground with a thud, his idea already a dud. Don't own the rights to RWBY, belongs to Rooster Teeth.**

 **AN: Merry Christmas and Happy Hol- DUES VULT! Also *blows on one of those cheesy party things that name escapes me* WOO HOO! 9 Months to Live, as of the time I write this, has surpassed 1000 followers! We currently stand at about 795 favs, +1000 follows, and around 540 reviews. Thank you all, so, so very much. I know you heard me say this before, but thank you all so much. Since I started this, you all got to know me, and I got to know some of you. I always tried to be open with communication and try to answer questions, and by doing this, my writing has improved by a long way. So thank you all, and have a safe holiday with your friends and family.  
*insert cliche christmas music***

* * *

 **The 12 Omakes of Christmas**

 **A Jaune Arc landing on a shitty tree**

Twas the holiday season at Beacon academy, and everything was in full swing. A great big tree was brought in from the Emerald Forest and was decorated by Glynda, Oobleck now drank hot chocolate with just a shit ton of caffeine shots put into it, team CFVY was making a small fortune selling peppermint mochas and cocoa (the drink, not their leader) and everyone seemed to be hyped for the holidays.

Everyone, but a certain blonde knight.

"Ya know Ren, I can't help, but just feel not that into Christmas this year" Jaune said in the JNPR dorm "I mean, I want to feel the in the holidays, but it's just hard this year. I mean, I normally spend it with my family and I can now get away with the lame presents for my sisters without worrying of revenge, but still. I just...kinda feel sick of all the commercialism. Y'know?"

Ren sat on the bed, covered in a lightish red bath robe, his hair still somewhat wet from the shower. "How about you try doing something for the group? Maybe that will help getting you out of your funk. Christmas is a time to be with family and friends, a time of good will." he then looked to Nora, who was drawing Ren while sipping from a mug of what they prayed was hot coco. Nora broke several of the 4th walls last time she drank coffee, and since then was not allowed to make/drink/look at the caffeinated drink.

"You're right Ren, I'll get a Christmas tree that will impress the whole gang! Just let me grab Ruby. I think it would be fair if she helped me get the tree as she is the leader of team RWBY Thanks Ren" And with that, Jaune grabbed his coat,threw on his red scarf and left the dorm

"Can I get dressed now?" Ren asked

"Robe. Off. Now" Nora grinned, giving the Ren a large grin

Jaune knocked on the team RWBY door. However, no one came to answer. So he knocked again.

"Door's open! Be careful!"

Jaune opened the door and walked into the room only to slip and fall on _ice?_

Ruby skated over and looked at the fallen Arc "We had Weiss freeze the floor so we could try indoor ice skating." She explained as she helped him up

Jaune looked as said person rolled her eyes and snorted at the him "She did warn you, so your fault."

"Do I even want to know what gave you the idea?" Jaune asked

"No you do not" Blake commented, not even looking up from her book as she was simply sitting on her bed reading in a winter coat.

"Well, before I slipped and fell on my ass by your… unusual decorations, I wanted to see if you gals wanted to get a christmas tree to share with team JNPR?"

Ruby's eyes sparkled with childlike glee "YES!" She said, tackling Jaune with a hug, but the ice sending them flying into a wall

"Dolts" Weiss muttered under her breath as she saw the two socially impaired leaders crash into the wall.

"WHAT IS UP MY FESTIVE PEEPS! I got the bomb ready for Xtreme Ice Hockey Griffball- Oh, hey Vomit Boy" Yang bursted into the room carrying a softball sized sphere with a blinking red light the made everyone but her uneasy, and noticed the 2 person dogpile of the leaders. "Wow, I thought you needed mistletoe for that" She smirked as both blushed as red as Ruby's cloak, and bolted up from the pile

Yang snickered at the two's reaction. "So, what are brings you to our _Weissy_ home, Lady Killer?" She asked.

Jaune rolled his eyes "I was wanting to see if you guys wanted to share a tree with JNPR. Ren thought maybe getting a tree would help me get more in the spirit. So me and Ruby are gonna go out.." he explained, then eyed the sphere Yang was holding "And that's not actually a bomb, is it?"

"Oh live a little, Jauney boy, It's Christmas!"

 _ **Bark!**_

Team RWBY and J of JNPR looked to see Zwie pop out of the covers of Ruby's kinda bunk bed and was dressed in what looked like a classic aviator outfit, right down to the scarf to the the little tiny corgi sized goggles. All the girls awed but Jaune just looked in confusion as the tiny dog got up and begin to march out of the room.

"Why is your dog dressed as a pilot?" He asked cautiously

"Zwie's going to fight his foe, the Atlas Baron. He's a Remnant War Flying ace, best of the colored forces!" Ruby explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"That still doesn't explain why your corgi is wearing an aviator cap."

"Just deal with it Jauney boy. He does this every year" Yang piped up "Now quite Krampus my style" She looked at her scroll that buzzed ' _how does he do that'_ she thought to herself as she read the words God damn it Yang sent from her father.

"Look, we ready, cause at this right all the good trees are gonna be gone." Jaune said, hoping to get Ruby moving.

"Alright, Ready!" She chirped, buttoning up a black coat with red trim then putting up her hood. "Any preferences?"

"Make sure it's not some scrawny tree. I will only accept the grandest of Christmas Trees!" Weiss beamed

"Yeah, Nora wanted something of that too" Jaune said.

"Alrighty, come on Vomit Boy!" Ruby said, rocketing out the door  
"THAT WAS NEARLY 2 YEARS AGO, CAN I PLEASE HAVE A NEW NICKNAME!" Jaune yelled out to her as he ran out the door in hopes to catch her.

One motion sickness plagued flight later, the two found themselves wandering the streets of Vale for the perfect tree.

"Maybe in hindsight it was not the best idea for to go christmas tree shopping less than a week before December 25." Jaune said as they walked out of another store that was sold out of trees

"Come on Jaune, look at the bright side! At least we aren't dealing with the Black Friday craze!" Ruby said with her usual optimism

Jaune shuddered "Yeah, I have nightmares from the years I went with my mother and some of my sisters. First rule about Black Friday with the Arcs is, Whatever the cops don't see is perfectly fine!" He said

"What?"

"Sorry...just...memories…" Jaune said, lost in his own thoughts as he began to take a brisk pace through repressed memory lane, then shook himself out of it "So, any idea of a store we haven't tried yet?"

"Ooh, what about that one right there?" Ruby said pointing to a rather desolate garden center near the corner of the street

Jaune was feeling a bit skeptic though "I don't know Ruby, it seems a bit… empty"

"That must mean that have to have a tree!"

"Ruby, I highly doubt it...Ruby" He looked to where she was to see her gone.

"Come on slowpoke!" Ruby cried out from the entrance to the store. Jaune merely rolled his eyes and reluctantly went to into the store, it was better than freezing in the cold. Jaune entered the store to see it nearly empty.

"Ruby, I think this is-"

"Why hello there you loveable, foolable people, and welcome to Roman Candlestick's Christmas Tree emporium! How may I help-" The man, a ginger haired fellow with a white santa beard on and a christmas themed bowler hat greeted them but stopped when he noticed them, then immediately bolted to the back room.  
Roman burst the door open to the back, and looked to see Emerald and Mercury lounging around, Emerald filing her nails, and Mercury flipping through

"We got a problem" He said

"Someone finally saw through your cheap scam?" Emerald said, not really caring for Roman's antics

"One, its not a scam, greenie, and two, Little Red and some scraggly looking idiot in a box top bunnie hoodie are here!"

"Oh god, not her. I literally came here to escape Ms. Optimism." Emerald groaned.

Mercury sat up and clicked some rounds into his legs "Well, guess we gotta kill them."

Roman looked in horror "WHAT? GOD NO! What the hell made you think murdering them was gonna solve anything!"

To this, Neo, who had been silently munching away at a pint of peppermint ice cream looked down with a frown.

"The fact that it does" Mercury stated as Neo nodded with agreement.

"With a motto like that it's a wonder who your friends are." Roman snarked "No, we need to play it cool. Both of you, get your disguises on. I, the cunning Roman Torchwick, have a brilliant plan."

Neo pressed a button on her scroll as her usual outfit changed to an elf costume. Emerald and Mercury quickly saw where this was going. "NO" Both said.

Jaune and Ruby stood in the lobby of the rather empty and cheap looking store. The manager ran off and the couldn't find any other staff.

"So… That happened" Jaune said trying to break the ice as the two stood alone.

"That just happened" Ruby stated.

"Yeah, I mean, what kind of guy leaves in the middle of speaking to some customers?" Jaune rolled his eyes "Oh well. I guess we try the next-"

Suddenly, the red headed man appeared, tacky santa beard included "Sorry about that my friends! Just had to get some of the employees going for customers as important as you. So what can I, Rowan Candlestick, Do for you lovely people today?"

"Actually we were just about to lea-" Jaune started but was cut off by Ruby

"We're looking for a tree for Christmas!" She smiled

The man, Roman, looked down at Ruby "Well, Red, with my _HELPERS_ I'm sure I could help you… I SAID MY HELPERS! JUST GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE"

With that late que, 2 very grumpy, kinda familiar looking elves went out, both looking like someone spat in their eggnog.

"Hell, we're here to take you on a magical trip to find the perfect tree for th-jesus christ, who wrote this-holidays" The green haired female said in a dull tone, then looked to her partner "Next time, you do it."

"If we did it my way, we wouldn't be doing this" The ashen haired boy muttered under his breath as they lead the two oblivious leaders to the nearly empty and poorly stocked garden center. In fact, it looked more like an empty warehouse with the few trees that were too sad to be put out with the rest.

"Well, none of these trees seem to catch my eye" Jaune said. If there was one thing his mother taught him, it was how to get quality in a shop. Nothing here seemed right, and he had a feeling people were gonna try to swindle him here. Well, he'd show them! No one trick's Jaune Arc!

Unless count his sisters.

And that whole Cardin fiasco

And his shitty luck at bets for the dance…

On 2nd thought-

"OOOH, What about this one" Ruby called out, breaking Jaune's thoughts

Jaune turned around to see Ruby holding up what Jaune could best describe as the saddest little branch of a christmas tree. The poor thing didn't even look like it could fully support one ordamment, let alone a whole tree's worth "Ruby, I don't think that's the righ-"

Ruby hit Jaune with big silver puppy eyes.

Be strong Arc. You dealt with 7 sisters worth of puppy eyes, you can deal with-

"I still think this is gonna end horribly." Jaune deadpanned

"Nonsense" Ruby beamed "All it needs is a little love, that's all" She said, and several pine needles fell from the already almost bare tree. Ruby looked to the blonde and sheepishly shrugged as Jaune just shook his head

The leaders opened the door to team RWBY dorm and placed the "tree" in the middle of the ice floored room. Both teams NPR and WBY looked at the two leaders in silence, till finally, Weiss opened her mouth.

"This is a joke, right?" She said slowly "The real tree is outside, right?"  
"Nope!" Ruby chirped

Weiss's eye display twitched "What did I tell you two?" She said slowly.

"To get a tree?" Jaune hesitantly said, backing away.

"Not just that…to get...a big tree." Weiss said, grinning coldly at the awkward leaders "And is tree big?"  
Ruby looked at the tree "It's big in our hearts?" She said sheepishly.

"I GAVE YOU DOLTS ONE ORDER" Weiss yelled, finally snapping at the two, Ruby visibly cringing back.

Jaune decided to step in "Hey, we got this tree for free. Besides isn't it the thought that counts?"

Weiss turned towards Jaune and he swore he saw the devil in all his icy fury. And with that, Weiss gave Jaune a shove, sending him slipping on the ice and sliding onto Ruby.

"Oww.." Jaune moaned as he begin to pick himself up, bet his hands felt two small, soft, squishy...oh crapbaskets.

Jaune looked up to see Ruby blushing as red as her cloak "Ruby, I'msososososososo-"

"NoIt'sOkay,JustPleaseGetOffNowPlease" She squeaked out

Yang caught sight and her eyes ignited faster than the heat meister's fondle of the state of Texas. The next thing thing Jaune knew, he was breaking through the roof of Beacon. As Jaune once again begin to make his trip through the atmosphere (thank god for aura) he actually felt...happiness. Maybe, maybe this was what the holidays was about. Not the gifts, not the commercialism, but being with his friends, and dealing with their antics, and for them dealing with him. Afterall, send a man flying sky high, shame on you, send him twice, shame on him. But maybe that was just the oxygen deficiency speaking. Either way, he was gonna have this embedded into his head...or was that a fist mark from Yang?

As the Arc begin to renter Remnant's atmosphere, Ruby managed to explain to Yang that she overreacted and she needed to put another dime in the anger jar, and Weiss finally began to warm up over the tree and use her semblance to create snowflake themed ornaments, Ren begin to explain to Nora that mistletoe was not explosive attachments to the foot, Pyrrha was beginning to help Weiss decorate the tree with tinsel, and Blake just sat near the fireplace, reading her book with her new earbuds in, oblivious to everything that went on in the past 10 minutes.

Suddenly, Jaune crashed through the roof, landing on the tree. "Merry Christmas" He said weakly then fainted

 **2 Words From Dove**

"What the-" The member of team CRDL looked confused

 **3 Drunken men**

 _Twas the night before Christmas and a Witch was sound asleep, with her coworkers three, till they received a very special visit night_

 _ **BANG**_

Glynda woke to the start of gunfire ringing through the halls of Beacon. Quickly throwing a robe over her white nightgown, she grabbed her riding crop and bolted down the steps, to be greeted with a gruesome sight

"Oh my-"

Qrow groaned, sitting in one of the teacher's lounge comfy chairs near the fireplace, his weapon lying next to him, the barrels smoking "Before you start" He said calmly

"JESUS CHRIST" Glynda yelled, eyeing the dead body of a round man in a red suit

"BEFORE. YOU. START." Qrow stressed

"HOLY SHIT!"

Qrow rolled his eyes "Okay, would you care for me to explain?"

"YES QROW, I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU SHOT AND MURDERED ST NICK!"

"He startled me."

"He…. _startled_ you?"

"He. Startled. Me!"

"Oh, well I guess he should apologize!" She ranted at the drunkard

"Well, it's gonna be hard for a dead man to say sorry, considering I shot him"

"Well, Now what are we supposed to do!"Glynda rubbed her temples. God, out of all the irresponsible, reckless, stupid-

"Well, guess I gotta save Christmas" Qrow stated, getting up out of the chair.

Glynda's eyes widened in horror. "How about, ANY other option" Before her eyes flashed images of children opening up christmas presents to find bottles of rum and scotch.

"No use trying to put the brakes on this, it's going down" He grinned while taking the coat off the corpse and trying it on, satisfied with the fitting. Then, it clicked to Glynda. Everything.  
"You planned this" she accused

"What?" Qrow said with obviously faked surprise "Your lack of trust in me saddens me"

Suddenly, Professor Port and Doctor Oobleck burst into the room, oblivious to Glynda, both wearing elf costumes, though Peter's was more… _mature_ than the Oobleck's, the costume obviously meant for a female whom Qrow would flirt with.

"Qrow, we have secured the sleigh!" Port said in his usual boisterous tone.

"Yes!" Oobleck followed up "Unfortunately, Vixen is no longer with us. A tragic loss that will be forgotten"

Glynda looked at the two than glared at Qrow

"You have no idea how cheap I got those elf costumes" He said sheepishly

"Qrow…."

"I Stole it" He said, smirking

"QROW!"

"LET ME HAVE MY NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS MOMENT!"

 _And so, Santa Qrow and his two helpers went around the world, delivering presents to all the good little hunters and huntresses, till he got hammered and kinda wandered off before finishing the job._

 **4 Stalling birds**

"...Yes...Brother" Raven, the mother of the year said slowly.

"So, about that bet…."

Raven sighed "Please don't do this."

"Come on, DO IT!"

"When you tell them about your fling with Schnee"

"What do you think my christmas card is this year?"

Raven visibly gagged "Oh god, not that picture of you doing-"

"Yup!" Qrow grinned. "NOW DO IT!"  
Raven started doing a sad little dance as Qrow whipped out her scroll "I'm Raven and I was wrong...:and I'm singing the Raven wrong song" She growled

"Dance harder!"

"Um… Mr. Branwen, what am I doing here, who is that, and why is she dancing in a giant black chicken suit?" Dove asked "I mean I just wanted to get out of finals"

"Can it, kid. Yang's so gonna love this" Qrow said as he brought out his flask and took a sip

Raven glared at her brother "I hate you. So, so very much. In fact, this might as well be all the reason I needed for why I left. Screw the bandits, I just hate you and Tai's shitty puns. Please tell me that you make sure Yang didn't take that from her father, right…"

Qrow's eyes widened "Um...about that…"

 _Meanwhile at Beacon_

"Hey Yang, you ever wonder why you hardly see any birds around Beacon?" Ruby asked her sister

"I guess you could say they left due to the bad _feather_ "

Suddenly Yang's scroll buzzed.

"Oh hey, a message from dad!" She said, looking at it.

"What does it say!?" Ruby asked, rocketing over to her in a blast of rose petals

"It says "GOD DAMNIT YANG!" Huh. How does he do that?"

Birdie Jr. sat in the shadows of the tree, watching the murderer of his father, Birdie. He would get his revenge...one day...from the scary...scythe wielding...sniper shooting...reaper... Just not today

 **5 God damn it Yangs!**

"Oh No…" Ruby said as the regular crew was eating lunch, with the exception of Yang.

"What is it?" Jaune asked

"It's that time of the year. It's the holiday season" Ruby said with a dark tone.

"Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?" Blake said, peeking up from her book

"Yeah Silly, Christmas is super fun!" Nora happily chirped, a santa hat already on her head.

"You don't understand…" Ruby stressed "Yang makes it her duty to make the most awful, cringeworthy Christmas puns."

"They can't be that bad. I mean we deal with her puns all the time, that can be any worse than the usual" Weiss shrugged, then got back to studying for the semester exams

Suddenly, the door to the cafeteria slammed open, with Yang wearing her aviators she had on the freshmen year in the Emerald forest, with a yellow santa hat propped on top of her golden locks with the tackiest christmas sweater anyone had ever seen

"Let's kick this holiday season off with a _Yang!_ "

"GOD DAMN IT YANG!"

 **6 Mugs of Coffee**

"Ozpin, you can't drink all of these at once"

"That's where you're wrong, Glynda"

And with that, the headmaster whipped out a funnel, and Oobleck begin to pour, all the teachers but Glynda chanting chug

"Is Mistral still hiring?" She wondered to herself as she began to rethink her life choices.

 **7 Arcs a braiding**

"Jaune...Why are your sisters giving me that look" Ren said slowly. Team JNPR decided to spend some time of the holidays with the Arcs, but judging by the scheming expressions of all 7 of Jaune's sisters were giving Ren's long dark hair, the poor quiet man was going to be met with a very grim fate.

"Oh god. Ren you need to run. Trust me, with your hair, you're their prime target. Now RUN! GET NORA! I'll HOLD THEM OFF FOR AS LONG AS I CAN!"

 **8 Ships a sailing**

Ozpin looked over the cafeteria, to see many students acting against the usual PDA rules. However, he really didn't feel like breaking any of them up. Call it the holiday spirit. Well, that, and he really wanted to win the student shipping pool that the teachers had set up amongst themselves. The Arkos still hadn't made it to port, but he was so close with Renora . However, some of the betting had begun to get intense, with The Bumblebee's crew members at the throats of the crew The Black Sun. But honestly, Ozpin could care less about that as he had bet on-

"Ozpin, why is there mistletoe hanging in every hall" Glynda asked the headmaster, interrupting his thoughts

The emerald garbed man merely gave a small smile "Tis the holiday season Glynda. Let them be with their loved ones."  
"You planned this to win some of the money"

"You know about that?!" Ozpin looked at her with shock, then it hit him "It was Port, wasn't it"

"He Sung like a partridge in a pear tree"

 **9 Months to Live**

The Wanderer looked towards the readers. "What? You think I wouldn't reference my own work at least once? Happy holidays, ya filthy animals!"

Blake, Sun, and Velvet all glared at him.

"Sorry. He didn't mean it. He just forgot to take his meds" Meep apologized to the 3.

Wanderer looked to Meep "Hey since when did you get here?"

"I'VE ALWAYS BEEN HERE!"

"Well, then get back to work!"

Meep began to head back to the office till he realized something "Wait...I'm the Editor, right?" He said slowly

Lone rolled his eyes "Yes. Go on?"

"And you're the writer, correct"

"Yes, now get to the point, this gag is beginning to get old"

Meep grinned "So doesn't that mean I should telling you to get to work?"

The Wanderer gave a look of horror "Um...is it too late to say sorry?"

"No, it's never too late to apologize, but that won't stop me from criticizing you and yelling at you; NOW GET BACK TO WORK ON THE NEXT CHAPTER! DO NOT make me take your pun privileges away!"

"NOT THE PUNS! ANYTHING BUT THE PUNS!"

 **10 Reds and Blues**

"It's Christmas, Church! Let's go see what Santa got us!" Caboose yelled with joy, jumping into Church's bed and tackling the poor guy

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

Tex snorted as Church tried desperately to pry the overgrown man child off him. She normally was not one for the holidays, but Caboose basically dragged the entire team into the Christmas spirit. And she would be lying if she didn't enjoy burning Tucker's mistletoe hat. His face was priceless...and also on fire. She would cherish the recording of the burning perv on her scroll...and judging by the hits on Schneetube, so did the rest of Remnant.

Meanwhile, across the hall in the GDLD room, utter chaos was in the works. Donut was trying to do some last minute decorating, Lopez was stuck playing Feliz Navidad on repeat and was slamming his head vigorously into the wall, Griff was refusing to even get out of bed, and Simmons was trying desperately to restore some form of order, but to no success.

"Griff, come on, you need to get up!" Simmons moaned

" _5 more minutes…"_ came the drowsy replied from behind the door

"But Griff, Sarge will be here any minute for-"

"MERRY CHRISTMAS DIRTBAG" Sarge yelled, kicking down the door to Griff's room, revealing as expected a complete and total pigsty with Griff looking like a deer in headlights "It's time for what I like to call the 12 drills of Christmas!"

Griff stood "Ummm...I can't...I think I'm coming down with something..." He said, faking a cough. "I guess this means Simmons will just have to do mine for me…"

Sarge stood, glaring at the orange slob "Hmmmm... Normally I would yell at you to get your lazy bum out and get running to kill some blu-I mean grimm! But it is Christmas, so in the holiday season, I'll let you get some rest. Now come on Simmons! You need to work double time for your teammate!"

Simmons looked in horror "But Sir, he's obviously faking it!" He complained

"IS THAT INSUBORDINATION I HEAR!?" Sarge growled, cocking his shotgun

"NO SIR!"  
"THEN I WANT TO HEAR YOUR FEET RUNNING DOWN THE HALLS BEFORE I DECK YOU IN THE HALLS! AND DONUT, QUITE PLAYING WITH YOUR BELLS!"

Doc looked outside, his window, looking at the snow covered campus "What a lovely day" He said, before his facial features twisted to something like that of a cartoon villain "YES, What a lovely day to bath in the blood of our enemies! MWHAHAHAHAHA"

"That's not very nice. I wonder what I should get for the white elephant the other staff is doing" Doc said, his face back to normal

"THE SPINES OF THEIR STUDENTS!"

"I'm thinking a nice set of plates."

"ALL THE BETTER BREAK OVER THERE HEADS!"

"But now that I think about, I kinda want some myself"

"YES, LET YOUR GREED CONTROL YOU!"

"But, I do think Port could get more use for it than I would"

"YES, SHOVED DOWN THE FAT MAN'S THROAT AS YOU CRUSH THE PLATE BY STOMPING ON HIS NECK"

"Ya know, I think I will use it for the white elephant. That's what Christmas is about"

"I WILL DEVOUR YOUR HEART AND CRAP OUT YOUR SOUL"

Jaune looked at the Doctor in horror as Doc turned to him "So, about that-"

"YeahI'mFineNowSoBye!" Jaune said as he left the room in a borderline sprint.

"I love how safe this school is! The students hardly ever need my medical expertise!"

 **11 Schemes of Roman**

"ALL F**KING 11 OF MY PLANS! FOILED" The ginger haired mobster yelled as it echoed throughout the warehouse. Neo silently snickered as Torchwick continued to vent "I don't get it! I work so hard, so f**king hard, to be stopped not even by little red and her gang, as much as they've been a thorn in my side, but by a group of 2 colored idiots and a duo of jackasses in that don't know that underwear is worn inside the pants! A BUNCH OF REDS AND BLUES AND WANNA BE SUPERHEROES! "

"To be fair, you do suck" Emerald offered

"Shut up! Nobody asked you! Even the christmas tree scam turned out to be a bust, Only person gullible enough to buy one was ironically my sworn enemy!"

"Yes, your sworn enemy, a 17 year old girl with a thing for the color red. You truly are a legendary criminal."

"CAN IT"

 **12 Churchs bitching!**

"Did we ever decide who was who?" One of the Churches questioned

"I'm the Alpha A.I., so I should be head Church." The white hologram spoke up

"SO ARE WE" Yelled about 6 or so colbalt blue robots plus 1 yellow one

"Look, I had the most time and I remember everything, plus I helped stopped the director!" The Epsilon Church debated

"Hey, I'm the most evil one here!" Spoke a rather… sinister sounding one

"Shut up O'Malley"

"Well, I'm the one who was here first" Spoke the hunter in training Church who was beginning to develop a serious migraine. Was this what his bitching felt like to his team?

"What about that one of there, the one not wearing any armor and with the beard"

Burnie Burns sat crying in the corner "Could have done anything. I was head of a successful company. Helped create the longest running webseries. Just had to activate that f**king portal. God damn it Barb..."

Tex rolled her eyes upon looking at the world's weirdest case of schizophrenia. "I give him one present labeled to him and they can't decide who its too."


	19. Chapter 17 Fox on the Run

**9 Months To Live  
** **Chapter 17; Fox on the Run**

 **Disclaimer: Lone (** **and totally not Meep)** **Encountered a wild Rights to RWBY! What do they do?  
** ***Selects pokeball, and throws it*  
** **You can't steal someone else's property!  
** **Lone** **and (not) Meep** **: GOD DAMN IT!  
** **Meep: I am** _**totally**_ **not involved with that guy's (who I** _ **definitely**_ **don't know)** ***subtly points at LW* attempts to steal the rights of RWBY. Definitely not involved. Totally uninterested in owning the rights to RWBY. This is** _ **CLEARLY**_ **not suspiciously repetitive denial. You. Saw. NOTHING.**

 **AN: "I guess Blake's parents are rather poor." I feel like Rooster Teeth is making me look like the biggest idiot. God damn you episode 5! Her parents are basically the rulers of a f**king island! Now I just feel awkward… more so than you usual. How was I supposed to know her dad was the Chieftain of Not-Hawaii (Miles, Kerry, I think your hype for Sun and Moon went too far) I could not predict that. I can only predict humor. Not actual plot. Other than Pyrrha getting killed. She had wayyyy too much angst to live (I am an asshole). Well, back to the actual note and not my commentary of V4. Also, the reason for the slow updates is because my life has been the working on the musical How To $ucceed, and writing this between rehearsals has been tedious, that and the Month of Lancaster, made by yours truly and heavily helped with by AnonymousPrick and LeafyDream. Seriously, these people are amazing, and makes me glad to be a part of the Lancaster ship. Now to answer some questions  
** " **Is Al'Aran the Captain?" What? Why would I have one of the best RWBY fanfic writers as the main villain? No, thats st- I mean, yes. I totally declared them as the villain. Totally not who most people think. Mwah. Ha. Ha.  
** " **How pregnant is Ruby?" Um...I kinda forgot this myself for a bit. *Awkward laugh* Um… sorry?  
** **Meep: We're looking at around 5-6 months  
** **LW: Yeah, what he said. Ironically, I think around the time I started this, the babies would be born by now. Go figure.  
** **"How does Yang know all this V4 stuff about Raven when this only Qrow met by meeting in V4?" Simple. Once again, don't know how many of times I said this, but this fic takes place 3 years after their freshman year in an alternate reality where Cinder was stopped and killed before her plan for the Vytal Festival could come to fruition. How you might ask? I do have a clear plan on what happened and will have a full fleshed out chapter for it, it's just finding a place for it. As for Yang, Qrow eventually decided to tell her more about Raven as she got older, as to give her better idea who her mother really is. That's why she knows, and as for Tai, I would expect that he already knows. Also, fuck you, I took some liberties.  
** **Now, Chapter, Away! *Hopes onto motorcycle backwards and rides it out the window*  
** **Meep: I gave up questioning you and your antics long ago.**

* * *

"Yello, Ladies" Said a certain avian named individual as a group of nice looking females in skirts no daddy would approve of walking into the bar.

Qrow was having a good day. He managed to succeed in clearing out the grimm that had been troubling the small town, and the townspeople were foolish-I mean humble enough to give him free drinks at the bar. Jokes on them, there's not a person alive who could outdrink him!

Qrow looked down and saw his scroll buzzing with Ozpin's ugly mug on the screen. God, that man had the uncanny ability of ruining his fun. No, wait, that was Glynda, or was it Raven, or maybe that was that one time he got revenge on Tai for the whole kilt shinigan...eh, he was drunk at the time. And he would be drunk now. Downing the rest of his eleventeen glass, Qrow picked up and answered the phone.

"Sup Ozzy."  
"You're drunk, aren't you." Came the dry, sarcastic reply from the headmaster.

"And you have a coffee mug in the other hand drinking the special brew" Qrow remarked as sure enough, there was a pause followed by a sip

"I refuse to acknowledge that statement."

Qrow shook his head "So, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that this is not a social call, as I'm pretty sure you never even heard of those."

Ozpin sighed over the line "Sadly, yes. I think we might need to start acting fast. The Witch is taking action. Ever since we took out Cinder, she's been quiet...too quiet. And with the recent break out of Torchwick, I fear it's a sign. One starts by sending the pawns first in chess."

"I see where you're getting at Oz," Qrow started, walking to the back of the bar for more privacy "So what do you want our next course of action to be?"

"Considering I haven't heard in from my mole in a while, I think it would be best if we contact Torchwick...but we can't have you doing it. You're known as the Killer of a world known terrorist. We want to get information from the man, not scare him into running away or getting his superior."  
Qrow frowned.. Killing Cinder was something he carried with him, but it ended a lot of pain, pain that would have went to his nieces if he didn't act. Quickly recollecting himself, Qrow answered Oz "Alright, so I'm guessing are next course of action will be getting the newest member his first mission. This will be one hell of a hazing, Oz." Qrow chuckled as he could almost hear Glynda groan in the background. "Oh hey, I'm on speaker. How was graduation this year Glynda?"

"YOUR IRRESPONSIBLE-"

Qrow hung up the scroll the scroll with speed rivaling his niece. "Sorry Oz" He said to himself as he layed down a twenty on the counter "You did ruin my fun, so it's only fair I ruin some of yours"

And with that, a black bird took off into the night sky.

* * *

Jaune was having a fun time. Renovating the cabin his parents giving him had been a rather slow process, mainly getting rid of the lightish red paint, which Jaune quickly found that a painter he was not. On the upside, he now possessed a ball of painters tape the size of his head, and his house was now possessed walls of reds, blues, yellows, and a little black. True, it took several trips to the store, which was depressing when you live in a cabin in the woods and a decent distance from civilization, but hey, trial and error! He was now done with painting the nursery, and was now strug-building a cradle that he swore the instructions to were in a foreign language. Building Croissant Luna was easier than this! And he nearly burned his face off! But still, doing this, it was kinda cementing the fact that he was gonna be father soon. He was one part terrorfied, one part excited, and the other part anxious. He and Ruby were gonna be parents in a little under 3 months…

"You still struggling with the cradles?" Ruby's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey!" Jaune "Not my fault they designed these things to be built by rocket scientists!"

"Just let me try. We both know I'm better at mechanics than you. My precious can testify that" Ruby said, looking at the collapsible sniper scythe that brought end to many grimm lying on the counter.

Jaune's pride would have none of this. He could do this, damn it! "Look, I've almost got it…" he said, tightening the last screw

"Well...not sure it could pass as something an infant could sleep in...maybe a piece of modern art…" Ruby started trailing off.

"It's not that bad!"

"Oh hey guys, I just came here to ge- Oh god, what the hell is that thing?" Qrow said as walked into the room and laid eyes on the...thing.

"Qrow!" Ruby squealed, and tackled the semi sober man in a hug

"Whoa, easy there Kiddo!" Qrow chuckled "You got a two on the way"

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much!" The younger scythe user huffed

"Then why did you have me run to the bakery in the middle of the night to get you strawberry and chocolate chip cookies" Jaune piped up from the background "And for the record, this is a crib!"

Ruby blushed as red as her hood "Not my fault I was craving cookies. And that's not a crib"

"Gotta agree with my niece on this, Kid. It looks more like a piece of modern art" Qrow said, squinting at the attempted construction.

"That's what I said! Hi five!" Ruby grinned as Jaune just grumbled in the corner, muttering something about the two of them both had it out for him.

"So what brings you to our humble cabin, Uncle Qrow?" Ruby asked the semi sober man.

Qrow chuckled "Both of yours, eh? Man they grow up fast. Good news is the neighbors don't have to worry about the noise."

Both Jaune and Ruby blushed heavily at Qrow's implication "Oh, no! Not like that! I mean, we both just wanted to be close to the kids when they come…" Ruby frantically said while shaking her head  
"Yeah...we're taking things slow…" Jaune also added

"Sure...sure…" Qrow said with a knowing smile, but then quickly sobered "I actually need to speak to Vomit boy over there."

Jaune groaned. That stupid nickname would haunt him for the rest of his life. But what did Qrow want him for? Oh god. he probably wanted to murder him in a back alley way!

"Hey kiddo, could you leave me and Jasmine"

"Jaune"

"Whatever, alone for a bit?" Qrow asked the short huntress.

Ruby smiled "Sure! Wouldn't hurt for you two to bond some! Have fun!" and with that, she left the room.

"So what do you want Qrow?" Jaune asked as soon as Ruby was out of earshot, fearing for the worst.

"What I want is to be in a bar in the halfway through a drink that I had so many of I lost count hours ago Jared. No, what I came here for is because Ozpin has your first mission for ya. You will be investigating the terrorist self proclaimed master thief and mobster, Roman Limpdick" Qrow said while guzzling from his flask

Jaune looked at his future children's great uncle "Okay, 1, It's Jaune. I've told you this at least 30 times now. 2, I'm pretty sure it's Torchwick. Do you have some vendetta against people's names? And are you sure I'm the right guy for this? I mean, I don't think I'm quite ready yet for a mission of that calibe-"

Jaune was quickly cut off as blade came swishing at him, barely enough time to dodge the massive silver of Qrow's sword.

"Seem's ready enough to me" The semi drunk man cheekily said as he sheathed his weapon.

"Did you just try to kill me?!"

"Nope"

"DID YOU JUST TRY TO KILL ME?!"

"Nope. Now come on kiddo, enough rambling on. We got a bullhead to make, or else I'm leaving you, and then Oz will yell at me, and cut my booze funding and then I really will have to kill you, and then have to explain to my niece why I turned her boyfriend into swiss cheese. So get your armor and weapons kid." Qrow said casually as he began to walk off

Jaune stood still "He just tried to kill me. Agian. Is death threats a regular thing of my life now? Was I some sort of horrible person in a past life?"

"QUIT COMPLAINING AND START GETTING YOUR STUFF! AND DITCH THE HOODIE!" Qrow called out from the horizon

Jaune took offense. First Ruby, now her maniac of a drunk uncle (or drunkle as she stated) "IT'S A COLLECTOR'S ITEM!" He growled back. Jaune had worn his Bunny hoodie all his time at Beacon, no time to stop now! Besides, it was soooo comfy and warm, and the bunny was so cute!

"So, what was that?"

Jaune turned around to see Ruby leaning against the door frame. Crap! Did she here the whole thing? No, fake it till you make it! What was the saying, the best lies have half truths? "Oh you're Uncle...is taking me shopping to get a new threads. Something about my regular hoodie not fitting for a hunter."

"It has cute wittle bunny wabbit!"

"There is nothing wrong with it!"

"Jaune, no offense, but no one will really take you serious in a bunny hoodie. Maybe a new look would be good since we're hunters now. Just don't come back looking like my Uncle. Or smelling like him" She cringed.

"Trust me, I'll be back before you even now it!" Jaune smiled, and grabbed his weapons and buckled his sword belt to his jeans

"Wait, why do you need you weapons?" Ruby asked  
 _Oh crap._ "Um...to see if they go with the outfit?"

"Oh okay!"

Thank god Ruby was as naive as she was. That, or Jaune really needed to check how she picked out her clothes...BAD PERVERTED THOUGHTS. "OkayHeadingOutNowBYE!" Jaune said, bolting out the door at near Ruby speeds, hiding his blushing face.

Qrow looked surprised as Jaune ran up to him "Wow, that was fast. What did you do?"

"Long story short, we might need to go buy me some new threads after this."

"Finally, now I can show you how to dress like a real huntsmen."

"Without looking like a drunkard"

"That I am." He replied, flask out and taking a sip from it. This was going to be a long flight.

* * *

The moment they landed in Vale, Jaune and Qrow both made a beeline straight for the trashcans, upchucking the contents of their stomachs.

"Damn air sickness" Jaune moaned as he continued to empty the contents of his stomach. Only he would forget his medication for flight

"I regret nothing" Qrow said in between vomiting. Not his fault the flight had free drinks. Did he go overboard? No...maybe...a little. But not his fault they had cheap crap. He could easily handle his drink, it's just that the drinks from last night, mixed with this, plus the lack of food he had, just added to it.

After the two hunters finished getting rid of their lunch, Qrow looked to Jaune and fished out two things out of his pocket, an earpiece and a piece of paper.

"Here kid. This is an earpiece for contact with me, cutting edge tech. I can hear everything you hear, and you can hear me. I'll be right behind you in case you need back up. Now on the paper is the address my leads located Limpdick. Supposedly, he's been less discreet about his hatred over his new boss, so your main goal will be to find out about said boss, and secondary will be to to see if you get get him to make a deal. Now, Limpdick is expecting Oz to send someone, so don't blow it kid"

Jaune picked the earpiece and address "But what am I-" Jaune looked up to see Qrow gone, the only the was a black bird flying off in the distance. Jaune groaned. Great. Looking at the address, Jaune begin to find his way to the place.

* * *

Jaune looked in the empty room of a large warehouse near the docks of southwest Vale "You're sure your contact is right?" He whispered into his earpiece

" _Look kid, have I ever proved you wrong before?"_

"Your supposed help with Ruby's dad" He deadpanned

" _Hey, you're alive, aren't you kid?"_

"I'm not even gonna start-"

"Wow, this is what they send? Some scraggly guy who talks to himself. They are just scraping the bottom of the barrel. I would have thought they would have sent Red, or maybe her blonde bimbo sister, the heiress, Mittens, hell, any of the 4 that got me landed in the slammer. Get them a little payback for putting me and jail and foiling my schemes. "

Jaune turned to see Torchwick walk into the room, twirling his cane. His hand instantly went to his blade and holster unsheathing his sword, shield and revolver, only for Torchwick to raise his cane at him

"If you lay one hand on them, so help me…" Jaune growled, fire in his eyes

"Easy there, Kiddo!" The Mobster called out to Jaune "We just got started here, don't want to have to pay the janitor extra to clean a body"

Jaune but his sword back in its sheath but didn't take his hand off the grip. He knew better than to trust a criminal.

Roman went to a table in the middle, set his cane on it, then sat down. "What are you doing, Cereal Bowl, thought I heard you wanted to talk" He replied impatiently

Really, cereal bowl? Okay, maybe it was time to retire the pumpkin pete's hoodie. Afterall, he an official hunter now. But still, all that boxtops…

" _Focus kid, Take a seat at the table. Torchwick wants to talk. Set your weapons on the table. By the looks of things, he has most of his men on standby, but not in the room. As long as you don't attack him, you'll be fine."_

"And what if he attacks me?" Jaune whispered as he slowly approached the table and set his sword and revolver on it

" _That's why I'm here"_

"Oh and that's reassuring." Jaune groaned

"You done talking to your boss?" Torchwick asked, catching the Arc by surprise "What, I'm only a criminal mastermind, not an idiot, boy."

Jaune quickly recollected himself. "So, what do you want?"

Roman started laughing, it echoing through the empty warehouse "What do I want?! I want a million lien, a private yacht, my own fashion line, some competent men, and a life free from the law. Oh, and Neo wants a Ice cream truck with a machine gun turret mounted on top. But Boxtop, I want many things"

"Look, we need information on the person know as the Captain-"

"Gladly." Roman cut him off. "But at a price." The thug stood up and started pacing around the room. "You see," Roman started "I was on Cinder's side because she presented it as the best option at the time. Obviously, she was wrong, and my misplaced trust got me put in jail for a long, long time. Do you have any idea how boring it is? I have no intention of returning to jail cell. No. So this asshat, the Captain, as he goes by, breaks me out and wants me to start up my old job again. But if I learned one thing for sure while you had me locked up tighter than a Schnee's purse, is that you goody little two shoes will stop him one way another, or try anyway. So I give you an offer. I can help you and make your job a whole lot easier, but I want my get out of jail free card, and for the government to turn a blind eye to any of my personal endeavors. Or you could refuse, and deal with the guilt of millions that this guy could kill and harm, but hey, that's not my problem" Roman said smoothly.

Jaune paused for a moment. " _He brings up a good point kid"_ Qrow spoke to him quietly " _Normally I would not make a deal with criminals, especially one as slippery as Limpdick here. But his offer is good...too good. I would have you ask for more time. We need to check with Oz for this. Also, tell him Branwen says hi Limpdick"_

"I'm not saying that!" Jaune said out loud

"Saying what?" Torchwick asked

"Nothing"

" _Say it."_

Jaune sighed "Well, me and my partner have decided to talk with the higher ups on your request. Also, Branwen says...oh god I am doing this...Hi Limpdick."

Torchwick looked at Jaune with his jaw open and paled several shades. "B..b...branwen?" He stuttered, then returned to normal "LIMPDICK!?" Torchwick growled, getting up.

Jaune quickly took this as his cue to leave. "Well, it was nice meeting you Mr. Torchwick, but I have things to do, and need to review over your proposal. WellByeHopeToSeeYouAgianNever!" and with that, Jaune made his exit out of the warehouse, rushing past the cheap third rate thugs with ease as he made his to his rendezvous with Qrow. Was there someone he could report Qrow to? Seriously, the elder huntsmen was awesome to have on the field fighting with, but otherwise, he just seemed like bad luck.

Roman was stood in the warehouse, still stunned over the whole meeting. He would need to find more out on Boxtop. Seriously, he was honestly expecting one of those damn girls to show up and resume be the thorn in his side, but no, he got some blond scraggly idiot. But at the same time, they had him having Qrow Branwen as back up, the person who killed his last boss. Roman held nothing against the man for killing his former boss, expect fear. Cinder was someone extremely powerful, in fact, that was one of the main selling points that made him start working for her. The people from the other side must have been very wise with this meeting. They didn't want to showcase their big gun as it would have had Torchwick run as Qrow could have easily disposed of him, Neo or no Neo. But this new guy acted as a middle man. Smart. Looking towards one of his men, he pointed his cane at at his head and released the safety.

"Tell one word of this meeting to the Captain and I'll have your replacement cleaning your brains off the floor" The mobster growled.

The poor grunt nodded fiercely, and then went back to work. Roman had a lot to do, and little time to do it.

* * *

"I really don't like you right now." Jaune scowled as he met up with Qrow.

Sure enough, the tall willowy man was cackling away "Tell me, what did his face look like? It had to be priceless." Qrow said, barely holding in his laughter.

"Seriously, why did you have me say that?!" he questioned the drunken man.

"One, it was fucking priceless and you know it. Two, it lets him know who he's dealing with, and what's to come if he tries any funny business."

"And three, you're drunk." Jaune said. Torchwick did seem to know what he was doing, which was more than Jaune did, and not only that, the man seemed to have something of a vendetta against team RWBY.

"Well, let's go report back to Oz, kid." Qrow said, dusting off his pants off and beginning to walk towards the bullhead station.

Jaune was about to follow the man when he remembered something he said earlier to Ruby that Torchwick brought attention to. "Yeah, about that…"

Qrow groaned "Look, if it's about your air sickness, I will personally dangle you from the ship if I have to."

"What!? No!" Jaune yelped. "I just kinda told Ruby that we were going clothes shopping in order to cover up the mission, and now she's expecting me to come home in something other than my hoodie."

Qrow rubbed his temples. "Well, at least I get to burn that little bunny hoodie."

"WHAT?!"

"Joking, kid, just joking. Now come on Justin. We got to hit my store before it closes. Time to get you some style."

"It's...you know what, I give up." Jaune groaned, and followed the drunken man to their destination.

* * *

Jaune looked at himself in the mirror, the new clothes actually looking pretty good. No longer did he have the jeans and hoodie combo, but this time a navy and pale grey button up with silver trims, and dark navy slacks and black combat boots to finish it off. The only problem was that his armor seemed...small. Jaune knew he grew during his years at Beacon, but he just never really took time to get it. When he first entered Beacon, the armor was loose on him, and he had it tightened to the max. Now, it felt old, battered, and too small. Maybe it was time to retire it. After all, it was one of his sisters early chest pieces from their training, maybe it was time to get his own.

"You done yet kid? They already kicked me out of the bar next door."

Jaune's thoughts quickly snapped back. Oh well, he'll get new armor later. For now, the sun was beginning to set, and they still had to report to Ozpin.

Jaune went to the cashier to pay for his new threads only to find them already payed for by Qrow.

"Consider it a gift kid. Now go catch that bullhead back to Patch. I'll report to Oz for us. Tell Ruby I said hi and for Yang to stay out of my booze stash hidden at Tai's house."

"Qrow, I…" Jaune was speechless.

"Just go kid. Be with Ruby."

Jaune headed out the store, the sun setting back behind him. Qrow looked at the silhouette of the Arc, the boy walking towards the Vale airport. However, for a brief moment, Qrow could have swore he saw something familiar, a different Blonde, a different Rose, a different time. Damn, Oz was rubbing off on him, all the damn sentiment. With a turn of his heel, the dusty old bird set off to Beacon tower, the wings of the ashen bird flying into the burning sky.

* * *

 **Omake: Cards Against Remnant.**

It was a quiet day at Beacon as team RWBY, JNPR, and Sun and Neptune enjoyed the beginning of the weekend.

Needless to say, Yang aimed to fix that.

"Hey fellow huntresses, hunters, Weiss Cream-"

"Hey!"

"I just got the Horse Faunus expansion pack for Cards against Remnant! Anyone want to play?"

"What's Cards against Remnant?" Ruby and Jaune asked, voicing the opinion of nearly everyone there but Sun and Neptune, who were just giggling like maniacs in the corner, as they played it before with the rest of SSSN.

Yang grinned "Why I'm so glad you asked…"

After explaining the rules, they finally begin to play. The first black card was played with Yang as the card czar. The card read as following: _Why am I sticky?_

Ruby and Jaune's eyes went wide with shock as they went through there hand, Weiss puked a little in her mouth, Nora whispered to Ren about what one of her cards meant and seemed... _intrigued_ with his answer, Blake seemed unphased, and poor Pyrrha was trying her best to play but failing.

Finally Yang received cards from everyone. "Alright, Why am I sticky?" She said, the begin flipping up the white cards "The Biggest Horse Faunus dick." Yang said with a straight face as everyone laughed hard except Blake, who scowled. Yang continued on "Why am I sticky? Schnee Labor camps"

"HEY"  
Yang ignored Weiss and went on reading "Why am I sticky? 5000 volts straight to the nipples. I would fear the day Nora tried that" Yang commented as said Valkyrie gave a crazy grin as Ren shuddered. "Why am I sticky? An **[1]** Electra Complex" Yang paused for a moment. "NOPE. NOPE. NOPE." And with that, she threw the card out the window and burned it with a blast from Ember Celica, Sun's face falling as he watched his card and chance of winning fall (out the window and turn to dust in the wind) "Why am I sticky? Why am I sticky? An Oedipus complex **[2]**..." This one got the same treatment as before, also getting shot out the window in a blaze of glory as Neptune joined Sun. "Why am I sticky? 8 oz. of sweet black tar mexican heroin...well that escalated quickly. Why am I sticky? Testicular Torsion!" Yang said with a grin as every guy at the table cringed "Ah, memories. Wonder if they still would let me in to that club. Next card, Why am I sticky? Nicholas Cage. Awh, but the BEES! Anybody? Come on, you making me feel _Caged_ here!" Yang quipped as everyone at the table booed.

Yang rolled her eyes and continued on "Why am I sticky? Firing a rifle sword while balls deep in a squealing boarbatusk."

"Why does that sound like something from Professor Port's stories?" Jaune questioned

"Well that's _grimm_ image. Eh? Eh?"

"Yang, we will take the cards away from you if you don't stop" Blake and Weiss growled at the buxom blonde.

"Alright, Alright" The Buxom Blonde Brawler moaned "Why am I sticky? ATLAS DUNGEON PORN! ADP!"

Everyone at the table looked to Weiss

"What?" Weiss questioned "Look, just because my family lives in Atlas and we're rich doesn't mean we have something as crude as a sex dungeon!...at least I hope"

* * *

Winter sneezed

"Gastight" Qrow said

The eldest Schnee nodded then turned to the dusty bird "Now the safe word is Snowbird" And with that she tightened the straps

"Wait wha-OH...That's unfortunate"

* * *

By the end of the night, many laughs were made, play of the game went to Blake judging the white card _raising an army of 6 million faunus and conquering Atlas_ for the black card _what are you doing that you can't call your mother_? Needless to say, rules were made for some cards never to be spoken of again. But the one thing nobody expecting was Ruby winning the game. When asked on how she knew most of these things, she merely blushed as red as her cloak and responded with the internet and Blake's books. Blake seemed to shrink under the glare Yang was giving her, but still defended her smu- adult books.

* * *

 **1: Electra Complex: when a child (usually female) gains the desire to murder their** **parents in order to have a sexual relationship with their father.  
** **2: Oedipus Complex: when a child wishes for a sexual relationship with their mother. I'll let you think on those two. Mwhahahahahahahahahaha.**


	20. Chapter 18 Piano Man

**9 Months to Live**

 **Chapter 18; Piano Man.**

 **Disclaimer: *Goes to pull the rights to RWBY out of the forest pedestal but runs out of heart containers and dies.* I don't own RWBY. Yet. Just a few more shrines. No, I will not stop playing Breath of the Wild**

 **AN: So...this fic is now one year old. A year ago I decided to run with the idea of Jaune and Ruby accidently having a kid, and up till that point, I'd never really written anything of real success. As I stated before, I wrote this to counter volume 3's dark ending, and the not so bright future ahead for the characters we love in Volume 4. Imagine my surprise when I found how much people liked it when I woke up the next morning after posting it. Never before in my life had I thought of the impact it would have both on me and Lancaster ship. I've started the community To the Socially Awkward, made some laughs, helped make the Month of Lancaster a thing, met great people I don't even know in person, my editor included. Damn, the passage of time never ceases to amaze me. So thank you all so much for making one idiot with a laptop and too much time on his hands a happy man.  
** **Now enough of that mushy crap as I don't do emotions, to questions.  
** " **Will I make a Cards Against Remnant series? Probably not, seeing as I found about 75% done with the omake that there is actually a fanfic of that, and it's more popular than 9 Months To Live, and I even used the same name by coincidence.  
** **Huh. Oh AWAY *jumps out the window while flipping off Meep*  
** **Meep: … rude**

* * *

Jaune looked at down at the familiar warehouse. It had been a 2 weeks since the he first met the criminal Torchwick, and he was shocked to find out the Ozpin actually agreed to the criminal's terms.

" _Mr Arc" Ozpin addressed him as Jaune entered the familiar office. The campus of Beacon for the most part was empty, as most students were enjoying their summer vacation, though Jaune did overhear from passing by the teacher's lounge that there were 2 freshmen teams at some hunter version of summer school with Coach Sarge. Poor souls. Jaune shuddered at memories of the buckshot at his heels on the track. But back to the present, the headmaster turned to address the blonde knight. "You consider yourself a tactician of sorts, what would you think our situation?"_

 _Jaune paused for a moment. "Torchwick was a criminal who was known for siding with the strong, right? So for him to even consider making a deal with us could be taken two ways. Either he doesn't have faith in his employer for keeping his safety in mind, or we're looking at the end of deal to screw us over big time, framing the Hunter community for negotiating with criminals and having a mole in our group, not the other way around. Personally I wouldn't accept his terms just yet as I still don't trust him."_

 _The headmaster nodded "Very good, Mr Arc. We must take our next move carefully, as it not one to be taken lightly. For now though, next time you meet with Torchwick inform him that we accept his terms."_

" _Yeah sure... WAIT, WHAT!? WHY?!"_

" _As you yourself noted Jaune, Torchwick is known for siding with those that he believes will benefit him. After how Cinder treated him as disposable he probably is even more cautious with siding with this Captain figure than ever before. Therefore he would logically open up an escape route of some sort to get away from the Captain. In this case, we appear to be his escape method."_

 _Jaune could agree with Ozpin's reasoning, but still was hesitant towards this._

Jaune's thoughts quickly returned back to the present, and slowly entered the warehouse, his hand close to his weapons, read to draw at a moment's notice. On the upside, his aim with his revolver had been making leaps and bounds, as in now he might actually hit his intended target, so fingers crossed if the situation got heated, he had that to turn to.

"You again Boxtop?"

Jaune scowled as the criminal called him by that as Roman strolled into the room, twirling his cane as a short girl with the strangest hair color(s) he'd ever seen. However, what concerned him was the grin the girl had. It was not the _I'm so happy because I just got a puppy,_ it was the _I'm so happy because I stabbed your puppy right in front of you._

Approaching slowly, Jaune sat at the table, Roman following suit, both setting their weapons down on the table.

"So…" Jaune said slowly "Why did you bring a little girl here" God, he needed to work on his conversation starters.

Roman laughed "One, kiddo, she's older than you, and two, she's acting as my bodyguard, since last time you had Mr Big Bird himself watching your back."

Jaune had to muffle a laugh at Torchwick's nickname for Qrow. He would have to try that someone time. But back to the topic at hand "So, Mr Torchwick" He began "I've talked with my superiors, and we've decided to agree to your conditions, but we wish to change a few things first."

Roman's face transitioned from a smug grin to a scowl "Alright, what's the catch, bunny boy?"

"Really? I'm not even wearing it anymore!" Jaune exclaimed.

"Too late" The criminal stated "First impressions are everything. Now what are these terms?"

Jaune brought out his scroll, reading Ozpin's direct words "If you are to take any action against the business of huntsmen in the future, this will immediately nullify any contract we have with you, and we immediately hunt you like the beasts we've been trained to kill. Any personal activities you have outside the law are by thus your own responsibly, and no huntsmen or huntress will pursue you, nor defend you. We will, however, not turn a blind eye to any murders. These are our terms, Mr Torchwick."

The mobster seemed to ponder over this. On one hand, he could continue his robbing and extortion, but it also would mean he would never get the tempting challenge to test his abilities and get even with the pest who got him in jail. "Guess this means little red is off limits." Torchwick dismissed casually.

Jaune gripped the handle of his sword "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER."

Roman raised his hands "Geez, kid, no need to get so defensive. God, what are you two, dating or something?"

"..."

"Oh my god, you two are." The Mobster cracked up, laughing like crazy "Oh, this is PRICELESS! How did you two get together, were you both drunk or something?"

"..."

"IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER" Roman laughed out. Finally, after spending a good minute laughing his ass off, Torchwick finally straightened out. "I was just messing with you Boxtop. I have no current intention of going after little Red. The original plan at the time was to get me in jail. Cinder just didn't attack like she said she would."

Jaune scowled. At least there was one less problem to deal with. "So, you expect our terms?"

Roman puffed from his cigar "Sure, boxtop. Beats rotting in a cell like last time. Oh!" He said, standing up "I almost forgot. You see, I need to convince my boss on some things, because lets face it, it would be pretty suspicious if suddenly the huntsmen just gave me the blind eye. So, come on out boys!"

Jaune turned around to see at least a dozen armed thugs, each holding red blades, black suits, and red sunglasses. "Wait, you can't be serious!" He growled out in anger at Torchwick.

The man merely shrugged "I need to make it look convincing. Plus, think of it this way, if you don't die, I take on a new view on life. And if you do, well… It was funny knowing you kid. GET HIM BOYS!" With that, Roman snapped his fingers, the short girl skipped over to him and waved her umbrella around her and Roman in a circular motion, and the two seemed to fade out of the room, leaving Jaune in with a group of angry looking thugs...great.

Jaune set his hands behind his back, having them slowly inch towards Croceas Mor and Croissant Luna "Well, I think if we all get down to, we could settle our differences and-"

The lead thug, a man who seemed to a foot taller than Jaune and double his muscle mass, bellowed out "BREAK HIS LEGS, MEN"

 _Oh hey, Nora would have a blast_ Jaune thought as he quickly drew out his blade, the scabbard folding out into its shield form and attached firmly to his left bracer, and held his revolver. Bashing the closet thug in the head with his shield, the man fell to the ground. Taking quick aim with his gun, Jaune spun the barrel till it he got the rounds he was looking for. Shooting into the middle of the angry herd, he missed every thug.

One of them took notice "HA! YOU MI-"

He never got to finish his taunt, as the shells promptly exploded in a flash of bright light, blinding them.

Jaune took this as his que to get some distance, and hid the best way he knew how. Video game logic be damned, hiding in a cardboard box was perfectly fine!

Now despite training at Beacon and big tips on swordplay by Pyrrha on how to adapt in combat situations, he still needed some time to think on how to take out several armed men. It would have been foolish for him to take them on all at once, despite his superior skill and aura, they had him at sheer numbers. Croissant Luna was out of the question, as the revolver was too loud to offer much in stealth. No, his best course of action was to divide and conquer, get as many separated as possible. God, what he would have done for a semblance like Blake's or Sun's right now. Or maybe even Ren. But he had to work with what he had.

Seeing the head thug barking out orders to goons to search the warehouse for him, Jaune saw his opportunity rise. Slowly moving just enough, Jaune saw a group of 3 guards walk towards his cozy dark corner. He would have to make this quick and efficient.

"Look man, I'm just saying, the only reason I'm doing this is because of the dental." Commented one of the guards

"Yeah, our 401 k isn't really the best, but at least I don't have to worry about my teeth that much" said his friend

"Look, could we just-" The last guard was cut off as Jaune sprung up from his cardboard box, slamming the bottom of the sword hard on one's head, then slapping the flat of his blade against the other, then delivering a powerful shield bash, knocking all three out in record time. Ah, he was so glad he took time to learn these takedowns, something Pyrrha never taught him as she herself lacked them, her fighting style more went for tournaments, where quick knockouts and cheapshots are frowned on.

Jaune then moved the fallen bodies with much strain. He was doing good, now to move on. Climbing up one of the vast crates, he left one of the thugs out in the open for bait.

Sure enough, the next small patrol bought it, and Jaune lept down, taking out one by using his shield as a board for landing and slamming directly on a thug, a painful crack as the poor man fell to the floor, catching the other two by surprise. Both pulled out their crimson cleavers and swung at the Arc.

His shield still at his feet, Jaune acted fast, raising Croceas Mor to block the blade, and side stepped to get out of the reach of the other. However, it was too late, and one of the thugs managed to make contact, scratching his thigh. Jaune's aura taking a notable dock. He would have to finish this faster and smarter. Using a technique Pyrrha taught him, Jaune moved his sword with skill, disarming the thug, and slammed his elbow hard into the back of the man's head, knocking him out cold.

Panting hard, Jaune turned around to take out the last one, only to be greeted with nothing. The thug ran, probably for reinforcements...crap baskets.  
The pattern of footfalls seemed to approach, and low and behold, nearly all of the thugs came marching down. Jaune looked for a way of escape, but quickly realized that he was cornered, the same corner he used to hide was damning him.

"Put your hands up in surrender! We have you surrounded!"

Jaune tightened his hand around Crocea Mors grip. He would not surrender, not to some cheap rate thugs. He had a duty as a hunter, for Ozpin, and for Ruby. He earned his title, time to heed Qrow's advice.

The blade of Crocea Mor begin to glow white, and Jaune raised his sword, and charged at the horde. The aura extension of the the blade sprung, but it was not enough yet. Focusing more of his aura, the glowing aura made the simple sword seem to be a massive spike of energy longer than him.

With a fierce cry, Jaune swung with all his might, the thugs sent flying across the warehouse, all of them sent flying in path of the massive silver blade.

Seeing all the thugs knocked out, Jaune finally felt the aura exhaustion kicking in. Sitting down against a crate, Jaune pulled out his scroll to see his aura in the red. As powerful as that attack was, he would need to only save it as a last resort. He didn't even have enough aura to give him the barrier from attacks.

"Ya know… not bad, Arc. Not bad" He said to himself.

However, his break was cut off as a large hand exploded through the crate, grabbing him up by the ankle, crushing it in a painfully tight grip

Jaune looked up to see the head thug from earlier, his face full of fury and Jaune's own shocked expression reflecting on the red sunglasses "Awh...crap baskets"  
His weapons lying on the floor, Jaune began to desperately fight himself free from the massive grunt's grip, but the man had a grip of iron, and his weapons laid on the floor as he thought the fight was over. However, Jaune quickly aimed a kick at the man's face with his free leg, his combat boot making contact as the sunglass broke with a crunch, causing the man to drop Jaune.

Jaune quickly backflipped and landed on his feet, but felt pain shoot up his right leg. Damn, his ankle. Grabbing his weapons quickly, Jaune got into a combat stance, shield and revolver in one hand, sword in the other

"I"M GONNA SMASH YOU, YA NOODLED ARM PRICK" The brute roared at him, and pulled out a massive war hammer, the thing looking like a giant meat tenderizer.

However, Jaune was shocked as the brute's eyes rolled behind his head, and fell to the ground with a thud.  
There behind him stood Qrow, spinning his sword, the barrels smoking, and blew the gunsmoke from it and sheathed the weapon onto his back. "Sup Jafar."

Jaune blinked "It's- nevermind, but why are you here, I thought this was my solo mission?"

"Well, considering how late this simple meet and greet ran, I decided to come and check on ya." Qrow said, letting out a low whistle as he looked around the warehouse, seeing unconscious goons scattered throughout "Nice work kid" he said, then gave a slight kick to the brute "But it seemed ya missed a spot"

"Thanks" Jaune said, sheathing his weapons. God, Ruby's Uncle could be a blessing or a curse, but one thing for sure, he was glad Qrow showed up when he did. "Hey, you think you could help me get home? I think my ankle got sprained or something"

"Sure, Jeffery" Qrow said, actually surprising Jaune. He then walked up to Jaune, handed him a bottle of aspirin, and started to walk off "I'm gonna go report back to Oz for ya. Stay off that leg till your aura kicks in kid" and with that, Qrow gave one more swift kick to the brute, and left Jaune.

The knight looked himself over, he was a mess. His new clothes were covered in scratches, his ankle hurt like a bitch, and he smelled of sweat. What the hell was he gonna tell Ruby?

* * *

The Captain looked over his Intel with care. His deadline from Salem would be coming in soon, and as foreboding as he was to his own men, having to answer to the grimm-like Lady was nerve wracking, regardless if he had failed or not. Qrow Branwen was onto Torchwick already, along with the surprising help of a Jaune Arc, a recent graduate of Beacon with a last name the man recognized. Years ago the Captain had met the boy under a different name, but the Captain never paid much time or thought to the boy, the only thing that really stuck out was his large aura and slight signs of tactical genius, but it was overshadowed by others from that year that caught his attention as more of a threat, such as Sun Wu Kong and Blake Belladonna, whom were currently leading a civil war between the faunus in hopes of overthrowing Taurus's iron grip over the White Fang, Yang Xia Long's fighting prowess on par with her father's, Valkyrie's legendary strength, and Lie's calm calculated fighting style. No, if there was one thing he could learn from his predecessor's failure, it was to not underestimate your enemies, as she poorly did. They may have been kids then, but they were the hunters of now, and he knew how each one was vulnerable in some way. The Captain had every intention of exploiting their weaknesses.

So imagine to his pleasant surprise that one of Ozpin's most prized students, Ruby Rose, was with child, and to add further, with the Arc boy that was assisting Qrow is the father. Already, he could see the plans align. Not only would he have an upper hand against one of the most feared hunters of the current era and his partner, but the possibilities he could have with the offspring; Soldiers with the power of silver eyes and the immense aura that the Arc family is known for… with an army like that he could take on anything, maybe even Salem herself.

"No, I must not take that line of thought any further, lest I fall into the same arrogance that cost my predecessor her life, but still this is if nothing else a chance to remove a significant threat while she is weak and is unable to act." The man chastised himself.

But his plan on using the offspring still had merit, and was possible. Pregnancy after al.l was known to drain on a huntress's aura and limited their combat abilities, so even a prodigy like Ruby Rose would be relatively easy to capture. The man let out a dark chuckle as he called his men to begin planning out this new objective. Mr Black and Ms Sustrai would soon have work to do.

* * *

Ruby was feeling lonely in the empty house. The past months had been a rollercoaster to her, from the party that got her and Jaune on the route to an early parenthood, dealing her and Jaune's family's trying to murder him, to the nice final weeks of Beacon with her fellow leader and her team. Even now, she had a picture of team RWBY all standing before in front of Beacon after graduation as well as her dad and Jaune's mom attempt on his life. The blonde had a knack for cheering her up, but now, wandering the halls of the new cabin, she felt like he was hiding something. Something him and her uncle knew.

Now normally, she was okay with Qrow keeping secrets. She respected his privacy, and the life of a hunter was never an easy one and her father did say Qrow and his sister came from a rough upbringing. But someone as close to her as Jaune, someone who was going to be the father of her children?

Maybe she was overreacting. But if there was one thing she hated was being lied to from people she was to trust completely. It nearly broke her heart when Blake kept out the information that she was a faunus. It was not because of her keeping it from them, but rather she felt she didn't trust her own team with a part of who she was. True, Blake was now done with this phase, but she was always a little cautious.

So what would drive Jaune to adopt such secretive behavior? Did he feel like she was ruining his career as a huntsmen?

Ruby was not one to jump to conclusions so rapidly, but over the past 2 weeks Jaune had begun to disappear more and more, with his excuses becoming increasingly harder to believe.

So she waited for him to return. And waited. And waited. Hours seemed to go by as she waited for the blonde knight to arrive, the night creeping over.

Finally, the door opened, a tired Jaune limped into the cabin, seemingly trying to avoid waking Ruby, before freezing in place upon seeing a displeased Ruby in the living room illuminated by the table lamp beside her.

"Where have you been?" Jaune turned around to see a tired Ruby looking furious at him.

"Ummm…The mall?" Jaune slowly said.

Ruby looked at Jaune with anger. "No, where have you been, not the excuses you attempt to give."

Jaune cringed. No, she couldn't find out. "Sorry, Ruby I can't-"

"Can't what, tell the mother of your unborn children where you are going?" Ruby ranted "Jaune, you can't leave me in the dark."

"Look, I'm telling you for your own good!" Jaune snapped.

"MY OWN GOOD! You knocked me up! What do you know about my own good?!"

"Oh, your own good! The fact that I literally had been threatened to the point of death by YOUR family just because we both made a mistake! I didn't see you dealing with a sword at your throat!"

"You think I wanted that to happen! I can't control my family! I don't need protected! So what are you hiding from me!? Are you so ashamed of this 'mistake' that you started another life?" Ruby shouted, tears falling down her eyes

Jaune finally snapped "NO! I've been doing work for Ozpin, as someone's been taking up Cinder's role!" Ruby's eyes widened in shock.

"Why didn't you tell me this? I could have helped" She said quietly

"That's the thing! You would have insisted on taking action regardless of words from me and others! I didn't want you to get hurt! I could not have you hurt on the field, I couldn't have you die on the field with our unborn children! I don't want our kids to grow up without a mother like you did, damn it!"

Ruby's expression changed from hurt to an emotionless mask. "Get out." She said quietly.

"Ruby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"GET OUT!" She yelled, hefting her weapon and cocking it back, pointing the massive sniper at Jaune, a single tear streaming down her silver eyes. Jaune looked at her with regret, then headed out of the house in shame.

* * *

Where did Jaune's life get so messed up? He would have said it was when he and Ruby went to Yang's party, but that was a lie. He had long since come to realise that it had started when he first enrolled in beacon.

 _It's nine o'clock on a Saturday_

 _The regular crowd shuffles in_

 _There's an old man sitting next to me_

 _Makin' love to his tonic and gin_

Here he was, sitting at some bar, with some old song he recognized that his old man played all the time when he was younger, echoing through the nearly empty tavern. Truth be told, he was not one for drinking. Hell, that's what got him into this mess. But right now, he needed to do something to keep the guilt from suffocating him. Ren and Nora were nice enough to lend him their couch to sleep on, no questions asked. He would have tried Pyrrha, but he felt that spending the night at separate single woman's house would seal his already closing grave. Jaune had tried desperately to sleep that night, but just couldn't. Everytime he got close to sleep, his own guilt personified in the image of Ruby's angry face in tears, would just come haunting to him. So he decided to drink them away. Might as well make things come full circle. So he left a note on his teammates counter and headed for the closest bar in Remnant.

 _He says, "Son, can you play me a memory_

 _I'm not really sure how it goes_

 _But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete_

 _When I wore a younger man's clothes."_

"Hey kid."

Jaune turned around to see Qrow walking up behind him. Oh great, bet he was here to kill him, just like everyone else had been trying the past freaking months. "Go away Qrow" Jaune bitterly said

"I would ask what brings you here, but I heard from Yang and Tai what happened with you and my youngest niece. Sorry about that kid." The older man sat, sitting next to the blonde knight.

"No, I had it coming. This whole problem has been my fault. Instead of going and helping Ruby like a normal person, I run away rather than try and settle down. I kept this whole job a secret from her, despite knowing that she would hate me for it!" he exclaimed, leaning against the bar "Everything I've done, has been a mistake."

"Nope."

Jaune looked up at the old bird "What?"

"You heard me. Nope" Qrow said simply. "Who was it that told you to keep it from Ruby? It was me and Oz. True, you didn't disagree, but what else would you have done. You're young kid, you can keep making mistakes, because you still have time to fix them."

 _Now John at the bar is a friend of mine_

 _He gets me my drinks for free_

 _And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke_

 _But there's someplace that he'd rather be_

Qrow took a sip from his glass and placed at the bar, letting out a sigh. "Kid, let me tell you a story. Once, there was a group of friends, a immature brother named Misfortune and his bossy sister Corvus, a headfirst blonde warrior named Burn, and kind shy girl who we shall name Été. Now as time went by, these people, these friends, begin to grow close to one another. Soon, the friends found themselves feeling closer to one another. Burn began to fall for the sister, and the brother found himself in love with the shy Été. Now, slowly, it seemed like it was destiny for the team to find love within itself, that all was gonna be happily ever after. But one day, Corvus caused discord in the group, and left, her brother hurt with regret and retreated inward and started looking for sympathy in a bottle, blinded by his own pain, rather than help his mourning teammates.

 _He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."_

 _As the smile ran away from his face_

 _"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star_

 _If I could get out of this place"_

Now, overtime, Misfortune begin to guilt himself. Maybe he was responsible caused his group to split. But while he was wallowing in his own self pity, Été moved on, and started a family with the blonde, bringing a semblance of light that Corvus left. Misfortune kept his distance as the warrior and his love begin to form a family, too afraid to act in fear of ruining Été's happiness. However, tragedy struck, and during a simple mission, cold uncaring people took her life."

 _Now Paul is a real estate novelist_

 _Who never had time for a wife_

 _And he's talkin' with Davy, who's still in the Navy_

 _And probably will be for life_

 _And the waitress is practicing politics_

 _As the businessmen slowly get stoned_

 _Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness_

 _But it's better than drinkin' alone_

Jaune looked at Qrow with confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Qrow look at his glass as it ran his finger along the brim "What I'm trying to say kid, is don't waste what time you have in this life, 'pecially with the career we have" He sighed "I-Misfortune spent most his life pondering the what-ifs, the could-have-beens and missed his chance. Don't make the same mistake. If I know my niece, and I do, she's hurting, but deep down she knows you care. So go, tell her you're sorry, and fix this mess Jaune."

Jaune looked at the older man who seemed to be reminiscing. Qrow was right. Here he was trying to drink his sorrows and shame away when Ruby was hurt. "Thank you Qrow." Jaune said as he got up and laid a twenty on the counter. However, before Jaune made it out the door, he realized something.  
"Hey!" He called out "You finally got my name right!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jolene." Qrow chuckled as Jaune let out a slight groan, and got up, his resolve clear

"Thank you Qrow. I needed to hear that." Jaune said sincerely to the older man "I'll make it right."

The drunken man merely shrugged "Eh, I did nothing kid. Just go." Without wasting anymore time, Jaune ran out of the tavern.

The Arc gone from the bar, Qrow looked up and raised his glass "Here's to you Summer. You would have liked the kid, looks kinda like Tai, but none of the charisma. Yet he still managed to romance your little gem." he chuckled to himself.

* * *

Jaune started running down the path to the house, checking himself over.

Bouquet of red roses? Check

Smell? Eh, deodorant was close enough

Apology prepared and braced for whatever might death threats Yang and Tai would probably throw at him for making Ruby cry? His body was ready.

Getting off the Bullhead, Jaune prepared to head towards the Cabin when he noticed something off. The air seemed to smell of like someone was grilling...or a fire. Looking around, Jaune looked for any tell tale signs of fire.

Sure enough, in the horizon, there was a pillar of black smoke climbing...from the direction the cabin was...

Dropping everything, Jaune sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him. "No. No. No. No." he repeated, a futile attempt to reassure himself, till he made it to the clearing of the cabin.

There, the house the two had been putting the finishing touches on, had been brought to a decrepit state, the windows broke, the place charred over, and some walls where even shattered. However, the house was no concern to Jaune.

"RUBY!" He called out, running into the house, his legs carrying him on a will of their own.

Jaune scanned inside, finding a familiar mane of blonde hair huddled in what was the living room.

"Yang! Where's Ruby!?"

Yang refused to look Jaune in the eye. She was beaten, bloody, and bruised, and had her head cast down in shame "Jaune...I'm sorry" she sobbed quietly, holding a familiar piece of crimson cloth to Jaune

The man looked at her with panic "Where's Ruby?" he asked again, fear and dread clawing at his chest

"They took her. They took Ruby"

* * *

 **Omake: Internship (And I need to shut my goddamn mouth)**

Glynda stood in the peculiar office of the headmaster of Beacon with a scowl. "Ozpin, I've came to tell you the results of your internship idea for hunters and huntress who wish to teach. All of team RWBY and JNPR applied to this, but had… varying results."

Ozpin looked up from his scroll and closed his browser page (Glynda would have a cow if she saw the price of the coffee he was about to purchase) and looked to his co worker.  
"How so Glynda?" Ozpin asked "I thought it was a good idea to send them over to Single to help out and learn some things about teaching."

"That's just the thing…" Glynda said, rubbing her temples "I'll start off with team RWBY. Ms. Rose did give a great job on education the young students on the importance of their weapons, but…

* * *

"And that's why weapons are the best! And anyone who tells me otherwise, can argue with the end of the barrel!" Ruby finished her 30 minute speech, that included a 57 slide powerpoint, examples from her team on good weapons and an example from Jaune why classics are still useful, and then followed up by an entire song and dance number called "It's also a Gun" dedicated to weapons.

One of the students in the back rolled his eye "Yeah, like we needed all that over something that we use to stab and shoot things with. Big whoop"

The boy sitting next to him, a tall pale kid chastised him "Max, quite! I found Ms. Rose's talk on the mechanisms of the collapsible blades and how to add more firepower per shot by increasing the-"

"Boring!" Comment the energetic bluenette girl sitting with them "Though the presentation was nice, could have gone without musical bit. Now when do we get to stab something!?"

Ruby looked at the three in disappointment.

* * *

Ozpin sipped from his mug as Glynda finished her tale. "I still don't understand why you're skeptic. Both the students and Ms. Rose learned a lot that day."  
Glynda groaned "I can't bring myself to even argue with you. So our next point, Ms Schnee. While the teachers at the school, the students referred to here, without the profanity, as an uptight pain in the rear who ruled the class with an iron fist. Student reports say they were 5 minutes away from leading an uprising against her quote unquote, tyra-schnee"

Ozpin frowned "I can see your concern with that, but Ms Schnee's behavior has improved greatly over her years at Beacon, so in time, she might ready in a couple years"

Glynda begrudgingly agreed "And then there was Ms. Belladonna. She just read her adult literature the entire time and said the kids to read from their textbooks. While I can respect that she wants to read some of the finer literature in life-"

"You mean the same smut you read when you think no one's watching" Ozpin interrupted, catching Glynda completely off guard.

"I have never read Ninjas of Love!" Glynda defended herself, blushing deeply.

Ozpin let a small smirk grace his face. "I never said any specific title."

"As I was saying" Glynda said, quickly changing the subject back to the matters at hand "Ms Belladonna, while she didn't go as far as her other teammates in her methods, she did lack interaction with the students. However, all the past transgressions are small compared to that of Ms. Xai Long"

Ozpin groaned as he rubbed his temples "Jesus, what am I gonna have to tell Tia why his eldest did this time?"

"Well…"

* * *

Max was pissed. The past 3 Beacon kids trying out teaching were horrible. The first one was to fucking peppy and energetic that reminded him of David if he had a thing for weapons instead of camping, one was a freaking dictator that only Dolph seemed to like, and the weird cat lady made them read from the fucking textbook while not giving a shit and reading her porn.

"Hey Max, any idea what's our last teacher gonna be like?" Neil asked him nervously.

"Yeah! Think they can shoot lasers out of their eyes?! Or Maybe have flames come out of their bodies!" Nikki chattered, full of excitement "Oooh, maybe she'll let us go outside, and try hunting some grimm!"

Max rolled his eyes "Please, she'll probably be uptight and care even less about us then the last than the last one."

Suddenly, a blonde blur crashed through the window, landing in the front of the class.

"Alright let me hear it, WHO'S UP FOR AN ORGY!?" Yang Xaio Long yelled to the class full of 16 and 17 year olds.

* * *

"...Then according to Ms Xiao Long's report, they did wear protection." Glynda finished.  
Ozpin shrugged at this "Well, at least we won't have a repeat of-"

"She meant that they had their armor and weapons"

"It appears there is little to stop the libido of a Xaio Long. Must I remind you of Tai.

Entire.

Team."

Glynda rolled her eyes "Sir, we still haven't got any proof that he and Qrow-"

* * *

Suddenly a black bird went flying into the Lone Wanderer's office, and started viciously pecking at his head.

Lone turned towards Meep, seemingly unfazed by the angry avian "Hey, Meep, how did this bird get into the building?"

"Eh, probably the front door, or maybe someone opened a portal and let it in, but it was most likely BECAUSE SOMEONE KEEPS BREAKING ALL THE WINDOWS!" The frustrated editor yelled.

The Lone Wanderer just shrugged "No regrets."

"Aren't you bothered by the angry crow attacking your skull or the sharp talons?"

"Please, I drink a gallon milk a day. My skull and bones are basically made of steel and the skin above it is very durable as well." Upon saying this the bird proceeds to switch tactics from pecking at Lone's skull to trying to peck out his eyes, with to much greater success than before.

"GAH!" Lone yowled out in pain, beginning to viciously swat at the bird, failing to realize that in his struggle, he was bordering near the window.  
"Quick, get my chainsaw hand! NOW, DO IT NOW! JUST...DO IT!" He cried out, swatting at the bird with his detached hand but to no avail.

Meep shrugged and went over to the glass box with the sign above labeled _break whenever you feel like it,_ and broke the glass, and lazily tossing the weaponized prosthetic at Lone.

Sure enough, his aim was off, hit the courier right in the head, causing him to lose his balance and fall out the window, the bird doing a weird cough that almost sounded like it was laughing, then made a beeline for Lone's not-so-secret secret booze cabinet, but not before throwing a knowing look towards Meep.

"What? I totally didn't miss that on purpose and you know it. Even if it was, you have no way of proving that it was. Although it's too bad that window is only on the second floor and not on like the three hundredth floor. I mean it's not that I want him dead; no he can't write while dead, but if he became injured to the point that he can't use his legs, then he would have a lot more trouble jumping out of windows now wouldn't he? Our group could save thousands of imaginary dollars in glass alone."

Lone's voice rang up from outside "Thank god I paid part of Meep's salary to have this haystack moved here!"

"Wait, is that how you've been doing this? And I have a salary!? AND YOU'RE USING IT!?"


	21. April Fools: Never Gonna Give You Up

**9 Months to Live**

 **Chapter 19-ish:** **Never Gonna Give You Up.**

 **Disclaimer:*Bursts into the room containing the rights to RWBY* SOME BODY ONCE-  
I don't own RWBY... at least not till my evil scheme comes into play**

 **AN: *Straight face* I solemnly swear I am up to no good.**

 **Mwa.  
Ha.  
Ha.**

* * *

Cinder stood above the fallen form of the so called champion. The girl, Pyrrha, had fought well, but nothing could stop the absolute power of a maiden's, not even the headmaster as even he fell to her might...at least she think she he did. It was kinda dark in the basement. But that was not the matter. She had brought Beacon's last defender down to her knees.

"Tell me," She said slowly to the injured girl "Do you believe in destiny?"  
"Nah, I don't really believe Steffany, as I do not know her."

Both Cinder and Pyrrha turned to see a rather...interesting man-child wearing solid blue, with a dumb blank smile plastered on his face.

"And who," Cinder asked, preparing to strike at any moment at this newcomer "Might you be?"

"My name is Michael J. Caboose, Mean Fire Lady." He said happily, seemingly completely unaware of the current situation or the burning hellscape behind them. Cinder looked at the idiot in anger "mean fire lady...DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? WHAT I'VE DONE? WHAT POWER I POSSE-".

"Hey, Magnetic Lady, are you okay?" Caboose casually asked Pyrrha, who had been slowly limping to get a back shot on Cinder, who noticed noticed her thanks to Caboose.

Pyrrha gritted her teeth "Just...fine." She said, trying to look unsuspecting in front of the terrorist

"Okay!" He said, completely oblivious to the arrow sticking out of her ankle. "But if you were hurt, I know what might help! When I got shot in the toe one time, the nice weird purple man rubbed aloe vera on my back and I felt better."

Pyrrha sweated nervously, fear of her ankle rising "What happened to the toe?"

"Oh, it's gone." Caboose smiled as Pyrrha paled, her leg in mind "Rest in peace, big toe."

Cinder coughed awkwardly "Well, this is nice and all, but we were kinda in the middle of something"

"Oh boy, could I join?!" Caboose cheerfully said.

Pyrrha shook her head frantically "No! You don't want to do that-"

Cinder gave an evil smile. "Yes, I would be delighted to have you join us…"

* * *

Salem stood on the balcony of her doom fortress. She'd been debating whether or not getting chandelier made of human orphan skulls would be a bit much for the meeting room. On one hand, the chandelier would really bring the room together, and go great with the freshly orphaned baby faunus hair curtains, but then again, the whole darkness thing was a good aspect of the room, and quite frankly she enjoyed never having to see Tyrian's rape face. But the darkness did make reading Watt's reports very hard. Ah, the difficult decisions of an evil...whatever title she felt like hellbent on conquering the world.

"My Queen…"

"Ah, Cinder. How nice to hear your voice!" Salem said turning to see her youngest servant. "Tell me, did you succeed at Beacon?"

Cinder's eye visibly twitched. "The Invasion, for the most part, went fine-"

"Excellent! Now do you have the maiden's power?"

"Yes, but-"  
"But what?" Salem snapped at her

"Butts are for sitting. That's what they're for!"

Salem blinked then looked to see a stranger in blue hunter armor standing near a fallen one of her orb grimm.

"Not my fault. Tucker did it." Caboose said.

Cinder looked about ready to kill someone… more so than usual "This….imbecile has been following me in since Beacon, insisting that he's my best friend. I've tried everything! I've tried killing him, tried shipping him to Atlas, even leaving him with someone else! HE JUST KEEPS FINDING ME!"

Salem looked skeptic "It can't be that bad, Cinder. Surely this is just your incompetence."

 **24 hours later.**

Taiyang was having a good day. His kids where safe from the attack on Beacon, the day was saved, and best of all, he felt no longer 2 dimensional for some reason. Now, he was back to teaching the kids to one day go to Beacon, were they would become hunters.

 **Knock Knock**

"Wonder what that could be?" Tai thought to himself as he went to open the door to his office.

There, sitting at his front door, was a male covered in blue armor, tied up with a letter that said **_Do not return to Cinder (AN: Whahahaha)_**

"What the-"

"CHURCH! MY BEST FRIEND!"

* * *

"Goodbye, my beloved." Adam smirked at Blake's fallen form, ready to give her a reminder of what fear is.

"Oooh, gonna stab your sword right into her, Bow Chicka Bow Wow!"

"YOU MONS-hey that's actually pretty good!"

Blake looked up to see a young hunter in training from Signal wearing aquamarine clothing standing in the corner of the ruins, Yang on the opposite side. They couldn't be here, did they not know what Adam was capable of?

"Nice sword" Tucker commented to the terrorist "But I bet mine is bigger" he said, flicking out a strange device as a glowing sword lit up the room.

Adam growled. This...fool, was mocking him! He would not stand for this! He-

Just got his sword cut in half. By the fucking pervert.

"Don't worry, poor performance happens to everyone from time to time!" Tucker said

Yang was laughing up a storm. This was priceless.

Adam went for a punch at Yang but the ceiling collapsed upon him, revealing Sun upon the roof "Here I am to save the day!" He cried out, his weapons at the ready, but looked to see Yang laughing nonstop, a guy in aquamarine, and Blake on the ground with the expression of WTF.

"What? Did I miss something? Come on guys, give me a hand here!"

* * *

Lopez was pissed. He had went to see the tournament in hopes that maybe he could find someone to talk to, but nooooo. That red headed chick with magnetic powers had to go overboard, and now here he was, stuck as just a head...again. They considered putting the girl against Penny, but General Ironwood of Atlas claimed she had…. Medical issues. So sure enough,his creator, the gym coach from Beacon, put him in as her replacement.

Sure enough, the blasted magnet girl won. Gee, let's send the robot made of metal to fight someone who's special power is to control metal! Who was running this tournament?

* * *

Ozpin took a long sip of his coffee. Truth be told, he kinda slipped off during his fight with Cinder for a coffee break. He was sure everyone was fine. It was not like Ms Nikos would try to fight single handedly someone who absorbed a maiden's power and held her own against a headmaster. He had Glynda teach common sense to his students…. At least he thought he ordered her to. For the most part.

The Headmaster let out a sigh. At least he didn't die. Now if only he could find his cane…

 **AN: Yeah, in case you didn't guess, APRIL FOOLS! The real chapter will be here sometime within the next two weeks. Sorry about the extra wait, as my laptop had recently broke during travels.**


	22. Chapter 19 The Chain

**9 Months to Live**

 **Chapter 19;The Chain**

 **Disclaimer: I shall now use my ancient knowledge of the dankest memes to get the rights for RWBY!  
and it failed almost instantly...again. Rooster Teeth owns RWBY.**

 **AN: WHAT'S UP BITCHES! Still regret nothing from the April fools joke.  
** **Meep: The Orion nuclear orbital battleship isn't; I can tell you that.  
** **LW: Can it you. Now, for a shameless plug in. Go follow me at the RWBY amino app for updates regularly from me, art by me, and bonus omakes, theories, and of course, memes. My name is exactly the same Also, I've gotten several PMs over offers to beta RWBY crossover fics. Now I'm more then down to help, but I'm most of the time completely unfamiliar with the crossover, and can't really do it to the best of my abilities. It's not personal, I'm just busy with my own works and I would be no help with a subject I have no pry knowledge of.  
** **Now one thing I've noticed is that some reviewers have pointed out that I've fallen into the RWBY writing trap that is making Jaune the hero of Remnant and nearly losing the importance of Ruby's pregnancy. I will admit, I haven't been the best with writing Ruby at points, but I do intend to have that change, and as for Jaune, he's** _ **A**_ **hero of Remnant, along with the rest of his class now. If you paid attention last chapter, the other characters are taking action as we found out. Jaune's merely doing the job Ozpin gave him because it's suits him well, as he's doing good and making money for him and Ruby. But thanks for pointing this out. I'm never one to turn down negative criticism, it's how one gets better by having someone point out your flaws, so you can work with them.  
** **Another common thing is a separation of people who read this, mainly over my earlier chapters, where I will flat out admit are not my best. Pregnancy and Humor, aging the characters, Yang out of control, and Jaune's pain being the butt of nearly all my jokes? I've liked to think I've grown as a writer over time and this, and the longer updates are to make sure each chapter is more polished. Those came out a week at a time. Nice in theory but horrible in execution, and speaking of release dates...  
** " **Could you have release dates for the next chapter?" No. One reason and one reason alone. I fucking suck at making deadlines. I will always be late and cause the chapter to be rushed, so no on that. I will try to keep the chapters coming at about a month a time, but once again, I usually have no idea how long the chapter will be or how long it will take. NOW ONTO THE CHAPTER! *Jumps on a mountain lion made of lighting then flies out the window***

* * *

Jaune was feeling horrible. It had been 24 hours since he found the ruins of the house and what happened to Ruby, and since then, he had not slept, he had not eaten. His left fist held Ruby's cloak as if it was a lifeline, sitting on a stump overlooking the ruined cabin. However, only one thought rang through the hunter.

Your fault.

Imagine the shame, the guilt, of having to tell Tai that his youngest daughter was kidnapped, and where was he during this? In a bar, drinking because he and Ruby got into a fight that was his fault.

Yang had tried multiple times to shift the guilt on her, saying there was nothing he could have done, but to Jaune, that just cemented his guilt. If only...

The Blonde Brawler watched as Jaune stared blankly at the ruins from his stump, holding her sister's fallen cloak. Every bone in her body wanted to start searching for, but where could she start? She had no lead…

"Who where they?"

Yang blinked, thinking she imagined it, but Jaune spoke again, louder "Who…" He trembled "where they?"

"I recognised one of them. Part of Cinder's old gang." Yang said quietly "Mercury. And his partner could have been there, but her semblance is illusions, so I can't be sure. He bursted in through the door with I think about 30 well trained, and well armed mooks. I managed to take some of them out, but he was able to knock me out cold before I could finish charging up my semblance. Why he didn't just kill me then and there I don't know. He could've at anytime, but for some reason he didn't. Maybe he thought I was dead."

Jaune nodded, still with a nervous expression on his face "Thank you Yang. You did all you could. That's more than I can say for myself…" He said quietly, before his expression shifted into one of confusion. "Though I do agree it is wierd as to why he left you alive. He was trained by his father who was an assassin, from what I heard from Ozpin; It wouldn't be like him to not check your body to make sure you were dead. So why would he...?" Jaune finished, mumbling the last part

"Well we'll figure out the details of why later, but right now we need to save Ruby." Yang said

"Yeah, but how? She could be anywhere right now." Jaune replied nervously

"We'll think of something, but we won't be able to do it alone. We'll need help"

"Yeah you're right we won't be able to do it alone. I'll contact Ozpin and my family you do what you feel is necessary." Jaune responded before pausing "hold on, Yang, how is it that you are so calm right now? I would have thought you would be hysterical right now."

Flinching at his question Yang's mask of grim determination slips a little, showing fear and grief briefly before being put back into place. "I'm not actually calm, right now. I'm merely suppressing my grief right now. You may not remember me mentioning it, but when Summer died on a mission, it hit our family hard. I ended up practically having to raise Ruby by myself. Dad was catatonic so he wasn't much help, the only person I had to help support me was Uncle Qrow and he wasn't always around, nor really the best help, as he was sent out on missions very often. So I had to learn to put on a brave face and to suppress my own emotions and grief, in order to support both Ruby and Dad. Eventually things got better, Dad recovered from his grief and tried to help me by supporting me. It wasn't until at least a year later that I finally let myself lean on him as an emotional rock, but even then I limited how much I leaned on him. I guess the skill never really left me. The only thing we can do is move onward."

Jaune nodded. She was right. "Thank you Yang. I needed to hear that. Do you need help walking?" He asked, extending a hand to the fellow blonde.

"Yeah, yeah, I can take care of myself, vomit boy. Don't forget that I'm the one who was hunting you down not even four months ago. Now get moving we don't have all day" Yang joked, managing to get a small smile off the Arc.

"Well, are first course of action would be getting a party together to find her. You contact your team and get your dad and Uncle, I'll get team JNPR and my family."

Yang nodded at Jaune's idea. "I'll start calling. Where do you want them to meet at?"

Jaune paused and thought for a moment. "Tai's cabin. That would be the best place."

And with Yang walked off, and begin to start contacting her team, leaving Jaune overlooking the ruins.

"I'll find you Ruby." Jaune said as he gripped her cloak "I give you my word."

* * *

Blake was tired. She was so happy meeting her parents again after so long, and they were so welcoming to her. Now towards Sun, on the other hand… well, she honestly wouldn't know who would kill him first. Her, or her dad, because dear god he was getting on both their nerves.

Ozpin came to her and Sun during her last week at Beacon, giving both of them an offer. He wished for them to help lead the White Fang back into its old ways, and hoped if they succeeded to strengthen the trust between huntsmen and faunus. Blake had been hesitant, her fear of confronting Adam was strong. The man she was knew had grown cold and ruthless, and while his power from the Cinder days had long since fallen, his brutal methods grown in place.

But the grey haired professor convinced her otherwise, and Sun was allows on board for adventure. However, what shocked her was that Ozpin wanted her to be closed mouth about this to both their teams. Blake seemed shocked at this, as Sun was horrible at keeping secrets and she had grown to trust her team with her life. To keep something like this from them, especially during a time where Ruby was with child? The last time she kept something huge to herself it nearly ruined the team.

But Ozpin soothed her fears, claiming that everyone else was busy with their new freedom as huntsmen and huntresses. Weiss was slowly bringing her family's company back to honest standards, despite her bastard of a father's demands, and Yang was helping Jaune take care of Ruby.

So she accepted.

"Hey Blake! Look at these baby pictures of you your mom just showed me!" Sun chirped from behind her.

Blake growled under her breath. She was gonna snap. Sun was quick to forget the real reason they came her, and was treating this like a vacation. God, she didn't know who was worse, Sun or Yang? She quickly shuddered at the thought, and made note never to leave the two alone in the same room. "Sun for the last time, we're here to- I THOUGHT I TOLD HER TO BURN THOSE!" She yelled, as the blonde monkey faunus held up a rather...embarrassing picture of a 5 year old Blake playing with a ball of yarn.

However, before Blake could grab the picture, Blake's scroll rang, Yang's contact picture appearing on the screen.

Blake picked up the scroll and answered, and listening, her face slowly changing, becoming full of guilt, fear, and sorrow. Her head hung down, she hung up, and refused to look Sun in the eye, and started walking out of the room.

"Wait, what was that about? Where are you going?" Sun called out to her, running up.

"Back to Vale." She said, walking off.

Sun looked in confusion "What, why?"

Blake looked Sun right in the eye "Ruby's been kidnapped." she said quietly, then ran off, Sun following her, not saying another word.

* * *

Weiss was about ready to strangle the large portion of scumbags she called family. Her brother and father were being, to be crude here, a major pain in her ass. Ever since she got out of Beacon, she had been trying to gain control of the SDC in hopes of starting the long process of bringing the company back into the light, but her father and her puppet of a younger brother had been fighting to the bitter end. Her father had been playing dirty at every turn, trying to destroy her reputation, her work, and any dirt she had on him.

Her only silence had been her sister. Winter had been supporting her all the way, and a high ranking and well respected military officer does good for publicity. Now if only she could convince the board that she was ready for the role of CEO.

Weiss let out a groan as she entered her sister's modest flat. She refused to live in the same room as that man until he got it through his thick mustache that what he was doing was bad for both the company and the family. Kicking off her boots, the Schnee heiress begin to wish that only all situations could be as simple as stabby a grimm till it dies. How was her team doing?

Well, Ruby and the dol-Jaune, she corrected herself, where probably having an easy time and preparing for their children, something that still felt weird for Weiss to say, with Yang giving them grief, and the stoic faunus was visiting her parents in Menagerie with Neptune's eccentric leader.

Maybe she should give them a call.

However, her own thoughts were cut off as her scroll buzzed.

"I swear, if it's Whitley again to mock me, I'm gonna take Myrtenaster and shove right up his-oh!" She said, pleasantly suprised to see Yang's contact picture on the screen. Picking it up, Weiss pressed the accept call button.

Winter entered her home sighing. She was glad at least she wasn't her sister. She left her role as heiress to pursue her military career, refusing to be her father's puppet, a role her younger brother seemed so eager to fill. However, she was not expecting to see her little sister dressed in her combat skirt and brandishing her weapon, bags packed and ready to hunt

"What's this, dear sister?" She questioned

Weiss continued checking her supplies "Something came up. I'll be gone."

Winter furrowed her brow "For how long? You can't just get up and leave like this because of some petty whim for adventure! We need you to show that you're a responsible figure for the company, dear sister" She chastised her sister, but was cut off.

"My Beacon team leader, who mind you who helped me get to the person I am today and is pregnant with twins, has been kidnapped with the help of a high leveled former terrorist, one that was present and associated with the attack on Beacon my freshman year during the Vytal festival. This is no petty whim, sister. If my disgrace of a father and brother ask where I am, tell them I'm doing my job. Please keep the Atlas military at the ready. We might need your help later." Weiss snapped as she finished up her bags, and left the room, leaving her sister.

* * *

Ren was having an...interesting time with Nora.

The months after graduation had been an interesting experience for the stoic hunter. Living with Nora, was...well.

Their food bill was 67% pancake batter, they managed to go through 3 beds this month alone (One Nora threw out a window, the others…) and Ren was pretty sure the walls were being held together with spackle and sloth posters. However, the most interesting thing happened when they're Beacon leader appeared at their front door last night, covered in bruises, limping, and looking like someone brutally took a sledgehammer to his puppy's skull in front of him, asking for a place to crash for the night.

He thankfully managed to convince Nora to give their leader some privacy, and sure enough he was gone the next morning. Ren and Nora both loved Jaune like a brother, and respected him enough to clean up his problems with Ruby as they guessed, though Ren still secretly hoped that he'd at least make it on the list for potential godfathers.

"OH, RENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYY!"

So much for a peaceful morning tea. But his life would be too quiet without her.

"Yes Nora?" Ren asked in an inside voice.

"We got a call from our fearless leader! Maybe we can find out the scoop on Rose Knight!"

Ren looked at her scowling "We did not agree on that name. I thought we agreed on Lancaster."

"But that doesn't make any sence! Rose Knight makes soooooo much more!"

"Nora, Lancaster is the name of th-"

"Too late, answering the call!" She said, answering the scroll and shoving it at Ren who picked it up begrudgingly.

Nora looked as Ren gave uh huhs and nods, his expression darkening with each minute on the phone. Was something wrong?

Ren finally hung up the scroll and sighed "Get your gear Nora. I'll fill you in on the way there. We have a friend to save."

* * *

Pyrrha was feeling lonely. She missed her team, she missed Beacon, she missed the antics, and she missed...Jaune.

As much as she wished for Ruby to be happy with Jaune, she couldn't help but feel envy towards the girl. She considered her a good friend, but she had been crushing hard on Jaune since her freshmen year, and when she confessed, he kindly shot her down. They both decided it would be to awkward and might interfere with Jaune's leadership if they were in a relationship, and decided on settling with friendship.

However, it was times like this she felt lonely. Here she was, back on her pedestal, away from everyone else. She was no longer Pyrrha, the Beacon student, but back to Pyrrha Nikos, the champion. She'd been doing missions left and right, deciding to just stay out of Jaune and Ruby's way and let them raise their children.

It was better that way.

However, her thoughts were cut off as her scroll buzzed, catching her attention. Pyrrha looked over to see the knight's profile picture on her scroll. Quickly, she answered the the call, greedily looking forward to a conversation with Jaune.

"Hello, Jaune" She said cheerfully. However, that happiness faded from her face as the phone call went on longer, a tear falling down Pyrrha's eyes.

Hanging up the scroll, Pyrrha pulled up tickets to Patch, buying the first flight as soon as possible.

She needed to help her friends.

* * *

The Arc household was a fairly large estate. However, years of being held in the Arc family for years have let it fade from it's original glory of a grand castle nearly on par with the academy's into a much more humbler home, a 3 story house with bits an nbd pieces of mismatched repair jobs, plywood covering up bits of the roof, duct tape covering up broken windows, all from an Arc father too proud and cheap to call an actual carpenter for repairs

" _I have 8 wonderful hardworking children! Why would I need to pay some fool to do a job an Arc could do just fine!"_ Where the exact words of John Arc, much to his rightfully skeptical wife.

Soleil Arc was having an okay day all together. Was she still silently fuming over her youngest getting getting caught up in...adult business, and becoming a parent? Yes!  
For Oum's sake, she hardly knew the girl who messed with her little boy! But she did intend to fix that… 7 sisters and a mother bear would be just the test...Maybe have John and Jaune go on a fishing trip with Mr. Xiao Long.  
It was times likes these she felt her age coming on her. Jaune was growing up, and she had to accept that. Her boy, the one she tried so hard to shelter, was now strong enough to stand on his own. Plus, grandkids! It seemed like yesterday she was telling a young Jaune scary tales of his father's baldness being heirdarty. Now, he was asking how to paint a wall without ruining a ceiling for the cabin they gave the two. Soleil let out a sigh. She was getting too old to worry like this.

"What are you up to, dear?" John boomed as he entered the living room, propping himself down in his arm chair, body sweating from a day of yardwork.

Soliel chuckled as she contueied her needlework "Working on a little gift for our future grandchildren." She said, working on two pieces of soft fabric, one a deep crimson with gold trims, the other blue laced with black. "How about you, dear husband? Have you gotten the gift we intended to give Jaune at his graduation ready?"

The large man blushed behind his blonde mustache "It's done now!"

"I told you to just take it to a blacksmith the first time, they'd get it done right the first time, but noooo, you just had to try and fix it yourself." Soliel chastised her husband.

"Well, it's done now, my dear!" John grinned to his wife as she rolled her eyes

"Only because I finally got it through you to go sent it to someone who knows what they're doing!"

 _ **Knock Knock Knock**_

John and Soliel got up, hearing someone at their door.

"John, who's that?" She asked.

The Arc merely shrugged "I do not know. Let's go find out. It is rude after all to leave someone standing outside."

The couple went for and opened the door. There, bearing a grim expression and a rather familiar crimson cloak held in a death grip, was their only son.

"Mom, Dad, I need your help. The whole family's help, actually. Something terrible has happened and you might want to sit down for this." Jaune said quietly as he stood in the doorway.

* * *

Tai and Qrow sat in Tai's kitchen, patiently waiting for the motley crew Yang and the Arc boy where putting together.

"How you holding, Tai?" The surprisingly sober Qrow asked his teammate.

"Gee, my youngest daughter, the only thing we really have left of Summer, who is pregnant with twins, just got kidnapped?! How do you think I am?!" Tai snapped at the man. He was under a lot of stress, and felt like he failed Summer in every way. How could he let this happen?

Qrow looked at Tai, sympathy in his blood wine eyes. "Easy, Tai. We'll get her back. Just have faith in the next generation."  
"How can you be so optimistic?" Tai growled.

"Because it's what Ruby would have wanted us to do." Qrow snapped, silencing the brawler.  
After 10 minutes of tense silence, the first group arrived, Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie.

"Hello, Mr Xiao Long, Mr Branwen" Ren said, bowing to the men.

Nora, needless to say, was far less formal. "Hello Ruby and Yang's Uncle and Dad!"  
Tai took a long sigh "You two are the first ones here. Sit down at the kitchen with Yang and try not to break anything. And thank you, for this. You didn't have to."

Both shook their heads, and went into the kitchen.

The next to show was Weiss Schnee, Ruby's partner at Beacon. She came carrying suitcases full of dust, all high quality and enough by the looks of it to supply a small army. Good. They needed it.

Soon to follow was Blake, with the monkey faunus that always seemed to be around Beacon despite attending a different school altogether.

Blake gave Qrow and Tai a silent nod before going to sit with the rest. Soon, Pyrrha Nikos made her way to the cabin. She looked at Qrow with nervous eyes, memories of the Vytal festival from four years ago coming to mind. She was cautious that he was here. Not that she held anything against the man, but he seemed like bad luck… But it was because of him and several others that saved her from making a terrible decision. However, the champion went and sat down with the rest.

The table itself was now terribly tense. Several trained hunters put into a one table, all anxious and worried, problems are bound to happen.

Yang saw this throughout the table. Blake was being tight lipped about her trip, and even Sun was surprisingly. Pyrrha kept looking at her Uncle like he was about to do something horrible, Weiss looked stressed and more uptight that normal, and Nora was trying her best to contain herself.

Finally, however, the tension broke as the last group arrived, the entire Arc family, the 7 sisters, Soliel and John, and Jaune leading the pack.

Each one of the family looked like a force to be reckoned with. John Arc has has massive rocket javelin and heavy armor covering his large frame, the Lady Arc bearing light armor with

Vambraces and greaves made of leather with bits of metal plating covering it, and the 7 siblings each bore their own weapons.

Jaune himself, aside from his new clothes he got with Qrow, looked no different.

Jaune sat down at the table, the rest of his family standing behind him, as of this point there was no room left.

"Now, before we start, I'd like to thank each and everyone for coming here." Jaune spoke up. "As you know, Ruby Rose, currently pregnant with my children, was kidnapped, by former associates of the deceased terrorist Cinder Fall."

At this moment, everyone expect Qrow and the other veteran hunters bursted into shock and started arguing.

Jaune raised his voice once again, but it was lost over the large crowd. Yang, however caught action of this, and fired Ember Celica loudly into the air. The group quickly silenced as the loud shotgun blast echoed in the house.

Yang spoke up "Our goal is to get back Ruby, and stop any villainous plot." She gritted out "If you feel like bickering, then be my guest. The door is right there."

No one got up, and Jaune then continued. "Now, we need to find out why they would want to kidnap Ruby in the first place, and where to even start. The only thing I can think of is either the work I've been doing for Ozpin or her role in stopping Cinder, but both don't add up to anything."

Qrow let out a sigh and spoke up at the table. "I think know why they kidnapped my niece. Tell me, do any of you believe in legends?"

"As of recently, I've been opening up to idea." Jaune said from the back as the rest of the gang looked in confused, except for Tai who gave Qrow a concerned look "Are you sure about this Qrow?"

Qrow merely nodded to his old teammate. "I have a gut feeling that this had something to do with this."

Yang, as of most of the group, were confused, however. "What do bedtime stories have to do with my little sister getting kidnapped!?"

"Well, the best place to start, I guess, is with the legend of the Silver Eyed Warriors…"

* * *

Ruby woke up to a bright light glaring in her face.

"Hello Ms. Rose."

Ruby looked to see herself in a solid white room, fluorescent lights buzzing from the ceiling, a large screen towered on the wall in front of her displaying a large cloaked figure. Instincts kicking in, Ruby quickly went for her hip to pull out Crescent Rose, but found nothing.

"Looking for your scythe, Ms. Rose?" The man, as she determined by the sound of his voice, on the screen asked cynically. "Let me clarify any questions you might have. You are my prisoner now Ms. Rose. Any and all resistance will be punished.. You and Mr. Arc's unborn child are now mine as is your life, and shall be utilized for purposes I see fit without your input. Furthermore I suggest that you relax as such stress and sudden movements can be bad for your child, and the loss of your children would be a great disappointment. Such potential."

The girl looked at the figure in shock, but quickly adjusted. She would get out of here, one way or another. Good will always conquer evil. And like hell would she ever let her children fall into the hands of this monster.

* * *

 **Omake: Cards Against Humanity round 2 (Yeah, I got kinda lazy here)**

Twas a calm night at Beacon academy.

So Yang fixed that quickly.

"Alright, my peeps, who's up for a game of CARDS AGAINST REMNANT!"

Weiss looked horrified "That filthy game? I would ne-"

Blake shrugged "Eh, I'm in."

"Ooh! Count me in!" Ruby chirped

"Sweet." I'll go get the rest of the gang!"

Sure enough, half an hour later, teams JNPR, RWBY, and Sun and Neptune, and somehow Penny (?) sat at the table.

"Alright Jauney boy, you'll judge this round" Yang said throwing the black card across the table.

Jaune shrugged "Alright I don't see why-Really Yang?" he said as he saw the card.

The busty blonde brawler gave him a shit-eating grin. "Well, read it Lady Killer."

Jaune groaned. "How did I lose my virginity?"

Sure enough, after many silent giggles and not so subtle evil laughter, the cards were in.

Jaune cleared his throat "How'd I lose my virginity? Grave Robbing. Okay, I would never do it with a dead body. Plus, what if they're cremated?"

Suddenly, Pyrrha started coughing. "You okay, P-Money?" Yang asked

The redhead nodded "Yeah, just something came over me. Continue Jaune."

The Knight shrugged but continued "How'd I lose virginity? Revenge fucking. But the only one I would ever need to get revenge on is Card-OH GOD MY EYES!"

Everyone at the table burst into laughter, and also died a little on the inside from the mental image. Finally, with a plan to later bleach the his brain, the Arc read the next one. "How'd I lose my virginity? Teaching a robot to love."

Ruby burst into laughter as Penny hid under the table, leaving everyone confused.

"I don't get it." Jaune said. "But moving on! How'd I lose my virginity? Inces- Nope Nope. Nope, Nope. 101 Nopes. 50 shades of nope." He ranted, throwing the card into the trash pile, with Sun cringing "But an orgy between 7-"

"Say one more word, and I'll cut of both tails you keep in your pants." Jaune said, giving the monkey boy a death glare. "Now, before I murder Sun by choking him to death with his own tail, let's get on with it. How'd I lose my virginity? A salty surprise. No. How'd I lose my virginity? Throwing a virgin into a volcano? But wouldn't that mean I throw myself into a volcano? How'd I lose my virginity? Winking at old people….gross."

"Hey, some of the adults here are attractive" Sun commented "I mean, Professor Goodwitch, am I right?"

Everyone that went to Beacon at the table visibly cringed

Repressing dark thoughts, Jaune pressed on "How'd I lose my virginity? Two midgets shitting in a box...Interesting"

* * *

"Hey Neo, do you have a cousin or a twin?" Roman asked the mute ice cream themed possible psychopath.

Neo responded with shaking her head and casted a questioning look at Roman for asking her.  
"No reason." The mobster said nonchalantly

* * *

"How'd I lose my virginity? Atlas Dungeon Porn!" Jaune said as everyone turned to Weiss.

Weiss was fuming at this point "For the last time, my family DOES NOT HAVE A-"

* * *

"Ya know, how long has your family had this sex dungeon?" Qrow asked Winter

"For generations. The only one not to use it were my parents." The eldest Schnee "Now, front or back?"


	23. Chapter 20 We Didn't Start the Fire

**9 Months To Live**

 **Chapter 20: We Didn't Start The Fire.**

 **Disclaimer: For months, Lone plotted, getting together a team for the pinnacle of his criminal career (despite being wanted in several dimensions for reasons too long). Stealing the rights to RWBY. However, it failed almost immediately as it turns out chainsaw hands set off metal detectors. God damnit.  
Don't own the right to RWBY, but I might be Miles Luna's evil clone.**

 **AN: Several chapters earlier in a previous AN "I will never take the Volume 3 path of darkness and depression" Well, no one died...yet. Okay, yeah, this story has got a bit of a tone shift as most of you have commented on. One thing real quick though. FUCK FINALS. Now, I can promise this much, I will do my part and keep my humor present. I have this listed under humor for a reason, afterall! But, this will be getting more serious as more plot gets introduced and it will either end in depression or comedy. Did I complete 180 in the mood? I'd like to think I didn't. I did try to make the transition seem as natural as possible. Meep, anything to add?**

 **Meep: Yeah, I'd like to take the** **blame** **credit for the tone shift. I feel that Lone tends to have a … brighter… sense of humor than me. So I feel like I am partially responsible for the tone shift, but I assure you that I will try to help Lone write a positive ending. I expect the issue of Ruby's kidnapping to be resolved either in this chapter or the next.  
Lone: HA! You wish! Well, time for the usual gag. *Pulls out shotgun, shoots window, then hops out it, nailing that super hero landing.***

* * *

Ruby was currently impatient, frustrated, and terrified beyond belief. She hated every moment of this. She was a huntress, not some damsel in distress! One of her lowest moments was back in her first year back at Mount Glenn when she got captured and separated from her weapon. She was helpless, and she felt just as helpless now, and with the growing children in her womb, the stakes were higher than ever, as her rounded stomach begin to make itself present. Ruby had looked over her room a dozen times. The only thing it had was a bed, toilet, and a single, heavy metal door with a hole at the bottom of, that food would occasionally slide through.  
However, she couldn't help but wonder, why? What did this psychopath want with her and her children? What value did they hold?

She banged against the door in vain attempt, slamming her fists hard against the cold steel. Her entire body was feeling numb, but that was not Ruby's concern. She had to get out.

Finally, after what seemed forever, pounding at the door relentlessly, her fists having bruises and slight bleeding, a foot soldier opened the doors to her cell.

"Quite down prisoner or do I-" The man yelled but was cut off quickly.

Ruby saw her opportunity and acted quickly. Slamming her head with all her might against the guard's, she was greeted with a satisfying crack of his nose breaking, but a slight pain in her temple. But she could not let that concern her. Not with so much at stake.

"Mothahfuwer!" The guard swore as blood gushed from his nose, pain coursing through his face as he fell to ground.

However, the huntress did not waste any opportunity. Bolted ahead, she ran as fast as her legs could carry, not daring to activate her semblance in fear of her unborn children.

Wherever she was had a shockingly clean, sterile, but it was all a blur to Ruby as she sprinted down the hallways. She had to get out, had to find Jaune, Yang, her dad, her uncle, anyone!

Left, right, right, right, left, right, left, right. The place was massive, fluorescent lights lining each hall giving it a sterile cold vibe. Ruby panicked, as the pattering of footsteps was heard coming from the next turn, so she quickly took the turn in the opposite direction. Finally, she saw something different in the room desgin, as she was no longer in a hallway, a light shining from the outside from a door at the end of the hall.

Ruby nearly cried with relief. She was almost free! She bolted forward, running towards her exit. However, it slowly begin to fade, the entire room changing. Guards begin to appear, weapons aimed at her, and Emerald, one of the visiting students who had worked been working with Cinder, was there, standing next to her Warden.

"I gave you a warning Ms. Rose" The cloaked figure growled lowly. "And I do not take kindly to your pathetic attempts. There shall be punishments for your actions." And with that, the man disappeared, a sudden pain hitting Ruby's neck as she faded into unconsciousness.

Emerald looked at the fallen soon to be mother with a look almost of regret. "Sir, was it really necessary for us to set up this whole fake escape?" She asked

The Captain merely picked up the fallen huntress and handed her to his men to put back in her cell. "Yes, Emerald. It was necessary to crush her spirits now, rather than have them fester later. This way, we prevent any more breakouts."

Emerald nodded her head. It was a good idea, but still, the look the kid gave when Emerald stopped her semblance begin haunting her thoughts. Something about this wasn't right…

"Emerald," The Captain spoke up as he began to walk off "I'm gonna make a visit to an old friend. Do watch over our special guest and our investments don't wander off." And with this, the tall figure walked up, his large boots thudding against the sterile white tile.

Emerald let out a sigh. God, why did this have to be so...complicated? What was the saying, you never know the good ol' days until they're gone. The good ol' days where with Cinder, when she felt like she belonged to something fun. But now… it was almost like an unspoken line had been crossed in her mind. She would have to talk to Mercury about this. Asshole would probably be able to give some sort of input.

* * *

Ozpin gripped his cane tightly as the night breeze gusted across. It had not been hours ago since he was informed of Ms Rose's kidnapping. The professor hoped he showed up, he had to. He had overstepped the line and gone to far. Professor Ozpin was not one to take to violence, but when you kidnap one of his most passionate students when they're with child, hell shall hath no fury like his.

"Hello, old fool"

Ozpin turned around to see the cloaked figure known simply as the Captain walking towards him. The man was alone, just as he wanted.

Ozpin sighed "Take off the hood James. Let me look you in the eye."

The Captain lifted up his hood, to reveal the scarred face of James Ironwood, the general fallen from grace. "Ozpin, you wound me so." He said dryily.

"James, I shall give you this warning and this alone. Release Ms. Rose right now, and I shall let you live. Refuse to do so, and I will end you."

"No Ozpin. You wanna know why? Because you're weak. You could have done so, so much. But you don't. You never do. You don't have the guts to do the thing to end all the problems this world has. You stand by in your tower and hope that nothing happens, and when you do take action it's too late. My world won't have that Ozpin. Ms. Rose is a necessary casualty. With her and the Arc boy's children, I shall begin to raise an army to save the world from Grimm, from discrimination, from war!"

"First Ms Rose and her unborn children, then a few more lives, then the whole world! James, we do not have the right to do this! Our world is full of pain, discrimination, sorrow and hate, but getting rid of it won't make it better! You take down one, you create several more. We can only move forward if we learn how to face these! An army of perfect soldiers is not the answer the grimm, and it never was!"

"And you think hunters are gonna do anything against Salem, Ozpin! This has been going on for centuries, and the grimm are still here, still killing and ruining innocent lives. And to make matters worse, she's planning something. Her people are in motion Ozpin, and she does not wait, and neither do I, you old fool. I do what I must to ensure the safety of the world. I may not be known as a hero, but I would rather go down as a villain than stand by and let you do nothing as evil begins to consume Remnant."

"Do you not think I have tried that James?" Ozpin sighed, and in that one moment, the professor who usually looked rather ageless, seemed to be carrying the very burden of time itself. "I have made more mistakes in my life than you can possibly convince. So I beg you, as a friend, do not make the same mistakes I did. You can still undo this, James"

"No, Ozpin. You never understood that sacrifices needed to be made for progress. I will not back down because you can't stomach such potential being used. Goodbye, fool." Ironwood growled, walking away, leaving the headmaster by himself. Ozpin looked into the sky, looking at the shattered moon, reminiscing years. "James, you fool. You justify now but you will know just how heavy it weighs on the soul." The ancient professor leaned heavily on his cane, pain of the past more present than ever.

* * *

Jaune was currently outside, chopping firewood while thinking over what Qrow had told all of them. Apparently, Ruby was from a line of Silver Eyed warriors, people who could channel immense power with their eyes. After that reveal, everyone needed a moment to think

"Jaune."

The Knight looked up to see his parents standing in front of him with concerned looks on their faces.

"Hi Mom, hi Dad." Jaune said quietly.

"Look, son, we've known you've been having it rough, having your girlfriend kidnapped along with our unborn grandkids" John said to his only son "And the news we all heard might have changed a lot."

Jaune dropped the ax "Changed a lot?" He said "I just found out that the girl I love is now a target for power hungry monsters, and that my children might be targets too? How are we gonna live in a world where they are constantly hunted for some god damn power they MIGHT have? Why did no one tell me this earlier? Why did nobody tell HER earlier? She's all alone, kidnaped by god knows who, for a reason she doesn't even know! And I standing here, not doing a GODDAMN THING!" He yelled, his worries making themselves present.

Soliel looked her son dead in the eye, then slapped him in the face. "Don't talk to your mother like that. I raised you better than that." She said sternly.  
"Yes Mom" Jaune said, lowering his head in guilt. "It's just…"

"I know. I know." Soliel comforted her only son as John brought them into a massive bear hug.

Both of Soliel and John nodded at each other.

"Jaune, me and your father were gonna give you when you graduated before certain events happened" Soliel said as John went to his pickup, rummaging through the truck bed, till coming up with what looked like new armor. The armor itself was a different design, focuses on a scale like fashion for the breastplate, having different layers of the armor descending down in metal plates down to what would be his torso and covering his entire upper chest, the armor being a pale white with a tarnished gold-like trim. However, the new armor also seemed to come with pauldrons, something his current armor lacked, connected to the chest guard by a circular clasp. trim. Jaune also saw that that the rerebraces went some work, being black leather plates descending down from the pauldrons.

"We noticed that you seemed to have outgrown your current armor, and this way, we could still protect our boy even when we're not there. The armor belonged to your great grandfather, Jon De' Arc. We meant to give it to you by graduation, but your father wanted to fix it up himself, so we had to wait till he finally gave it to a real blacksmith." Soliel rambled on as her son continued to look at the armor.

"It's perfect, Mom. Thank you, both of you." Jaune said, unclipping his old chest guard. The old thing had been through thick and thin with him, and he'd be lying if he didn't miss it. But it had severed his purpose, and he couldn't let nostalgia blind him for the task ahead. Raising the steel plates up, the knight began to done the steel plates.

Jaune finished putting on the new armor. However, he felt it was missing something. Red fabric catching his eye, Jaune grabbed the cloak and fastened it around him, the crimson fabric billowing behind him. He would return it to her in person. "Let's find go Ruby." The Arc declared to his parents as he went back inside to rally his friends.

Yang was the first one to notice the change "Damn, Vomit Boy, sick new armor." She whistled lowly.

"I agree with Yang. I think your armor looks very good" Pyrrha nodded her head and agreement.

Jaune couldn't help but blush a bit at the attention.

"Shouldn't we be more concerned about finding Ruby rather than awing at the dolt-I mean Jaune's armor?" Weiss deadpanned, bringing the group back to focus.

"Thank you Weiss." The Knight said "Now, we know it was Mercury, one of Cinder's old crony, who aided in her capture. Now, we can deduce that it's not Cinder as she's been dead for years, nor Mercury acting alone on this. From what little info we do know is that he is or at least was an assassin. Bringing targets alive are not his primary skill. But here's where we hit the dead end. We have no idea who Mercury is working for that would want something with the Silver Eyes."

"I believe I might be able to shed some light on this"

The group turned to see Professor Ozpin walking in with Glynda following behind him, riding crop in hand.

"Professor Ozpin?" Jaune asked.

"Yes. And I am so, so, sorry. I have made a graze mistake." The headmaster sighed. "I know who is behind this scheme. Former General of the Atlesian Military, James Ironwood."

Everyone at the table reacted in shock, except for Qrow, who took a drink from his flask, muttering profanity under his breath.

Back after the fall of Cinder, after being discharged due to evidence of treason against the council. I knew Ironwood would never directly betray the council for the of Cinder. So I came to him with an offer. I needed someone I could trust to go undercover to help me with confirm suspiciousness Qrow had been voicing for his recon. Sure enough, Mr. Branwen was right. Much how there are hidden figures working in the shadows for good, there is a flip of the coin. Cinder was just one part of it. However, over time, reports between James became fewer and fewer until earlier this year they stopped all together. Turns out Ironwood looked at the evil brewing, and decided that I was ineffective. He's been building his own army, recruiting Cinder's old associates. I had my suspicions before, but until I confronted him tonight I didn't know. He crossed a line."

"You're damn right he did." Qrow growled "Why the hell did you hide something from this Oz!? Why would you trust him?! Was I not doing a good enough job at Recon?! This whole time I've been working my ass off, not even seeing what little family I still have for a job you have someone else doing? I want to know what the FUCK you were thinking Oz?!" The drunken man roared.

Tai put a hand on Qrow's shoulder "Calm down Qrow."

Qrow swatted the hand off "Fuck off Tai, this has been a long time coming from him. I've sacrificed so, so much for this cause, but suddenly I find out my damn niece with two buns in the oven got kidnapped by someone he put faith in? Oh, I have a right to be pissed!"

Ozpin sighed. "You want to know why I made my choice? I thought James was still my friend. I thought I could trust him, give him a chance to do good after the lose of his job. I thought I could give you time off you needed, finally give you a break you needed. But I was wrong. I was wrong about my friend, and now one of my most promising students is in the hands of a power hungry monster convinced he's doing what's right. So yes. I owe you, Tai, Mr. Arc, and most of all, Ms. Rose an apology." The headmaster said quietly, his voice full of guilt.

Jaune took this in. It was a lot to take. James Ironwood, a person infamous for his betrayal during the Vytal festival, had kidnapped Ruby. But at the same time, something set off alarms in Jaune's head. Ozpin, as kind as he could be, always had an ulterior motive. "So what brings you here Professor Ozpin?" Jaune asked.

The professor sighed deeply. "As much as I hate to distract and divide you, but I need huntsmen to find the maidens. Now, more than ever. I'm not asking any of you to give up the search for Ms. Rose. But the Maidens need to be found now, rather than later. Ironwood is bound to make them his next goal, and same goes for Cinder's leader."

Yang slammed her fist down on the table "So what? You want us to go chase some girls you don't even know where they are rather than look for my sister!?" She growled darkly at the headmaster.

Jaune looked at the table in front of him. The tensions were high between the headmaster and the rest of the group. Yang and Qrow looked ready to kill Ozpin, Tai was trying to calm the two down, Nora was quiet which was always a bad sign, Weiss was glaring daggers at the headmaster, while Blake was keeping up her stoic appearance, Sun was actually serious and deep in thought, Ren was keeping his face neutral, his family had kept their judgement to themselves, Professor Goodwitch had her hand gripped tightly around her riding crop ready to protect Ozpin if it came to it, and Pyrrha...she had a look of fear on her face.

Jaune knew Pyrrha had bad memories with anything involving the maidens. Hell, the whole problem there freshmen year probably was the reason why he was with Ruby now rather than her. But Pyrrha was a good friend. A loyal one. And Jaune knew what he had to do.

"Guys. We have to help find the maidens." Jaune reluctantly said. To this, the entire table burst into chaos.  
"IS MY SISTER NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH? ARE YOUR OWN CHILDREN?" Yang bellowed, her eyes tinted red.

Jaune gritted his teeth "Of course they are! But things are at stake here. We need to divide up and get more people to help find the maidens and Ruby. Sun, I'm gonna need you to get the rest of your team. Ozpin, each maiden should be on a continent, right?"

The professor nodded "Yes. Fall to Vale, Winter to Atlas, Summer to Vacuo, and Spring to Mistral."

"So we get five teams ready. Four to find the maidens and one to find Ruby." Jaune reasoned. "Sun, your team could hunt for the Spring maiden."

"Well, I would have to fill the guys in on all this stuff...oh boy, wait till Neptune hears this." The monkey faunus said, giving a low whistle. "But yeah, I'm pretty sure I can safely say team SSSN is on the case."  
The headmaster however, spoke up. "As good as a plan that sounds Mr. Arc, I would suggest you have at least one veteran hunter on each team. These are extremely dangerous people we're fighting against, and hunters you may be, but experience is needed for the tasks ahead. Glynda, Qrow, Tai, Ms. Schnee's older sister Winter, Oobleck, Mr and Mrs Arc, and Port are the ones I suggest."

Jaune nodded in agreement. "Sounds fair. Sun, I think Glynda would be a good fit for your team."

"What?! But she's the strictest one here!" Sun moaned only to be cut off by Glynda cracking her riding crop right in front of him.

"Was that sass I heard." The teacher scolded the faunus

"No!"

"No, Ma'am" She glared

"No Ma'am" Sun said glaring daggers at Jaune.

Moving past Sun's antics, Jaune went on planning the teams. "Alright. Now, Mom, Dad, I think you can take the family to Vacuo and secure the summer maiden."

"This could be just the family vacation we've been waiting for dear!" John smiled as his wife nodded in agreement.

"Now for Atlas, I was thinking we could get team CFVY with Winter. With Weiss's sister being in the military, that's more resources they can use. As for Vale, I want my team on duty. Nora, Ren, Pyrrha, I want you searching for the fall maiden. You'll be working with Oobleck on this. Pyrrha, you're now the temporary leader. Kinda fitting seeing as you already ran it before."

The champion looked at Jaune with shock. Pyrrha always considered herself more of a helpful teammate. Yes, during JNPR's run at Beacon she would have helped a little with running the team, but she never wanted any leadership position. The last thing she needed was another pedestal to be put on. That's why she was so appreciative of Jaune being leader. As clueless as he is, he's a great leader. But with Ruby at stake, Pyrrha could suck it up and take the role, for now.

"Finally, for Ruby, me, and the rest of team RWBY, will pair with Qrow and Tai, if it's okay with you two." Jaune said looking at the two adults in question.

"The faster we get my daughter back the better" Tai said, slamming his fist into his palm, Qrow nodded his head in agreement.  
"Alright, let's head out. Remember to keep contact via scroll. Report back as soon as you can to Ozpin." Jaune said, then turned to the Ruby Rescue Team (name pending). "Now, as for us, I know just the lead" He said with a dark grin. See how he likes it when he's outnumbered...

* * *

Roman was having a long day. The Asshat in charge was near strangulating him with the leash he kept on him, Greeny and Legs were assholes, half his men were demanding raises and more health benefits, and Neo was running his bills through the roof on ice cream.

Who the hell needs 50 gallons of the stuff? What does she even do with it!?

Roman groaned as he entered his room. God, he was looking forward to sleep in his bed. That was a least one positive thing, at least he didn't have to deal with prison beds again.

Flicking on the lights, Roman was shocked as there in his room, was the Arc boy, Goldilocks and what looked like her daddy, Ice Queen Jr., Kitten, and Qrow Branwen, all sharing the same grim expression.

"Ummm...Boxtop, glad to see you're alive" Roman said nervously "You understand right...just a business measure... I see you brought your friends...Neo's occupied at the moment, isn't she?"

The group of hunters and huntresses slowly nodded.

"This is not going to end well for me is it?"

They nodded again and cracked their knuckles.

"Shit."

* * *

Mercury was pissed. That blonde bitch had landed a solid punch on his jaw, and it still hurt like a bitch. Not only that, he now had to recalibrate his legs due to taking several shotgun blasts to the kneecaps. Groaning, Mercury propped his feet up on the armory table and begin to tighten some of the screws. Thankfully, the armory seemed to have more than enough supplies to work on his prosthetics, some if it really quite remarkable.  
"You ever wonder why we are doing this?"

The assassin turned around to see Emerald walking into the room.

"The fuck is this coming from Em? We do it cause we it's what people like us do, and that jackass is doing some good for us." Mercury said, focusing on his leg.  
Emerald sighed "It's just that, I know we're doing this, but with Cinder, we never had to do shit like this."

"Cinder's dead Em." Mercury growled, throwing down the screwdriver. "Those good ol' days are gone! We were just a bunch of stupid kids following some bitch with a scheme we had no idea what it was! Kinda like know! What the fuck is this guy's end plan? The fuck if I know! But I don't want to end up like last time, where everyone leaves the moment shit hits the fan."

Emerald sighed "That's just the thing. Maybe we're on the wrong side."

"I'm a trained assassin and you're a thief, both of us are still associated with our old boss's plot to destroy Beacon and collapse the world into chaos. It's a bit late in the game to wonder about the moral high ground, Em."

"But that's just the thing. Back when we were with Cinder, we never hurt anyone who didn't really deserve it. Kill a White Fang Traitor there, cast some illusions here, kick a kid. But...this?" Emerald said "We kidnapped a mother to be and that man intends to make her kids into soldiers for his own use."

Mercury rolled his eyes "So what? How is this any different?"

"How'd you feel being raised for a purpose you had no say in? Oh wait, you do! How are you legs today?!" Emerald snapped at him.

Mercury glared at her. His father was always a sore spot with him. Hell, one of the satisfying moments in his life was when he put the bastard 6 feet under. What sick bastard cuts off his own kid's legs? No. Emerald was exaggerating. No kid would go through something like he did...right? Mercury shook his head "Piss off Em. Don't need you going soft on me." He growled, getting up and leaving the room.

* * *

 **Omake: Get that f**king sauce. (Or when Lone was a mental breakdown)**

 _Several months ago..._

"Remind me why you dragged me on this hunt for Jaune?" Blake deadpanned.

Yang looked at her partner "Who said I was hunting for Jaune?"  
Blake blinked "Ummm… the fact that he knocked up your sister?" She questioned

"Why would I do that? What kind of psychopath do you take me for Blake! Going on a death hunt because the two decided to fool around? Besides, Ruby could kill him blindfolded if she wanted to." Yang said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

This caught Blake off guard, but she quickly jumped to the next logical conclusion. "Then what are you looking for then? Your mom?" She asked slowly, fearing the response.

The Blonde Brawler grabbed Blake by the shoulders and started shaking her "I don't give a shit about my mom Blake! Most people think that's what drives me as a character, but it's not! I brought you with me to find the sauce, Blake!" Yang ranted

The cat faunus gave Yang a disturbed look "What sauce…?"

"THE FUCKING MULAN SZECHUAN MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE BLAKE! I gotta get it! I don't care if it takes me 9 volumes, Blake, I'm getting that fucking sauce, because you wanna know why Blake? Because that's what drives me, Blake. Not mommy issues, finding Ruby, not losing my arm-"

"But that never happened"

"-I don't care, Blake! Because I'm getting that fucking Szechuan sauce! That's my character arc, Blake! I don't care if it takes forever, longer than this story does to complete!"

"What are you talking about-"

"Lone thinks he's so FUCKING clever ripping this off, but nooooo. Because I'm getting that fucking MULAN dipping sauce, Blake! No crappy fanfic writer is gonna stop me from getting that Szechuan mcnugget sauce, Blake! I don't care if some old crazy scientist and his grandson wants it, I'm getting it first! Just me and you, Blake, getting that FUCKING MULAN MCNUGGET SZECHUAN DIPPING SAUCE! "

Blake looked at Yang continued on about her rant, completely lost. Who the hell was Lone guy, what the hell was Szechuan sauce? And why did she want to drag her into this?! When did this become her life?


	24. Chapter 21 Layla

**9 Months to Live  
** **Chapter 21: Layla**

 **Disclaimer: Long ago, in a distant land, I, Lone, the pun-making master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil to the RWBY community! But the foolish creators, wielding the rights to RWBY, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was cast, I tore open a disclaimer in space time, flinging them into the future where my dankness is law.  
Don't own the rights to RWBY. **

**AN: Well, shit. It appears I've done goofed. It appears I did too much plot. Reviews have been mixed on the actual story, and some people just straight out stopped reading due to the recent developments. Did I go too dark? Maybe. Probably. A little. I mean, I still had humor in it...buried under a pile of angst and shit. But this Arc (heh) will go on! I'll just try to find that sweet spot of plot and humor. But dat sauce tho. Now as for Ironwood, he was, as many guessed, always the Captain. Another thing pointed out is that I've been ignoring Ruby's pregnancy. Now, I admit fully that in the earlier chapters I had them largely focus on Jaune, as my crackish humor demanded. I've made a conscious effort to make this more towards the actual pregnancy, and I will try to bring it more to attention (despite the fact that the children are at risk of being used for EVIL or something.)  
** **Now one last thing. *pulls out party horn* WE'VE REACHED OVER 1000 FAVS! Celebration time, come on!**

 **Now, *looks around* Where's the goddamn window?**

 **Meep: Can't break the window if there's no window to break**

 **Lone: *Revs chainsaw hand, then cuts a hole in the wall then jumps out of it* Gotta find that FUCKING szechuan sauce!**

 **Meep: But...but… I... HOW?!**

* * *

"I SWEAR TO GOD I KNOW NOTHING!"

Qrow looked reluctantly as he held Roman the over the stage by his ankle as Tai and Yang took turns practicing their right hooks on the suspended mobster.

"You know." The avian named huntsman said "You keep saying that, but for some reason I ain't quite buying your bullshit. Now you see, I thought by now,my lighter haired friends would have beaten said bullshit out of you, but for some reason I would normally find impressive, I haven't heard a goddamn thing from your mouth about my niece yet. Maybe next I'll let the Arc work some on his aim? Maybe have Kitty cat over here string you up and use you as the ball for a game of father daughter tether ball between my niece and old teammate. Ooh, or maybe we let Tai hold your ankle so me, him and Ice Queen Jr. can practice some swordplay on you? Oh, and I should mention Tai's grip won't nearly be as gentle as mine." Qrow said, applying more pressure to Torchwick's ankle.

Roman paled. These bastards broke into his own base! He was just minding his own business (not really) hadn't done anything worth pissing off the hunter goody two shoe squad, hell, he thought he cracked a deal with them for intel on the douchebag in charge! "Look, I told you brutes that I know nothing about the whole scheme to kidnap little red! I mean, last thing I'd want is to get myself in your shithole by kidnapping boxtop's girlfriend! So would you so kindly put me THE FUCK DOWN!"

Jaune looked at the captive criminal. While there was a part of him that did take satisfaction in the thug's pain, it was clear he had no idea where Ruby was, much less even knew she was kidnapped. So either Roman was a better actor than they gave him credit for or he really didn't know where she was.

However, there could still be use.

"Let him down" Jaune said.

Qrow shrugged, then released his grip off Roman, the crook falling to the ground with a thud.

"Ow, fucking pricks…" He cursed, rubbing the forming bruise on his ankle.

"Language." Weiss chastised.

Qrow looked at her like she grew a third head. "We're in the middle of interrogating this sleazeball and you criticize him, out of all things, his language?"

Weiss looked at the drunk with the patented Schnee glare, not amused in the least. "Don't you have to watch over this miscreant?"

"Dear god, how long did Ruby put up with this?" Tai whispered to Yang as Qrow begin to push Weiss's buttons on purpose.  
Yang shrugged "Honestly, she's better than she was when we first met her."

Tai looked in disbelief

Finally, Roman cracked over the bickering between the white haired banshee and the drunk. "Oh for the love of god, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LITTLE RED! Now shut up and get out of my base before my boss kills me!" He snapped.

Jaune raised an eyebrow. "Oh, nonononono. Your dear 'boss' has kidnapped Ruby. And since you don't know anything about it, you're gonna find out."

"And what's to stop me from getting in the Captain's good graces and ratting you lot out?" Roman growled.

"Qrow?"  
The veteran hunter replied by bringing his massive scythe down right down between Roman's legs, the duel barrels pointed straight at him as the gears whirred then thudded into place. "Just fucking try, Limpdick." Qrow said, a crazed gleam in his eyes.

A man of Roman's caliber was in the business long enough to know when to fold. "Alright, fine...I'll see what I can find out." He swallowed nervously

Jaune raised his gun towards the mobster "You have a week before we start looking?"

"Eh, I'd say less than a week." Qrow added

"Yeah, gotta agree with Mr Booze over here, the sooner the better." Blake commented.

"What he said." Jaune corrected his statement "So, find out, and find out soon."

* * *

Leaving the seemingly innocent warehouse, the group couldn't help but be disappointed and frustrated. They were no closer to finding Ruby then they were before, and every moment was time with Ruby captive, an unknown variable that grew more tense with each passing hour.|

"Well, shit." Yang said, vocally saying the thing on everyone's mind "Now what?"

The group paused for a moment, however, Tai spoke up "Ozpin said this guy was looking at some of that Cinder lady Qrow killed old contacts. Do we know any other connections she had that might be a good lead?"

Yang gave an awkward cough "Well...I think I know a guy…" She said sheepishly

Qrow raised an eyebrow "You think?"

"Well, he's a club owner…"

"And like that, a reason to visit. I could use a drink."

Jaune looked at this with skepticism "That's just one lead. As far as we know, this...who is he again, Yang?"

"Junior."

"This Junior could be even more useless than Torchwick. We need to start finding trails to follow. Weiss, an army like the one Ozpin said he's been planning has to be supplied. Is there anyway we could check dust shipments to see if anything pops up that's unusual?"

Weiss nodded her head "I should be able to stop at the communications tower and pick up some manifestos and see if anythings unusual for it."  
Tai, however, looked uncomfortable. Something was bugging him. "Qrow, could we speak for a bit? Alone" He said, speaking up.

"Why do you want to speak to Uncle Qrow alone Dad?" Yang asked, the rest of the group seeming interested.

"It's nothing against you guys...well, girls and guy." Tai said awkwardly "It's just a matter of old teammate things. Why don't you all go ahead and start up? We'll meet you there."

Yang merely shrugged and began to walk off towards her bike, Blake following her while Jaune followed Weiss towards the tower. "Guess the betting pools where right. Knew I should have gone entire team."

Tai looked at Qrow as the younger huntsman and huntresses left the area. "You know, it wouldn't hurt to check. She might not have much respect for us, but the least she can do is save the last remnants we have of Summer."

Qrow sighed "Tai, that's a stupid idea. You know she operates on her own agenda. What makes her want to help save Ruby? She hardly cares about her own kid. Besides, tracking her down is a different story altogether."

"Qrow, we need to look at this realistically. I know you want to help, but I truly think it would be better if you went and looked for Raven to help us."  
The avian hunter raised a brow and leaned towards Tai "Oh, and why is that?"

"Look, I don't mean this in any way of being rude, but I can't afford to have you around the main search group. Not with your semblance. I'm not taking that risk. Not with Ruby at stake. So I need you to find your sister, and get her to help us. I know, I know this is a lot to ask. But please, help me get my daughter back." Tai said, desperation in his eyes.

Qrow didn't know what to feel. On one hand, he felt hurt, betrayed. But Tai was right. His semblance would rear it's head one way or another, and it was better to leave before it was vital. "Alright fine." He sighed "But dealing with my oh so wonderful saint of a sister, I want some form of payment. By that, I want the rest of the beer I made before the girls were born. That shit was good."

Tai widened his eyes in shock "You mean the Roadhouse Boomstick Megakick Exoitic Grimm Reaper? Qrow, that is literally a hazard to be around, let alone drink!"

"Do you wanna get Raven?"

"Fuck no, she hates me!"

"Then give me my baby, and I'll get your baby momma, while you go with the kids to find Julie's-

"You're doing that on purpose."

"-baby momma."

Tai sighed, but nodded, returning back to his serious demeanor "Thank you for doing this. Seriously Qrow. Words cannot express my gratitude."

The avian man merely chuckled "Eh, I've been meaning to pay her a visit anyway. Afterall, doesn't she owe you thousands in child services?"

Tai blinked. "Holy shit… She does! FIND HER! NOW, DO IT NOW!" The blonde man shouted, basically throwing Qrow off on his way.

* * *

Tyrian looked at his objective with a dark grin, barely containing his glee. His goal was to find out what his lady's TRAITOROUS new toy Jimmy was doing against his precious Queen, but to find out the information that he could strike the pesky Qrow that had been bothering the Lady's plans, even to the point of killing that foolish miscreant Cinder before she could fill his Lady's grand plan! Oh, how happy the Queen will be when he returns with the dead bird in hand! He can see it now, crushing the Branwen slowly with his tail, squeezing the life from his foolish hands that dare defy the fate of his Goddess!

No, he said quietly to himself. He must focus. He'd tail ( **AN: Heh, pun)** them, get the information on the metal man, then kill the damn bird, then kill tin man. He'd have to be, for he knew his lady would be displeased in him if he returned empty handed. No, he only couldn't even bare the thought! To top it off, it looked like he didn't even need to separate the Branwen from the rest of his group, but not that he wouldn't enjoy playing with them later. They all looked fairly skilled, though the skinny blonde one seemed interesting...oh, he'll enjoy toying with him...

* * *

"I'm borrrrrredddddddddddddd" Ruby droned out to the camera in her cell. If she was in prison, the least she could do was drive her captors insane. "And hungry. I demand cookies!"

All sympathy Emerald had for the girl was gone. Hell, was about ready to go and break the captain's rule and kill her already. The little goody two shoes had been going at this for hours since waking up. Did this girl just radiate optimise? It almost made her physically sick. And she HAD to watch over the camera feed from the cell to insure that she doesn't escape.

"Feed me!"

Emerald's eye twitch. Maybe out back… how long could she fool them with an illusions before they noticed that she disposed of the body?

"This is freaking hysterical to watch. Little Red is just pushing all your buttons"

Emerald turned to see Mercury munching on a bowl of popcorn, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

"Don't you have something better to do?" The green haired thief deadpanned.

"You know, I probably do. But watching your pain and suffering is so much more amusing to me."

He replied, grabbing a handful of popcorn and munching on it.

"I hate you. So, so very much." She gritted out.

"You know, here's a smart idea. Why don't you, I don't know, feed her?" Mercury snarked at her.

Emerald blinked. She thought by now one of the guards would have given Red some food, but then she recalled that the captain put her in charge of her...and that apparently meant feeding her.

"Give me your popcorn jackass." She said, snatching the bowl from his hands.

"But...but… that's my popcorn." he stuttered, looking like a sad pathetic puppy.

"Sorry, I'll give it back." She said sweetly, handing it back to him, only for the assassin to find it was an illusion.

Emerald hated puppies.

"GOD DAMN IT EM!"

Ruby continued to pout in her cell, her stomach sending her pangs of hunger. God, were her captors gonna feed her at least? She was eating for 3, after all! Her unborn twins,actually, it was getting tiring of referring to them as that. _Note to self, discuss names with Jaune_ she thought.

Suddenly, Emerald, the girl who was one of Cinder's teammates appeared in the room, holding a bowl of popcorn.

"How? What?" Ruby looked at her in shock

"Here's your food." The green haired thief said, dropping the bowl down to her.

"Popcorn?"

Emerald's eye twitched "Do you not want it Red?"

"NoSorryIt'sJustThatMaybeSomethingALittleMoreWouldBeNicePlease?" She squeaked out, grabbing the bowl and devouring it, Emerald taking smug satisfaction that Mercury was probably watching the feed in torment.

Emerald looked into to her eyes and saw something she remembered long ago. That desperate fear, not knowing what happens next...she wasn't able to cast convincing decoys by stories after all. It tore her inside to have been the cause of that fear. She couldn't do this. Not for long.

"Look, what do you want Red?" She said, trying to extend an olive branch to the huntress.

"To get out of here and back with my-"

"Yeah, that's not happening. What do you want to eat besides Mercury's popcorn?" She deadpanned.

Ruby paused for moment, deep in thought. She decided that she needed to accept this for what it's worth. This was the nicest thing anyone has done for her since she arrived, no, placed in this prison. She gave a simple order, a small meal composed of food that reminded her of home.

"Anything else Red?" Emerald said, her patience ticking.

"A strawberry and chocolate cookie. If it wouldn't be too much trouble." She squeaked quietly.

Emerald glared "Really? Sweets?"

"I like cookies."

Emerald rubbed her brow, her migraine pounding in her skull. "I'll see what I can do. But no promises." And with that, she left the cell. Emerald knew she should have just given the prisoner the standard food, but she felt... _inclined?_ to make her slightly more comfortable. It was her fault that the kid was here anyway. What good was trying to clear her hands of this now by offering the kid some nice things? God, when where the days she could just rob some rich dick without giving a crap about feeling like crap later.

She needed to contact Torchwick. She was growing more and more uneasy with this Captain, and she needed to know if he had that backdoor ready.

* * *

Sun was tired. He was enjoying getting close to Blake and meeting her parents, and actually helping lead the White Fang back to their original ways. However, he now couldn't think that he was not in the ideal situation…

His team was mildly salty at him to say the least. Neptune, Scarlet, and Sage were giving him the stink eye as if he did something horribly evil to them, and Ms Goodwitch strictness was just adding to tension. Sun had no idea why his team might be mad at him. He contacted them saying they had a mission to do, and sure enough they were there to meet him when his bullhead landed, but not with smiles and hive fives, but with scowls and cold shoulders. As Ms Goodwitch begin to lay out their game plan for finding the Spring Maiden, planning on first having them check the headmaster, then having them scope out the villages for rumors of a young woman helping anyone in need of help. Sure enough, the headmaster was a dead end, having no idea on the whereabouts of the maiden. So, they set out on the next village, in an unusual silence, that surprisingly Ms Goodwitch had nothing to do with.

The silence was torture to the monkey faunus. Sun lived for excitement, adventure, and to see his teammates so unnatural quite, glaring at him like he was some turd, it was draining. He just didn't know why. They stopped for the night, setting up camp, Neptune going to bed in his tent, Sage and Scarlet went off to get more firewood, leaving Sun alone with the teacher from Beacon.

"So...nice weather tonight…" He said awkwardly, trying to break the tension.

"I suppose so, Mr Wu Kong." Glynda stated.

Sun paused for a moment. Ms Goodwitch was a teacher from Beacon, maybe she'd know what's wrong with his team. "Say, you're a great at teaching hunters, right?"

Glynda raised a brow "I do my job to the best of my abilities, yes."

"Do you think you can tell me what's wrong with my team then?" Sun said

"I don't see anything wrong with your team Mr. Wu Kong." She said, Sun giving her a confused look. "I see an error in their leader."

"Oh come on, I'm a great leader! We hardly ever lose with me in charge!"  
"There's more to being a leader than leading a team to victory, Mr Wu Kong."  
"Whaddya mean?"

"A leader must look out for their team, guiding them, helping them, walking beside them. They are put on a pedestal above their peers, and it's their role. The best teams often have the strongest bonds. You have not shown any of the traits yet. Yes, you're good at leading them in battle, but that's just one facet of leadership. Time has shown that you have cast aside your team when the occasion rises in order to pursue other desires."

"What? That's not true!"  
"Oh, then where was your team when you first showed up at Beacon Academy 4 years ago? Did you inform them of your plans with Ms Belladonna?"

"Okay, I went ahead to Beacon because we thought it was a good idea to scout out the competition, and Neptune is scared of water!"

"And did you try to work around this or help him with it?" She scolded him, Sun lowering his head. In hindsight, he was being a jackass to Neptune back then. "Being a leader isn't fun and games. I know teams work differently for each academy, but you in the short time I've seen have not portrayed any traits of a leader. If you want your team to warm up to you, earn it." Glynda stated. "And I recommend you do it fast, as we will need to be in top shape if we are to find the maiden in time before Ironwood or the Grimm get to her."

* * *

 **Omake: Immersion Special  
** **AN: This is my sorry for being so late. Hope y'all enjoy.**

Yang looked into the camera "Is this thing on?"

Ruby gave her sister a thumbs up, holding the camera in the other "We're rolling, sis!"

"My name is Yang Xaio Long, and I'm totally not doing this for extra credit because my science class is a pain in the ass and I need this to pass."

"Yang, you literally threw a desk out a window when the teacher asked you to give an example of Newton's laws of physics." Ruby deadpanned.

"I still don't get how that wasn't valid example!"

"It hit a student! They had to get sent to the nurse!"

"Well, if they can't dodge an incoming desk, then they obviously aren't ready for Beacon. Anyway, I come here today with a simple question. You ever wondered how video game logic would apply in real life? I come here today with my two lab rats, Jaune Arc, leader of team JNPR, and Sun Wu Kong leader of team SSSN of Haven." Yang said as Ruby focused the camera onto the blonde leaders, both wearing blue jumpsuits with a chibi version of Yang giving a thumbs up.

"I'm getting payed for this, right?" Jaune asked, picking at the jumpsuit.

"And you're gonna help me get Blake to go on a date with this lovable monkey?" Sun followed up with a wink towards the camera.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" The Blonde Brawler dismissed with no care. "Now, today, we'll be testing two games in mind. The first one is to see how terrifyingly it would be to go through the situation you're put into in the famous horror game, 5 Nights at Freddy's. Now our version, due to budgeting, will be 5 Night's at Juniors! And...cut" Yang said then turned to Jaune and Sun "Now be at Junior's club by midnight." She smiled at them as she walked off.

"Wait, why did you bring us here when we weren't even doing anything till tonight?!" Sun called out to Yang.

Sun looked in the poorly lit office. "So, what, we just watch the place with the cameras for 6 hours? This isn't that scary." He scoffed as he sat down in the swivel chair and spun around, already bored.

Jaune, however, was familiar with the game they were emulating. "Sun, I be very, very careful…" He said, poking his head out into the dark hallway.

"Oh come on! Our careers have us fighting the scariest monsters this world has to offer! I'm not gonna be scared of the some cheap animatronics in the dark-where the hell did the bunny one go?" Sun suddenly said, his eyes widening in horror "JESUS CHRIST, THAT THING JUST GOT OFF STAGE! CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOOR, CLOSE IT NOW, YOU IDIOT!"  
"I can't! if I do, then we'll use up all the power and we'll be double screwed!" Jaune yelled out

"What sick bastards play this game for fun?" Sun wailed as he monitored more costumed mascots spring off stage.

Yang looked at the feed from the office they were getting, munching on a bucket of popcorn. This was priceless! I mean, use the Pumpkin Pete's mascot costume with some fake blood covered in it, Some Grimm costumes, and fool team CRDL into wearing them! Was it a little bit overkill to give them tasers? Motivation for her test monkeys (heh) to do better...wait, did she tell them they had tasers? Oh well.

 _3 hours later…_

Sun and Jaune were in full panic mode. They were down to less than 10% of battery life, the pounding on the doors was getting worse, the fucking bunny was in the vent, they could hear tasers crackling. Jaune for the first hour had managed to keep somewhat of a cool head, trying to develop a strategy to consume less power, but the damn things just kept coming! It was like they each harbored vendettas against them!

Sun looked to Jaune, fear causing him to tremble "Jaune, if I don't make it, tell Blake that she number 2 on my list of hottest girls."

"And if I don't, tell my team they were like a second family, thank Ruby for helping me through some rough times, and tell Pyrrha that I valued her friendship."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Just our friendship. She was a good friend."

Sun looked at him. Was he really that fucking dense? Suddenly, an idea hit the monkey boy.

"Jaune, how high is your aura?"

"Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I've been told it's pretty big, if I do say so myself" Jaune said with a fake modesty.

Sun gave a dark grin "Excellent...Excellent."

"Sun, what is that smile-WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP?"

The monkey faunus gave him a blindly white smile "I'mma use you to bludgeon them away. Don't worry, your aura should protect you. I think."

"THAT'S A HORRIBLE IDEA!"

"The only horrible ideas are the ones never tried!"

"MOUNT GLENN BEGS TO DIFFER!"

"Oh hush and let me use your dense head to live."

 _One Epic Arc Wielding Fight and Concussion Test later._

"Now our next experiment is on the popular game Fruit Hunter! This popular scroll game has the player slicing bits of fruit thrown at them. Our goal today is to if our lab monkeys can successfully hit as many fruit as they can, and see if the game is accurate. We will have our team of loyal scientists" Yang explained, gesturing towards the rest of team SSSN and JNPR wielding slingshots next to a large crate of fruit. "They will use the slingshots we've given them to launch the fruit at you, then you, with the weapons we supplied you, will try to slice them before they hit you. Any questions?"

"Yes." Sun raised a hand "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?!"

"For science!" Yang said with a smile. "Now, we felt bad about leading you into this since you guys technically aren't hunters. So we got a real hunter to help you guys!...I said a real hunter to help you… A REAL HUNTER TO HELP"

"Oh shit, that's my que." Jaune and Sun were greeted with the sight of Ruby and Yang's Uncle Qrow stumbling into the room in a drunken strut. "Sup Jeremy, Harambe." He waved towards the two.

"A drunk in gonna teach us for an afternoon." Jaune deadpanned "This is gonna end well."  
"Sarcasm isn't gonna help" Yang replied with a smile "Now let the training begin! I'm gonna go do Yang things." and with that, Yang walked off.

Jaune and Sun looked at the drunken man with skepticism in their eyes "So what, how are we gonna do this, exactly-"

However, they were cut off as Qrow flickered and appeared behind them, kicking both of them in the face with a well timed roundhouse "TRAINING BEGINS NOW"

 _1 Training Montage set to that sweet Eye of the Tiger/I Burn mix used in RWBY chibi Later_

Yang walked up to the two lab monkeys "So, you guys ready for this?"

Jaune rubbed his forehead "No...I think your uncle gave me a hangover...ow"

"Well too bad!" She smiled, then gestured towards the testing area, a makeshift wall build with a large pile of fruit stacked away from it "Now, for the first round, we have Sun. Now, for the sake of this not being a blatant massacre, we've supplied you with some standard nunchucks. Now it will be your goal to deflect as much fruit as possible in order to win the Victory of Science. Now for throwing the fruit, we recruited the generous talents of teams SSSN, CFVY, and the Vale police department. They jumped on the opportunity to throw fruit at you. Something about vengeance on the stowaway. You ready monkey boy?"

Sun shook his head frantically "NO! This is ridiculous! I'm completely outnumbered-"

"BEGIN!" Yang said, firing her gauntlet to signal the start.

Sun hardly had time to react, dodging apples, watermelons, limes, lemons, pears, and when the opportunity arises, even deflecting some with the nunchucks supplied to him. Hell, he even caught a banana with his tail for a snack for later! However, when the timer begin to countdown from 10, Sun saw Scarlet pick up a coconut, a dark gleam in his eyes. Oh son of a bitc-

Jaune cringed as he saw the red haired pirate give his leader the same finisher he received at the Vytal festival. Jaune knew right off the bat that he wouldn't be as good as Sun did. Hell, he'd be lucky to make it out alive.

"Now next up is the Lady Killer, the Vomit Boy himself, Jaune Arc." Yang announced, transitioning to Jaune as Blake lacklusterly (and unwillingly) dragged a near comatose Sun off the testing area. "Now, for you, we have Weiss, the rest of your team, team CRDL, and team BRNZ!"

Jaune looked in defeat "Is there anyone you didn't get that hates me?"

"Well, now that you asked…"

"Forget I asked!" Jaune yelled as he raised his wooden sword rabidly.

"Alright, begin!"

Nora gained a maniacal grin, picking up the entire cart of fruit, raising it high "NORA SMASH"  
Jaune's eyes widened in shock "Nora, NOOO-"

Yang stood in front of Jaune in a full body cast and Sun with an ice pack on his groin, both looking quite furious at her. "Well gentlemen, I think we made a great advancement in science today!"

"What advancement! I got hit in the dick with a coconut and Jaune got an entire cart of fruit thrown at him by the ginger chick on his team! HOW IS THIS AT ALL AN ADVANCEMENT!" Sun yelled, Jaune moaning in agreement

"Because I'm now passing science!" She smiled back at them. " But you know, I'm beginning to think the writer have something against Jaune."

"What? What writer? And he didn't get hit in the dick! God, I didn't think Karma would work this way!"

"Sshh...this is all a joke, it's not even cannon to the plot. Now tell me, what do you know about this thing called Szechuan Sauce?"


	25. Chapter 22 Thunderstruck

**9 Months To Live**

 **Chapter 22: Thunderstruck**

 **Disclaimer: *pulls out the BFG 9001* I will use this to obtain the rights to RWBY from Rooster Teeth!  
** ***Fires but the recoil from the gun causes Lone to go sailing out the window* GOD DAMNIT PHYSICS!  
** **Don't own RWBY.**

 **AN: Guess who's back? Back again? Loney's back. Tell a friend!  
Hello readers! Tis I, your favorite asshole...I think. Sorry for the wait, I just been busy taking my now somewhat free time to update a little of the older chapters, you know, the ones that are a trash or not bad but not quite the best I've done so far (Personal fav is Piano Man for me. Love that bit with Qrow and Jaune) Past me was a fucking idiot. Which I'm sure I'm gonna be using that phrase somewhere again. Feedback on the last chapter was mostly focused on Qrow calling Sun Harambe. I swear to God, mention that gorilla once on the internet, everyone loses their minds! Now onto questions.**

" **Will you update or is this discontinued?" Oh, for the love of- I WILL TELL YOU IF I EVER DID THAT! I just procrastinate really badly and work on other projects on and off. I would never just drop off the face of the earth and stop writing this story without telling you readers.**

" **More attention on the pregnancy" I'm open to suggestions on how, people. I'm juggling comedy, plot, and pregnancy. If you want more of something in there, propose how.**

 **Now, chapter away! *360 noscopes out the window like a baller, taking out Jerry's kneecap***

* * *

Qrow knew something was off. He'd been walking in the woods for hours now, and nothing happened. But that was just the thing. Nothing happened, no grimm, no bandits, no nothing. It was calm...and it wasn't natural. Call it years of being fighting causing him to be paranoid, but paranoia kept him alive now. Slowly, Qrow brought out his blade, extending it into it's longsword setting.

"You can come out now. I know you're there." He said slowly.

A sliver of steel caught his eyes, just in time too. Raising his blade, sparks flew as metal hit metal, showing the wrist mounted axe heads of a crazed man with a grin that screamed _I just joined a cult, and it's going great!_

Qrow glared at the stranger through the crossmeet of the steel "You have 5 seconds to say who the hell you are before I put you and your ponytailed ass 6 feet in the ground" He gritted out. This stranger was trained to say the least, being able to keep Qrow's blade at bay.

The man jumped away from the clash, backflipping down and giving the drunk a bow "My name is Tryian, humble servant to my Lady Salem, and you have caused quite the ruckus for my lady, killing that MISCREANT Cinder like that all those years ago…"

Qrow's eyes widened in shock. This man was in with Salem's crowd, making this fight a whole lot more deadly than he thought. Cracking his neck back, the huntsmen stretched his willowy frame, his entire body tensed, ready to snap at the slightest moment. "So, what, you plan to kill me and drag my corpse back to the witch bitch like some sort of dog trying to please his master?"  
"HOW DARE YOU CALL THE QUEEN SUCH VILE THINGS! I SHALL HAVE YOUR TONGUE REMOVED!" Tryian howled in rage

"Pal, you are not the first person to threaten me with that, nor will you be the last, and certainly not the most intimidating." Qrow deadpanned.

Tryian, however, did not wait any longer. Faster than most could process, the lunatic went for Qrow's throat, only to be blocked by Qrow's blade. The damn beast of steel would be a hurdle to pass, but one that who be passed by him nonetheless. All Tryian needed to do was disarm the Branwen, then he would be completely helpless! Besides, he still had his tail hidden away for a sneak attack!  
The two exchanged blows, Tyrian's being the more agile of the two, his small wrist axes allowing him to give quick and rapid strikes, but Qrow was not one to let him get an opening, and swung his blade around on pace with the insane man. With a massive strike of his sword, the hunter sent the would be assassin flying into a tree.

Tyrian however reacted fast, landing catlike on top of the tree, clicking his weapon into it's firearm state, blasting at his target with malicious glee, giggling away.

"Oh come on, shooting me from a goddamn tree?" Qrow muttered to himself. Raising the flat of his sword for cover, Qrow let a slight groan at the recoil of it. The rabid onslaught of bullets was not letting up, and the damn loon was jumping from treetop to treetop like a monkey wielding a machine gun and Qrow just took it's last banana. However, mercy came for a brief moment, Qrow finally hearing a blank click of an empty chamber. Perfect.

Rushing forth with as much speed as he could, Qrow cut down the tree with one smooth motion, shifting his blade into its scythe mode mid swing. Tyrian ran down the falling branch, using gravity to help aid his attack, putting his blades forth for an dive assault directly at the Branwen. Qrow quickly raised his scythe and shifted it mid motion back to it's sword and whacked Tryian aside, the hitman falling to side, landing into a crouching position.

"You done playing around, Punk? Cause I got things to do than play with some henchman for some bitch who would care less for you." Qrow spat out.

Tyrian's eye twitched. The...pest… the TRASH...THE SCUM...dare to belittle his queen, his goddess further, as if this was some kind of game? He would not stand for this! HE WILL ANNIHILATE THE BRANWEN FROM THE GROUND HE STOOD! Tryian threw off his coat, raising his tail, primed at ready to pierce his prey.

Qrow blinked "Gonna be honest. I did not account for the giant fucking the hell did you hid that thing in your coat, shove it up your ass?"

Tyrian let out a rage filled roar moved at Qrow with inhuman like speed, knocking Qrow with his tail. The hunter let out an audible oof, the blow knocking the breath out of him, causing him to lose his stance and drop his weapon, his sword embedding itself deep inside a large oak, Qrow's back slamming heavily against a tree with a painful thud.

Tyrian begin to slowly saunter over to his prey "Well, little bird, look at you. No weapon, low aura, and no back up. You can try to beg, but it won't work. Your transgressions are too many"

Qrow let out a light chuckle as he picked himself up, cracking his fists. "Look, I don't give a damn about your bullshit right now Scorpy, but you forgot to do your homework. I was on the greatest team to come out of Beacon, and on that team was Taiyang Xiao Long, the man with the dragon's fist."

"So what, you expect your friend to come here and save you"

Qrow smirked. "Nope." And with that, he punched him right in face, an audible crack could be heard as the assassin's nose broke. Qrow continued on with a left hook to his face, then finally a heavy kick to the groin.

Tyrian only saw red. This...this...MAN WAS MOCKING HIM, HIS LADY!

Tryian shot up like a rocket, his tail primed directly at Qrow's throat.

But he never got the chance.

Qrow blinked as he saw a familiar katana slice through the tail like a red hot knife through butter.

 _Raven._

"Lovely to see that even as an adult I have to save your hide, dear brother." She said, poison in her words as she sheathed her katana.

"Fuck off Raven." Qrow hissed. Honestly, with his aura teetering near zero right now, he couldn't afford to play stupid, especially since he wouldn't put it beyond Raven to stab him in the god damn back.

Tryian on the other hand, seemed to be done.

"She won't be pleased...no she will not. She will hate us for this...but she will hate me more if I die. A dead servant is a useless servant…" he mumbled to himself, beginning to scatter off.

Raven begin to start pursuing him, but Qrow's hand held her back.

"We got bigger fish to fry first sis." He said. "Besides, we need to catch up first. But not here."

Raven looked her brother in the eye "Let me guess where, the nearest bar?"

"Why, that sounds like a wonderful idea!"  
"Why are you here Qrow? I know you've been looking for me. I told you before about Yang, I'm not-"

" _Tai's_ daughter has lost her interest in finding you for a long time because of the deadbeat mom you are."

Raven would never let it show, but that cut deeper than she ever thought. So many people had lost hope on her. Her brother, Tai, Summer had been the only one left on the team STRQ who thought she had good left in her, and she's dead. Had Yang really given up on her? Her own daughter? "Then why are you here, and why was that nutcase trying to kill you?"

"Like I said, it's a long story, and I'm definitely gonna need something stronger than the stuff in my flask to get through it. So, let's catch up some Sis."

* * *

Pyrrha was having...a time.

Well, the boy she still harbored feelings (that she repressed deeply in order to not make things awkward), and his baby momma who was a friend of her's that the two...did things after a drunken party, said baby momma was kidnaped by a former high ranking military officer because her eyes had magic properties that he planned to use to fight an evil supernatural witch that was somehow connected to the grimm, and now she was looking for the Maidens, business she thought she would never have to get involved with again after the Vytal festival their freshman year.  
And now Nora had built a pillow fort in the inn they were staying with that night, and if the noises she heard last night were any indication, she was pretty sure Ren and Nora had taken their relationship to a much more... _physical_ level. A much louder, vocal, physical level if that moaning was what she thought it was.

Not that she would ever complain or anything! She was happy for both of them to be in the relationship they were in, but still questioned when it happened and slightly regretted not packing headphones. She decided it would be best to head outside for a bit to get some fresh air and clear her head...and maintain whatever innocence she still had left after hearing those two go at it.

But now, sitting outside by herself, she felt something she had never felt before. Useless. She wasn't meant to be leader, despite what the people of her home would let you believe. But Jaune had put her in charge, trusted her with this duty to find the fall maiden while he finds Ruby. Was this what he felt like when he first arrived at Beacon? Standing on the sidelines being unable to do anything as the bigger players do their job?

"What appears to be bothering you Ms. Nikos?"  
Pyrrha turned around to see Professor-Doctor, sorry-Oobleck standing behind her, with his thermos in his hand, taking a casual sip.  
"Oh, nothing, Doctor Oobleck." She dismissed.

However, her former teacher was not one to fall for such excuses. "Ms. Nikos, tell me, when you went to Beacon, what goal did you have? An exceptional student like yourself surely must have had plans."

Pyrrha paused for a moment. She knew long before her days at Beacon that she was exceptionally skilled at fighting her days in the arena had made almost any school want her. But she choose Beacon as a chance to be a normal girl and not treated like she was so special, like she was just a normal huntress in training. However, she never really had an end goal in mind. She knew the hunter's life was the one for her, what did she want to do after it?

"I honestly have no idea Professor." Pyrrha said, slightly embarrassed. "I guess I plan to see what the future has in store for me."

"Doctor." He corrected "I didn't earn the degree for nothing! And I've heard many students give that response before Ms Nikos enough to know that is way of saying I have no idea for any plan on my future beyond my huntsmen career."

Pyrrha looked sheepishly. The Doctor had hit it right on the head.

"Tell me Ms Nikos, What do you wish for your future?"

"I don't know Doctor Oobleck. I really don't know." She said, looking into the night sky.

* * *

Ruby was deep in thought. After all, that was what it seemed she could do. Between her ankles hurting, feeling miserable, and mood swings, she had time to think, actually think about the future.

She was gonna be a mother.

And she was afraid. Afraid for her future, afraid for her children.

She knew that Jaune was looking for her, but their last argument hung in her head. She wanted to help, to do good for the world, but what so did her mom. When she died, it hurt Ruby. She would never get another hug from her, never bake cookies with her, never get her cuts and scraps cared for by her. But she didn't want to sacrifice her dream of helping people. Ruby had the training, the skills, the power to save those who can't, and when she didn't, and people got hurt, that was on her.

But at the same time, she needed to face some brutal truths. Jaune was not perfect, neither was she. But maybe...maybe she could understand where he was coming from when he hid the work from her. It hurt her deeply that he thought it was necessary for it, but he was trying to look out for her and their unborn children, in his own dorky, stupid way. When her children are born, and if they do manage to be born normally and not in this hell she was trapped in, she needed to look at things realistically. She could never give up the hunter life, it was her dream. But she could not take the missions too dangerous.

She had to make a choice.

Her future family, or the greater good...

and it tore her something fierce to have that innocent naive belief that she could save everyone destroyed in her small, sterile cell.

* * *

Ironwood knew what was coming. Ozpin had sure enough had sent his little pawns to move towards him and the maidens, and Salem was sure enough sending her end to kill him.

But he was not alive because of luck.

Luck lost him his right arm and cursed him to metal imitation.

No. Ironwood made his own path. He refused to follow Ozpin's petty way, he refused to let the grimm consume the world by any means necessary.

He needed to break out the big guns.

Heading down to the lab, Ironwood tightened his fists. It was a risky move, one that if he had the likes of Ozpin or the others, they'd tell him it was too dangerous, too inhumane.

But what the enemy had no morals to limit themselves, and he could not let them gain that edge. If he needed to become a monster to defeat the grimm once and for all, so be it.

You see, the interesting thing of the technology used to keep the previous fall maiden alive was meant to transfer her power to one of the students Ozpin had selected. The process was meant to transfer her entire essences into one body, the power of the Maiden's paired with that of it's host.  
However, the machine never got the chance to be used. After Qrow killed Cinder, Amber was finally allowed the eternal sleep she deserved.

It wasn't until years later that the idea hit Ironwood when he was beginning to form his army. Why limit it to just the Maidens? If the machine could transfer a power such as the likes of a Seasonal Maiden, surely it could do the same for a normal huntsmen with their semblances and aura?

Ironwood walked into the chamber, a modified version of the Transfer pods lying in the center, a stream of scientists looking up and saluting him.

"Captain, Sir!" The head scientist, a man by the name of Kohlefaser "The Project has been going well so far, up to 7 semblances running in the subject, with him performing remarkably well in the field, using all of them to full use."

"Excellent…" Ironwood nodded. "Project Meta will give our friends quite the surprise…"

* * *

 **Omake: The Qrow's and the Schnee's**

Ozpin was at the end of his line. This was it. This was how it ended.

"After the actions of Ms. Xiao Long at Signal during the practice, parents are in an uproar Ozpin. You need to do something" Glynda Goodwitch yelled to him.

The headmaster let out a deep sigh. Ever since he let the senior students act as teacher for a day over at Singal to help them get a grasp on their approaching futures. However, one massive class of... _debauchery_ by a certain Yang Xiao Long left an angry herd of concerned parents over their horny teenage kids.

"Look Ozpin, it is our duty to teach them of the birds and the bees, so you have to do something" Glynda continued to lecture him, most of it droning out as usual.  
However, one bit caught his attention. "That's it the Glynda. We send our bird to teach them."

Glynda paled "Sir, that is quite possibly one of the worst decisions you have ever made. And you sent someone two whole years ahead into here along with another student with no previous combat skills, made them both leaders, and let several questionable staff and budgeting choices."

"There is nothing wrong with our coffee experience. And he'll be a great teacher. Better than Mr. Xaio Long, with his track record. Once again.

Entire.

Tea-"

* * *

Lone checked his window, shotgun at the ready to defend himself from any dark avian creatures that might want his flesh.

"The hell are you looking at?" Meep questioned the man

Lone shrugged. "Kinda expected something. Guess the joke kinda wore out."

"Like our reader's patience?"  
"EXACTLY!"

So no

* * *

Max was salty to say the least. He was fed up of his teacher David being so goddamn happy and BORING! Nothing ever fucking happened around here and it drove him nuts!

"Alright class, today we have a special guest, brought to us by the headmaster of Beacon himself! Who here's exciting, cause I sure as golly know I am!' David said, his optimism seeming to burn holes into the minds of many teens who personally would rather be back in their bed sleeping.

"Alright kids, due to Prof. Ozzy withholding my booze till I actually do this, I gotta teach you about one of the greatest things in the world because my eldest niece was pulled a Tai."

Neal's eyes lit up "Wait, are we gonna be studying theoretical physics such as string theory? I've been looking so forward to getting to that!"

"Nah, that's dumb Neal. Obviously we're learning how to kill a grimm with our teeth!" Nikki grinned.

"You're both wrong kiddos, though I might try that last one after a night on the town. Today, I'm gonna teach you about...the horizontal tango, the hokey pokey, the Yang Bang, dirty dancing, the no pants dance, plowing the field, to use your sword and sheath."

Max blinked. Everyone else in the class was lost, but Max caught onto every single one of Branwen's phrasing. "Are you fucking serious?!"

"Well, more like serious fucking, but you get the point."

Neal raised a hand "Um, I'm still lost. What are you teaching use about again?"

Qrow took a reach into his coat pocket and brought out his backup flask "I'm teaching you brats to fuck responsibly cause of my blonde niece."

To this, all the kids did what any teen would do when adults talk about the sex, exploding in a mixture of immature laughter and awkward nopes."

Now, first step. Avoid marriage at all cost. Trust me, condoms are your friend. You don't want to end up like Mr. Tai over here. Don't be a lame parent, be the cool irresponsible uncle or aunt."

* * *

Nikki walked out of the class, pumping her fist. "Best. Class. Ever."

"I am never touching people again. Screw all of that, or in this case, screw none of that! I'm gonna hide in my basement with my precious machines and become a hermit." Neal shuddered.

Max was still lost at words, only able to get out one, simple, crude sentence that could sum up his life.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"


	26. Chapter 23 Free Bird

**9 Months To Live**

 **Chapter 23:Free Bird**

 **Disclaimer:I just wanna… DANCE. LOOK AT ME I'M DANCING. SON OF A BITCH I'M DANCING! WATCH ME GO, WATCH ME-*cuts off midway and bolts towards the rights to RWBY, only to get tazed* GOD DAMNIT  
** **I don't own the rights to RWBY.**

 **AN: Well, excuse me while I get this out of my system.**

 **BALLS!**

 **Okay, good, that's all out. I was hit by a hurricane recently, my family dog passed away, and a bunch of other shit hit me in September (do you remember), so I had to put some of my stuff on hiatus, which a lot of RWBY content came out overtime, Volume 5 among one of them. My guess for things that's gonna happen? Tai is gonna die alone, wondering why he has so much bad luck as Qrow beaks into his fridge for a beer. I'm sorry about making you ladies, gents, and Schnees wait so long. But remember. Patience. It can be the key to victory, while other times you wondered why you waited so long...for something so disappointing. Now, speculation on the end by some, I ain't givin jack shit away. Enjoy that only, I the writer, in all my tom fuckery, know first.**

* * *

Junior was having an okay day. Business was slow, but with his recent investment in a frozen margarita machine for the summer, he was bound to get some customers. People go crazy over frozen stuff, as he justified his purchase to himself.

However, the slog of the day was interrupted by a large group of his men running in from the doors.

"What are you idiots doing back inside? I don't care how hot it is to be outside in summer in black suits, you got out there and advertise this place! You think your paychecks come from the Tooth Fairy?!"

One of the more veteran employees spoke up. "Boss, the scary blonde chick, ya know the one that nearly crushed your-

"I KNOW." Junior growled. It was still a sensitive subject with him. "What does she have to do with anything?"  
The bouncer gulped "She's coming. With friends."

Junior paled. Oh god, anything but that blonde demon! He went 3 years of not seeing her! He just recovered paying off all the damage she'd done last time, from ruining the dance floor, putting half his staff in the hospital including himself, breaking all of his windows, the burn marks that ruined some of the paint, and the booze she destroyed. Weirdest thing of all was a bird flying in and managing to get away with some of the stuff of the upper shelf. What would a crow even do with that much whiskey and vodka?!  
Okay, so maybe Junior made some, just a little shady deals. But only to save his club! After Torchwick got arrested, Junior actually ran a real business. For the most part.

Junior acted fast and steeled himself for the worst. "Don't even bother with the doors. Go out back and get the big guns. Only come out when if you hear fighting going on."

One person raised their hand "What would that sound like?"

Junior groaned internally. He really needed to raise the bar for his hiring standards. "It would sound like loud crashes followed by screams and grunts. Now GO!" He barked, the goons scurrying off to the back.

The Club Owner steeled himself for the worst, and gave his regards to his remaining testicle.

Just as he expected (and feared) a loud explosion knocked down his door, followed by an all too familiar voice hollering out "I'M BACKKKKKK!"

Yang strolled into the club, Blake and her father following close behind her. "Hey Junior, nice to see you remodeled."

"What do you want Blondie?" Junior growled. He was not in the mood for her games.

"Why Junior, is that anyway to greet a lady?" Yang said with a cheeky grin

"You're no lady, you're a demon who makes my life hell."

Tai looked over the scene playing out before him with a brow raised. He was completely lost on what was going on. He turned to Blake "Could you fill me in on how this bartender knows my daughter?"

"Yang broke in here right before she entered Beacon, interrogated him in...methods I don't feel comfortable telling you, then continued to destroy the club. She returned later during our first year with Neptune to slightly less violent results." Blake said as if was as casual sort of thing, which to be fair, with her partner, it kinda was.

"God damnit Yang." Tai muttered under his breath.

Meanwhile, Junior was trying his best not to show fear, but it seemed the demon could smell it on him. Then again, that might just be the nervous sweat he was in. "Look, let's get straight to the point. What do you want?"

Yang faked an offended look "Why Junior, all I want to know is if you done any dealing lately."

"Blondie, you know what I do. Of course I have." Junior rolled his eyes.

"Not the usual. Someone like Cinder, like Roman. This time a man who calls himself the Captain."

Junior eyes widened at this, somehow paling even more. "I-I-I don't know who you're talking about."

"Tell me Junior, what do I look like to you?"

"What?" The bar owner was caught off guard by the question.

"What do I look like to you?" Yang questioned again, playing the cute innocent persona again.

Junior knew this question. The question every man feared bar one.

"Well, I think you're a rather strong, independent, wom-"

"Do I look like a bitch?"

"What?"

"Because why are you trying to screw me over like one, Junior?" Yang growled, her eyes flashing red for a brief second.

Junior knew it was time to drop the facade. He couldn't afford to give up info. Not when the man made it clear how much was at risk when dealing with the enigma known as the Captain. "NOW!" He yelled, his men coming in, armed no longer with the old red machetes from years ago, but actual quality weapons, not quite on huntsmen level, but there was actual variety among them, from chainswords to what looked like a mix of a flamethrower and a nail gun.

Junior took this opportunity to bolt for it. Like hell he could win against them, Blondie fucked up the place 4 years ago when she was first going to combat school. Now she's a huntress with 2 others? Fuck that! His improved men might last as a better dirtraction at least.

Tai caught sight of the big man running for his life. "Do you two think you can handle this while I go catch what's his name?" he asked Yang and Blake.

Blake looked at the crowd surrounding them, closing in on them like a cat approaching it's prey. "Actually, some help would be-"

"We got it Dad! Just try not to pass out of old age when chasing after him." Yang cut off Blake.

"God damnit Yang." The cat faunus muttered as she pulled out Gambol Shroud, bracing herself for combat. Why didn't she go with Jaune and Weiss? She bet they were probably having a blast.

* * *

 _Raindrops keep falling on my head, keep ah falling on my head-_

Jaune and Weiss stood silently in the elevator up to the CTT, bland music playing softly in the background.

"So…" Jaune said slowly. "Nice weather we're having."

Weiss just scowled at the knight's pathetic attempt at small talk.

Working with team RWBY was no new experience to Jaune. Heck, more often than not, he and Ruby got the two teams to work together on grimm hunts for Beacon, but it was always Ruby to act as the medium between her own team and his. Weiss hated his guts, Jaune felt like he never even had a conversation with Blake before, and Yang...was Yang. So maybe sending his own team off with Pyrrha in charge to go find the Fall Maiden was not the best idea. Jaune meant no offense to Pyrrha, hell she was one of the reasons he hadn't been mauled to death by a grimm at this point, but he felt like he wasn't suited to manage a team like RWBY. It felt wrong.

"Quite sulking you dolt." Jaune looked up, Weiss snapping him out of his own thoughts.

"Sorry. Just had my mind on other things."

"We will find her. Then I will give her an earful of how worried she had all of us." Weiss stated as if it was fact. Jaune merely nodded.

"I know. But… I can't help but feel...I'm not fit to be leading this search party. It's my fault she got kidnaped in the first place-"

 **CRACK**

Jaune stood there rubbing his cheek, a red hand mark already forming. "Owwwww. I needed that."

Weiss crossed her arms and let out a huff. "Yes. Yes you did."

 _DING._

The elevator door slid open to the main floor, showing a man working a receptionist desk. The man looked up and saw the two walking towards him "Hello my dude and dudette! What brings you to my humble abode!"

"Hello-" Jaune paused and looked the name tag "Vic. Me and my friend here are wondering if we could have access to the Schnee shipping manuscript."

"No can do, amigo! Only people who can do that are Schnee's themselves!" Jaune looked at him in confusion. How did this man not know who Weiss was? How many people have white hair that young?!

Weiss raised her hand "I am Weiss Schnee, heiress to the company. I believe I have access to them."

Vic looked the Heiress in amazement "Woah! Well why didn't you just start with that, compadre! Here, let me get the key to you, then I'll just send you on your merry way!" and with that, he pushed his rolling chair over to a filing cabinet, rummaging through it then handing them the key card. "Here you go, just remember to return it amigo! Don't want a repeat of the last time I had someone not return a key. No-a-runo! I still remember those red and blue idiots running around"

Jaune and Weiss slowly backed away as the receptionist continued to ramble on about some lunatics in red and blue armor coming in and causing a whole list of episodic shenanigans.

Weiss blinked as they made their way over to a monitor "Well...that was-"

"-an experience. Let's go with that." Jaune finished. "Now, let's get to combing through that info, we'll be like junior detectives, like Sun and Neptune"

Weiss mentally groaned. "Please, like I would be as barbaric as those two."  
"Awh, but we even have the buddy cop dynamic!"  
"What?"

"Well, you're the grouchy experienced one with a cynical view on life, and I'm the fresh from academy new recruit that got partnered with you! Together, we'll clean the streets of Vale while discovering the mystery behind the tragic event that made you so jaded! "

"No. Just no." Weiss deadpanned. "Now start looking over the manuscripts, you dolt."

The two wasted no more time and starting looking through the information in front of them. Nothing seemed to out of the usual, but they couldn't afford to gloss over any detail, no matter how small.

However, one thing caught Jaune's attention. "Hey Weiss, can you do a background check on a Lee Patton? I got a feeling about this one…"

The heiress quickly typed it into the search bar, looking at the results "It's blank, and the CCT keeps records of all dust buyers to prevent it getting into the wrong hands. The only thing that came up was two famous military leaders from history, General Lee Scott and Doyle Patton…" Weiss said "And it doesn't help that the dust was shipped off to near an old base used in the Great War…"

"Weiss, I think we found our-"

 _Come at me, and you'll see, I'm more than meets the eye-_

Weiss looked at her buzzing scroll, a picture of Yang with the caption _Golden Girl_

Jaune looked at her with a raised brow. "Do I want to know?"

"Yang hijacked all of team's RWBY's scrolls and inputted her name different for each one and no one but her knows how to change it back. The original one was far worse." Weiss recalled, shuddering, then answering the call "Hello Yang. We found a lead how about you?"

" _Ah, well ya see, I-DO THAT AND THIS GAUNTLET WILL BE SHOVED SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU WILL TASTE THE DUST!- Kinda busy right now."_ Yang voice panted out, followed by a lot of background noise.

Weiss rubbed the bridge of her nose "You got into a fight and need me and Jaune to come and help the rest of you?"

" _That would be nice, yes. These assholes seemed to have improved since I've last been here. BLAKE, GET THE DJ! I HATE THIS SONG!"_

Jaune looked at Weiss as the call disconnected "We should probably go help them out."

"Do we have to?"  
"Weiss!"

"Oh, they're grown huntresses. They can handle it."

"Come on. Save a copy of the manuscript and let's go help them. We need to make sure we keep collateral down to a minimum. If Yang is anything like Nora, we might want to finish this before a building gets burned down. They still don't allow us into IHOP anymore..."

* * *

Qrow set raised his glass up, taking a long draw from the whiskey he ordered. Dear god he was not drunk enough to deal with his sister right now. "So, Raven."

"Qrow." She glared at him, her glass untouched, golden liquor touching the brim.

"Got Tai tinder as a joke about a month ago. That was hilarious

Raven rolled her eyes. Qrow was trying to annoy her, and while the blonde idiot attempting to get out there was hillarious to her, it was not the real reason why.

"What do you want, brother?" She snapped.

Qrow held his hands up in defense "Well excuse me for trying to tell you about how your remaining team's doing."

"What. Do. You. Want?" She gritted out, her patience running thin.

"Fine, but first, you gonna drink that?" Qrow asked, pointing to her still full glass.

Raven rolled her eyes. Her excuse of a brother was just as pathetic as he was when she last seen him, clinging to the bottle like some kind of security blanket. "Fine."

Qrow downed the whiskey in one long draw, slamming the shot glass down "How much do you know about Summer's daughter?"

"That she has her special eyes, and that makes her dangerous."

"Wouldn't really give being dangerous to her eyes, more her scythe skills from her teacher. But yes."

"Where are you going with this, you drunken bastard?"

"You do realize that calling me a bastard would make you a bi-"

Raven unsheathed an inch of her katana, the blade flashing in Qrow's eyes "Finish that sentence. See what happens. Now continue."

Qrow let out a sigh. "Well, long story short, she got kidnapped."

"And let me guess, Tai and you want me to help save his precious little daughter." Raven said with biting sarcasm "Sorry, just doesn't seem up my alley."

"Does the fact that she is the last thing of Summer STRQ has? Do those years mean anything to you? Oh wait, they don't, as you abandoned your family the moment the opportunity showed itself! Cause that's all Beacon was for you, a way to get stronger so you could lead your little bandit group!" Qrow yelled, his frustration showing

Raven slammed her fist on the table "I did not abandon my family! You turned your back on the flock when they needed us most!"

"They're a bunch of murderers and thieves, and you know that!" Qrow was at this point was standing straight up to his full towering height, glaring over her "Look, Raven, my niece is out there, the last of Summer's legacy, in the hands of Ironwood, and like hell am I gonna sit around and wait for your sorry ass to stop being an angsty piece of shit. Tai wanted your help, but now, I don't even think you're worth the time. You left your daughter, Tai, me, and Summer. And now, Raven, I'm leaving you." Qrow got up and stormed out the door, leaving the women by herself.

Raven looked at her reflection in the glass. She did what she had to do, right? The bandits needed a leader, and they raised her and Qrow. She couldn't turn her back on them, not when they took the two of them in off the streets, and Qrow wanted nothing to do with them, casting them aside like a diseased pet. She left Yang because she knew Tai was the better option for her, and she couldn't afford to raise a child in the environment the bandits. Only the strong could run with them, and she could not have her own daughter be brought into that life, having to fight everyday just to live. Her brother's little rant had brought up recent wounds, and it hurt...deep.

* * *

 _Raven stood in front of her daughter. "Hello Yang"_

 _The two met in the middle of the Beacon courtyard, the night giving them cover, It was time. Raven had been watching Yang in the shadows, proving her strength. She still had much to learn, but her power was indisputable. With her strength now, she could finally be close to her daughter without worrying for her health, without being able to show weakness._

 _Needless to say, Raven felt said strength as her daughter punched her right in the jaw, knocking her back a few. To be fair, she did kinda deserve that, not that she would ever say that._

" _WHY ARE YOU HERE!? Yang yelled, golden flames flickering off her locks, red eyes glaring into a twin pair._

" _I've come to make an offer." She said, dusting herself off as she picked herself up. "You learned a lot from your father, I see." Raven replied, rubbing her now bruised jaw._

" _Why. Are. You. Here?" Yang spat out, holding her combat stance._

" _Yang, I've been keeping away with you for your own good. I run a-"  
_ " _I know what you do. You run a band of murderers and thugs. If you harm anyone here, so help me-"_

" _I want you to join."_

 _This shocked Yang, her eyes returning to their normal lavender hue. "What?"_

" _Yang, there's a reason I left you and your father. That group...they raised me and your uncle. They needed a leader, and Qrow refused to help. So I did what I must. I left you with your father, and established myself as the new leader. I left you because I didn't want you to grow up the way I did, having to prove my strength, not showing any weakness, knowing that the slightest look of being vulnerable will having you being stabbed in the back. But you're strong enough now. You can join us, develop further, and I can finally have my daughter."_

" _But what about Ruby, Dad, my friends?" Yang asked. "Mom-no, Raven, what I'm getting at this is that you left your own daughter for a group of murderous scum of the earth who would backstab me the moment I even look like I'm weak? You left us, and now you want me to do the same? Leave behind Ruby, Dad, Blake, Weiss, and my life I have at Beacon? Just to spend time with a person who claims to be my mother?"_

 _Raven looked dumbfounded. This what not the result she thought would happen. Yang wanted to find her right? "I am your mothe-"_

" _Summer was more of a mother than you were ever for me. She wasn't in my life long, but she was in it more than you."_

 _Raven blinked, then changed her composure back to her more business like stance. "Very well daughter. You have made your decision." She said, putting back on her helmet, than slicing open a portal. "Farewell, Yang."_

 _Under the helmet, a single tear fell down Raven's cheek. That was all she could allow herself._

* * *

Raven felt hollow by the bitter memory. Judging by how Qrow had not mentioned it, it seemed Yang had decided to keep that little event to herself, which was good for the bandit leader. That was a moment of weakness on her part, and she could never be weak.

No matter the cost.

The weak died in this cruel world.

Only the strong can live.

* * *

Jaune and Weiss bolted near a club, both unfamiliar with the area, as they both never really found the club life that appealing.

"Think this is the right one?" Jaune asked, only to a man dressed in the same apparel Torchwick's goons fly straight out the window, moaning in pain as he hit the concrete.

"I believe so." Weiss deadpanned.

The knight rolled his eyes as he pulled out his sword, Weiss following suit with her rapier, then both walked in through the broken window, avoiding the sharp glass. The two were unsurprised by the scene that played before them. Yang was a blizzard of combos, combining her punches and kicks with deadly flair, with Blake helping to take down any she missed, but it was clear the the two needed help as the did seem rather tired, and the sheer number of thugs seemed to be overwhelming.

"Hey Yang. Blake. Where's your dad?" Jaune asked, hopping right into the action, blocking a cleaver with his shield then slamming into the guy's head.

"Oh, he went to go chase after the man we came for,

"So Jaune, on a side note, have you picked out any godparents yet?" Yang not so subtly asked as she uppercutted a goon in the face then slammed the poor soul's body back to the ground with a painful crunch.

"Really? You're doing this now? In the middle of a fight?" Jaune looked at her like she was crazy, bashing one of Junior's men with his shield.

"Well, I'm just saying that I would be the coolest godmother of all time."

Weiss snorted as she froze a several thugs "Please Yang, we all know you lack the maturity and responsibility to be godparent. Besides, we all know that I'm an obvious candidate. They would be spoiled by their Aunt Weiss and her wonderful gifts."

Jaune moaned "Oh great, you too Weiss? Blake, please don't tell me you're in on this."  
"They would get regular visits to Menagerie. The beaches there are quite lovely." The cat faunus said.

Jaune's eye twitched. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" He yelled, violently bashing the pommel of his sword against one particular thug that had been charging at him from the behind. "We are in the middle of a fight, can't this wait?"

"You're one to talk. As I recall during the Vytal Festival our freshman year, you broke up your team's fight to complain about attack names." Blake pointed out

"FLOWER POWER SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!" He yelled out in frustration, lashing out on the closest goon to him. "Where is Pyrrha to agree with me when I need her?"

* * *

Pyrrha Nikos let out a sneeze.

"You okay Pyrrha?" Ren questioned his temporary leader "I have a drink that might help if you're coming down with a cold"

"I'm good!" Pyrrha answered quickly, fearing what sort of foul tasting beverage he had. "Just felt a little off, that's all."

"Ya know, I wonder when the fall maiden's gonna show up." Nora pondered out loud, her boredom beginning to show.

"Nora, I highly doubt someone such as the fall maiden would just make herself known."  
"Not with that attitude, silly!"

Pyrrha rubbed her temples together. Oobleck had gone off the trail for a bit, claiming he saw some old bits of archeology he wanted to check out, and said for them to press on. Now, they were just walking. But at least she and Oobleck both knew how to read a map, because it would have been far worse if they were lost. She couldn't help but wonder how Jaune was doing? Was he saving Ruby? Or what if he was in danger? Or…

No, there was no point in worrying over him. Jaune was not the same person he was when he first came to Beacon. He was a hunter, like each and every one of them. True, he wasn't the strongest, nor the most skilled, and he could be oblivious at times...so...very...oblivious... But he was now independent. He didn't need her anymore.

"Thinking about our fearless leader again, Pyrrha?" Nora appeared right in front of Nora, cutting off her thoughts.

"Well, um...no, well.." She said, her face as red as her hair.

"Look, don't sweat it. Jaune will always be there for us, just like we're there for him. Besides, between you and me, I still think he'll do something stupid without us there to stop him. Remember that time you broke your spear fighting that big manticore grimm and wanted Jaune to melt it down to help with his weapons since his birthday was pretty close?"

"He wanted to make it so the scabbard turned into an attachment to his sword."

"And you were there to kindly tell him it was a stupid idea since I already have all the strength this team needs! But what did you do with the rest of your old spear?" Nora questioned.

"Oh, I sent it back to my parents. They always do like trophies from my fights." Pyrrha said

Ren raised a hand "As touching as this is, we really should get back to looking for the maiden. Time is of the essence."

* * *

Jaune looked as the fight finally came to a close. Truth be told, it was clear Ironwood had some hand here. Junior's men were no soldiers, but there was definitely a presence of basic training that raised the difficulty of the situation. Not enough training to be used for major fights but enough that if it they could overwhelm a huntsmen if they were reckless. It was at this moment Tai came through the front door, a Tai'd up ( **AN: Lone Punderer strikes again** ) Junior slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Oh come on, did I miss all the action?" The father groaned as he threw Junior at Yang's feet. "Anyway, here he is Yang. Make dad proud and interrogate him sweetie."

Yang grinned darkly as she ripped the duct tape off of Junior's mouth "Now Junior, don't you know it's rude to leave a lady unsatisfied? Now. The Captain. Talk. Or I complete the set." She threatened, cracking her knuckles.

Junior did what any man would do at the threat of not being a man. He sung like a canary.

* * *

Tyrian approached his lady with shallow steps, shame and fear dominating his face.

"Tyrian… what brings you here?" Salem said slowly.

"M-my Lady…" the scorpion psycho stuttered "I'm sorry to say that I failed you. I wanted to bring you the head of the cursed bird, but his sister arrived and assisted him, cutting off my tail in the process. But I-"

Salem, cut off the servant "Tryian...What were your orders?"

"To sabotage and make Ironwood pay for his arrogance against you, your majesty."

"Good, now tell me, what is Ironwood doing?"

Tryian's face fell "Well, I…"

"Does he know have fear of defying me?"

"No, I…"

"So tell me, insect, what did you hope to achieve by going after Ozpin's bird? To anger him? Instead, you brought his sister right to him, and crippled yourself in the process."

Tyrian was shaking, barely holding himself together. He just wanted to please his goddess… Tyrian was a good servant, was he not? "My lady, I only wished to get the thorn out of your side that ruined your last plan-"

"Cinder fell because she got cocky. She strayed from my vision, and because of this, she's dead. Nothing more, nothing less. So what did you go and do, Tyrian?"

"My lady, I-"

"What. Did. You. Do." She emphasized. "And please, do not make me repeat myself again."

"I...disobeyed your orders…" the insane faunus replied like a small child being caught in the act "But only because I thought it would be a great benefit to you!"

"I know. And because of this, you shall stay alive and in my employment. But do not fail me again Tryian." Salem said with a dark undertone to it. "Now, go to Watts. He should be able to supply you a new tail. And do try not to lose this one. I have a mission for you soon, my pet..."

* * *

 **Omake: All loose ends Tai'd up.**

Tai was feeling depressed. His life was always kinda rough. First, Raven left him to raise Yang by himself, but then there was the saving grace known as Summer, and Ruby brought even more life. Then she passed away, and for some time, he was stuck in a depression. If not for his little girls, he would have probably decayed away a long time ago.

Then, when he sent his kids off to Beacon, he was paranoid. His girls were his lifeline, but his days from Beacon had been safe enough, well, besides getting thrown out windows by Raven for reasons he'd rather not say, but he felt comfort in the fact that his children would be safe.

Then, the fall happened. His eldest child had lost her arm and partner abandoned her, and Ruby left to god knows where on a dangerous journey with what looked liked a ninja, some crazy ginger ranting about sloths and pancakes, and some other kid who's kinda girlfriend had died at the breach, with hopes of saving Remnant.

When did all this bad luck starting happening to him? He had an amazing childhood, was one of the best in his class in signal, great with the ladies, but that all changed when he made it to Beacon. For some reason, every single bit of bad luck had seemed to radiate towards him. His weapons would break randomly, he'd lose his homework, and dear god his love life had become a downward spiral. It was like he was cursed or something.

Tai's wallowing was cut off as he heard something rummaging around in the kitchen. The hunter's training kicked in, adopting a combat stance and slowly walking towards the kitchen. There, looting his way through HIS fridge, was Qrow.

"Hey Tai. What shelf is your beer on?" The man said nonchalantly.

"Why did you break into the house? You have a key!"

"Lost it. Besides, it was only one window. Now what shelf?"

"Top one, way in the back."

"Thank you" Qrow said, popping the top off the beer bottle. "So, whatcha doing, blondie?"

"Just thinking about how my luck really sucks."

Qrow took a long drain of his beer then set it down. "Sounds like a you problem." He replied,

"No seriously, my luck fucking sucks! Look at my life, I'm a single father of 2 daughters, both from different women, the only one who gives me remotely any help raising them is you of all people, no offense."

"None taken."

"And now Yang lost an arm and Ruby's off on dangerous journey to Haven, of all places, and we both know Lionheart is a huge pussy."

"Well, did you ever think that maybe you did something to piss off someone to give you bad luck?" Qrow said, almost in an accusing manner.

"What makes you say that? I mean, look at me."

"Well, I'm done for now." The drunk said as he held his now empty beer bottle, getting up and heading out the door.

Tai looked at him "You just got here, why are you leaving?"

"My job here is done for today." Qrow replied in a cryptic tone, a smug grin on his face as he threw his empty bottle with much finesse into the trash can, making it.

"What does that mean?"

"Try to figure it out, though I doubt you'll get lucky and find out." The Branwen sniggered at his own joke. _That's what you get for sleeping with my sister than taking Summer, ya dick._ Qrow thought to himself as he went out the door, Tai's screams following him as certainly something bad had happened to him.


	27. Chapter 24: 7 Deadly Sins

**9 Months to Live**

 **Chapter 24: 7 Deadly Sins**

 **Disclaimer: *Bursts into the room* I found it! I found the rights to RWBY! I DID IT!**

 **Meep: Lone, that's just a some poor farm boi that you left out of the story. You're piss drunk.  
Lone: whatthefuuuuuckyoutalkingabout-*Passes out on the floor.*  
Do not own the rights to RWBY.**

 **AN: Well, Thank you all very much for your feedback as usual and sorry for the long wait. Turns out Final Fantasy 7 is on phones and I had to try that out and that practically took my writing time. Damn you RPGs with addicting gameplay and interesting stories! Also; Volume 5! As now tradition, I give my two sense on the episodes out so far. Ruby beats up a little kid, then Ozpin beats up a little girl, Raven makes a grave mistake kidnapping Weiss, as Jacques is more likely pay her not to return Weiss, Blake is an idiot (rant for a later day) and her parents are awesome, Yang punches so hard she sends people into looney toons physics, Lionheart is into BDSM while Watts watches, and in other breaking news, Adam is a dick. and Ilia… well, Idubbz says it best, and Weiss gets the Pyrrha Nikos experience of being impaled by Cinder to make Jaune and Ruby more interesting characters. Now, I've already answered any Volume 5 related questions that might pop up in my Update over on the RWBY Amino app (my username is exactly the same. Much original. Such wow.) So yeah.**  
 **and now without much further ado,**

 ***swan dives out the window, receiving a perfect 10 across the board***

* * *

Emerald wasn't doing this. She couldn't be doing this.

But she was, and by god if he made one sly comment, she'd shove that cane right up his pompous little ass, even if she had to fight the insane midget.

She set up the private line, casted an illusion for the camera, and locked the door, and pressed dial on her scroll. A bit of paranoia, yes, but if she was doing what she was planning, she needed this to be on the down low as long as possible from the Jackass.

The call connected by the 3rd ring.

" _Why, what brings a girl like you to call me? Mommy isn't home till at least three and you haven't called since the divorce. How is it going Emerald? Impress your new boss yet? Got that shiny new promotion? Or made fun of no legged orphan boy?"_

Emerald groaned "Hello Roman." She said, trying her hardest to force the pleasantries out of her. "Look, can I ask you a fav- fuck it. I hate you, you hate me. So let's just cut the bullshit."

Roman clicked his tongue. " _Straightforward. I like it! So tell me, what is it that I have, that you want? Cause I ain't giving away my dashing good looks."_

Emerald braced herself "Tell me old man-"

" _Old man? I'm barely over 30, you little-"_

"You've had a run in with Red's friends, haven't you?"

Roman paused for a bit. " _I had an encounter recently, yes."_

"I can't help but notice that you haven't reported it to the Captain"

" _Look, my business is mine alone, and he his little reports and shove them right up his a-"_

"Good."

" _What?"_

"Look Roman, we've gone over this. Me and Mercury both don't want to do this. Mercury hates the guy, and...I have my reasons." Emerald said cautiously. "So I need your help coming up with a plan to get us out."

" _That's not gonna be easy Em._ " The mob boss sighed across the phone line " _You're both very recognizable people, or at least to the dangerous ones."_

Emerald tensed herself for this part, as this was going to be the hard part. "It's not just me and Mercury… in fact, we're not the primary ones we want out of the Captain's grasp."  
" _So who do you want me to smuggle? The ghost of Cinder?"_ Roman asked sarcastically.

"Ruby Rose."

Emerald could almost hear Roman's blood pressure rising. " _HELL NO! I just got my hide tanned by her little friends because she got herself kidnapped and I had no idea where she was, much less even knew she was! Now you're telling me not only do you know where she, but you want me to help lead the rescue plan to save the person responsible for landing me in jail!?"_

Emerald cringed back "Essentially, yes?"

" _What's your angle in this. The Emerald I know is a spiteful little shit, not a goody two shoes. Little Red getting to you?"_

"The Captain crossed a line. Turns out the kid is pregnant-"  
" _Sweet Jesus, he raped her?!"_

"Would you let me finish my sentence? She was pregnant before the kidnaping, dipshit."  
" _Wait, so that means that Box Top...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH GOD, THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!"_

Emerald was lost as to why the gangster found the situation funny. Who was "Box Top"?

"Look, the Captain wants to use Red's kids for...something. He's always been vague to us on this kind of thing." Emerald stated, then thought _Cinder was the same way with her plans. I bet the heroes never have this kind of trouble._

* * *

Professor Ozpin felt a strange sense of smug coming over him.

Glynda looked over to the headmaster "Ozpin, why are you smiling?"

"Am I not allowed to smile?"

"Yes, but that is your _I just launched the freshmen off a cliff into a dangerous forest and one of them definitely has no previous training or even a landing strategy_ smile."

"I have no such smile." Ozpin said, sipping his coffee, a small smirk on his lips. "Besides, when was the last time anyone heard of a headmaster of a school of higher learning showing such blatant disregard of his students?"

* * *

Meanwhile, in a entire different world, in a dimension quite similar to our own, but a bit more magical, Professor Dumbledore let out a sneeze - ( **AN: Okay, I'll stop.** )

* * *

Roman snorted _"Well, at least he has some brains."_

"What does that mean?" Emerald growled.

" _You don't see me telling my goons about my plans on cutting their paychecks?"_

"Oh, screw you, me and Mercury are more than some simple solders."

 _"Exactly. So find out more first than report back to me."_ And with that, Roman hung up.

Emerald looked at the scroll, letting a groan escape her. "God damn it Red."

* * *

Ruby was not giving up easily. She had at this point had 5 escape attempts, knee'd several guards in the groin enough to make Yang proud, and was still holding onto hope.

The Captain was trying to rob her of that. She knew that much. Well, if he thought he could just kidnap her and her unborn children, then he was poorly misinformed.

Since they obviously wanted her children, the Captain had made clear orders not to physically harm her, as to avoid causes problems in the pregnancy. Ruby figured this out after the third time she slammed into the person handing her the food tray and they did not retaliate.

She, of course, has made ample use out of this one command.

"Quite the ruckus you been giving my men, Ms. Rose."

Ruby turned to see the person in question standing in front of her cell.

"Ms Rose, I realize that I may have not made the best first impression on you."

"Gee, you break into my home, beat up my sister, burn it to the ground, and kidnap me. Really making yourself out there."

"Yes, but it was the most forward way we had at the time to get to you." The Captain said. "Tell me, Ms Rose, how much do you know about the grimm, about Ozpin?"

"What does Professor Ozpin have to do with any of this? Why me?"

"All in due time." The Captain spoke. "First I must tell you the truth. The Grimm have a master, named Salem. She was behind Cinder, and she is planning something, something big. The defeat of one of her favorite pawns angered her. I believe that your children could be the heroes needed to defeat her. The combination of the silver eyes and the vast aura reserves of the Arc family would be a deadly presence on the battlefield."

Ruby blinked. Salem? Cinder? She recalled when Qrow had killed Cinder, how while everyone was celebrated him as a hero, he seemed on edge, like this was just the beginning, and now it made since. But why was she doing this? Why did this man so dead set on using her children. "Why, why do you want to make my babies into weapons for some war that's not even here or may never come."

"Because unlike Ozpin, I will not wait for Salem to strike first. I will not let hundreds of innocents die before we can raise an army that might, _might,_ be able to defeat her. You and Mr Arc's children may be part of the key to defeating her."

"Why do you hate Ozpin so much, who are you?"

The Captain paused for a moment, then took off his hood. "My name is James Ironwood, and I have lost everything following Ozpin. I have had my body ruined to the grimm, my rank and status stripped from me, and I have seen where Ozpin's leadership ends. I follow him no more, and make my own path. You can choose to follow too, Ms Rose, or rot in the cell while Ozpin leads your friends to ruin." Ironwood proclaimed. "Make your choice soon, Ms Rose. War is coming. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but Salem will come for humanity, and I doubt Ozpin will lead it to victory."

* * *

"What do you see?"

Sun looked up from the small telescope, glaring at Neptune. Team SSSN and Glynda had managed to track down the location of the Summer Maiden, as she was currently being held down by a group of what seemed like pirates, hired according to Glynda by either Ironwood or Salem, as both seemed to be able to contain someone one that level of power a maiden packs. So they decided to play it smart, and scout out the area, rather to Sun's usual method of charging in and getting it done.

Sun needless to say, was quickly learning that patience was a virtue he sorely lacked.

"You asked me this 5 minutes ago Neptune. They're doing that same thing they've been doing for the past 5 minutes. They're just standing there, talking!" He gritted out as quietly as he could.

Neptune returned his scowl "Well, excuse me for being curious, as I'm not the one with the telescope! You could just give it to me…"

"No. Leader gets the telescope."

"Not if he's never there with his team…" Neptune muttered under his breath.

"Look, I said I'm sorry!" Sun put down the telescope, looking the blue haired hunter "So why don't you and the rest of the guys just drop it?!"

"We did the first dozen times you did it! You always leave us to ourselves every time the opportunity presents itself, especially with Blake involved. Whatever happened to Bros before ho-"

* * *

Blake suddenly violently sneezed, while Weiss managed to sniffle a cough.

"Why do I get the feeling someone blonde we know said something stupid?" Blake said, than glared at Yang

"What?" She held her arms up in confusion. "Why do you just assume it's me?"

"Because you're you."

Yang shrugged "You got me there."

* * *

Sun glared at the blue haired hunter. "Why are you even here?" He questioned Neptune

"To cover your monkey ass."

"Who said my lovely ass needs covering?"

"The fact that you always seem to find trouble, cause you have the attention span of a flea."  
"Look, just shut up!" Sun yelled at him.

"What was that?"

Sun and Neptune both looked at one another and uttered a single word as probably half the pirate camp headed towards their not so hidden anymore hiding place. "Shit."

However, the monkey faunus thought fast "Call Goodwitch, get her to get Sage and Scarlett over here. Tell her that her plan sucked and we're going with mine."

"You mean the _Let's just beat their heads in and charge in head first_ kind of plan?"

Sun spun his gun chucks around, swinging them around his neck "Well, when you say it like that, it sounds stupid."

"CAUSE IT IS STUPID? HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET MADE LEADER AGAIN?"

"Because of my dashing good looks?"

"If that was the requirement, than it would at the very least be a democracy." Neptune said as he cocked his gun.

"Bet I can get knock out more goons than you."

"Challenge accepted monkey boy."

With that, Sun and Neptune found themselves surrounded by a dozen seafaring bandits.

The leader of the group, a large man with a majestic beard with hints of grey in it, and dust crystals embroidered into it. "Well, well, well, wha-"

"What do we have here?" Sun finished the man's sentence. "Did you have to open with the most cliche line there is? I mean what next, when we beat you, you're gonna say something along the lines of _I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids and your stupid leader too_? Jeez, you here one villain, you hear them all."

The leader scowled deeply at Sun "Well, I was gonna barter with ya and have you work for your freedom, depending on your reasons fir being here, but now...now I'm just gonna kill ya." he said, pulling out an intimidating cutlass, then lead the charge at the two.

A group of pirates closed in on them, Sun acted quickly, shifting his gunchucks to their staff form, spinning it around at in rapid succession, hitting the circle of goons. Neptune shifted his gun to it's trident form, using it to break the lesser quality weapons and taze the ones attacking him.

"You just had to open your mouth." The blue haired huntsmen glared at the leader.

"Hey, I thought I might try talking our way out of it."

"In what world is that talking our way out it? They weren't gonna kill us, now they are!"

Sun rolled his eyes. "Oh hush and start fighting. Wanna use the Sea Monkey?"

Neptune grumbled as he punched a goon's teeth out. "Fine. Let's just get this over with."

The two acted fast, making quick work of the goons. However, the leader, a man they believe to be Barabus Sangreed, raised his arm. Or the giant cannon where one should have been, as from the elbow down it was a giant steel gun, aimed at the good looking gents.

Sun couldn't help but "You have gun arm? That is so co-"

 _ **BOOM**_

"SON OF A BITCH, I THINK THAT BURNED OFF SOME OF MY TAIL HAIR YOU ASSHOLE!" Sun yelped as he quickly dodged the cannon fire. "So, tell me Captian Ginger pupes-"

"IT'S BLOODBEARD YA MONKEY GIT" Barabus roared as he continued firing at Sun, little disregard given as his missed shots hit some of his crew.

"You know, I have a friend kinda like you, red hair, pirate motif, calls me a git from time to time. However, lot less fat and definitely easier to look at. Seriously, it has to be a semblance to be that ugly."

A sword stopped mid air, less than an inch away from Sun's face. The monkey leader turned around to see Glynda Goodwitch, riding crop raised, with Sage and Scarlett joining into the fray.

"Thank you Ms. G!" Sun called out, receiving a scowl in return.

"Shut up Mr Wu Kong." She growled as she wiped her crop back, sending a whole wave of unfortunate thugs flying to the right. "Go save the maiden, we finish this up."

Barabus looked up from the wall he fell into "What makes you think a wee lass like yourself stands a chance against us?"

Glynda fixed her glasses "God, I have been stuck with the equivalent of frat boys and their pointless bickering and stupidity for the past 3 days. And now, you think I should be afraid of you? No, if anyone it should feel fear, it should be you…"

It might have been a trick of light, but Barabus saw nothing but a merciless glint of the glasses on her face, hiding eyes of a person losing their shit. He made one quick note. Never trust a suit with a stache that good. He's man enough to grow facial hair, but doesn't have the balls to go all the way with a beard. "I ain't afraid of naughty teacher out of 'er element." He said, trying to bluff his victory.

"Tell me, how about I give you a real beard of blood after I rip your's off?" Glynda spoke quickly, raising her crop.

Barabus paled several shades. "Awh shit."

* * *

Sun looked under the deck to find what he assumed was the Summer maiden, gagged and bound, struggling in her bonds.

Sun smiled. Time to be the dashing hero. Cutting the ropes with one of the cutlasses dropped by the thugs, Sun looked at the lady, a woman about 3 to 4 years older than him. She had long blonde hair, similar to Yang's, but much straighter, and had a solid tan to her, marked by many days in the sun, and was wearing clothes meant for warm weather with hunter gear mixed into the mix, with her right shoulder having a spaulder across it.

"There you go, you'r-" Sun started, but was cut off as the Summer maiden bashed her head against his dazing the monkey faunus.

"OW! Son of a bitch, that hurt!"

"I will be your prisoner no more! I am the Summer Maiden, and I will not be held hostage any longer!" The woman growled out, grabby the cutlass Sun dropped and pointing it at him.

Sun held his hands up in surrender "Look lady, we came to rescue you! We're not with those assholes!"

The maiden lowered the sword and flipped her mood in an instant "Well, why didn't you just say so? You with the Academy?"

"Yup." Sun replied, rubbing his surely now bruised forehead. "Why don't we go up deck? I'm sure Ms G would explain it better than I could."

* * *

"The Olympian Fortress. That's where they have her."

Jaune, team WBY, Tai, and a returning Qrow stood in Ozpin's office.

Jaune looked over a picture of the fort pulled up on the big screen. "The base being used by Ironwood was that of an old fortress from the Great War, one that was thought destroyed beyond use. However, with the info from Junior and the dust transcripts me and Weiss got, we determined that Ironwood had renovated the place."

"I remember reading about that when I was studying at home" Weiss spoke up. "The Olympian Fortress was built in the cave of a mountain in Atlas, and was primarily used in the Great War. However, after a particularly bloody conflict, the structure supporting the frames where deemed to weak, and most of the fort had caved in."

The headmaster nodded "Very good Ms. Schnee. However, it seemed that Ironwood had made the base a bit of back up plan, as it turned out that during his time as General of the Atlesian fleet, he'd worked on restoring the Olympian Fortress to its former glory and beyond."

This made things difficult. Jaune had no idea what the fort had in terms of weapons or man power. The only thing they had were dust records and a location. But it was all they had.

"So, Professor, I was thinking-"

Ozpin's held a weird expression on his face. "Mr Arc, I would like to congratulate your motley crew on getting this information. But with recent information from Qrow, I've decided it would be in the best of our interests to focus on locating the maidens."

Jaune blinked "What do you mean, we already have teams looking for them, why do we need more?"

"One of Salem's servants attacked Qrow. They're getting bolder, taking more action. Not only that, the Summer Maiden would have been in Salem's hands if team SSSN been a day later in their rescue. We need to find the maidens now, as much as it pains me. Ms Rose is not the primary objective."

Team WBY looked shocked at this, Jaune and Yang both furious, the latter being the first to make it vocal

"And you expect us to go searching for some random girl while my sister is alone with some traitor who'd exprimate on her?" Yang lashed out.

"Ms Xiao Long, I know this is a hard thing to do, but we are in a war. Sacrifices must be made."

"This isn't a sacrifice." Blake said quietly "A sacrifice has a choice to lay their life. This is leaving your own to die. Ruby is one of the brightest huntresses of our year, and this is how much you care?"

"Students, please understand the stakes here."

"The longer we wait, the more Ruby is at risk, that's the only thing at stake here" Jaune said. "We attack the fort, get Sun and his team, my team and family to help us and we get Ruby back!"  
"Mr Arc, as much as it pains me to say, we cannot let up the search for the maidens. Salem will take this as a moment to strike, so we can't leave them defenseless. We cannot relive them of their search to aid you in a reckless plan to save Ms Rose. We must find the rest of the maidens before further action."  
Jaune slammed his fist down on Ozpin's desk, causing it to crack. "AND YOU WANT US TO JUST STAND HERE WHILE THEY DO GOD KNOWS WHAT TO RUBY?!"

"Mr Arc, calm down!"

"No, I will not calm down! Ruby and my children are stuck with some crazed military leader, being used for her eyes, and you want us rather than go after the bastard behind it, to search for the Maidens!?"  
"We cannot allow Salem to get the maidens."

"I don't give a damn about the maidens! Maybe Ironwood had a reason to betray you." Jaune spat out.

The headmaster's eyes widened in shock, but then turned cold. Ozpin stood up. "Out of my office."

"What?"

"Out of my office. Now, Arc." The headmaster said darkly.

Jaune glared at the headmaster for another second, the two exchanging looks, than he left, the rest of them following the knight.

* * *

The elevator ride down was a very tense one. No one spoke a word.

Even when they reached the bottom floor, Jaune just stood there, hands on his head, looking at the ground. Raising his head, he saw everyone looking at him.

"What's the plan, Vomit Boy?" Yang spoke up.

"Now." Jaune said "Now, we save Ruby."

* * *

Sun hung up the scroll, everyone looking at him.

"So what now?" Scarlet asked, voicing the main concern.

The monkey faunus was a simple man. He knew the smart thing to do would be to listen to Ozpin, and get the maiden to them. But, Sun was never one for the smart option. Life isn't fun without a little stupid decisions. "Well, normally we would go straight to Ozpin, but a good friend of mine needs to rescue his girlfriend, and they need all the firepower they can get."

Neptune stood up "Wait, so you want to go running off into some dangerous situation, disobey the words of headmaster, and go into odds that would basically get you killed?"

Sun looked at his team, who was agreeing with Neptune "Guys" He said taking a deep breath "I'm an asshole. And probably one of the worst leaders of our generation. I run off and leave you all behind when the mood suits me. But now, there's something bigger than us. So yeah, I'm gonna go to Jaune and them. But I'm not doing it to impress some girl, not doing it for the fun of it, I'm doing it to help my friends. Now who's with me!?"

Sage, Scarlett, and Neptune all looked at each other, nodded, than went to their leader.

"Oh, thank you guys so much-OW!" Sun yelped out as the rest of team SSSN punched him in the arm. "What was that for?"

"That was for running out on us so many times. But we're with you."

Sun grinned as he rubbed his arm, than turned to Glynda "So, are you gonna try and stop us, or..."

Glynda let out a sigh "Throughout my years at Beacon, I've felt I was the only adult in the entire teaching staff. Ozpin heart is good, but he is not always right. I will not stand by and let one of students be held captive by James. Besides, I have a few choice words I would like to say to him anyway."

Sole let out a light cough "Um, no offense, but how exactly do you plan to get to your friends? We're sorta halfway across the world?"

Sun looked at the airship, the gleaming wood and metal seeming to call to him. They needed to get back to the others, and it would be a shame to just let this thing go to waste…

"No, Mr Wu Kong." Glynda said.

"But we have to get to the others, and do you have a faster method?"

"This is a vehicle that was used for criminal activities!"

"You just don't want to be in a pirate ship. Let's have it go for a vote. All in order of commandeering the airship over using a regular boat to get back? One that would have us be in...water, per say?"

Neptune hand shot up immediately at the mention of not going in the ocean, and Scarlet looked like christmas came early for him.  
"You kidding! I wanted to be a pirate since I was a lad!" The red haired hunter squealed in excitement.

Sage finally raised his hand in agreement "I get the distinct feeling I need to make sure you idiots don't get killed by diving headfirst into something you idiots didn't think through."

"Well, it's settled then!" Sun grinned as he picked up the red coat the captain had been wearing and threw it over his shoulders, wearing it in a cape like fashion. "Gentleman, Ms G, Sole, I hereby commandeer this here airship for the huntsmen, and rename it the Nimbus! Now let's do this and take this baby on a journey to the east!" The monkey faunus yelled out, grinning as he slid along one of the masts. "Scarlet, take the wheel, Sage, man the ropes, Neptune, be our navigator, Ms. G, could use please use your semblance thing to adjust the masts, and Sole, can use your maiden powers to create a draft towards our destination?"

"Gladly, monkey boy" The maiden replied happily.

"HEY!" Sun yelled. "That's Captain Monkey Boy to you!"

* * *

 **Omake: The great Schneeme**

"YOU KIDNAPPED HER?"

Raven held her hands up in defense. "Now Yang, you need to understand, the Schnees are a very rich family, the amount of money we can earn from ransoming her to her father is more than we could make in months of pillaging…"

Weiss glared at the leader of the bandits "There is no way she'll agree to this, right Yang?"

"YANG?"

The blonde held up a hand "Now let's here the woman out Weiss Cream."

"SHE. KIDNAPED ME!"

"Just imagine the amount of lien we can swindle from your dad! I could get my arm some new features. I could get my own wifi. My own wifi, Weiss!"

"She left you as a child! This woman is gonna pawn me off like some piece of jewelry!"

"Actually," Raven interjected "It would come with it's own benefits. If you so wish, we could steal you back from Mr Frosty Pringles as soon as we get our lien. We could even offer you a cut."

"There is no way I am doing this!" Weiss fumed.

Yang placed her real arm on the Schnee's shoulder. "Weiss, just think, with that money, we could use it to buy more dust, or noise cancelling headphones that you've been wanting since the first week at Beacon. Plus, I really want my robot arm to get some of the newer functions they offer. Mama needs the vibrate function."

"YANG!"

"For devastating attacks, of course!"

Raven and Weiss both let out a sigh "Oh thank god that's where you were going with that."

"What do you think I would use it for?" Yang asked, curious

"Don't ask." Raven stated. She successfully avoided giving any stupid birds and bees talk, and she intended not to talk about... _things_ with her spawn. The only thing she regretted on that was not seeing Tai trying desperately to explain puberty to two little girls. Maybe next time she ran into her brother she can see if he filmed it.

"So you in?" Raven asked, extending their hand.

* * *

Ruby was shocked to see Weiss and Yang. Oh god, her sister…  
"Yang…" She started, the waterworks beginning "I'm so sor-"

The blonde brawler cut her off, giving her a massive hug. "I missed you Ruby."

Weiss let out an awkward cough as the heartwarming scene played out. The sisters looked at the Schnee then nodded at one another. "Get in here, Weiss Cream!"

It said the Schnee's heart grew three sizes that day, as Weiss entered the hug. She hadn't felt this welcome since… since… she honestly couldn't remember.

However, all this was cut off as Yang's arm started vibrating

Ruby's eyes widened "Sis, does your new arm have a vibrate function! But that costs an arm and a le- I mean a small fortune!" She questioned, inspecting the robot limb "how did you get the money for that?"

Yang gave a shit eating grin to Weiss, who's heart had shrunk down six sizes on the spot, imploding into a black hole which no human emotion could escape from

"Well, you see-" Yang started.

"Don't. Ask." Weiss gritted out.


	28. April Fools 2 Electric Boogaloo

**9 Months to Live**

 **Chapter 25ish: What is Love?**

 **Disclaimer: SOMEBODY once told me I don't own the right to RWBY.**

 **AN: Guys, I have to be real here. It's getting harder and harder for me to update this, and it pains me to say that it's getting harder to make these chapters. So I've linked this video I made to fully go into detail of why I will be going on hiatus, maybe forever on this fic, after this chapter. I insist that you check this link before reading, as it's absolutely vital that you check it out, as it gives insight to a lot of things.**

 **youtube /watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ**

* * *

Oscar stood, facing Lionheart, the clash of steel resonated within the hall as Salem's forces clashed with our heroes. The young farm boi glared at the cowardly traitor.

"You don't understand why I did what I did. You don't understand, the power she has, the utter

"You bring shame to all headmasters. I will beat you way Ozpin teached me, his signature method!"

"You don't mean-" Lionheart, his hands going towards his pocket.

"A children's card game! Loser gets their mind crushed!" Oscar yelled, pulling out his deck of duel monsters.

Jaune looked at Oscar and the headmaster, the two playing what looked like a children's card game, Lionheart using some sort of battle circle on his wrist. "Why do I suddenly want to talk in a brooklyn accent...nyeh." The man blinked. "Ren what do you think?"

"My voice gives me super strength!"Jaune blinked and looked at Ren, question the purple dinosaur like voice he just heard. "Ren, you okay buddy?"

"Yes. Why?" Ren came in his normal voice.

"No reason."

" _Oscar…_ "

The former farmer looked to see the ghostly image of Ozpin standing beside him.

" _Let me take control. I can beat Lionheart."_

Oscar rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, you always get the spotlight. I feel like the sidekick!"

" _That's cause you are."_

"Well, talk like that, and I don't want to let use my body."

" _I'll let you use my credit card latter."_

"Deal!" Oscar said, as a glow of light surrounded him.

" _ **SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME ULTRA SPECIAL SUPER SEXY TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE!"**_

The boy opened his eyes, revealing the golden glow of Ozpin's eyes, and Oscar's usual patched pants replaced with that of tight black leather pants. "Hello Leo"

The cowardly headmaster flinched at the familiar voice. "Ozpin?

"You literally did everything I told you not to do. Joined Salem, let the huntsmen under your command get killed, and became a giant pussy." Ozpin growled "For this, I will humiliate you in a children's card game! I summon the White Eyes Blue Wyvern in attack mode, and place a trap card face down!"

Lionheart looked at his cards. "Well done Ozpin, I see you haven't changed a bit despite being inside a little boy. However, you're predictable as always! I summon my Deadly Heretic in attack mode and go for your White Eyes!"

Ozpin grinned. "Just like I planned! You activated my trap card, The Spanish Inquisition! Your Heretic is sent to the graveyard, and you lose 500 health points!"

"What!? Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" Lionheart screamed as his health count begin to drop.

Meanwhile, Weiss looked over from her deadly battle with that screaming oaf high on dust, the boot sniffer, and Emerald, to see that strange farm peasant playing a children's card game with the headmaster of Haven. "Um, guys, what on earth are the farmer and the Professor Lionheart doing?"

"They're playing a children's card game to decide the outcome of this battle." Jaune blinked "Why don't they fight like the rest of us? Why should the rest of us be risking our lives while those two get to play some cruddy card game?"Ruby turned her head, completely ignoring Emerald, who had her guns raised at her. "A cruddy card game? Weiss, the children's card game requires a level of expertise far beyond us children! They are playing a game that will determine the outcome of this fight."

Weiss looked back to the two duelists, then rolled up her sleeves."I'm just gonna summon my giant knight to kick that guy's ass."

Jaune looked at the Schnee in horror "Weiss, you can't do that! That's against the rules!"

Weiss glared at Jaune. "Screw the rules I have money." She grinned as the rune circle appeared behind Lionheart. "I summon my White Knight."

Lionheart had him on the ropes. One more turn and he'd have Ozpin's soul, and finally be free of Salem! "It's over Ozpin! HAHAHAHAHAHA-why'd it get so dark all of a sudden?" Lionheart question as he looked behind him to see he was standing in the shadow of a towering knight made of ice. "Well...shit."

"Time to put you on Ice!" Weiss quipped with poor delivery.

"Boo!" Ruby yelled.

"That sucked!" Nora yelled

"It needs work" Ren stated calmly.

* * *

Oscar let out a sigh "Ozpin's pretty tired, but he says… to go to Atlas next."

Weiss threw her hands "THAT'S IT! I FUCKING QUIT!"

"No Weiss! Why?" Ruby called out.

"I AM NOT GOING BACK TO THE VERY PLACE I TRIED SO HARD TO GET AWAY! I HAVE BEEN STUCK IN A PLANE WITH SOME ASSHOLE PIRATE, FOUGHT AGAINST GIANT BEES ONLY TO STILL GET SHOT OUT OF THE SKY, THEN KIDNAPED BY SOMEONE'S MOTHER" Weiss yelled, pointing at Yang."If it helps, I hate her just as much, if not more." She shrugged.

"No it doesn't thank you very much" Weiss continued on in her rant "But then, after my freedom, I find out that low and behold, my sister isn't in Haven, she left! And now I'm wrapped up into some crazy evil that our deceased headmaster, who's inside the body of some peasant farmer-"

"Hey!"

"-Is a reincarnated fairy tail character who gave 4 ladies ultimate power and thought nothing would go wrong, then it turns out, our host was a traitor, and because the dolt just had to let himself get toyed with by the lady who killed Pyrrha, because yeah, the best in our year got killed by her, surely the person who didn't even know what aura was 5 months ago would stand a chance!"

Jaune looked rather sheepish "Kinda dumb in hindsight. But hey, at least none of us died this time?"

Weiss's eyes flared "I got fucking impaled! Have you been impaled? IT FUCKING SUCKS! I saw my life flash before my eyes, and I regret everything! Years of my life spent being my dad's puppet, being the child of a loveless marriage where dear old mom turns to the bottle, while dad only pretends to care when there's a camera out! AND YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK!"

Blake spoke up "Weiss, sometimes you need to confront your past-"

Weiss turned on her heels to face the faunus "YOU! Well if it isn't the pot call kettle black! Do not talking me about the past! You talked so much about how you wanted to settle your past, with some crap about your ex boyfriend, who stabbed you and cut off Yang's arm! Then, rather than stick with the people who sacrificed themselves for your well being, you run away to your home! I was essentially kidnaped by my father, and I was able to make it here faster than you! Had you come sooner, rather than being a brooding adolescent, maybe I wouldn't have gotten impaled! When we first met, I accused the White Fang of being liars, thieves and murders. AND I WAS RIGHT. You've lied to us time after time, the chameleon girl you brought with you apparently stole from you, and your ex kills people!""

"Weiss, come on, I know you're still kinda mad and slightly dazed from blood loss after being impaled" Ruby chimed in, trying to defuse the angry Schnee.

"AND YOU!" at this point, you could see the smoke rising from Weiss's ears, her face flushed red with rage. "YOU! YOU!"

Yang let out a low whistle. "Wow. I think Weiss Cream's rage broke."

* * *

Mercury bolted as fast as he could, Hazel holding an unconscious Emerald as the the three where joined by that edgy faunus leader. Mercury looked at him. "Let me guess, you're plans didn't work out too?"

"NO!" He sniffed stubbornly.

"Really?"

"no…"

Hazel growled "This is lovely and all, but we need to get going. Especially since somebody decided to keep an arm."

Mercury pointed the robot hand at the giant. "Hey, Blondie just left it! You don't see me leaving my legs all over the place! So it's gonna be my new back scratcher!"

Adam meanwhile whistled nonchalantly, quickly putting two and two together on who just might own that robot arm.

Mercury turned, using the arm as a pointer, looking at Adam "So, what's your story Edgy the Faunus?"

"My name is Adam, you human scum!"

"Look, it looks like we're on the same boat here pal, so you might as well tell me how your end of the stick went horribly wrong."

Adam rolled his eyes behind his mask "Fine. I guess I can educate you humans…"

 _5 minutes later._

"I just don't get why she won't take me back!" Adam sobbed into Hazel's chest, getting snot all over his shirt.

"There, there buddy." Mercury said, patting his back. "Now tell me, when did you begin to start with this unusual behavior?""Well, I wanted her to notice me more, so I got this book to help me improve my relationship with her."

Mercury nodded. "And what was this book?"

Adam pulled something out his jacket "Here, I carry it around wherever I go, it's so full of helpful tips."

Mercury looked at the cover

 _How to train your Cat, Pet Owners Edition._

"Step One, show your authority, punish bad behavior, Adam, you do realize that-" Mercury paused for a minute till an idea hit him. "You know what, you just keep doing what you're doing. Go for it man."

Qrow held an bottle of booze as he hit the bar. He has not looking forward to going to Atlas. He had to see Jimmy, and god damn did he hate the military smug bastard. Seriously, that man had to be compensating for something with all his big solider toys Qrow mused to himself as he swirled his glass. Only bright side was he got to mess with Jimmy's top officer, Ice Queen Sr.

He was already thinking of how to announce his presence to her. Maybe turn into a bird, perch on her windowsill then scare the daylights out of her by shifting back. Or send that picture he took of her little sister when shot got impaled.

Oh god, that would be hilarious! Almost as funny as that time he pranked Raven and framed it on Tai! Not only was it funny to see his sister walking around with all her clothes dyed hot pink, but it was even better that he managed to dye her hair pink, which somehow even made her bird form the same color! And to get even, Raven had someone tattoo a pink middle finger on Tai's right asscheek. And to make it even better, they still don't know it was him behind it!

"Uncle Qrow, watch's doing?" Ruby asked as she skipped over to where Qrow was drinking.

The hunter let out a chuckle. "Oh, just thinking of how I might try some old tricks on an... acquaintance of mine."

"You're gonna prank Weiss's older sister aren't?"

"Oh maliciously."

"With the picture of her getting stabbed by Cinder?"

"I've taught you well."

Winter has having a rough day. With Ironwood piling more work on her with the recent tensions building in Atlas, the fact her sister was missing and her father just seemed to be crying crocodile tears to the media while mother drank herself to oblivion while her little shit of a brother was being such a perfect puppet she wouldn't be surprised to find Father's hand up his ass. But it was better, as she still managed to find peace for a few brief moments.

However, her attention was caught by a buzz from her scroll. Turning, she looked to see a message with a picture attached to it from a contact labeled _Sexy Bird Daddy._

Winter gritted her teeth together, feeling her blood pressure rising. How on earth that brain dead alcoholic mess of a huntsmen ever got his grimy hands on her scroll, let alone into it to input his contact info was beyond her. However, Winter looked at the message.

 _Kiddo's having a blast! She had some trouble at first, but at least she didn't miss the point of coming here!_

Winter raised a brow. "What does he mean by-OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!"

 **EDIT 4/2/2018: APRIL FOOLS MOTHERF*KERS! Ah, I would never just leave this incompleted. This story is my child, as I am it's irresponsible parent who it needs up raising me more than I raise it. As for the actual next chapter, it's almost done. I've been busy with ofher stuff and just haven't had the time to write much. But I can garuntee that the next chapter will be out by this month. As for this, well, first time it's a mistake. Second time it's tradition.**


	29. Chapter 25 Shoot to Thrill

**9 Months To Live**

 **Chapter 25: Shoot to Thrill**

 **Disclaimer: Maybe if I gamble Miles and Kerry for the rights to RWBY I'll get them!  
*Shows up nearly naked one hour later* Turns out I suck at strip poker, kinda gambled my editor's soul, and still don't own RWBY. Rooster Teeth does.**

 **AN: Good grief am I slow to updating this. Well, you see *Insert lame excuse here* The last real chapter was back when Volume 5 was still going which ended to a load of meh. Also, how salty are you lot from my April Fools chapter?**

 **Geez, people seem to think I had Ozpin out of character a bit or had him doing manipulation games. I understand the claims, but hear me out, Ozpin is a soul who experienced a thousand lives, a thousands failures, and outlived anyone he might have cared about dearly. Anyone who has been through that will become desensitized pretty god damn quick to the bonds of humanity. But that's just my take on it.**

 **Raven is not the spring maiden. I repeat, Mother of the year IS NOT the spring maiden. Not. The. Spring. Maiden.  
Updating From Dust We Are Born? Truth be told, I have plans for it. But I'm busy with writing other things, so I'll update that when I finally get time and motivation to work on it.**

 **Now, without further ado, onto the next chapter *Sits normally in a chair* What, thought I was gonna jump out the window? What kind of madman do you take me for? WHICH YOU WOULD BE RIGHT! *pushes button, exploding the window then riding the chair out of it***

* * *

Jaune grinned as an airship slowly descended. Sun stood at the on top one of the mast waving back with a smile plastered on his face.

"HELLO JAUNEY BOY! HEARD YOU NEEDED A RIDE!" The monkey faunus yelled down to the motley group.

The group wasted no time boarding the stole- _borrowed_ aircraft. The reunion of the two groups was short, Sun tried a pickup line on Blake, she utterly ignored it, Neptune and Weiss seemed to have an icey meeting, and the rest exchange familiarities. Jaune himself walked up to the new member team SSN had rescued.

"So, you're the summer maiden." Jaune said, looking at Sole.

"So, you're kinda scrawny." She replied. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were stating the obvious."

"I am not that scrawny! Right?" He said turning to Yang and Sun for support.

They both shrugged their shoulders "Ehhhhh…" The fellow blondes stated before sliding off.

Jaune scowled, but then turned back to the maiden in question. "Sorry about that. I'm not the best at first impressions."  
"I can tell."

"But I would like to ask you for your help. Team SSSN may have explained to you the whole reason why we saved you, to protect you from Salem"

Sole shrugged "Eh, might as well. That old geezer never lets me do anything. Having magical powers and such kinda suck when you never get to use them often. Seriously, you think someone like the maidens would be at the forefront of the fighting."  
Glynda cleared her throat. "Alright, enough questioning the obvious. Ms Sole, we know we're for the most part complete strangers to you, but we are trying to rescue Ms Rose, a young huntress, pregnant with two, who has been captured by the former General of the Atlas military, James Ironwood and being held in his base, Olympian fort, a former military outpost located in one of Atlas' mountains. So what is our plan of rescue?"

Jaune rubbed his temples. "We need to analyze our resources first. Sun, what's the capabilities of this ship?"

"Well, judging by Scarlet's check on inventory, we have a couple light cannons probably meant to slow other ships, some crates of stolen dust below deck, and a couple pieces of armor and weapons. As for the Nimbus, she seems to be an old model airship, mainly built for speed, but judging by the reinforced hull, she can probably take a couple light cannons or artillery."

Jaune nodded his head "Do you think we can make it?"

Sun looked to his team "Guys, what do you think?"  
"I'd think we're gonna get blow out of the sky the moment we get close." Sage deadpanned.

"Gotta agree, _The Nimbus_ may be fast, but she can't outrun the kind of artillery we're talking about."

Sun and Yang looked at one another, than exchanged words in hushed whispers, then nodded and high fived. "We have an idea." They said, grinning like lunatics.

Blake rubbed her temples. "Why do I instantly hate where this is going?"

"Wait," Jaune said "Let's see where this is going. Those two often have a knack for entrances."

"Damn skippy!" The blondes replied, Sun turning to Yang. "Why don't you start off with the plan?"

Yang grinned "My pleasure monkey boy. Now, Weiss Cream, how much can your runes effect?"

"Well, I can impact larger objects, around roughly the size of a-no" Weiss said, the realization dawning on her.

 _ **"YES!"**_ Yang and Sun yelled.

Jaune looked at the two questionably. "We'll keep that as plan C."

"What's A and B?" Blake asked

"Anything but what those two have in mind." Jaune deadpanned, but than shook his head. He had more important things to focus on. Looking at the makeshift meeting room they had made in one of the multiple rooms in the airship, Jaune set a hand down on the table. Clearing his throat, Jaune begin to his review. "Okay, let's first start with what we know and what we have. We have teams SSSN and WBY, Sole the summer maiden, Professor Goodwitch, Mr. Xiao Long, and Qrow-"

The drunk interrupted "Hey, don't you mean something like Mr Qrow, or Mr Branwen, or even Professor Branwen? I'm an adult!"

Tai snorted "No you're not."

Yang shrugged in agreement. "Kinda gotta agree with Dad here, Uncle Qrow. You aren't exactly the poster child of responsibility or maturity."

"Pffft, I am both of those things."  
"Then what about that time you broke Weiss's sister's robots just

"Both of you, silent. Let Mr. Arc discuss this plan and settle this dispute later." Glynda warned, brandishing her riding crop, as both Tai, Yang, and Qrow seemed to cringe back in fear.

Jaune quickly picked up where he left off "Well, to be frank, our numbers suck. We may all be certified huntsmen and huntresses, but Ironwood has a certified army, and we don't even know where Ruby is."

"Then why don't we get someone we know to help us out?" Qrow chuckled. "Get your scroll out, we have a call to make."

* * *

Roman rolled his eyes as he saw his scroll ringing. Great, what asshat wanted him this time? The walking talking Napoleon Complex, Boxtop, or the kids calling to talk to him after the divorce, or maybe it was his men going on strike because they were just as tired as this bullshit as he was? Last time that happened, he had to sent Neo to take care of it, and the blood stains never did quiet get out of the carpet.

God, he needed a vacation. Maybe go to the beach. Or New Valegas. That sounded just right for him, the slots, suckers with fat wallets to spend it on at a blackjack table…, him and Neo making a right fortune…

However, his little fantasy was cut short as he picked up the scroll. "Hello, this is Alex Delarge, how may I help you today?" He spoke into the speaker, his voice dripping of sarcasm.

"Hello Torchwick." Spoke Jaune.

"Boxtop! Just the kid playing dress up I was looking for!"

"We known where Ruby is. We-"

"Need my help, got it." Torchwick cut him off. "Look, I'm gonna say it as it is. A certain colleague of mine wants to break Little Red out as well, so would you look at the odds of that?!." He stated sacraticly. Emerald wanted to free Little Red? Fine, she can get the whole merry band of goody two shoe idiots to help her.

On the other side, Jaune and the rest of the colorful crew looked up optimistically. Leave it to Ruby to make a friend in the most dangerous of places. However, Qrow spoke out "How can we trust this friend of yours, Limpdick?"

Roman cringed as he heard the drunk talk up "Well, would I ever lie to a person like you?"

"Yes." A whole chorus of people spoke.

The criminal rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm still the only connection you goody two shoes have! So my accomplice can be trusted. If I go to the fort, I should be able to get Red out of her cell, but first off, I want to know I ain't risking my neck for no reason."

"How about we don't go over and throw you in jail right now?" Tai growled.

"You see, Mr Stranger, I can do no good for you in jail. You need me, plus the deal I made with Box Top and his boss. As long as I stay out of your affairs, you stay out of mine, capche?"

"We're getting nowhere arguing." Jaune said "We need to focus on rescuing Ruby."

"Well, at least someone has their mind on business. So, as I was thinking, I have parts of a plan. Me, Neo and my accomplice can break her out of her cell, but there will be alot of attention, and no way in hell can my pretty little face fight that many armed jocks with guns. So I simply require a little distraction. I can trust you heroes to make some big spectacle out of something?"

Yang cracked her knuckles. "Sounds like my kind of time." she grinned.

"How long do you think you have till you're at the fort?"

"I'd say about anywhere between 2 days to a week. Till then, Boxtop, Ladies, Gentlemen, Ice Queen."

Weiss raised a hand "HEY!"

"He already hung up Weiss." Blake deadpanned.

"So," Jaune said "We have to go fight off a small army next week. Anyone got any ideas?"

Goodwitch spoke up "Mr Arc, with the occupation of this airship, I'd recommend you collect certain assets that might be vital for the success of this mission."  
"Excuse me what?"

Tai slapped his face. "She means go and pick up your own team. God he is dense."

Yang chuckled "Oh you have no idea dad"

* * *

The mission for finding the fall maiden had been one dead end after the next, and it was beginning to tax the group. Jaune might not have been the best leader, but he was definitely more suited for the role than Pyrrha. The girl groaned as they continued marching down the forest path, packs on their back. Ren was slowly becoming less patient with Nora as she became more and more frustrated and bored with the traveling, and Oobleck was not much help. When Pyrrha had been put to the sidelines and not made leader of team JNPR, most people were shocked, but she was glad. It was this kind of stress she was glad she never had to deal with. But Oobleck's words haunted her from the previous night.

What was she fighting for?

Beacon was an escape for her, a chance to get off the pedestal. She could be a normal girl among her peers, and JNPR was just that, despite it's unusual members. But now...she was a 3rd wheel. Ren and Nora had each other, and Jaune had Ruby. She wasn't on her pedestal, yet she felt just as lonely as her days in the arena.  
Oobleck came back to the group. "Well, my friends, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, your friends have managed to track down the Summer Maiden and secure her protection, and have pinned down the location of our friend Ms Rose!"

"YAY!" Nora yelled, causing the stoic ninja next to her to cringe at the loud burst right in his ear.

Oobleck continued "Unfortunately, Ms Rose is located within a heavy armed fortress with a small army behind it."

"Awhhhhh."

"Now, our orders from the Headmaster is to find the fall maiden with utmost urgency for this urgent matter!" Oobleck fixed his glasses up the bridge of his nose "HOWEVER! I will give the option to go free Ms Rose! I understand she is a dear friend to you all, and I will not hold it against you to abandon this mission to save Ms Rose. Had I been thrust into your situation, I would no doubt do the same, but I must remain on the hunt for the Maiden!"

Nora's eyes lit up "JUST POINT ME AT EM AND I'LL BREAK THEIR LEGS!"

Ren placed a hand on the energetic ginger's shoulder "Nora, calm down. We need to know everything before coming to that conclusion."

"Mr Lie is right!" Oobleck exclaimed in his usual fashion. "Now, Mr Arc is on his way, along with the rest of this rescue party in an airship that the team SSSN has come into possession of, and they need an answer of who will be willing to help them on their goal."

"I'd think the answer is rather obvious" Nora put her hands on his hip

"It's not that easy Nora." Ren pointed out. "We're in the middle of vital mission to find the Fall Maiden. We can't just abandon Oobleck to go save Ruby."

"Mr Lie is right!" Oobleck agreeded. "While I may be a seasoned hunter- don't laugh Ms. Valkyrie, I am- I am only one huntsmen

"I'll stay." Pyrrha spoke.

Both Nora and Ren turned around to face the former champion. "Wait, what?" Nora vocally questioned.

"I'll stay" Pyrrha stated calmly. "Someone needs to stay with Oobleck, and you two both would be more help than me."

"But Pyrrha, you're a total badass!" Nora whined, Oobleck glaring at her for her choice of language. "I mean, with your semblance, you can literally open a can of whoop ass a mile away on them!"

"Look, one of us needs to stay with Oobleck, and we both know that wherever one of you goes, the other is bound to follow. I'd feel better knowing you to had each other's back."

* * *

About a half hour later, the party looked up to see a large airship sporting a black flag with a yellow cloud poorly spray painted onto it, getting it's landing gear out as it's engines begin to whir off.

To none of team JNPR's surprise, their leader bolted off the ship and emptied the contents of his stomach near a bush.

Quickly recovering, Jaune turned to his team, a weak smile on his face. "God, it is good to see you guys." He said, giving them all a hug.

"Good to see you to fearless leader!" Nora said, returning it with a bone crushing hug.

"How have you been holding up?" Ren asked.

"I'll feel a lot better when we get Ruby back."

Pyrrha gave an awkward small smile. "I do hope you succeed in you mission."

Jaune looked at the champion with concern "Are you sure about this Pyrrha? You're not gonna have a team backing you up, it could be dangerous."

"Jaune, what you need to do is to save Ruby as soon as possible. She needs you right now more than ever. I'll be just fine on my own. After all, I am one of the best fighters in our year. I'll be fine, and I have Oobleck with me."

The knight gave one last look at her, seeing something that almost looked like regret. "Alright Pyrrha. But if you feel in over your head, you get yourself out of there with Oobleck, okay?"

She nodded. "Now get on that airship Jaune. You have to tell the story about it later when you get Ruby."

* * *

Tai looked at Qrow, who was letting loose a smile at a photo he held in his hand. Out of his own curiosity, Tai looked over, expecting to see a picture of team STQR in their prime, but was shocked to see instead a picture of a lady who looked a whole lot like Weiss, expect older. "Isn't that Weiss's older sister? The one who you share a deep bond of hatred towards one another with?"

Qrow elbowed Tai "Hey, mind your own business Spray Tan!"  
Tai rolled his eyes. "You're 37, why are you so embarrassed? What is she, your girlfriend?"

"Try wife."

Tai spat out a drink he didn't even know he had. "Excuse me, Whaaaaaaa?"

Qrow rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, remember when I took that vacation down Las Valegas after I killed that terrorist lady at the Vytal Festival 4 years ago?"

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, turns out they sent Winter to keep an eye on me, make sure I stay out of trouble, not like I needed it."

"Qrow, your semblance is bad luck and you went to a town that's main appeal is gambling. I'm surprised you didn't get lynched."

The drunk snorted "Pfft, they can try. But I digress, me and her got into a fight, which I might have mentioned something along the lines of a sheltered snowflake like her couldn't hold her liquor. Next thing we woke up in the same bed butt naked with wedding rings on our fingers."

Tai paused for a minute "So, you're telling me you got Ruby's teammate's sister drunk then had a Valegas wedding with both of you hammered? Why are you still even married?!"

Qrow blushed a bit, turning away. "Well, after we talked like adults…"

"You mean yelled at each other and made a scene." Tai interjected

"We came to an understanding, and decided to give it a shot."

Tai slapped Qrow on the back. "Well congratulations buddy. My only regret is that I wasn't there to see you tell her father."  
The booze loving veteran hunterman let out a sheepish look. "Yeah, about that…"

"Oh my god, you two haven't told him yet." Tai started laughing with much force, so much so that he fell to the floor, cackling at his friend's misfortune.  
"Mr. Branwen, Mr Xiao Long, we're nearing our-" Weiss entered the room and looked in confusion "What is going on?"

Qrow scratched the back of his head nervously "Nothing that concerns you Ice Queen Jr, now go back up deck."

"BUT IT MIGHT SOON!" Tai cackled out, slamming his fist on the ground, the situation adding more to his amusement.

Weiss glared at the scene "I take back every mean thing I said to Ruby" She muttered "With idiots like these raising her it's a miracle she didn't turn out worse."

Tai looked up at her "Hey! What does that mean?"

* * *

Raven sighed as she looked at the stone

 _Summer Rose_

 _Thus Kindly I Scatter._

Raven took a deep breath. "Hello you naive fool." She said, her voice holding none of it's usually venom. "This is a first for me. I'm sure Tai has been here multiple times, and my idiot brother is probably drunk himself to oblivion here."

The bandit chief paused "Why am I even here? I don't care for the dead, and I never cared for you and your whole goody two shoes ideals." Raven sighed. "You know, I hated you. I still do. I hated the fact you were made leader. I hate the fact that you were born in a cushy life with your power while me and Qrow had to shed blood sweat and tears for survival. But the thing I hate most is when you tried to get me to come back to Tai and my daughter. 'Why?' You yelled at me. Well, I guess I'll finally give you the answer. I woke up and realized I'd become the very thing me and Qrow vowed to destroy for our tribe. I was so deep in I lost who I was. I was no longer Raven Branwen, I was a puppet to Ozpin, a member of some group of naive kids wanting to be heroes in a cruel world, and...and...a mother. How could I go so far as to be a huntsmen, a wife, a mother? I woke up one day and saw I couldn't recognize myself.

When I heard that the Branwen tribe's leader had fallen ill, I took that as my excuse to leave. I left. I ran, leaving my daughter and husband behind. I didn't fit into this picture, so why try anymore. I'd reached my original goal, I was strong enough to kill any huntsmen that would be send to defeat us."

She paused for a moment. "I really did love Tai. He could be the most brain dead idiot, full of himself, and was not afraid to say the most assholish things. I actually stopped one night with the intention of seeing Yang. But, I looked in the window, and saw you and Tai, holding a baby girl with your silver eyes, and Yang looking like the happiest older sister in the world. You two were almost made for each other, the two loving huntsmen raising a family to protect the future. I felt no place in that warm picture. There was no place for a bandit chieftess in that home. Besides, with all your damn naiveness proved to be the one thing I couldn't. A mother.

"Why did I come here again?" Raven questioned. "Maybe it's to convince myself of what I'm about to do next. Maybe it's because Qrow was right. But either way Summer, your daughter will be freed, but after this, I will cut my ties with the rest."  
Raven got up and slashed open a portal, looking at the tombstone one last time. "Goodbye, Summer Rose."

* * *

Jaune hung up the scroll, finishing his call with his parents. "Good news, my family is coming. Bad news, they're gonna be a while. Dad said they had to stop at home and pick some things up. Now, according to Roman and his contact, the Olympian Fort is heavily fortified, with anti aircraft cannons mounted in the front, and on top of that, Ironwood also possess a small army, and a larger one of Atleisian Robots."

"Joel is right." Qrow remarked. "Jimmy has a hard on for his tin toys, and knowing him, he probably made some upgrades to those hunks of junk over the year, and I don't mean it has a better camera and they removed the audio jack."

"What Qrow is trying to say is don't expect an easy fight." Tai said. "So keep a level head and don't go in yelling like a maniac."

"This still doesn't cover how we're getting into the fort." Blake said.

"I agree." Weiss looked at the planning board. "The fort's guarded by the knights on the ground, missiles and an air fleet of it's own, and it's not gonna be easy, and I still don't trust Torchwick to fully go through with his side of the deal."

Yang and Sun whistled non nonchalantly. "There's still plan C." Sun said.

"I mean, it's not like we have a better plan at the moment." Yang added.

"God damn it Yang, we went over this, it's a horrible idea!" Tai nagged.

Jaune rubbed his brow. "I hate to say it... but...It's the best idea we have at the moment."

Weiss and Glynda's jaws both hung open. "How about any other option?" The Schnee heiress pleaded.

Sun and Yang high fived. "SAGE! GET MY SCROLL HOOKED UP TO THE PA SYSTEM! WE GOT SHIT TO DO!"

Jaune was pretty sure if he wasn't already struggling to keep the contents of his stomach in, he would be nausea now.'Well, here's your rescue Ruby' Jaune thought as the airship began to lurch forward 'here's hoping we don't get shot down at the front door.'

* * *

Ironwood stood in the middle of the crisis room of the fort. "What is it?"

"Sir, we come to tell you that an object moving at incredibly high speeds in heading towards the fort." One of the officers behind a monitor replied.

"So, they sent a missile at us? This place is built to last. It will take more than that."

"Sir, it's not a missle. It's much too large."

Ironwood blinked. "What do you mean."

"Sir, closer recon appears it to be a small airship, it's even sending us a broadcast...sir you may not want to hear it."

"Put it on." Ironwood growled.

"Sir, I really don't think you need to hear it-"  
"I said put it on, soldier, do not make me repeat myself again."  
The officer hesitated for a second, then flicked the switch. The speakers were overrun by an electric guitar rift, music echoing throughout the control room as the lyrics begin to play.

 _All you women who want a man on the street_

 _Don't know which way you wanna turn_

 _Just keep coming_

 _And put your hand out to me_

 _Cause I'm the one that's gonna make you burn._

"What is this?" Ironwood yelled.

"I believe it's an old classic rock song, AC/DC's Shoot to Thrill." The man behind the monitor remarked. "I myself am more of a Guns and Roses kind of guy."  
"NOT THE SONG, THE SHIP!"

Jaune felt like his stomach was gonna kill him. The ship was rocketing at insanely high speeds. "Sun, you sure you can get this and must you play music while doing this?" He questioned nervously.

The monkey faunus flashed an insane grin. "Yes to both, as making an appearance is half the fight. If we go in like we own the place, imagine how the soldiers will react! They'll piss themselves at our sheer awesomeness!" Sun gave Yang a high five who grinned in agreement. "Now, hand me the intercom." He beamed. "I need to get deliver our message."

 _I'm gonna take you down_

"Sir, message from the ship." One man said.

"Patch them in." Ironwood said.

" _Is this thing on? To the dickwad who goes by Ironwood. You took Ruby Rose. We're her friends. We'll give you this one chance to release her before we kick your ass so hard you're gonna have to replace it with metal!"_

The captain blinked. "You are dealing with forces you do not understand, boy."

" _Is it about Salem? Cause we ain't scared of a woman so lonely she spends her days talking to grimm."_

Ironwood gritted his teeth. He recognized the voice as Sun Wukong, the annoying leader of team SSSN of Haven academy, most notable for his ability to abandon his team on a whim. If he was a betting man, he'd say Mr Arc and the rest of Ms Rose's friends and family where on that ship, probably with some plan on rescuing her from him. "

"Open fire on that ship, now!"

Neptune looked up from the monitors. "Sun, we got missile firing at us!"

Sun nodded "Scarlet, keep the speed and dodge the missiles, Weiss, keep up the acceleration runes. Sage, Nora, Yang, get those cannons firing on those missiles. Goodwitch, can you try to counteract some of the missiles with your riding crop thingy?"

 _So don't you fool around_

 _I'm gonna pull it, pull the trigger!_

The cannons fired off with a resounding boom, sending a barrage of missiles spiraling towards the ship. _The Nimbus_ quickled spun, missing about half of them, ducking and weaving with a grace and speed akin to a fully experienced hunter in combat. However, one missile combusted seeming to hit it's mark, causing the others to explode, leaving a dark cloud of fire and smoke.

"Excellent.." Ironwood said, letting a small smile crossed his face. He did not like those to so easily defy him.

"Sir, you might wanna look…"

Like a rocket, the Nimbus shot out of the explosion, seemingly untouched.

Sun was roaring like a madman from the bridge "EAT A COCK IRONBITCH!" He yelled as the ship continued forward "Scarlet, great job there bud!"

"Thanks mate! Thank you Ms Goodwitch for the cover!"

 _SHOOT TO THRILL, PLAY TO KILL_

 _TOO MANY WOMEN WITH TOO MANY PILLS_

 _SHOOT TO THRILL, PLAY TO KILL_

 _I GOT MY GUN AT THE READY GONNA FIRE AT WILL_

"Sir, all shots have missed. The ship is approaching us with no sign of stopping. Should we send our own fleet of ships?"

Ironwood paused for a moment. "No, we do not waste anymore of our real fire power on them. Get our riot patrol ready and ready the steel army. I do not wish to kill them, but they will die if they continue forward."

"Even the Paladins?"

"Yes."

* * *

The Nimbus, using one of neighboring mountains for cover, hovered in place. Sun looked over to the large group heading into the fray, all of them ready for a war.

Nora was wearing metal plating topped with a helmet with metal wings spreading from it, making her look like the warrior of her surname, Ren with his weapon, the Jade Dragons, strapped to his hips with an intimidating bow slung across his back, with a quiver of trick arrows. Yang went simple, donning a leather coat to help with the cold, with a gun belt of extra shots for Ember Celica fastened around her hip, Blake wearing an all black apparel, save for a small white symbol on her sleeve of the old White Fang insigma on her sleeve. Weiss had taken a similar outfit to her elder sister, but stylized to her own taste, with vial of dust present in the small bag she had. Tai and Qrow remained mostly the same, only difference was Tai now held his weapon, a brutal looking set of brass knuckles.

Jaune himself stood near the drop bay, Ruby's cloak billowing in the harsh mountain wind. The new armor he got from his parents did him well, and with his gun on one side and his sword on the other, Jaune felt ready. Ready to save Ruby, ready to save his kids.

Sun quickly yelled over the wind "Alright, you guys know the plan! Jump out, save Ruby, kick Ironwood's ass, and get out of there with the girl! Got it!?"

The drop team rolled their eyes. "YES MOM"  
"Nuh uh uh, none of the sass! Now go out there and kick some ass!" The monkey faunus yelled out, and the team dropped down, one by one, Yang going first, then Blake, Weiss, Tai, Qrow, leaving the remainder of Jaune's team.

"You have improved your landing strategy, right?" Ren looked to the Arc in concern.

"Oh come on, I've gotten alot better since freshman year, you both know this!" Jaune glared.

"Alright then, I got this!" Nora grinned, and the next thing Jaune knew Nora had picked him up.

"Wait, Nora put me down, this is a horrible ideAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He screamed as the ginger threw him out the loading bay.

"Nora, that wasn't very nice." Ren said

"Think of it as a way to get his adrenaline pumping! Our fearless leader could use a little kick in the butt!"

"Let's just drop already Nora"Ren walked over to the pod bay, however, felt a slap on his rear.

"Boop!" Nora said cheekily as she dived into the mountains. The normally stoic hunter blushed a shade of red before shaking his head, than dropping to join the rescue

* * *

 **Omake: Motherly Intervention.**

Raven was tired. The fight with Cinder had drained her, both emotionally and physically. Vernal was a useful tool, and her loss would be one she would miss. Now, she could finally open the vault, and collect the relic.

However, the familiar fire of a shotgun shell echoed in the chamber, meaning one thing to the bandit chieftess.

Yang had come to intervene.

"Hello Yang." Raven stated coldly

"Mom, how long has this gone on?"

"Yang, you need to understand the powers at play here-"

"How many cigarettes did you smoke since you left to get some?"

Raven blinked. "Excuse me, what?"  
"Before you left, you told me you were going out for cigarettes. Smoking is a serious problem Mom, so I got together all the people close to you for an intervention! Dad, Ruby, and Uncle Qrow are here!"

"Yang, I don't smoke. That was a lie." Raven deadpanned. "I left you and Tai because I don't give a shit about you two."

"Denial is common for people who have smoking addictions."

"I left you all to reunite with the bandits who raised me. There was never any cigarettes to get!" Raven yelled, her frustration showing.

Tai put a hand on her shoulder. "Accepting you got a problem is the first step to recovery."

Raven grabbed Tai and threw him over her shoulder onto the floor with a thud. "I do not have a problem! And Qrow, you saw me over the years! I lead the bandit tribe that raised us!"

Qrow gave her a shit eating grin. "I have no idea what you're talking about sister dear. But I'm here for you now to help you through this hardship."  
Raven glared at her brother. "Shouldn't he be the one getting an intervention with his alcoholism?"

"We tried that once actually" Ruby said. "He said he needed a drink, then came back drunk and passed out on a table, breaking it. Uncle Qrow's not allowed near the good furniture anymore."

"Wait, so the dog gets to go everywhere, but I'm not allowed on the anywhere near the fine china!? Tai, what a load of-"

Tai quickly pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Want the whiskey boy? Want the whiskey! Fetch!" With that, the blonde father of two threw the bottle, Qrow turning into a bird and flying after it like a dog getting a bone.

"You know, there is always the possibility that he isn't my twin." Raven deadpanned. "No one can exactly prove we're related."

"Don't worry mom, we'll get you over your smoking in no time!"

"I. DO NOT. SMOKE."


End file.
